- JobeTheConqueror
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- Exalted Legendary Member
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Posted by: Stole my name
Seems very well-written.
The story seems acceptable on its own. However, the fact that this is a Fan Fiction actually seems to do more harm than anything else. It interferes with the writing, as you must either follow the canon, limiting your writing, or you must do something that essentially is a punch in the face of the universe your fiction is based upon. Use of existing characters also interferes with it.
Your writing style holds up quite well, even following the Halo Universe (Although some things, such as the motive for war seem relatively weak and the Elites seem to follow the beliefs of the Covenant a bit to strongly). If you fixed a few problems and possibly focused more on original characters, you could write an impressive story.
-Hoping you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism.
Constructive criticism is good and all, but... you do know what fan fiction is, right? Your advice tells a different story, that you might be confused as to exactly what you are reading.
Take a look.
Fanfiction includes the characters people love from popular games, novels, movies, etc. Characters are more than half the experience itself. Imagine the popular movie "Twilight". Now, take out all the characters. Now it's just some scenic looks at North western landscape and small semi-rural towns and high schools. Not too gripping, eh?
Characters are half the reason we love this stuff. They aren't just an integral part of the story, they ARE the story. So of course fanfiction is going to based around them. If it were mostly original characters, well then it'd be closer to regular old science fiction with a Halo theme, eh?
Think about it.
As for you there Wolverfrog, just stumbled across this, not quite finished reading it yet. Good stuff though. Follows the style adequately, and the characters seem well captured.
[Edited on 09.25.2010 2:15 PM PDT]