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  • Subject: Halo fanfic: If I were your hero
Subject: Halo fanfic: If I were your hero
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as I was lying on my bed at the night gazing the stars wondering one thing; Where the hell my roof went.

I am a Zombie.
Proud member of B.net since -04

It is marvelous work Soul!!!

Srry i just can't resist, had to post to get 600posts.
You cannot say bumbed this because it is first post while I write this.

Yet again marvelous work.

  • 08.12.2005 2:50 PM PDT
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wow, cool man. really cool. yah, that was good.
there were a few spelling mistakes though such as:

I have bad feeling about this<----no a, it should be:
I have A bad feeling about this.

solute=salute

thank you for being so damn good, can't wait for next chapter...
~pirate

  • 08.12.2005 5:30 PM PDT
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Wow... this was so cool... it gave me chills. The way you capture the emotions between Rose and Siren are extremely well done, I think I'm watching a soap, but a good one for a change.

I also find the fact that Eric was such a popular guy very amusing... and that he was after Rose... well... I find her a bit of a -blam!-, really. She doesn't really know what to do (I find her plain dumb) and she is beaten out of being spoiled, and she doesn't like it. Very nice to see. I wonder where her education will lead her....

As for the Trials with the Dabdough, very, very, very cool indeed. That creature sounds like a dinosaur or something, and those guards that set her free... very cool indeed.

What else to add? Well, Palab in action of course! Finally! Yeah, the agile, nimble, oh so cool super Grunt is back! Man... I loved that, the way he can just piss on everybody and get away with it.... that's a Dutch and expression and it might sound somwhat weird to you.

A superb chapter, soulguard. Keep it up!

  • 08.13.2005 7:21 AM PDT
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.........What else is there to say? I should actually quote Limited Edition... but that wouldn't be original... and how am I supposed to come up with something original here? Dang.

I'll just gice it a try: Marvelous (yes, that's what everyone says, but watch this) you captured so many characters and stuck to their true emotions, you kept them in place, Palab is a mountain and nothing could possibly move him away anymore, you will forever be known as the writer that created Palab, King of the Grunts. Rose, Eric, Siren, Wesley, so many possible relationships going on... reminds me of Harry Potter... bloody J.K. Rowling....

Well, nothing more to say or I'd fall out of the 'Original Pattern' so just this: nice job, thanks for the PM and keep this up. Scorptank had a point; you could actually make this into a Fall of Reach, The Flood, First Strike-like book series. Keep this up, whatever you do.

  • 08.13.2005 7:27 AM PDT
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absolutly brilliant that rewrite was worth it soul just amazing

same as tom im running out of comments i can give without repeating my self but that was just brilliand especially the seed ship that sounds like it repopulated the galaxy after the ark went off? thats why they all have numbers? so they could be easily referenced and recorded

but just amazing : )

  • 08.13.2005 10:36 AM PDT
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MUST FIND MORE COOKIES FOR SOULGUARD!!!

  • 08.13.2005 12:12 PM PDT
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Well worth reading. Keep up the good work.

  • 08.13.2005 2:47 PM PDT
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roll on the next chapter!!!!

amazing just re read and oh my gods it is bloody amazing

  • 08.14.2005 1:58 PM PDT
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Damn it's so hot here in New York, and the computer room has no AC so I'll just say fantabulous chapter, keep 'em comin', and chocolate cake is awesome.

  • 08.14.2005 2:15 PM PDT

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Short Update
Progressing nicely toward the next stage. 16 is looking to be quite entertaining.
Scorptank/Col Pain: that is an excellent observation. I double checked my notes and reread First Strike to be sure. True, she has "Seen" the BR-55 before, but she never used one. I guess I chose the wrong phrase.

Halo: First Strike, Chapter 13, p. 134-135:
"Kelly, take point," Fred ordered. He grabbed two of the new magnum pistols, loaded them, and then tossed them to Kelly, along with three extra clips. "I guess you get to test these."


Throught the rest of the book, Kelly only fires the magnums, before she is abducted by Halsey. There is a short absence of her presence after her (second) surgery, but when she wakes up Grace she doesn't comment on haveing a weapon. Seeing that they are in a combat ready state I would assume she is armed, but not sure with what. So I'm going to stick with that she hasn't "really" seen the BR-55... suggesting that she hasn't "Touched it".

... what else. Oh yeah, glad you all liked it. And why do some of you feel it was weird? Weird good, or bad? Feel free to ask, I'll answer guestions as best I can.
-soulguard

  • 08.15.2005 11:27 AM PDT
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The "trials" portion of it may be what some people are calling weird. I personally liked it.

But hey, you've got Mr. Clark making changes to his next chapter forcing him to delay his next release. What with the appearance of Halsey and Linda and all. Great minds must think a like. - LE

  • 08.15.2005 11:48 AM PDT
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haha really didn't know that well done soul for stmpin mr c well done and canny wait for the next chapter

  • 08.15.2005 12:17 PM PDT
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Posted by: Limited Edition
The "trials" portion of it may be what some people are calling weird. I personally liked it.

But hey, you've got Mr. Clark making changes to his next chapter forcing him to delay his next release. What with the appearance of Halsey and Linda and all. Great minds must think a like. - LE


I think it's because of the happenings on Jogrennilee (or what Clark calls 'Dorenth... and between you and me, I prefer Jogrennilee ;-) and indeed, LE, the appearance of Kelly and Halsey. Their appearance is inevitable, and I am glad that I've chosen to let them appear in my story in an earlier stage because I'd be in trouble just like Clark if I hadn't.

I still wonder about that creature, the Dabdough, which I find - with all due respect for thinking up an entirely new species in the Halo Universe - rather wierd. Is there going to appear something that will explain about the Dabdough in further detail? Or is it just an appearance in the story? And that creature that appeared in that light-orb/thing... a Sharquoi? A Forerunner? An ancient Elite? A Monitor? A Prophet? Another new species? My grandma?.... a bad attempt at humor.... And what's with the Seed-thing? Everytime I hear 'Seed' I think of these massive mobile suits... courtesy to the Japanese 'Gundam-Seed Series' a Japanese manga thing..... Damn... whoever said Manga/Anime poisoned your brain was right.....

Anyway, I'll wait eagerly for the new chapter, and I would have started a discussion on that thing in the light orb/thingy but I'm short of information. I'll give SpecOps and GM a call, see what they can do for me. Seed... seed... 'Destiny Gundam'.... Damn....

  • 08.15.2005 12:30 PM PDT
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Posted by: Scorptank
[quote]Posted by: Limited Edition
I think it's because of the happenings on Jogrennilee (or what Clark calls 'Dorenth... and between you and me, I prefer Jogrennilee ;-) and indeed, LE, the appearance of Kelly and Halsey. Their appearance is inevitable, and I am glad that I've chosen to let them appear in my story in an earlier stage because I'd be in trouble just like Clark if I hadn't.

IAnd that creature that appeared in that light-orb/thing... a Sharquoi? A Forerunner? An ancient Elite? A Monitor? A Prophet? Another new species? My grandma?.... a bad attempt at humor.... And what's with the Seed-thing? Everytime I hear 'Seed' I think of these massive mobile suits... courtesy to the Japanese 'Gundam-Seed Series' a Japanese manga thing..... Damn... whoever said Manga/Anime poisoned your brain was right.....



i agree Jogrennilee sounds a lot better

and i think the creature is a fore runner AI

and the seed ship is something ment to repopulate the galaxy after the halos fired kinda like the titan in titan ae after earth or like noahs ark

  • 08.15.2005 12:35 PM PDT
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Catherine glinted and eyebrow, “Then I assume that Elder Barremee has stepped down, or worse?”

With a confused expression, Vornaldea looked to Simyaldee. They were both astonished that she was aware of the deceased former head of the council.

“He was killed by the brutes during the initial attacks. But how…”

“That is very unfortunate.” Catherine sighed as she thumbed her chin in deep thought. “According to the Prophets research, he was the last generation of the…”


Ahhh, the mystery deepens greatly with a certain interrupted sentence. One wonders if the Prophets, an experiment themselves (?), have followed the lead of their creators / modifiers and have tinkered with a select few of the covenant leadership. What other races have been tinkered with? What mystery do the Mirratord really protect?

Equally interesting is the questions surrounding the sending off a certain planet busting nuke. Were DID that go anyways?

Humans, Grunts and Elites all have a to-be-determined heritage or history, unbeknownst to all - save for the Doctor, whatever Kelly Gleaned in her stupor and the villainous Prophets. Just what did the good doctor and Vornaldea see and hear in the chamber of the Forerunner facility?

Lastly, what would a reclaimer do with a "seed installation" ?

First post - Soulguard, your story is great, it is so much so, I had to join and ask questions rather than creep in the background as I have done for (years?) . I am excited to see what new questions await in the next chapter!

  • 08.15.2005 12:42 PM PDT

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Dabdough, Forerunners, and Seeds.. oh my!

Scorptank/col pain... Hmm... the Dabdough does have another graceful appearence, but don't dwell on it too much for now. Let's just say that it is a creature used for "sport" by the elites. It is simply a wild animal that the elites have bred for years, becasue they consider it a "worthy" hunt for the young elites. It is going to get some more detail about it, but you'll see. It will be a nice spin to elite culture.

Welcome captain safety, very glad you've decided to drop a line. As you may know, I PM everyone that posts within the last four pages so that way you'll instantly know that a new stage has arrived. You ask a lot of good questions, and I will be sure to answer them... in forth coming stages, sorry, but too much info may ruin the plot. But you are the first to point out the certain statment made by the Doctor. Noting that she was, in fact, about to say something ... important. I'll leave it at that.

Also: Dorenth and Jogrennilee are both mine. I doubled checked to be sure, but Mr_C doesn't say anyting about dorenth. Dorenth is the name of the Elite homeworld... Jogrennilee is the Captial City.

-soulguard

  • 08.15.2005 1:06 PM PDT
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No cookies here, soulguard. Sorry... :)

  • 08.15.2005 1:33 PM PDT
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nice soul nice when will the next chaper be?

because im back to school now i will only be on for about two days a week sat and sunday and possiably friday night

so ill bee seein you all

  • 08.15.2005 11:48 PM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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Hope your holiday was a restful/enjoyable one, Highland.

Looking to post stage 16 on friday.

As a side note, It is interesting that you all "assumed" that Mr_C was speaking of me, it does say a lot, but I was not out to prove, shutdown, out do, or beat Mr_C (if he was in fact speaking of me). I highly respect Mr_C as an author/writer, and would totally stop writing if I ever thought that I was competeing against him. Granted, there is some form of competition amongst writers, but nothing that we cheer for. I judge my level based on the responses I get (good and bad). For Mr_C, Scorptank, HaloXenon, SilkyCarp, etc... it may be different, but I don't see us as competing. I see us more along the lines of being in a classroom... we're all learning the ins and outs of writing as we go, some are more advanced then others, and some need more assistance. I write here to gadge my progress, to see if I'm ready to go beyond Fanfic writing and pursue something more. Of course, there is a huge gap between Fanfic writing and professional (I would assume that I'm an ametuer), but one must start someplace.

This "Classroom" has some good reviewers, some better then others, but what it allows me to see is that readers enjoy the material, this also lets me know that I need work in certain areas (mainly grammer checking). But all in all, I get the feed back I need from you guys, and while a professional editor or reviewer may rip me to shreds, I can still gadge my abilities here, cuase if you can't please a bunch of Halo fans with a Halo Fanfic... then you probably can't create an enjoyable stand alone novel.

Anyway, being the big fan of Mr_C that I am, trying to "stump" him was never my goal, and the fact that we do have a similar progression at this point is only coincidence. (Once again.. IF HE WAS talking about me. There are a lot of writers around here.)
More info soon...

-soulguard

  • 08.16.2005 5:56 AM PDT
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That's a nice one... Classroom. True, as far as I'm concerned, there is no competition at all, amongst writers. Hell, Soulguard, we even advertise for each other. But there is a certain level of competition amongst the readers. I'm blessed with a group of mature readers, criticizing me fairly, delivering good feedback, and most importantly of all: do not compare my writing to that of others.

There are trillions of styles of writing, and you pick the one you like. If you are good at type of writing, you know that you have a certain amount of talent. Others pick a style of writing and screw up. Then you could consider giving up the writing, or buy books that help you to improve it. There are books on plot-development and storylines. Personally I don't think I'd want to read something like that, writing is something that comes from yourself, your well of inspiration. And if it drains too quickly, tough luck, but if it is an ocean of inspiration... well... guess what: you might actually become a writer.

And it is true what you say about fanfiction, Soulguard, it is a nice way to start professional writing because you have the characters ready for you. You can grab the Master Chief as a character and start writing about him. For some people it's hard to come up with a character, but once they have one.... Fanfictions are a nice start.

But competition? No. That's a wrong thought, to judge one by his amount of posts is very wrong indeed.

And Soulguard, Mr_Clark was speaking of you. For sure. He said that a recently released chapter was the reason for him to delay something. Three writers released new chapters, lately. You, Silky Carp and myself. My storyline doesn't come close to touching Mr_C's, and as far as I know, neither does Silky's. That leaves you, my friend. Of course I would be making a complete fool out of myself if it was somehow proven that I was wrong....

  • 08.16.2005 7:07 AM PDT

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Very true on all accounts, scorptank. Once again you show the wisdom beyond your years.

And I guess I did feel like he was speaking of me, but I didn't want to acknowledge it seeing that he was tight liped about not speaking the name of the writer. Oh well it was as fun little game while it lasted. haha

Pushing forward... I just finished the halfway mark of stage 16... and goodness gracious I think I'm going to upset a lot of Halo Theoriest with this stage. Everything about the forerunners will be splurged out this time (well, not everything). No holds barred.

-soulguard

[Edited on 8/16/2005]

  • 08.16.2005 9:10 AM PDT
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Posted by: soulguard
Very true on all accounts, scorptank. Once again you show the wisdom beyond your years.

Come again? Wisdom beyond my years? Wow....

And I guess I did feel like he was speaking of me, but I didn't want to acknowledge it seeing that he was tight liped about not speaking the name of the writer. Oh well it was as fun little game while it lasted. haha
You cannot live your life in ignorance, my friend.

Pushing forward... I just finished the halfway mark of stage 16... and goodness gracious I think I'm going to upset a lot of Halo Theoriest with this stage. Everything about the forerunners will be splurged out this time (well, not everything). No holds barred.

-soulguard


Don't splurge it all out, please. I'm beginning to like these 'Oh-What-Would-Soulguard-Do-This-Time? kind of thoughts. You're really captivating my mind here.

[Edited on 8/16/2005]

  • 08.16.2005 9:29 AM PDT
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as I was lying on my bed at the night gazing the stars wondering one thing; Where the hell my roof went.

I am a Zombie.
Proud member of B.net since -04

OMFG!

This is kinda funny to read how our two best writers advertise how other is best and vice versa.

So its half-ready SG? Damn, i gotta keep up with pace. My newest chapter ain't even 1/3 ready. Some cyborg there?

And you're both right, this ain't competition. We're here to learn how to make story that sells.
I am amateur, hell i even need some one else to check if i made mistakes in my fanfic.
I'm here to write and see how people react, and to have hints from you guys. Without your help i hadn't even started writing, and it always pleasure to read newest chapter from both of you.

But could someone tell me, what the hell is this Mr_C thingy? I'm so out, that i need someone to clear this thing out.

  • 08.16.2005 9:42 AM PDT
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Posted by: HaloXenon
OMFG!

This is kinda funny to read how our two best writers advertise how other is best and vice versa.

True, HaloXenon. It reminds me of the usual:
"You go first, my friend."
-"No you, go first."
"Oh, no. You should go first. I insist."
-"Please, don't humiliate yourself. After you."
"Listen up, ****! You go first right now! Or I'll ****!"
-Oh, **** you go first you big ***** and you can ****** your ***** in the ***** of a ****** and ***** etc. etc. etc. etc,
But it's good to see that Scorp and Soul get along so well. I rather see them as friends than enemies. Great minds think alike, and they are both pros with genuine respect for each other. That's good.

But could someone tell me, what the hell is this Mr_C thingy? I'm so out, that i need someone to clear this thing out.
Well, yesterday Mr_C announced that he had to re-write a part of his chapter in order to make it look different than the person who had brought out his chapter a little earlier. And we have much reason to believe that Soulguard is the person Clark was talking about. Voila, it's cleared.

  • 08.16.2005 10:41 AM PDT
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Seems as if some of the Elites still don't respect Palab or Eric based on the Dabdough trial thing, even though they did manage to kill it. However, I think the Councilors respect them greatly because they knew what a threat the thing posed to the entire Inner Sanctum. Also, that was real weird with the upside-down thing near the Forerunner Computer Centre. And of course, what is this "Seed" Installation? But wow, it was great.

....Palab owns all ;)

  • 08.16.2005 11:36 AM PDT