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  • Subject: Halo fanfic: If I were your hero
Subject: Halo fanfic: If I were your hero

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Hmmm... If I were to guess.. the lottery numbers would be...
7
7
7

... odd... all 7's.

Anyway. Thanks all. I'm working on the update... but the only thing I can say now is that I'm staring at a blank page. I can't even think of an openning. I know what the stage will be about, and what will happen, but openning the stage is tough. I can't think of a good openning sentence. Perhaps my pace over the last few weeks is finally catching up with me?

More soon.

-soulguard

  • 08.22.2005 12:55 PM PDT
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Posted by: soulguard
I can't even think of an opening. I know what the stage will be about, and what will happen, but openning the stage is tough. I can't think of a good openning sentence. Perhaps my pace over the last few weeks is finally catching up with me?

More soon.

-soulguard


I doubt your pace is catching up with you. I am a relatively slow worker and I had (still have, actually) the same trouble with my own chapters. You have good stuff to work with, but you want the opening to come with a bang, and that doesn't work very often. Just think it through, or you'll end up deleting the first four pages after you've started... which happened to me....

[Edited on 8/23/2005]

  • 08.23.2005 4:12 AM PDT
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No! Domadree! Goddamn it! Why? Why? Why did you have to hand him over to the Flood?You monster... alright, I'm seriously overreacting now, but that's because I'm living the sto
Yeah I'm thinking so too...

That was one great piece of writing, but why Domadree? YOU MONSTER!

  • 08.23.2005 11:22 AM PDT
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You may think of me as weird, but I enjoy when "favored" characters are killed off in one way or another. It adds a complex feeling to the literature, making it more then a joy ride of a reading experiance, but it taps deeper then joy and into anger. That makes a good book.

  • 08.23.2005 12:21 PM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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You were right Scorptank. I pushed on with the stage, and then ventured back to the openning paragraph, It flowed rather smoothly.

And sorry about poor Domadree.It was a hard choice but someone had to go. But trust me, by the time the next two stages are over, you will have forgotten all about the Ship master. Trust me, I reread the last few pages that I've worked on and found myself getting emotional (anger, hatred, sad... so many emotions).

Bromster has a good point, one that I've pointed out in many threads, (Mr_Clarks and Scorptanks). A story really shows it's worth when you can actually pull the readers into the story, and they actually care about the characters.

-soulguard

  • 08.23.2005 9:25 PM PDT
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Posted by: soulguard
Bromster has a good point, one that I've pointed out in many threads, (Mr_Clarks and Scorptanks). A story really shows it's worth when you can actually pull the readers into the story, and they actually care about the characters.

-soulguard

In other words, you feel -blam!- when a character dies. Yeah, true. Bromster's right, you should feel bad when a main character dies in a story, that means you are connected.

  • 08.24.2005 2:45 AM PDT
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as I was lying on my bed at the night gazing the stars wondering one thing; Where the hell my roof went.

I am a Zombie.
Proud member of B.net since -04


Sad indeed. But its inevitable to have some of the Characters to die, so story would flow.
ppl need to get known first to main characters and then, writer must one by one take them away.

(like i have done all the time. 7 maincharacters have already died in my story).

-HaloXenon-

  • 08.24.2005 3:31 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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Whoa, Halo Xenon! 7?? Guh... oh well.

Stage 17 Update

On schedule (so far) for another friday release. This stage is finally pushing the story into the action phase of my little piece of fanfiction. There will be shocking developments, twists, character expansions, carnage, chaos, bunny rabbits, and well... the $hit hits the fan.

However, I must say that I'm doing something I thought I wouldn't do. A while ago, I said that this story wouldn't be a love story.. however it does have a heavy Dramatic element. Well... I still stand by that this isn't a love story, but the Drama might make you think otherwise. A lot of things will be said in this stage that will flat out confuse you. It may even be awkward, but I hope that by the end of the story you will understand "why" certain things were said and done. With that in mind I leave you to ponder the future events of this little fanfic.

The title; Stage 17: Clash of the Titans

-soulguard



[Edited on 8/24/2005]

  • 08.24.2005 7:06 AM PDT
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COOL

and whythe f**k do you always release them when im away i won't read till late sunday

dam you and your sense of timing

[Edited on 8/24/2005]

  • 08.24.2005 9:09 AM PDT
Subject: Halo fanfic: If Domadree were your hero
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“You will not die, you will lead, you will feed, you will grow, you will show us what you know so that we may feed. Mercy showed us here, you will show us the seed, we will feed and we will grow.” --- Interesting, just how does Graveminds sister, I mean "Brain Form", know about the Seed installations. Was it information kept from the last time the installations were fired, or did someone clue them in?

Monroe's Black Ops team: Was this simply a backup team in the event that the peace with the covenant did not last or is there something much more devious in store for the newly branded peace "treaty"? Clues, clues + clues.

We have Siren saying “The elite fleet is in shambles, the flood are attacking without regard for the safety of their own ships." “Excellent. ONI will be pleased.” Monroe said.

"Excellent" huh? Interesting comment to be made regarding an ally! Oh.. and once again, the PLANET BUSTING NUKE?

An ONI, just how do they know about the newly discovered installation?

____________________

“How can I tell the rest of my kin, my brothers, what I have heard today? That we are nothing more then tools.” Just what does this imply? I am not sure if there is yet evidence that the Forerunners created each species, however it is clear they at some point wiped the plate clean and started over. As someone else noted, the two humans, Adam and Eve... mmmm? Just what did the "holy" Forerunners have in mind with the Humans, Elites and other Aliens?

One wonders why the Human race is cataloged as "Species 011". Forerunners appear to be most similar to humans. Who is made in Who's image? Are the Forerunners simply a pre-firing Covenant?

Looking forward to the next chapter!

  • 08.24.2005 9:18 AM PDT
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I thoroughly enjoy reading this story it is quite intense and elaborate. However, a few things bother me, and just a personal disclaimer i read this stuff while at work so it isn't a continuous flow....so if i miss something don't shoot me. Anyhow,.....

1. Not this chapter but the one before with the trials. The whole secret addition of the Dabdough that was bigger and meaner by those 3 secret elites...I got a sense of conspiracy that they were trying to...hhmmm what's the word..KILL eric/palab by rigging the trial. Especially when they killed one of their own elites (the watchman) to get it into the trial.

2. I understand that the elite/human relationship was fragile but what spartan would leave her/his armor behind especially without any intel on the ins and outs of the situation on the enemy homeworld. That sort of threw me when i read that.

3.Last thing: the whole ONI thing. I don't remember a capt. monroe but maybe i missed it or forgot, is she a new character? As for ONI themselves who are they..i mean there is so much mystery surrounding them but yet they are always around. The main colonels and generals aren't ONI...I mean i understand that they are like the FBI or CIA or something like that but when the poo hits the fan as bad as it has for the human race what secrets do you really need to keep...and furthermore how are they able to always be 2 steps ahead of everyone but yet couldn't or didn't do more to prevent the war/ or deal with the halo's or whatever else they knew but were just watching.

Don't take any of this the wrong way i love the story in fact it is my favorite out of all the stories here on bungie...but i just had to ask about 1 and 2. However, 3 was more of a rant not directed specifically at you but all the fanfics...everyone seems to cloak ONI in this shroud of mystery yet never ending list of operatives and secrets. I have a hard time thinking that they are still on top of everything way ahead of the game and pulling the strings, with impending doom all around.whew end rant.

again i could have missed explanations to everything but i like to think i am semi good at remembering. Otherwise excellent work and i am excited to see how this hell-battle works out.

  • 08.24.2005 3:42 PM PDT
Subject: Halo fanfic: If were your hero

TWP - Assistant Director
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And a very excellent Rant it was. It's been a while GruntsRgreat, glad you came back.
To answer some (if not all) your questions:

1. Not this chapter but the one before with the trials. The whole secret addition of the Dabdough that was bigger and meaner by those 3 secret elites...I got a sense of conspiracy that they were trying to...hhmmm what's the word..KILL eric/palab by rigging the trial. Especially when they killed one of their own elites (the watchman) to get it into the trial.
A good observation, and it something that I have been "hinting" at since our heroes arrived on the Elite world. The Watchmen are young elites that are "herders" of the Dabdough. I will say this again... they are young. You are correct that they did kill an Inner Sanctum guard that watches the lower entrance gate.. not the Tram gate. Also, if you look back Stage 14 (Blood Oath), there is a scene there with another Young Elite. That is yet another hint to things to come. That scene (odd is it may seem) ties directly with the Watchmen/Dabdough incident. Here is something to dwell on.

...“Our young have been taught much differently then we were in our youth.” Domadree stated while shacking his head in shame. “Truly this is more of the prophets’ doing. Their teachings within our academies have greatly influenced the young, they do not uphold the old traditions of our ancestors. The prophets taught them conquest and battle, not honor and wisdom.” Domadree thought of Gridolee and how he also showed great hatred toward all other creatures.


2. I understand that the elite/human relationship was fragile but what spartan would leave her/his armor behind especially without any intel on the ins and outs of the situation on the enemy homeworld. That sort of threw me when i read that.
I'll agree with this one. However, seeing that Marines were left on guard to protect the armor, all I can really say is; Kelly felt it more important to go with Dr. Halsey, then tug around her half ton suit, since if she wore it before her body could heal, it would kill her. But at least she left it guarded. LOL.

In orbit several marines boarded the tiny Chiroptera cruiser, and as quickly as they could, began to lock down Kelly’s MJOLNIR Mark V armor. While the elites watched in confusion.

“Thank you Private. At least now I know that those elites won’t get to my suit without a fight.” Kelly smirked as she inspected the BR-55 battle rifle. Her eyes gazed down the barrel as she fondled the scope and trimmed the trigger. She had yet to see the new rifle and was equally pleased at it, but she still wanted to shoot it to get an accurate feel.



3.Last thing: the whole ONI thing. I don't remember a capt. monroe but maybe i missed it or forgot, is she a new character? As for ONI themselves who are they..i mean there is so much mystery surrounding them but yet they are always around. The main colonels and generals aren't ONI...I mean i understand that they are like the FBI or CIA or something like that but when the poo hits the fan as bad as it has for the human race what secrets do you really need to keep...and furthermore how are they able to always be 2 steps ahead of everyone but yet couldn't or didn't do more to prevent the war/ or deal with the halo's or whatever else they knew but were just watching.
Captain Monroe is briefly introduced in Stage 12 (The dark side of troy) and 13 (Intruder Alert). She is the captain of the Black Ops squad's ship, the Rogue Fantasy. The two chapters were flashbacks to Melanie and Eric's last mission together with the Black Ops, and showed how Melanie lost her sister, Kim.

ONI: The Office of Naval Intelligence. It really is hard to describe them, but basically, yeah, they know everything. Except how to "do" it. But I can summerize loosely. Within my story, Doctor Halsey found out that the Human and Covenat had met nearly 10 years before the war began. The details of this "meeting" were kept secret, such that only ONI knew the details. Doc Halsey found this info out because she found "more" prophet data stored within the Drones nest in a deep space Forerunner installation.

“Wait, so ONI knew about Halo?” Kelly asked with a mouth full of food.

“Yes, for at least the past forty years.” Catherine added with a whim. “But what they thought was simply a ring world was much more then they had believed. I don’t think ONI ever had a chance to study the ring fully, if they had they would have easily encountered the flood. But the data was void of anything remotely similar to the flood.”

“So why didn’t they study it?” Kelly questioned.

“Because it was already occupied.” Catherine stated as she leaned back on the cot.


Well there you go. I'm glad you asked the questions because I really want people to notice the suttle things within the story. I do a lot of small hints within the story that eventually turn out to be HUGE clues. So that when (if) you go back and read the story you'll see things that you didn't pay much attention to before. It is my hope that when I'm finished the story, and it is read again, you will see the story in a whole new light.

I hope this helps gruntsRgreat. Please, ask questions, it lets me know that you are interested.

-soulguard.

  • 08.24.2005 8:58 PM PDT
Subject: Halo Fanfic: If I were your hero (Stage 17 info P-27)
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hey soulguard....my fanfic is finished...(short story) i was wonderin if u could take a look at it

  • 08.25.2005 6:15 AM PDT
Subject: Halo fanfic: If were your hero
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Subtle, eh? Well, it's hard to keep track of all the subtle things. But I think I am getting a clear picture of what's been going on over there. I'll just keep it to myself, see if I was right.

  • 08.25.2005 6:55 AM PDT
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Thanks for the answers so quickly!! Again love the story but as you have illustrated to me, I need to re-read the entire thing in one or 2 sittings. It is hard to keep track of all of this when i check in every other week or two...but it is even harder to not read a new chapter when it comes out. Anyway thanks again for answering my questions and fantastic job so far with your story. I look forward to seeing how the battle/war works out you must have something up your sleeve still. I forgot about the thing domadree said about the young being trained with more of a prophet influence. All these fanfics are so good and original i don't know how (if they make a new novel) a "pro" writer could top some of the amazing and exciting stories that some of the writers in here have done. anyway talk to you later.

  • 08.25.2005 8:17 AM PDT
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Posted by: gruntsRgreat
All these fanfics are so good and original I don't know how (if they make a new novel) a "pro" writer could top some of the amazing and exciting stories that some of the writers in here have done.

I couldn't agree more. I bet writers like Scorptank, Soulguard here, and Mr_Clark are making Eric Nylund sweat. Hehe....

  • 08.25.2005 9:30 AM PDT
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Yes!! Finally the bunny rabbit carnage I came to expect from you soulgaurd. Bunnies rock!

  • 08.25.2005 10:16 AM PDT
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Posted by: SpecOps Elite007
Posted by: gruntsRgreat
All these fanfics are so good and original I don't know how (if they make a new novel) a "pro" writer could top some of the amazing and exciting stories that some of the writers in here have done.

I couldn't agree more. I bet writers like Scorptank, Soulguard here, and Mr_Clark are making Eric Nylund sweat. Hehe....

mabey thats why we aint seen a book out a him yet he is too scared to come out of his hole incase he makes a complete piece of utter rubbish unlike these fanfics which would probably happen

  • 08.25.2005 10:24 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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Bad News

Do to a scheduling conflict (I forgot I had meetings all day today) I was unable to work on the Stage 16 like I had hoped. Chances are slim that I will finish and edit the stage before tomorrow, so instead of rushing it I've decided to hold of and work on it over the weekend.
I will post on Monday.

Sorry for the delay (stupid work and their work workerings).

-soulguard

[Edited on 8/25/2005]

  • 08.25.2005 12:02 PM PDT
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yay ill be here on monday!!!!

and i advise everyone to go read toms halo 3 alliances new chapter it rocks



  • 08.25.2005 12:11 PM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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Excellent suggestion. Head over to Scorptank's thread and get caught up with his story. I'm sure it will be excellent as always.

Till monday...

-soulguard

  • 08.25.2005 1:16 PM PDT
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c ya

  • 08.25.2005 11:45 PM PDT
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wat the hell??? away for threed ays and not one post????

com on peopoe lets have some discussion


if anyone wants to voulanteer a topic im all ears

can't wait till tmrw fo souls next chap

  • 08.28.2005 10:01 AM PDT
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the new chapter comes out today right?

  • 08.29.2005 1:25 PM PDT
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COOL! The next chapter and RvB season 4 on the same day!

  • 08.29.2005 1:36 PM PDT