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  • Subject: Halo Fanfic: If I were your hero (Stage 5 posted)
Subject: Halo Fanfic: If I were your hero (Stage 5 posted)

TWP - Assistant Director
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The bombardment was their signal. Will exploded through the grate, and rammed his combat knife into the back of a Brutes head. Two Jackals spotted the Spartan and shrieked in terror. Two more Brutes quickly spotted the squad as they all sprang from the tunnel. One by one the alien invaders turned their weapons on the group of humans that sprinted toward the purple haze of the gravity lift.

The Spartan was spotted by several Brutes and most of them were cautious on how to handle the human warrior.

“The Demon is here?” A Brute roared, but he was quickly silenced by a full round from Eric’s battle rifle. There was no need to be silent anymore; their presence had been detected by a few dozen troops.

“Move people!” Eric shouted as he took down two Brutes and a Jackal in succession. “Wesley, get the squad to the gravity lift! GO!” Battle riffle and submachine gun’s chimed in the air as marines from Red Squad shot down any covenant foe that came too close to their path toward the gravity lift. They were outnumbered and out gunned but so far the bombers were doing a good job distracting the majority of the covenant forces. They gunfire from the marines was drowned out by the explosion from above.

Eric slowly pulled up the rear, assisted by the Spartan. Will’s aim was as precise as Eric’s and one by one they took down anything that came into range. The staggered backward, coving the rear of the squad. The marines were at full stride toward the gravity lift, and the covenant forces weren’t advancing for fear of being taken down by Eric and Will’s deadly aim.

Will spotted a Brute near a communications array and lobbed a grenade. The array exploded and fried the Brute that was trying to radio for assistance. The overhead bombardment suddenly ended and the only noise left in the area was the three burst shots of human battle rifles. The racket gained the attention of the remaining covenant forces in the area and they all focused in on the small squad that was sprinting up the street toward the gravity lift. The situation suddenly changed. With the added support of more Brutes the covenant forces were now eager to kill the Spartan that they mistook to be the Demon that destroyed their holy ring. But the Demon’s reputation made them hesitate; none of them wanted to attack Spartan head on.

Will and Eric were laying down standard suppression fire as they quickly followed their squad. Wesley was now in a full sprint up the street. He quickly unbuckled his magnum from his hip holster and took aim at a few jackals standing next to the lift. His rounds bounced harmlessly off their shields as plasma began streaking towards him. A grenade soared over his head and the explosion sent the jackals screaming into separate directions. Wesley didn’t care who threw the grenade, he only knew that he had to run faster. A plasma burst hit him in the leg and he cringed in pain. He doubled over but rolled to his feet and kept moving.

Rose was sprinting hard toward the gravity lift when she saw Wesley fall. She gasped but relaxed when Wesley jumped up and kept running. She pulled up her battle riffle, and took aim at the brute that was taking shots at the squad as they ran by. She began to side step but maintained her gaze at the head of the beast. She was still moving at a full sprint when she squeezed the trigger. Three bursts exploded from the barrel and slammed through the side of the Brutes face. The beast exhaled as it slammed into the ground. She turned and raced toward the gravity lift. Wesley and several other marines were waiting just beyond the purple glow. They had turned and were firing back at the jackals that were swarming down the street. Rose reached the lift and turned to assist in the firefight when she felt a surge of pain shoot up her side.

She thought she was hit, but the pain was internal. She knew the feeling well and quickly struggled against it. Her body was reacting from the physical strain. Her lungs were tight, and her heart was racing madly. She was winded and her muscles were cramping, her body was beginning to asphyxiate. She was pushing too hard, and not getting enough oxygen. She had just sprinted one hundred yards and hadn’t fully recovered from the one mile run. She hadn’t pushed herself this hard since her collage days, and her body was shutting down. She had to fight it, she had to breathe and shoot. But she knew the first sign; she was going to black out. She took aim and fired wildly. She saw the Spartan and Eric running down the street toward her and they were being chased by a dozen Brutes. She had to fight it, she had to focus, and she didn’t want to fail her squad. Her head became light, her gun was becoming nearly impossible to hold, her vision began to blur, and her body slowly shut down.

“First team, move in!” Wesley shouted. He reached out and grabbed Rose’s backpack as she slumped forward, and passed out. He pulled her into the gravity lift as plasma bursts exploded around them from all directions. “Second team; maintain covering fire for the serge.” Wesley shouted as his first team was raised into the heart of the covenant cruiser.

The Spartan turned and dropped two grenades at the charging line of Brutes, while Eric turned and took head shots at them. They reached the gravity lift and jumped inside, along with the rest of Red Squad, and were lifted into the ship. Had it not been for Will’s mistaken identity as the Master Chief, and the nervousness it created amongst the Brutes, the mission would have failed. The only thing that kept the Brutes from fully charging at the humans was the Spartan that ran along side them.

But the mission wasn’t over.


To be continued…


[Edited on 5/12/2005]

  • 05.12.2005 9:42 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
Blade Runner: #00124A
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**************
Extra note: To anyone that didn't recieve a PM, sorry. A lot of PM's were sent out on Monday, and not everyone has chimmed in yet and read stage 4, so I only PM'd those that replied after stage 4 was posted. My thinking is that if you hadn't posted then you hadn't yet read stage 4 and once you read stage 4 you'd see stage 5. uhhhh.... yeah... or I'm lazy and this has been a long arse day.

Sorry for not PM'ing everyone, but I will get you all for the next stage.

  • 05.12.2005 10:00 AM PDT
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as I was lying on my bed at the night gazing the stars wondering one thing; Where the hell my roof went.

I am a Zombie.
Proud member of B.net since -04

that was damn good chapter.

it wasnt Fred, but Will is doing well.

Four Scorpion Tanks, eight Warthogs, and two Pelicans gave a clear signal to the covenant forces that a major battle was headed their way. The platoon scattered and spread throughout the area. One tank per four warthogs,

here's one thing that you could correct; if or theres eight more warthogs :)

heh but still it had some amazing action. you are so good.

  • 05.12.2005 10:29 AM PDT
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saw it but he sw it first anyway though good action
nice touch with rose blacking out well done

  • 05.12.2005 10:51 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
Blade Runner: #00124A
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wow, you guys are quick!!! Thanks. Errors noted and fixed.

  • 05.12.2005 11:14 AM PDT
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another gr8 chapter

  • 05.12.2005 11:27 AM PDT
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well considrin im in uk im not that quick i was already on when i got the pm and came straight here it was like 1800 here so hey

  • 05.12.2005 12:19 PM PDT
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as I was lying on my bed at the night gazing the stars wondering one thing; Where the hell my roof went.

I am a Zombie.
Proud member of B.net since -04

Heh quick and quick.
I was re-reading your story on Page 4 when i got your PM, i didnt even open it.
i just realized that its gotta be from you 'cause you said that new part is going to be out today.

I was already waiting it.

it was worth of it. Also did you get my PM. new part is out.

have to copy that firstpage lazylink system. its so easy to use. and helps new fans very much.

but now See ya.

  • 05.12.2005 1:04 PM PDT
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yeah i've been telling people how to use lazy links for ages it's so inconvinient sometimes cause i will get pms from a half dozen people asking how to do it

you see all my groups tell people just ask brute he knows how to send it in a pm

oh yeah and gr8 job got a date for the next bit i'd understand if you tooka break though i probably would

  • 05.12.2005 3:15 PM PDT
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great chapter looking forward to the next

  • 05.12.2005 4:21 PM PDT
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some problems with spelling and some grammatical errors, but otherwise, awesome job.

  • 05.13.2005 6:07 AM PDT
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Great keep up the good work so far this week as been great 17 for Mr C's and Stage 5 for yours (man i'am happy.)

  • 05.13.2005 7:24 AM PDT
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Nice, Soulguard, nice.
I know I haven't posted in a while, but now I'm back.
I see you did a little Halo 3: Alliances advertising..... YOU BETTER! lol.
Thanks mate, I appreciate it.

Back to the fic; I really like this story, nice characters and their personalities are well thought up. I also like the coversations with the a$$ and $hit and stuff. Reminds me of Chavez from Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six.

There's not much bad about the story, but.... you seem to use capital letters quite randomly.
Example; in a sentence, you say Jackal, then later it's jackal, then it's Jackal... and so on.
That's not very bad or anything, but it's somewhat... well.....
And some minor spelling errors, but nothing lethal... so to you I say; keep up the good work.

  • 05.13.2005 8:42 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
Blade Runner: #00124A
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JcHeat; Serpensium_4; scorptank
Thanks gang. As for Will, stage 6 is all about him and Wesley... but as I said, this isn't going to be a spartan story, so you'll only going to see a little bit more of Will. Not really a spoiler, but for those thinking that he was going to stay in the story that might spoil it for you.

Welcome back scorptank. glad you like the progression so far. As for the caps, I have no clue sometimes.. lol.. There were some points where I did caps, and then went back to lower case them, but then gave up on changing them. I guess... my laziness knows no bounds. haha... I will try to avoid that problem in the future.

  • 05.13.2005 9:42 AM PDT
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lol i don't think ur that lazy bt then again i don't really know you do i

but we do think along the same lines most of the time

and wehay can't wait for next stage

  • 05.13.2005 10:22 AM PDT
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Posted by: soulguard
JcHeat; Serpensium_4; scorptank
Thanks gang. As for Will, stage 6 is all about him and Wesley... but as I said, this isn't going to be a spartan story, so you'll only going to see a little bit more of Will. Not really a spoiler, but for those thinking that he was going to stay in the story that might spoil it for you.

Welcome back scorptank. glad you like the progression so far. As for the caps, I have no clue sometimes.. lol.. There were some points where I did caps, and then went back to lower case them, but then gave up on changing them. I guess... my laziness knows no bounds. haha... I will try to avoid that problem in the future.


Well, I don't think that you are a lazy person (or at least a lazy writer) if you look at the length of the chapters/stages(?)
I think that you, Mr_Clark and me have the longest chapters/stages(?) on Bungie.net.

[Edited on 5/14/2005]

  • 05.14.2005 5:42 AM PDT
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yeah same here most pele only use up like one post but you people write over several

  • 05.14.2005 7:44 AM PDT
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Amazing, Soulguard.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I was on a holiday like most Dutchies ;-)

Very cool, keep it up!

  • 05.14.2005 8:21 AM PDT
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Wow!
Very cool!

I like the fact that someone's decided to write about Marines and ONLY about Marines (with a little bit of Will ;-)

Good story, nice characters, amazing plot development!

Keep it up!

  • 05.15.2005 4:17 AM PDT
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good stuff soulguard, good stuff. its just a shame that now you've done a whole fanfic nased around marines, mine isnt nearly as original any more *cries into mug of beer*

but hey, so long as your stuff is good, and people still check out mine (if you want a link just check haloxenon's sig) its all good.

could you PM me when stage 6 is out? thatd be cool.

incidentally i dunno if you got my PM - my comp was acting all screwy when i sent it - but chapter 2 of my fic is now out if you wanna check it

  • 05.15.2005 7:21 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
Blade Runner: #00124A
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scorptank; highland brute
Yeah there is a difference amongst the writers. And length, it would seem, is the major tell-tale sign. Some of the writers who only write one post stories, can do it very affectively, unlike myself I have to write details, which can tend to blow a story up to 2 or more posts alone. And there are times where I feel I didn't write enough detail. But like scorptank, Mr_Clark, Sir Brilliant, and a few others... I like the depth in my stories and this depth means there is a lot to tell.

quilty mark VII; SpecOps Elite007
Thanks guys. Hope you guys had a great holiday and welcome back. I do hope you didn't have too much fun, but at the same time I hope you had more fun then you originally planned. lol.

  • 05.16.2005 6:06 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
Blade Runner: #00124A
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Silky Carp
Sorry silky carp... I didn't think you were writing only about marines?? But don't worry about being original... your intro blew my mind. The suspense you created at the very beginning was a nice touch. I locked myself away this past weekend so I haven't read anything yet, I only checked up on other stuff here on b.net, but I'm on my way there right now. Our stories will differ, I guarentee.

Speaking of beer! What is your preferred poison? I'm partial to New Castle/Yingling/Guiness myself. But I'm not a big beer drinker... me and the Captain, make it happen. haha

  • 05.16.2005 6:17 AM PDT
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Posted by: soulguard

Speaking of beer! What is your preferred poison? I'm partial to New Castle/Yingling/Guiness myself. But I'm not a big beer drinker... me and the Captain, make it happen. haha


I prefer Warsteiner, Hoegaarden or just good ol' Heineken.
(Although some Dutch people might kill me over that)

[Edited on 5/16/2005]

  • 05.16.2005 8:35 AM PDT
Subject: Back to topic? mabe not.
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as I was lying on my bed at the night gazing the stars wondering one thing; Where the hell my roof went.

I am a Zombie.
Proud member of B.net since -04

So how old are you guys. when did this beer talk start.

I prefer Koff, Karhu and Lapinkulta. htose are good drinks. mostly Karhu, its so full, maltbeer. or sumthing like that. if theres something as good as Karhu its propably Heineken.

  • 05.16.2005 9:07 AM PDT