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  • Subject: Path of Reclamation: Level 3
Subject: Path of Reclamation: Level 3
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

I think I may have found out what your problem is... and it didnt take me that long to figure it out. First off, it isnt finished. I know, I know, that isnt very helpful, but its the truth, as far as I can tell. Your chapter has no concluding element, nothing to draw to a close, regardless however much you accomplished with it. You see, while closing in the middle of a combat scene is doable, it takes more than just a ceasing of writ. You have to give it something that will hold the story until you return to the area where those characters are doing those things, and the action resumes. So just keep writing and finish the chapter, draw the scene to some kind of close or other, make the story in this area conclude something within the element so it reads well enough for the reader to give up the tale long enough to say go and see what someone else is doing before checking back with these folks.
Dont overdo yourself, but really- there is absolutely nothing wrong with this chapter. It just isnt finished.
Somehow you managed to leave something out, and that's all.
Give it another run.
: )
~Aardvark

  • 03.27.2007 1:11 PM PDT

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Posted by: Aardvark
I think I may have found out what your problem is... and it didnt take me that long to figure it out. First off, it isnt finished. I know, I know, that isnt very helpful, but its the truth, as far as I can tell. Your chapter has no concluding element, nothing to draw to a close, regardless however much you accomplished with it. You see, while closing in the middle of a combat scene is doable, it takes more than just a ceasing of writ.
.....
Dont overdo yourself, but really- there is absolutely nothing wrong with this chapter. It just isnt finished.
Somehow you managed to leave something out, and that's all.

~Aardvark

You hit it right on the head, Aardvark, thanks! I generally like to leave my chapters with a bit of suspense, but this time the chapter just ... stops. And that's why I couldn't figure out why it didn't flow well when I read it. The end is sorta.. there, but not very well presented.

Thanks, I will make sure that next chapter improves on this. Such small mental things that sneak up on you.. wow.

Glad you enjoyed it though. :D

~soulguard

  • 03.27.2007 2:03 PM PDT
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

(inclines head) Glad to be of service. I didnt know how you would take that response I gave but I'm glad it went over well. Sometimes I say things that I myself would have something snarky to say to... Nice to know folks here have a sense of humor. (grins)

  • 03.27.2007 2:34 PM PDT
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I have to agree on all points this chapter just needs an ending. Great storys by the way loved every one of them. Keep on rollin man

  • 03.27.2007 8:39 PM PDT
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

So are you going to write the ending and just post it or did you have something else in mind?
~Aardvark

[Edited on 03.28.2007 6:21 AM PDT]

  • 03.28.2007 6:20 AM PDT

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Ragnarockfire, thanks.

Chances are I am just going to steam ahead with Level 4, and not make the same mistake.... 4 times. lol. The events from Level 3 will be resolved in the next chapter, but I will also be moving into another side of the tale. Hint... he has retractable elbow spikes.

Yeah, my hints still suck.

~soulguard

  • 03.28.2007 8:55 AM PDT

“But I will for their sakes remember the covenant of their ancestors, whom I brought forth out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the heathen, that I might be their God..."

Argh! Without the Mirratord I have missed your update(s). Plural, that is correct. Man do I have two big Christmas presents to read..... - Thanks Soul!

  • 03.28.2007 2:08 PM PDT

Phoenix is dead, long live Phoenix!
Is it?

glad to have the new chapter.

I thought it was good, but not great.

  • 03.30.2007 3:18 AM PDT
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

Hey, it's sunday. What happened to you guys? I havent heard much and since the Mirratord went down I havent had the chance to look into much. Cant wait for everything to get back on track, would like when Aozora comes back... is the fellow with the elbow spikes an Elite? Seems a bit odd that a Human would have something so...so... arcane.
Dont get me wrong I like arcane stuff, I have a ton of information on the sunject so I can write my comprehensive tales of Beyond the Smoke Curtains dragons and Knights and wars on horseback. Funny how no-one has written a tale of the horse, but there are tons of them about the Knights and cavalry that ride them...
... Is anyone here alive after fridays or is this kind of silence common?
I have a job interview on monday... (fear-induced shudder) my first job, you guys, keep your fingers crossed. Maybe I'll be a Spartan someday!
(Actually I'd maybe more likely wind up Sangheili, cos I'm their Bard and I dont think I can be Human when I havent been Human since 1994, when I became semi-reptillian. So... )

~Aardvark

  • 04.01.2007 2:33 PM PDT
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Posted by: Aardvark
Hey, it's sunday. What happened to you guys? I havent heard much and since the Mirratord went down I havent had the chance to look into much. Cant wait for everything to get back on track, would like when Aozora comes back... is the fellow with the elbow spikes an Elite? Seems a bit odd that a Human would have something so...so... arcane.
Dont get me wrong I like arcane stuff, I have a ton of information on the sunject so I can write my comprehensive tales of Beyond the Smoke Curtains dragons and Knights and wars on horseback. Funny how no-one has written a tale of the horse, but there are tons of them about the Knights and cavalry that ride them...
... Is anyone here alive after fridays or is this kind of silence common?
I have a job interview on monday... (fear-induced shudder) my first job, you guys, keep your fingers crossed. Maybe I'll be a Spartan someday!
(Actually I'd maybe more likely wind up Sangheili, cos I'm their Bard and I dont think I can be Human when I havent been Human since 1994, when I became semi-reptillian. So... )

~Aardvark


actually, I think mr. soulguard is referring to Palab with the retractable elbow spikes. It'd probably be beneficial to you and your enjoyment to this story if you read the first two stories in the trilogy. Just a thought.

  • 04.01.2007 4:48 PM PDT
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that would be rite, to get a better understanding it is preferable to read the others

  • 04.02.2007 2:38 PM PDT

Phoenix is dead, long live Phoenix!
Is it?

not to mention there bloody brilliant

  • 04.02.2007 9:47 PM PDT
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

Okay... sounds like a plan... one problem.
Where do I look for these lost two episodes of the trilogy?
Please dont say FF.net, I cant make that stupid site work right!
~Aardvark

  • 04.03.2007 5:52 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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There's a couple options, Aardvark, I wasn't aware you hadn't read the prior two stories. On my website (place your mouse over my avatar for the link) you will find direct links to each story (meaning they will take you directly to my FF.net page for "Stand, Five Feet High", and "If I Were Your Hero", no searching needed.

If you are not a interested in the direct links to the story via FF.net you can read "Stand, Five Feet High" on b.net HERE and "IIWYH" begins at the beginning of this thread, page 1.

Let me know if that helps. Stand, Five Feet High is the rise of the Grunt king, coming to terms with being different and wanting to make a better future for the Unggoy. IIWYH is the story of the Black Ops, their dreams of becoming spartans, and their quest to help end the war... but there's a lot more in there as well.

Enjoy.
~soulguard


[Edited on 04.03.2007 7:14 AM PDT]

  • 04.03.2007 7:14 AM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
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Rather dead around these parts lately.

Level 4 Update
I took a short break to gather my senses and relax a bit, I've started the early chapter layout for what will be a pretty action oriented chapter (yeah, another one). The first few chapter have been mostly about separation, but the oncoming chapters will be more focused on reuniting. Also, their will be more of the tried and true species debates, as this will not be a completely harmonic bonding. Humanity and the covenant have been at war for 30 years, that will not be forgotten easily.

Also, more details about the Spartan armor updates (as seen in the Halo 3 announce trailor) will be revealed as well. As you know, Rose is hard at work on uncovering more forerunner tech to add to the Mark VI.... i shall leave the rest to your imaginations. ;)

Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

~soulguard

EDIT: The number of Mirratord has been ... mistaken. There are 40 field officers... but there are a total of 100. 40 field officers and 60 command. This change is brought on by the addition of Grunt forces post Covenant Civil War.

[Edited on 04.05.2007 6:20 AM PDT]

  • 04.05.2007 6:13 AM PDT

Best Fanfic Ever

  • 04.05.2007 11:56 AM PDT
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Hey am I missing something about the Mirratord? Also, I am new to this, but the moment I found Soulguard's fiction, I was hooked. I am on board to help Soulguard as much as possible. I PM'ed ya already, but if you would like, I can help you with certain spelling errors I have found to make it even smoother. Here is my question for Level 3. Why are you referring to it as Level 3 instead of Chapter 3.

Sidenote: Have you ever thought about expanding the first book of this trilogy?

  • 04.05.2007 6:09 PM PDT

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Thanks art! And awesome name btw.

Spartan 104, Hmmm, the Mirratord started in the first story, and have been a large staple in all the current stories. The Mirratord Fans started a group here on B.net. It is a fanfiction group, with the Mirratord theme as the ruling body. I agreed to let the group leader use the name, and I joined the group in order to post some stories and to talk to other fanfic writers, as well as read other stories. The group will return once the groups have been reinstated. Click on just about anyone's sig, that posts regularly in my threads, and you'll see the Mirratord link. There is also a link to the group on my Halo website.

I thank you for the help, it's much appreciated, but this is one of those demons I have to face on my own. Nothing personal, as I really appreciate the help, but I write because it is a passion of mine as I strive to become a published author one day, and spelling and grammar is something I must overcome. I know it can get frustrating for the readers to be deeply involved in a section of the story and then run into a grammar miscue. Plus I've found in the past that people eventually drop of the wagon, either because their interest change or they move beyond the patience of Forums.

Thanks Spartan 104, for now just sit back and enjoy. Also, if you're looking for some great stories to read, check out Pwnocchio's story: "Whispers of the Fallen", over in the Halo 3 thread. I don't post there often, but it is a really good read. Also there is the infamous Mr.Clark, who has taken a bit of a hiatus from the Halo forums. His story is well over 28 chapters long and is also another great read, though it is not "yet" finished. There are tones of great stories, but these are the ones that popped into my head at the moment.

edit: I use the term "Levels" cause I'm a bit of an oddball. lol. But really, chapters is one of those words that is often used over and over and over again, and I tend to like to be different. If you check out my "pre history stories" you'll see that I also used variying names for chapters. Though I think my favorite is "Section".

And the first book was re-written on FF.net. I merely added a few more scenes and changed some small points of interests. I part, I have thought doing more with Stand Five Feet High, and most of that will be incorporated in this story. The one thing I don't want to do at this point is change "Stand Five feet high" anymore. The story has made such a lasting impression on the view of grunts, that if I made changes now, it would almost ruin it. Sorta the way Lukas ruined Star Wars for some us fans.

Enjoy, and thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more updates.
~soulguard

[Edited on 04.05.2007 8:39 PM PDT]

  • 04.05.2007 8:32 PM PDT
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Totally agree on your Grunt perspective. I meant no disrespect with helping you to edit. I just noticed that you use fallow instead of using follow and dieing instead of dying. Again, no disrespect. While I will never have the imagination to write something like this, I can appreciate those who take the time to write this. Furthermore, I would love to see these published and had thought about sending you a bound copy of IIWYH as a token of how much this has influenced me. I would definitely say that your ideas have totally peeked my interests. I love the idea of telling the story from Covenant side and the Covenant Civil War. I hate that I am catching this so late. I wish I would have been here from the beginning. I love your character development. The love triangle that is beginning with Mel, Rose, and Eric. Your development of Eric is quiet extraordinary. He is a hero of heroes in my eyes, as is Palab and Simyaldee. They are all worthy advisories. I especially enjoy how as a reader you believe the alliance will hold and everything will work out and within two paragraphs the exact opposite has happened.

Thanx for pointing me in the direction of other fanfiction.

In your first prequel, was the Jacob that you spoke about supposed to be an Israelite and have ties to that group of people?

Hey can I find either of those authors on FF.net?

[Edited on 04.06.2007 7:51 AM PDT]

  • 04.05.2007 9:44 PM PDT
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

When an interest is gained it is "piqued" not "peeked". If you intend to come across as a spelling/grammatically competent person, please dont ruin the glamor by misusing words and misspelling them...
My sister deals with wool- she spins, cards and weaves it on her loom, and "dying" refers to the alteration or introduction of color to either cloth or the raw materials- wool or cotton. Dieing is actually a word, believe it or not.

Soul, thanks for the links, that should help a whole lot. (but binding a copy sounds cool. I might do that so I can curl up with it on a rainy day when lightning makes electronic use a bad idea.)

~Aardvark

  • 04.06.2007 8:41 AM PDT
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Please reference this link http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dieing , or this link http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/die . I cede on the piqued for peeked. Thanx for the knowledge. I strive to learn more and more and have never encountered pique in any of my studies.

Hey Aardvark, do u know where I can find the other stories by mr.clark and pwnocchio on ff.net or any other place besides the forums?


[Edited on 04.06.2007 9:21 AM PDT]

  • 04.06.2007 9:19 AM PDT
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I am a Sangheili Bard.
Tomes of the History of the Mirratord
For the honor of the Mirratord!

Um... actually I'm one of the new recruits around here. I havent read any of either of those two. I guess the answer you are looking for is no. Basically I just follow Soulguard around while scribbling on my own story, Sangheili Polvora. It's in the New Mombasa forum, somewhere, but though I have it bookmarked, I tried to see if I could find it the hard way and I looked through to page 52 and never saw it. So I dont know if you can find it. (shrug) Ask Soul, he probably knows.
~Aardvark

  • 04.06.2007 9:44 AM PDT
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I am brand new as well. I stumbled across Soul's stories and began with the first one and have read all of them. I love them. They are great. I am almost wishing that mr.clark used some of Soul's ideas. It is most unique how they work their FanFic within the realm of the games and novels. I love it and am trying to read as much as possible. I just wish I had been here from the beginning.

  • 04.06.2007 9:47 AM PDT

Phoenix is dead, long live Phoenix!
Is it?

I'm getting annoyed the last two posts I made didn't come up.

Argh.

  • 04.07.2007 7:32 PM PDT

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A bound copy of IIWYH? Wow! That would be quite the endeavor. I have a hard copy of all of my works, but nothing bound.

Level 4 UpdateWell, the editing phase has begun for level 4... the final number of pages.... 18!! Yeah, that wasn't planned, but this chapter ran a tad bit longer then I wanted. Sooo... the effort to cut this chapter in half has begun. I need to edit this down to roughly 12-14 pages. It has a lot of material and I'm sure it can be done pretty easily. This means that I will probably carry the leftovers into Level 5, and that could mean a quicker release.

So, to cut to the chase, Level 4 will be posted on Wednesday, with Level 5 being posted on Monday (April 16). More info soon.

~soulguard

  • 04.08.2007 2:44 PM PDT