- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
here's some of my faves. there's just too many great ones!
Chris: Dad, what are blowholes for?
Peter: I can tell you what they AREN'T for and why I can never go back to Sea World again...
Peter: Oh, you don't need to go to school! You can learn everything on the streets.
(scene changes to two 'gangsta' like guys standing on a street corner)
Guy on Street #1: It's 3:00. Where the hell is Louie?
Guy on Street #2: Well, you tell me. Louie left his house at 2:15 and had to travel a distance 6.2 miles traveling at a rate of five miles a hour. When will Louie get here?
Guy On Street #1: Depends if he stops to see his ho.
Guy on Street #2: That's what we call a "variable".
Stewie Griffin (to waiter): You. Cut my eggs.
(waiter cuts eggs)
Waiter: Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie Griffin: Now cut my milk.
Waiter: Uh,I can't sir, it's liquid.
Stewie Griffin: (slaps waiter) IDIOT. Freeze it, then CUT it. And if you ever question me again, I shall put you on diaper detail. And believe me, I will not make it easy on you.
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Peter Griffin: (Thinking to himself "Don't say doing you wife. Don't say doing your wife.") Doing your, uh, son...
Lois : You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter : Uh, what could me and you do together? Lois, you've got a sick mind.
Lois : Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter : Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.