- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Bungie.net Implodes!
Last night at approximately 2200 GMT (This Reporter must promptly apologise for his inability to understand time zones and therefore is unable to convert to PST). The Zanzibar section of Bungie.net imploded. Shortly after the statistics for Bungie’s popular Halo 2 Video Game were reset. A thousand angry gamers stormed Zanzibar, and the iron girders that support Bungie’s server collapsed and the forums imploded, trapping thousands inside. A huge rescue attempt was promptly organised by members of the “Flood” forum. Unfortunately, these members did little but shout seemingly meaningless war cries and run into walls.
One lucky survivor escaped from the wreckage. This reporter was the first to speak to him:
“I went on the Bungie forums because I was mad that I lost all my levels and I was REALLY ANGRY. So I went on the forums and I was the only person that was angry about losing levels. Everyone else was complaining about the new level system being rubbish. Then there was this earth-shattering creak. Like “CREEAAAAKK-blam!-!!!” and loads of error messages came up. So I posted that I hated error messages, and so did everyone else. That’s when it happened. The forums started collapsing in on everyone. There were hundreds screaming… Then there was this blinding flash and I think I was knocked out… Or I logged out… I forget which one.
Once I woke up, all I can remember is the pain. In the implosion, all of the threads must have exploded, because when I woke up there was a chunk of a thread sticking out of my leg, and it was bleeding. But luckily there was a member of the flood forum there to tell me who his favourite bands are. He removed the shard of thread from my leg and apparently “LEVELS!!! WTF!!!”
Over 300 000 people were using Zanzibar at this point, all but one are missing, presumed angry. Several people from the Septagon are standing on the wreckage advertising vBulletin, and this would never have happened had Bungie done what they had said. Frankly, This Reporter thinks it is neither the time nor the place.
This is Luke Waldock
Giving you the Real Bnet News