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  • Subject: A Look Into The Life Of A Bungie Employee
Subject: A Look Into The Life Of A Bungie Employee

Basically, I make the best topics ever.

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Duardo: This thread is locked for being stupid.
cortana 5 : It's perpetually my time of the month and I'm just grouchy.
Foman: I see absolutely no reason, either theoretical or practical, that this is not a superb idea. Excellent work, my friend.

This is a quick story about A Day In The Life Of A Bungie Employee. Each link is connected to a picture. Please note that not all of the pictures are mine, and some are. Some pictures I edited, and some pictures I made frrom sctatch. All of the facts in the story are true according to Bungie Lore and/or my own experiences here on Bungie.net. Unfortunately the story does not flow as well as I would like, but this is due largely to the post limit and the time it requires to find or create each and every picture, including uploading it to imageshack.
Each employee drives up to the Studio in their own private warthog, custom painted of course. And as each employee reaches the premises, they are greeted with the sweet knowledge that they work somewhere magical. But, as they walk through the front doors, they remember that today is only another day of slavery, as they work toward world domination. They stare into Jerome's deep black eyes and the gravity hammer which he wields. You thought it was only fantasy? You were wrong. If Jerome is having a good day, he will let the employee pass. If the employee forgot the secret password (which happens to be gold fish today) then Jerome assists the employee to the parking lot. If Jerome is having a bad day, the employee dies. If the typical employee manages to get past Jerome, the he will spend ten to fifteen minutes crying over his doomed life. If Achronos finds the employee slacking off and doing nothing, then the employee get 10 extra hours with the Webmaster, supplying him with beer and making fun of Yoozel. Sounds great right? No. The webmaster is often so drunk that he often beats, hugs, and generally harasses the employee. Once the average Bungie employee finally gets to their work, they are so exhausted and tired that they make mistakes (even Bungie employees, rarely, make minor errors.), which we, the common folk, refer to as glitches. This is believed to be what happened to Stosh. After spending over thirty-two hours, twenty-seven minutes, seventeen seconds, and ninety-three milliseconds with the Webmaster, Stosh was put back to work. This is when Stosh accidentally replaced the a 1 with a 2 and caused a major error on Bungie.net. Achronos was close to doing to Stosh exactly what he did to Disembodied Soul. Disembodied Soul used to be an ordinary Bungie employee, until he pirated the source code of the game, and later applied the wrong labels to an entire batch of Marathon: Infinity discs. Sketch and a few other employees then held the Offender inside the Soul Extraction Machine. The Offender is now the Disembodied Soul and is responsible for handing out warnings and blacklists on Bungie.net, a fate worse than death. The Soul Extractor has since been transformed into a rocket powered tricycle for the Webmaster. The one positive to working at Bungie, however, would be Soffish, one of the pets at Bungie, who a loveable little creature that keeps everyone's spirits high. Like the pet rock, Soffish requires no maintenance, except for infrequent changing of the water when Soffish excretes a clear liquid. A little known fact that never ceases to entertain is Soffish's ability to always talk in first person. But for every positive, there must be a negative. Ling-Ling, Bungie's pet dog, or rather pet dog's head, is a constant temptation. It is said that if Ling-Ling's jar is broken, Bungie will produce a sequel to Gnop!. After being stolen once, Ling-Ling is kept in the Ivory Tower. The Ivory Tower is another of the Bungie employee's joys. When Marty is in town, it is the recording studio for every sound in the Halo Trilogy, but when Marty is out of town, it becomes the dance floor for every Bungie employee. The Ivory Tower, Ling-Ling, Soffish, Rocket Powered Tricycles, Disembodied Soul, The Soul Extractor, and Jerome; this is a look into the life of a Bungie employee.Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

Please try to discuss all Bungie Lore as well.
: )

[Edited on 05.16.2009 10:16 PM PDT]

  • 05.16.2009 10:13 PM PDT

no. nonono

very nice, i didn't read all of it cos it was super long but well done, that must've taken some time.

  • 05.16.2009 10:29 PM PDT

Basically, I make the best topics ever.

Feedback!
Duardo: This thread is locked for being stupid.
cortana 5 : It's perpetually my time of the month and I'm just grouchy.
Foman: I see absolutely no reason, either theoretical or practical, that this is not a superb idea. Excellent work, my friend.

Yeah it did...

  • 05.16.2009 10:41 PM PDT

post this in the flood for more replies.

  • 05.17.2009 10:28 AM PDT

█ █ █ █Future Bungie Favs █ █ █ █

The Group of the Future....

My renders
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My gtag is Slain Guardian


If you like what you just saw
and Chris put you in a state of aww
Then subscribe to him
and hit the yellow button
it would really really really mean somthing!

  • 05.17.2009 10:50 AM PDT

Basically, I make the best topics ever.

Feedback!
Duardo: This thread is locked for being stupid.
cortana 5 : It's perpetually my time of the month and I'm just grouchy.
Foman: I see absolutely no reason, either theoretical or practical, that this is not a superb idea. Excellent work, my friend.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This counts as spam and I would edit it soon.

  • 05.17.2009 10:56 AM PDT