Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Flood Funny Sayings
  • Subject: Flood Funny Sayings
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

FINALLY A BREAK IN THE WEATHAH

The Holder of Candlejack

In any city in any country, go to any insane asylum or halfway house you can get into. Tell the worker at the front desk you must speak with Candlejack. Should the worker say "Candlejack?", as he does not understand you, then begin to respond again but disappear mid-sentence, then you too will be kidnapped and knocked unconscious.

You will wake up in what appears to be a temple of sorts. In the center of the structure there is a glowing staircase. At the top of the stairs is a large collection of rope. Take a few strands of rope, enough to be adequate for The Holder of Candlejack, but take too much and the Rope Gods WILL be angered.

After taking some rope, go to the hallway at the southern end of the temple and make your way through it. You will hear the tortured, suffering screams of a thousand kidnapped children, but do not be distracted. When you finally reach the hall's end, you will encounter a man wearing a burlap sack. Even if his face is concealed, you can feel his gleaming eyes and evil smirk.

Slowly and politely hand him the rope, and he will seem rather amused. Ask him solemnly, "Why do they scream?" And Candlejack, the Holder of Candlejack, will tell you in full detail his history, what he does and why, and why his captives suffer. Do not mention his name under any circumstances, or you will suffer the fates of his captives. After his story, Candlejack will give you a small, tied up child that was only recently captured and has yet to suffer.

That child is object 1 of 538. What you do with the poor soul is up to you. It is your de



Yes, I wrote that. It's on the first page of my thread, "Candlejack".

  • 12.21.2009 4:38 PM PDT

Evil, always finds a way!
Gnarl: Overlord

oh thy diddelidoooo oh dear bump i didely love yaaaa

  • 12.21.2009 4:39 PM PDT

FINALLY A BREAK IN THE WEATHAH

Posted by: da5boroughs
Posted by: Gr8 Strippin
I think my brother is a les­bian.


Posted by: Gr8 Strippin
I think my brother is a les­bian.


Posted by: Gr8 Strippin
brother les­bian.


Posted by: Gr8 Strippin
BROTHER L.ESBIAN.



WAT

  • 12.21.2009 4:56 PM PDT

Am i in there?

  • 12.21.2009 5:08 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Hi, I'm an alt.

Posted by: necrophile4life
Necrophilia makes my pants fit nice.

This is pretty much my motto. Y'all know you'll repeat this to someone, some day; having just removed your tickle stick from some unfortunate corpse's hole.
It's normal, you know.

  • 12.22.2009 12:07 AM PDT

One thing that really annoys me is when people put a little squiggly (~) and part of their name at the bottom of their post. I mean like seriously, do you think we can't see your name right above your post? If i ever put ~qwert at the bottom of one of my posts, i want anyone who reads it to punch me in the face right then and there, no matter where you live or what you're doing.

Posted by: Meowth
am i in this thread?


srsly?

  • 12.22.2009 12:59 AM PDT

im i on bungie.net?

  • 12.27.2009 9:00 PM PDT

~

As far as I know, there are three types of people on the flood.
1. People with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
2. People who badmouth people with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
3. Girls who badmouth people who badmouth people with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
So what are you?

  • 12.31.2009 5:57 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Exalted Heroic Member
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

The Code.


It is Unbreakable.

Posted by: Reekhon
As far as I know, there are three types of people on the flood.
1. People with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
2. People who badmouth people with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
3. Girls who badmouth people who badmouth people with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
So what are you?

Wrong.

There are:

Retards
Social Outcasts
Social Anarchists
Children
Bored People
Retards
Metallica Fans
Rap Fans
Fans of Hating Rap
Serial Killers
Retards
Trolls
Bad Trolls
Mentally Traumed Trolls
Goblins
Retarted Trolls
FBI Agents
Bears of the Pedo Tribe
Emotionly Dead People
Emotionly Dying People
Sadists
Sexists
Racists
Retards
Robots
Tracers
Ninjas
Pirates
Foman
Foman's Mum
And More Retards.

There are More, But I'm Running Low on Cognitive Energy here.

  • 12.31.2009 6:06 PM PDT

Cow goes BARRRRK.

  • 12.31.2009 6:12 PM PDT

Here to end the borrowed time you've all been living on.

Posted by: G O R E25
Posted by: Klederson
I need help Flood


You're -blam-ed.


(I think it's funny, anyway)

  • 12.31.2009 6:23 PM PDT

~

and they all find their way into the three categories.

  • 12.31.2009 6:24 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Exalted Heroic Member
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

The Code.


It is Unbreakable.

Posted by: Reekhon
and they all find their way into the three categories.

. . .No.

Those that Fit into Your 3 Categories are Those with Crazy-Ass, Run away Libidos with Every Thought in their Puny Little Mind being Contorted by Their Raging Hormones. . .

. . .Oh, And Those who Oppose Them, Ultimately laying Their Words on Ignorant Ears.

  • 12.31.2009 6:28 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings Happy New Year! Fresh new quotes for 2010!

Happy New Year! To celebrate, a whole slew of new quotes!

I'm going to be going to random pages on The Flood and pulling random funny quotes for a long time, don't know how long exactly, in honor of New Years!

[Edited on 12.31.2009 10:02 PM PST]

  • 12.31.2009 9:53 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

no. nonono

Yay, first quote, but I wasn't the funny one =(

  • 01.01.2010 12:33 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings Happy New Year! Fresh new quotes for 2010!

--------------------------------------------------------------------
|..X..X..............Achievement unlocked.........................|
|....X........1000G - 1,000,000 Repeated Post............|
|..X..X...................................................... .........................|
--------------------------------------------------------------------

http://admin.bungie.net/forums/posts.aspx?postID=13810409

Happy new year to waste.

[Edited on 01.01.2010 3:43 AM PST]

  • 01.01.2010 3:42 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

I DONT FREAKIN ACCEPT CLAN MESSAGES. yes yes my rank sucks get over it i play call of duty more than i play halo

That's a fine how do ya do


-every old person

  • 01.01.2010 3:43 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

I am unable to link my GT due to it not upgrading to an Adult account etc sooooo I'm OranjeboomUK

Posted by: Srg Acorn
China called. They want their wall back.


No they can't its ours now ... and it's...awesome

  • 01.01.2010 5:35 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

I am unable to link my GT due to it not upgrading to an Adult account etc sooooo I'm OranjeboomUK

Posted by: Reekhon
As far as I know, there are three types of people on the flood.
1. People with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
2. People who badmouth people with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
3. Girls who badmouth people who badmouth people with girl problems who discuss them regurlarly.
So what are you?


lol i don't have girl problems and im not a girl sooo number two please

  • 01.01.2010 5:36 AM PDT

Posted by: droppedasababy
Yay, first quote, but I wasn't the funny one =(

You were the first post in this thread of 2010 Bungie time!

  • 01.01.2010 5:06 PM PDT

Posted by: Primordial Soup
Posted by: A Dumb Door
Posted by: droppedasababy
Yay, first quote, but I wasn't the funny one =(

You were the first post in this thread of 2010 Bungie time!


Well I was last of 2009 :P

Conglaturations!

  • 01.01.2010 5:38 PM PDT

Posted by: Primordial Soup
I just realized this thread is almost at 1000 comments!
The post after me is post 1000!

Injustb4post 1000.

  • 01.01.2010 5:40 PM PDT