Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. (Last updated 9/19/10)
  • Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. (Last updated 9/19/10)
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. (Last updated 9/19/10)

Posted by: Gamer Stix
"We have accessed the Human intelligence archives, Google."
"What a ridiculous name."
"They also have a subsection called Yahoo."


Dotes: Recreation of thread, "Tosh.0"
OP:
Posted by: Munchie iZ Pr0
Anyone else watch the greatest show ever to grace the television?


Posted by: stanoy
You misspelled Lost.


Posted by: Maj0r Awesom3
Posted by: stanoy
You misspelled Lost.

If so, then he also misspelled worst, and plague

Posted by: wildnuke
Tosh.0< web soup

Posted by: Rillow
Posted by: wildnuke
Tosh.0< web soup< the internet

Posted by: Maj0r Awesom3
Posted by: wildnuke
Posted by: Rillow
Posted by: wildnuke
Tosh.0 > web soup< the internet> the virtual world of tecnology. > bacon < kielbasa


Posted by: SkeletonPack
Posted by: Sara
MODERN WARFARE 2 TAKES NO SKILL PEOPLE ONLY LIKE IT BECAUSE IT'S SO EASY TO KILL PEOPLE!! ALL WHAT YOU DO IS CAMP IT'S REALLY JUST FOR NOOBS!!!!!!!

How in the hell did you manage to get that username?


Posted by: HaloW121arrior
that's crazy.. READING NEWS POSTS FROM THE FUTURE!! lol time zone's made my day today


Posted by: woooooooo13
Posted by: Thunderbolt101
Posted by: Wizzy Piggy
Its called an opinion

If it isn't my opinion than it is wrong.

This is the statement most of the internet is based on...


Posted by: SkeletonPack
Because pissing off every Muslim in the world is going to defeat a small group of insurgent Muslims in the Middle East...


Posted by: I Judge Bread I
Posted by: I Am Lonely
im a chubby chaser.

12 Pints of beer and I'll chase anything.


Posted by: Rampant Tragedy
Anyone who says "Anyone who says that beauty is subjective is an idiot" is an idiot.


Posted by: RadioactvCheese

^
See, an intelligent people ARE on the Flood.


Posted by: Helveck
Posted by: theHurtfulTurkey
I thought this was some conglomeration of Dr. Seuss and Einsteinian physics.
Time Hortons


Dotes: Recreation of Thread: What is one of the funniest scenes from that 70s show?

Posted by: Ninebreaker999
I liked the part where the show went off the air.


Posted by: the seed
i also liked that part


Posted by: Mike_Bson
Posted by: XTheRedScholarX
Ok I have an over controling mother who Denys when she's wrong. I go to Internet school(alot worse than it sounds) so I don't meet anybody. My mom is a control freak an Drunk and addicted to cigarets father who stole money from me to by cigarets. And I have no friendS .two windy sisters who I have to take care of because mom doesn't want to. Do you think my life is bad?
. . . and on top of that, you were born missing the part of your brain responsible for grammar.



Posted by: TheMouthOfSauron
-I'm slightly psychotic.
-My mother is a temperamental ass.
-My father is always out of town.
-I am an atheist going to a Catholic school.
-I lack the drive to make friends.
-I am forced to go to all my school's football games.
-I am surrounded my idiots.
-Depression and I are very close friends.

I have a great life, yet none of those were lies. Let me explain in a less misleading manner, now.

-My psyche is the way I have constructed it and the way I prefer it to be.
-My mother is temperamental and often freaks out, but she's loving and cares for me.
-My father is out of town because his job, which is high paying, demands it.
-I go to a Catholic school because I am getting a great education.
-People approach me, I don't approach them. They make friends with me.
-I am in the Pep Band, so I have to go to football games.
-I am surrounded by idiots, but I'm not going to complain.
-I used to be depressed for no rational reason.

I can look at my life through either of those perspectives. Both are accurate, but I live my life according to the way which I see it. Be happy.


Posted by: FearlessMagnum
Posted by: Vexomnia VT1
I get up around the same time, but feeling like P-diddy.

before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of juice cause when I leave for mein reich im gonna kill some jews


Posted by: SavageMETISguy
Posted by: SmD x MaYHeM x
Posted by: Stripsearch
No I'm not a redneck.

I slightly resent that. I enjoy hunting and shooting, and I live in the South.


dont worry bout him, he just steriotypes people and assume all hunting and shooting is what rednecks do. personally hunting is part of my culture

just a ignorant ass,ignore it.


Posted by: Elite Mouse
Posted by: Stripsearch
Posted by: Elite Mouse
I consider myself relatively good.

Can usually get three fired simultaneously with a pump-action shotgun, as in, 1 pump per clay pigeon.

I've also pulled off hitting a clay pigeon with a single-six revolver, that is fun as hell, and luckily the pigeons don't break when they hit the ground.

I read this in my head with a real broad Texas accent.

Wrong side of North America man!

Read that -blam!- with a parka and some whale blubber in hand.


Posted by: BlindLuck
Posted by: jjboy84
Some one who always ended his post with yorkie
kind like how TGP always ends his post with TGP.


Ah, ok. Is it kinda like a flood exclusive meme?


Posted by: narphenal
You have to post a picture, so we know whether to fap, or man the harpoons.


Posted by: relliK42
Posted by: Recon Number 54
10,000,000,000 what? Chick peas? Pebbles? Tacos?

Posted by: Recon Number 54
Chick peas? Pebbles? Tacos?

Posted by: Recon Number 54
Tacos


Mother of God, that would be a lot of tacos.


Posted by: The Gun Master
Posted by: Lethal Spaniard
It's so cOLD in here there is mOLD and gOLD painted walls that make me scOLD.

you're quite the bOLD one


Posted by: ULTAMATE POWER
Posted by: XITHAKILLAHIX
Posted by: cyberdemon lll
Posted by: ULTAMATE POWER
Posted by: spiderman2343
Reported for being retarded.
Reported for retard discrimination
Reported for reporting.
Report's for being a reporter that reported a reporter for reporting
Reported for this being pointless.



Posted by: Teh Slender Man
Posted by: jrv2005
Posted by: Tater Salad jr
Posted by: Teh Slender Man
Posted by: Reed6969
U got alot to learn about chciks. They talk alot so i say do it with class, Ugly girls will talk to hot girls
You got a lot to learn about english and grammer my apprentice.
You have much to learn about the English language and grammar, my stupid apprentice.
You have much to learn about English language and grammar, my hypocritical apprentice.
You guys got alot to learn about hate my dumbass aprentices.


Dotes: In a thread about the weirdest thing you have eaten.
Posted by: Valmar
Posted by: Meekalee
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You... Ate yourself...?


Posted by: elmicker
Posted by: Texas Ben
Problem is that if you try and actually educate kids about sex (as opposed to abstinence-only programs), you have certain groups throwing hissy fits. Big hissy fits.
It's not the size of the hissy fit that matters.


Posted by: Leader AleX
Posted by: omg pro kitler
Your retarded
Oh the irony...


Posted by: Rahm Emanuel
Posted by: awsomedude302145
That's where I started ignoring you.


Posted by: AwesomePie
I am a professional retard finder, and my retard counter is ticking furiously next to the OP.


Dotes:[b] From thread: So I was clocked in the side of the head by a belt.
[b]Posted by:
ultratog1028
Must have been a hell of a belt.


Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
TROLL IDENTIFIED


WOOOOOP WOOOOOOP WOOOOP WOOOOP


Posted by: Maj0r Awesom3
Posted by: diadex
that makes literally hardly any sense

That sentence makes me a sad panda.


[Edited on 09.19.2010 9:13 PM PDT]

  • 03.10.2010 12:42 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. (Last updated 10/2/10)


Dotes: Recreation of thread: Wierd Dreams
OP:
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: PHILOSOPHY
i only have wet dreams.


Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
Posted by: PHILOSOPHY
i only have wet dreams.


Posted by: diadex
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: Scatcycle01
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
.....


Posted by: ghostnubelost15
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: Corporate FatCat
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: ferrisbulldogs
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
Wierd dreams

what?


Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
*sigh*


Posted by: Captain Millis
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: Corporate FatCat
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
*sigh*


Posted by: CabKiller
I dreamed that I had to point out to a co-worker that her baby clearly had a lobotomy performed recently.


Posted by: bergXX09
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
.....


Posted by: albinoalpacka
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money


Posted by: precurser
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What?


Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
Posted by:

If you cant beat em...join em.


Posted by: Snyder Pyder
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
What are some weird dreams you have had?


Posted by: Captain Millis
Okay, okay, this is gettin ridiculous now.


Posted by: Scatcycle01
Mosh pit money


Posted by: IBamBi o
Wierd


Posted by: Otterlover77
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
Posted by:
If you cant beat em...join em.


Posted by: albinoalpacka
Posted by: precurser
Posted by: Mosh Pit Money
Posted by:
Cookies?


Posted by: Vadam930
I had a weird dream that an OP quoted the 1st reply to this thread and then everyone quoted the OP.


Posted by: Shadowman235
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ONNNNN


Posted by: PHILOSOPHY
Posted by: Shadowman235
GOING ONNNNN


Posted by: Scatcycle01
Posted by: Shadowman235
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ONNNNN
Posted by: Mosh pit MoneyPosted by: Mosh pit MoneyPosted by: Mosh pit MoneyPosted by: Mosh pit Money



Posted by: Rambo Stu
I open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

And then everyone turned into a bear.


Posted by: n00bt4stic
Posted by: Identity Lost
Better would it be to never exist at all than have to suffer the pains of eternal suffering.
Oh, I get it. Just go have some ice cream and watch a romantic comedy, you'll feel better in the morning.



Dotes: Recreation of thread: Oh Dear.
OP:
Posted by: EuAn1196
It would appear I have become slightly on fire, any suggestions?


Posted by: Garshne
Kill it with....




WATER!

cwutididthar


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Garshne
Kill it with....




WATER!

cwutididthar
I found a water bottle with GASOLENE written on it, I think this should put it out......


Posted by: EuAn1196
AAAAAAGHH!! it burns!!!!!!


Posted by: Cockburnicus
Stop, drop and roll.


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Cockburnicus
Stop, drop and roll.
ok, i'll just roll over this convinent bed of nails


Posted by: EuAn1196
AAAAAAAAAGHH!!! THE PAIN!!!! OH GOD THE PAIN!!!!


Posted by: Garshne
May misfortune follow you to your grave. Which is full of water, ironically. *Keeps digging*


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Garshne
May misfortune follow you to your grave. Which is full of water, ironically. *Keeps digging*
*wakes up in grave* I'm not dead let me out!!!! AAAAGHH!!


Posted by: Scare00
umm umm umm umm umm did down deeper so your on fire then you've got some water to put it out with


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Scare00
umm umm umm umm umm did down deeper so your on fire then you've got some water to put it out with
I still need to get out the grave though!


Posted by: Scare00
umm dig up dig up


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Scare00
umm dig up dig up
*starts digging*


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Scare00
are you there yet
*hand bursts out of grave like in zombie films* nearly there


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Scare00
*climbs out of ground and realises that the zombie apocolypse has happened while he was under*
well time to get to work *loads shotgun*


Posted by: Scare00
*Realises as he loads shot gun that is only the gag bullets*


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Scare00
*Realises as he loads shot gun that is only the gag bullets*
*climbs back into hole*


Posted by: Scare00
*falls back into watery grave*


Posted by: Defect450
*looks around* wtf u talking about *plays moar reach*


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Defect450
*looks around* wtf u talking about *plays moar reach*
*zombie sneaks up behind and bites his head off*


Posted by: Garshne
Ahhhh, the late night Flood. While the mods are away, the Flood will play. >:D


Posted by: EuAn1196
Posted by: Garshne
Ahhhh, the late night Flood. While the mods are away, the Flood will play. >:D
I live in scotland, so its actually mid-day where I am


Posted by: Scare00
*oww*



Posted by: phax0r_hax0r
Posted by: THC Tango
if youve been on youtube lately, many videos have been hacked, including RWJ, Shane Dawson, and Many VEVO videos, who the -blam!- did this?


Posted by: x______Sign Here
Posted by: jtforums
Posted by: x______Sign Here
You should have made your title more clear because some people might confuse it for the popular game made by Bungie called "Halo Reach"



You must lack a cerebrum and have an over-sized cerebellum.

How can I lack a Cerebrum and have an over-sized one at the same time you idiot?


Posted by: lI Maverick lI
Posted by: CrazyCrackerJack
Posted by: lI Maverick lI
Posted by: CrazyCrackerJack
ALL UR FLOOD R BELONG TO US

Maybe the door should hit you on the way out.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of how insepid your comment was.

Then maybe you should get a goddamn hearing aide, or better yet just learn to read smartass.


Posted by: Papa Smurf
Posted by: Master_Chief_112
Call of Duty: Blue Ops, because Black Ops sounds racially insensitive so it must be made blue.

I'll see you in court.


Posted by: TheMouthOfSauron
Posted by: ConformistFTW
Posted by: Procons
Now bungie is losing 1/8 their fan base
lolno
It's true. Procon's mass totals to about 1/8 of the total mass of Bungie's fan base.


Posted by: Flame Killa 2PC
Posted by: Fierce Communist
Posted by: coolmike699
Posted by: Fierce Communist
[quote]Posted by: Recon Number 54
Closest land-based relative to the lobster is the cockroach. I don't hesitate to swat or step on those. Why would I worry about the last moments of my dinner when that dinner has a rudimentary central nervous system?
Oh, and you know what a lobster's favorite food is? Other lobsters. And they don't quickly kill their food, they eat it alive.

How about you piss off mate.

If you come on the Internet, don't expect everyone's response to you claim of "inhumane" to be all friendly. This isn't a land of unicorns and rainbows, it's the Internet.

You act as if the internet is a second form of society. Get over your internet compulsion. I was simply disagreeing with someone. You obviously can't make a basic inference.

Seemed like he handed out some facts and you couldn't refute anything so you decided to just call him names.


[Edited on 10.03.2010 9:50 AM PDT]

  • 03.10.2010 12:43 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. 1,201 [quote]'s, about 649 full quotes.

We believe that the universe is unbounded: this is not the same as infinite: the 2-D surface of a sphere, wrapped around a 3rd dimension, has a finite size, but has no end. If you start off in a given direction on the surface of a sphere, you could return to your start point without having to turn around -- you simply go all the way around. But wouldn't that mean the universe has an escape velocity like the earth?

Posted by: A Dumb Door
[Attempt #3]

Success!


Strike- awwwh. For a Dumb Door, your quite Smart.

  • 03.10.2010 12:44 AM PDT

[Attempt #5]

Foiled.

Bungie2, I hereby ban you from this thread... OFF WITH YE!

[Edited on 03.10.2010 12:44 AM PST]

  • 03.10.2010 12:44 AM PDT

We believe that the universe is unbounded: this is not the same as infinite: the 2-D surface of a sphere, wrapped around a 3rd dimension, has a finite size, but has no end. If you start off in a given direction on the surface of a sphere, you could return to your start point without having to turn around -- you simply go all the way around. But wouldn't that mean the universe has an escape velocity like the earth?

-----------------REDACTED-----------------------

Thx Door.

[Edited on 03.10.2010 12:46 AM PST]

  • 03.10.2010 12:45 AM PDT

We believe that the universe is unbounded: this is not the same as infinite: the 2-D surface of a sphere, wrapped around a 3rd dimension, has a finite size, but has no end. If you start off in a given direction on the surface of a sphere, you could return to your start point without having to turn around -- you simply go all the way around. But wouldn't that mean the universe has an escape velocity like the earth?

Posted by: A Dumb Door
[Attempt #5]

Foiled.

Bungie2, I hereby ban you from this thread... OFF WITH YE!



Cheese and Crackers, the Pirate whacked me again. =/

  • 03.10.2010 12:45 AM PDT

You will be missed.
My YouTube Channel
---------------------------------
"See what I did there?"
"I can hear you caring."
---------------------------------
Dont get too wrapped up in the Internet. It's already forgotten about you.

Much props for all your work, Dumb Door.
Keep it up.

  • 03.10.2010 1:16 AM PDT

Wort Wort?

  • 03.10.2010 10:32 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

RIP - The Rev: February 9, 1981 – December 28, 2009
RIP - Mitch Lucker: October 20, 1984 - November 1, 2012
RIP - Dimebag Darrell: August 20, 1966 – December 8, 2004
RIP - Ronny James Dio: July 10, 1942 - May 16, 2010

"And you'll get this", *lady hands him a contract." Whatta ya think?. Man reads and looks at her, "You THINK I'MMA MONEY MACHINE?!?! That's alotta damn fine print."<-- sad, I know, but I had to say something...seems pointless to go on lol.

  • 03.10.2010 1:52 PM PDT

RIP - The Rev: February 9, 1981 – December 28, 2009
RIP - Mitch Lucker: October 20, 1984 - November 1, 2012
RIP - Dimebag Darrell: August 20, 1966 – December 8, 2004
RIP - Ronny James Dio: July 10, 1942 - May 16, 2010

I coulda just said that you've acquired some good quotes and mighty -blam!- ones. Don't bother saving that one.

  • 03.10.2010 1:56 PM PDT

Dont run, You die tired.

A FTW forumz!

  • 03.12.2010 1:43 PM PDT

____________(˜˜˜||˜˜˜˜||˜˜˜˜˜)_∏______
l | --------____.`=====.-.~:________\___|================[oo]
|_|||___/___/_/~```|_|_|_|``(o)----------<)

I quit

Posted by: Tricky Hornet
A FTW forumz!

theres a trickydonut and a tricky hornet...
WHAT THE -blam!- IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO?!

  • 03.13.2010 9:17 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

I am cagix / xigac.

PSN: cagix
Steam: xigac
XBL: cagix

I love you long time.

Posted by: Tricky Hornet
A FTW forumz!
For Timely Whales.

  • 03.13.2010 9:18 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Posted by: Telec
Remember kids: when Uncle Delta tells you he has sweeties, he isn't lying.

Now get in the van.


The Black Chapter

You know, I never have a clue whats going on in this bloody thread.

  • 03.13.2010 9:19 AM PDT

I'm not a climber Janice, i'm a lobster!

  • 03.13.2010 9:20 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

I am cagix / xigac.

PSN: cagix
Steam: xigac
XBL: cagix

I love you long time.

Posted by: Teh Epic Lawlz
I'm not a climber Janice, i'm a lobster!
You taste good with butter.

Well, that's what I heard, at least.

  • 03.13.2010 9:32 AM PDT

Posted by: deltahalo UK
You know, I never have a clue whats going on in this bloody thread.

Don't pay attention to most of it. Just look at the first posts designated by my OP.

  • 03.13.2010 9:34 AM PDT

"YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!"

in soviet russia halo 3 plays YOU!

  • 03.13.2010 9:53 AM PDT

In soviet russia mw2 owns halo 3... oh wait, still doesn't.

  • 03.13.2010 10:08 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

I just have this insatiable urge to post in this thread...I want to leave the forum, but I can't!

  • 03.13.2010 10:56 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. 1,201 [quote]'s, about 649 full quotes.

Dont run, You die tired.

Posted by: Tricky Hornet
A FTW forumz!


theres a trickydonut and a tricky hornet...
WHAT THE -blam!- IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO?!




Thats a Tricky question, my friend.


[Edited on 03.13.2010 2:29 PM PST]

  • 03.13.2010 2:27 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

Dont run, You die tired.

Posted by: TrickyDonut
Posted by: Tricky Hornet
A FTW forumz!

theres a trickydonut and a tricky hornet...
WHAT THE -blam!- IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO?!


That, my friend, is a Tricky question!

  • 03.13.2010 2:43 PM PDT

Dont run, You die tired.

I'm Dutch, and my grammer is better then most English/American people here.

  • 03.13.2010 2:53 PM PDT