- A Dumb Door
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- Fabled Mythic Member
Posted by: You are JeaIous
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
Posted by: Behind the Visor
Posted by: Not Batman
I want a gif of Korra bending..Over?
Dotes: In a Mass Effect 3 thread
Posted by: john5550
Posted by: Teh Illusive Man
It was pretty disappointing.You're just pissed they killed you off.
Posted by: T1d3
Is it a bird?!
Is it a plane?!
NO IT'S THE BANHAMMER!
Posted by: one rabid bunny
Posted by: S 24993 JAMES
*Pokes link**Throws rock*
Link: *Hisses*
*Leaves thread*
Posted by: DarkSunnyboy1
Posted by: pwnage79
I read that as "tyrannosaurus..." Relevant.
Posted by: catman6
Posted by: R0flc0pt3r
Maybe he was active in the privates... really activeYou really need to reword that.
Posted by: A Stolen Fruit
Posted by: TehTriple226
My first encounter with a giant.The Nordic Space Program is always in need for volunteers.
Asking for minecraft mods to recommend in Minecraft
Posted by: Haloroach
Take Foman
Posted by: Hujgup
Do you know of any original gamertags
Posted by: Halo HAlo_ halo
Posted by: joedanny96
Here, we observe the infamous Halo Community in its natural environment: The Internet.
"Halo never changes!"
"Halo has changed too much!"
"Halo is being too unoriginal!"
Crikey!
Posted by: Black Flag
Posted by: conor mc ireland
Uts ncwe0[IEONEOIGNOQUNGOWell said.
Posted by: SergeantFlood
Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: nk1297
Posted by: Hujgup
Use capital letters, and I might answer your question.YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?nO, LIKE THIS. yOU SEE, op DIDN'T TAKE eNGLISH IN mIDDLE sCHOOL.No. It'S lIkE tHiS, oBvIoUsLy.
Posted by: Adam Jensen
Posted by: Jet Wave
Posted by: Adam Jensen
I wonder.I bet replacements for your organs are...interesting......
I never asked for this.Dotes:In a thread about Organ Donors
Posted by: mubox47
Posted by: P3P5I
Posted by: AgileNaruto001
You only dream that you could run up to a speed of 23 MPH and win countless medals and be set for life with so many endorsements and trophies that you wouldn't have to do anything but what you love, breaking records and cashing checks.Curiosity runs at 13,000 mph.Possibly the best response ever.
Posted by: Dry turtle
Posted by: sytheNsnipe
Posted by: Dry turtle
Posted by: sytheNsnipe
Sits at stool staring gloomily into drinkRowdily breaks glass bottle over headSlumps onto the floor unconsciousAw... don't be like that
Posted by: Cats
Posted by: Vien
The OP is made of a gelatin based product. No i just hate to see people get rewarded for nothing when I work so hard to get what I have. Although I do jiggle when you poke me.
Dotes: There was a fire
Posted by: Edmi Wohusee
Posted by: Vien
Posted by: Edmi Wohusee
Whoever caused it is gonna be fired.
That was the worst pun ever. Oh well, hope things get better, I guess.That joke went down in flames.I thought it was pretty hot.
Posted by: husky1994
I used to think facepalm meant shoving your palm into someone else's face, like the karate move.
Posted by: TFU244
Posted by: randomrosso
I'm sorry, but if anyone is actually posting their exact date of birth online... wow.
Come on guys. What evils do you believe can come of posting your birthday online?
Oh teh nooeeessssss!!!!! I posted my birthday on Teh Flood, now all of them mysteriously know my Social Security number! How did this happen!!!????
Posted by: Recon Number 54
So, let me get this straight.
This scene out of a tacky movie takes place in your life and you're here posting about it on your computer instead of... well?
Posted by: Aang the Avatar
By the nine divines! Did you just call me a nerd, you little skeeverbutt? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the College of Winterhold, and I've been know to cast one hell of a fireball, and I have over 300 confirmed summons. I am trained in daedric warfare and I'm the swords master of the entire Imperial forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will make you beg to Akatosh as I bend you over like a common whelp, mark my words, on my oath as the Dovakin. You think you can come into my mind though this magic device and insult me? Think again,scum.
As we speak I have every assassin and thief across all of Tamriel looking for your initial position so you better prepare for the storm atronach,you drauger. The storm atronach that wipes out the pathetic little husk you call your life. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my dragon shouts! Not only am I extensively trained in archery and horseback riding, but I have access to the entire congregation of the thieves guild, dark brotherhood, Mages college, and untold hordes of deadric warriors, and I will use every one of them to banish you to the plane of oblivion.
If only you could have had the clairvoyance to see what divine retribution your little "clever" runes were about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue you dark skin. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will become the embodiment of Mehrunes Dagon, and open a portal to oblivion the likes of which you have never seen. You're dead, milk-drinker.
Posted by: Chalupa King117
Posted by: WhiteFang0699
n jbuugtcolbijhblk,k npu9g8iigyklcutsdyi6kjbm jmv,.uig;lbj;utpgpguovl khbgQuality band. I love their album "f=8asf-0u54fne".
Posted by: SweetTRIX
Posted by: John Frusciante
Posted by: Xanarxses
Why not embrace it?Uh, how about no? I like friends. I like girls. I've been through the hellhole known as "the shy kid stigma" and I'm not going back. No, not this year! I'm climbing out -blam!-, FREEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIIRD
I should caution that freeing your bird in front of female student is almost a sure way to get suspended.
Posted by: MORTO_hi
Posted by: Redonkulous
Posted by: Facts
Posted by: MORTO_hi
OP vs. the next person who posts.Ok :(Oh my.. If Facts dies, then the world as we know it will end.Facts vs. Secrets.
Damn.
Posted by: Recon Number 54
I have one rule about drinking that is so surefire, it could be considered a law.
Recon's First Law of Drinking: "If you have to sit or lay down, remember that you can't fall off of the floor."
Posted by: Garshne
Posted by: Maiq
Posted by: DeadOrigin
Yeah, I went camping for 5 days, did -blam!- loads of drugs and made myself be completely wide awake for all those days. Now I sleep fine.Why do I highly doubt what you say?Because YOU LIE!
[Edited on 08.21.2012 3:20 AM PDT]