Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Flood Funny Sayings
  • Subject: Flood Funny Sayings
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

Posted by: D PEAR
Posted by: Le Petit Chien
Posted by: D PEAR
Posted by: Le Petit Chien
I'm surprised no one has mentioned little round top. I will be, because Brigadier General Joshua Chamberlain, a native from my state, was the famous general who lead a daring charge down little round top to defeat the Confederates.

And what is more badass than a full-scale bayonet charge?
A full-scale bayonet charge while holding a baby.
Well, they did have to piss into their own guns to stop black powder residue from igniting/exploding. I guess that adds to the badass-ness a bit.
That's what the baby's for.


Dotes: Thread: I'm from Year 2023. He said to ask him anything.
Posted by: Flaming Skullz
Posted by: D PEAR
Posted by: Flaming Skullz
Posted by: D PEAR
Will I ever do anything productive?
Yes, in 2019 you made a sandwich.
Did that sandwich get world recognition?
It made it into the Happy Meal, so I guess that's world recognition.


Posted by: A 3 Legged Goat
Posted by: Tartan 118
What is this 'outside' of which you speak?
Some new form of virtual gaming. The graphics are stunning but the gameplay is terrible. You only get one life and you work so hard for unlockables. Many people just end up cheating instead.


Posted by: night flare
This OP, is the most inspirational post I have ever read in the flood. Your amazing ability at keeping me interested during your post is unchallenged. I can not even begin to wonder the amazing discussion value this thread will have.


Dotes: Both have the same avater
Posted by: Clueless313
Posted by: neoshogun
Posted by: Clueless313
Posted by: neoshogun
Posted by: Clueless313
FPS, and everything would be insanely bland and overbalanced.
For a second there I thought I already posted in this thread.
For a second there I thought I posted in the wrong thread.

For a second there I forgot which one of us I'm supposed to be.
For a second there I thought I cloned myself and then went back in time and relived my life to the present moment and had a conversation with myself.


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: Dr Refrigorator
prescribes Haemogloban-8N. Take once daily until symptoms clear. If taken for 7 days with no effect, see your healthcare professional immediately, as you may soon be unable to move your leg.


Posted by: True Underdog
You can see the future.

That's so raven.


Posted by: Squiggy
All I got out of this post was -blam!- -blam!- -blam!-.


Posted by: black snork
r-ported for evading the bannhummer you blind stupid -blam!- cavity


Posted by: halo3genius
Posted by: black snork
bannhummer
I wouldn't mind if this turned into a Bnet meme.


Dotes: Hottest Halo Character
Posted by: MyNameIsCharlie
Johnson, right after the new Halo exploded. I'd bet he was a few thousand degrees.


Posted by: Recon Number 54
Did you ever notice how the camera in all of their mirror pics is always perfectly vertical or horizontal?

I thought that was the oddest thing, then I realized. The camera isn't taking a picture of the person, it is taking a picture of itself.


Posted by: Bokonnon
Posted by: III H1TMAN III
We all started off as a female baby. That's why we men have nipples. The nipples were already formed when we were a baby.

Later on something would happen that would decide wheter we would be a boy or a girl.

And if you're a boy you still have the nipples. So, technically, we've all been female once. 0___0


Probably many of you already knew, but I just figured it out. Thought I'd let the Flood know too, for the ones who didn't know.

:P
so we`re all l3sbians... hawt


Posted by: Prophet0fValor
Posted by: baklash 1337
I decided to get creative and use quotes from users on a forum as examples of how a well-informed populace would respond to the issue.
That's where you -blam!- up.


Posted by: Melkorpwn
You expected the flood to have an IQ higher than their shoe size?


Posted by: Insane Monx
Posted by: Dualkiller9000
what is on this log you found at the bottom of the sea?
A couple hundred cubic tons of water, of course.


Dotes: Topic: Go back in time and leave a note, max three sentences
Posted by: Sgt Commando
- The future is waaaay better.

- You wont be able to read this for hundreds of years.

- Chances are, youll probably misread this, and use it as some sort of prophecy.


Posted by: snake eater1234
Because everyone on the internet is a 6'8" Navy SEAL bodybuilder who could kill you in over 700 ways with his bare hands due to his master knowledge in every martial art known to man.


Posted by: demonhunter191
Call of Duty: Revenge of the Brontosaurus

3 kill streak: obtain rock

5 kill streak: light a fire

7 kill streak: call in pterodactyls


Posted by: Spartanelete M37
Posted by: Sub Charged
Posted by: Twilight_SparkIe
Posted by: Dark Martyr 117
Learn how to suck your own dick.
>be flexible
>bend over and done
I thought Twilight Sparkle is a girl O_o
That's what she wants you to think.


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: OdorousLicense3
/thread
OK GUYS! The thread is over! You can stop posting now!


Posted by:RageSnipa96
Posted by:slayer2142
i herd sumone died frum it
Well, I am sitting infront of my computer with toothpaste on my nipples.
If this is fake, I applaud whoever created it. I look like an idiot.


Posted by: Insane Monx
A nut in the butt is worth two in the slut.



Posted by: Hujgup
What is your IQ?
Posted by: Galada

Posted by: Hujgup

Posted by: Galada
were is the -50 option?
People who are that dumb don't know how to type.
waht casn i sey. i em a prodegy


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: Anathema
Posted by: Sub Charged
Smash it with a hammer
since when does smashing a computer with a hammer fix it?
It doesn't, but suddenly you're electrocuted and you no longer care about your broken computer.


Posted by: pydgie
Posted by: burritosenior
Posted by: Hujgup
Remember when nostalgia didn't exist? Those were the days.
I laughed.
I almost cared


Posted by: Big Black Badger
Posted by: DAS B00T x2
To be a pilot requires you to be an Officer or Warrant Officer.
Easy peasy. I bet OP is at least an Eclipse in Reach - Warrant Officer was no problem.


Posted by: Unit 076
Posted by: silversleek 117
Posted by: oaklandp8ntbalr
The Flood will give you many different answers, some of which are wrong and some of which are right.

Just do whatever feels natural to you.
almost all of which will be wrong. i know this.
Posted by: razzat
pound her
lawl


Posted by: OdorousLicense3
Posted by: Hujgup
How would you go about defending your house form a Scarab?How has nobody picked this up yet?
Does anyone care?


Posted by: underwaterCOMIX
Posted by: z0mbiebot
Get on your knees, unzip his pants......

...And fix the button. That thing keeps on coming undone.

Also oral sex would help too.


Posted by: Cpt Nicholson
Your are an Idiot.


Posted by: Assassin 11D7
Posted by: BAK3D B34N
Lots and lots of adult material.
Work and business files?


Posted by: SHOOTMEIFUDARE
Posted by: MadMax888
Posted by: RECON828
Making love in uncomfortable places.
Like the back of a Volkswagen?
More like the front. That gearstick gets places...


Posted by: ZYTHON
Posted by: Shadows1907
Posted by: Avatar Korra
It's Duardo's favorite thing to do.
Its also a band
Blacklisting, getting band, same difference.


Posted by: To Infinity
Fat Alien is a raging buffoon

cant argue with kids like that
How many times you gonna hit reply Fat? calm the hell down and eat a moonpie


Posted by: mubox47
Posted by: To Infinity
calm the hell down and eat a moonpie
Best response to Fat Alien thus far.


Posted by: CrazyT
Posted by: MadMax888
Posted by: A2 Wheel Terror
Prove there is no god
How does one disprove the existence of himself?
I'm god, I can do whatever I please.


[Edited on 05.28.2012 8:05 PM PDT]

  • 10.08.2011 1:43 PM PDT

Dotes: Parents put their kid into a dryer
Posted by: funkbrotha10
Posted by: SonOfTheShire
That puts a new spin on child abuse.
*ba dum tshhhhhh*


Posted by: Rahm Emanuel
I'm a strong believer in potato.


Posted by: swvjdirector
Posted by: Ghost 45
This thread is not good. Therefore, it is bad.
Disagree. It could be mediocre.


Posted by: FreedomFightar
Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: FreedomFightar
Posted by: U2 Magnificence
"I am seeing the aura of fires down town... You guys okay down there? Anyone pick up..."
Yep, There are alot of fires, but at least they're not near the ole Fireworks factory
*A flaming meteor falls onto the Fireworks factory.*
OHHHHHH NOOOOO the Humanity!


Posted by: Makko Mace
Posted by: PheonixofLight
I would die for my beliefs. No, I will not state them.
Buu-buut how can we flame you then?


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: ToastyWaffles
Posted by: ALI217
Posted by: A Citizen
Posted by: Qbix89
Yes.
No.
Maybe?
I don't know.
Can you repeat the question?


Posted by: thomas1996
Posted by: Conster 110
I want to join that game, join your tribe, and then murder you all when you least suspect it.
I always do that! I like you! When the world is mine, your death will be quick and just-about painless.


Posted by: Axelord FTW
I'd tell you go back where this should be posted but that would be like asking a Frenchman living in England during the black-plague to go back to Paris.


Posted by: dahuterschuter
Posted by: SpartanMk18
I think that everyone should have at least rifle or shotgun. Would I ever force that upon someone?
Yes, at gunpoint.


Dotes: In a thread bashing feminism:
Posted by: darthnazgul
Posted by: XxLarkiesxX=
I will give you some illustrations of male dominance over women
Oh my. . .in my favourite sport (Tennis)Oh.


Dotes: Man throws guts at police officer
Posted by: Vien
Posted by: wildnuke
Posted by: Vien
The officers said this man didn't have the guts to get himself killed.
Really?
No, it was a joke.


Posted by: Make117
Posted by: KROOKA
Posted by: Lord of Banter
How did you manage that?
Moved my hand upwards pretty quickly and smacked my thumb in my eye.
I guess fapping does make you blind after all..



Posted by: jyrine
Posted by: o_____________o
Posted by: DeclinedA1
How's your dog doing?
Next thursday I am taking her up to the vet to get her examined and then to get a quote on an amputation. Other than that, she is good.
A quote?

I saved 15% on my vet bills by switching to bullets.


Posted by: RC5908
Holy crap. Xbox.com is actually good advice in this situation...my life is complete.


Posted by: xXPorchesXx
Posted by: black snork
you have to figure all the -blam!- out -blam!- you -blam!- you -blam!- you NED!
Who's Ned and why do we need to -blam!- all the verbs?


Posted by: jjboy84
Posted by: joedanny96
Posted by: jjboy84
Hmm, would I kill myself for A million dollars?
No, no I would not.
How about a gillion dollars?
Hmm, would I kill myself for even more money?
Tempting, but I would have to say no.


Posted by: westpointusma15
Posted by: Vandelay16
No, because I would die.
And everyone knows that it's hard to spend $1 million dollars when you are dead.


Posted by: Mac12
Posted by: CrazzySnipe55
Posted by: Mac12
I like this. It's original.
Agreed. You don't see animal versus threads very often.
Yes you do. Every time Marvel VS DC pops up the Flood turns into wild beasts and blood is shed.


Dotes: What's your blood type?
Posted by: Rahm Emanuel
Posted by: X Arcan3 fury X
OP, are you trying to harvest me for blood?
You know it. Got my needles and bags ready.


Posted by: Colorado233
Posted by: destroys u
Posted by: Colorado233
So what do you want us to discuss without this turning into a religious debate?
If someone is talking about gravity, does that turn into a religious debate? This shouldn't either.
But gravity is quite controversial. I personally believe that three billion fairies hold us all down to the ground.


Posted by: funkymonkey506
I stole a balloon...on Free Balloon Day.


Posted by: To Infinity
Posted by: Eric Duffy
I ripped the tag off a bed before.
I did that before...and since then, every night, I listen for the helicopters..


Posted by: Master Glaedr
Posted by: HD PVR
I once took a VHS cassette back to Blockbuster without rewinding it.
You monster.


Dotes: What is the defenition of "Derp"?
Posted by: Ins3ktz
A four letter word

Commonly used by humanity on the planet Earth


Posted by: ICanHazRecon911
Posted by: DarkSunnyboy1
Posted by: bobcast
Posted by: NavG123
Dude... just stop.
Can we get a ban on this guy, stat?
No.
REJECTED!

*snaps*
Ironically, he was the most recent person to ban me.


Posted by: austinrocssocks
Posted by: Gioger
Posted by: Forgewolf
Posted by: Adamal123
It has begun.
The T-Virus is coming
Next thing we know SkyNet will be online.
Then the Covenant invade.


Posted by: Edmi Wohusee
Posted by: xNiGhThAwKx19
Posted by: Edmi Wohusee
Posted by: xNiGhThAwKx19
Posted by: Edmi Wohusee
We could play tag. You're it.
Can you really "tag" me if you're just a construct of my imagination?
<.<

>.>

We could pretend we're playing tag.
But as soon as I leave the room you cease to exist!
...

We could play stationary pretend tag.


Posted by: TheHawk62
For some reaosn I've been using these words alot lately
-blam!-
-blam!-
-blam!-
-blam!-
-blam!-
-blam!-
and also -blam!-

EDIT: Oh god, lol, they're all blammed lmfao.


Dotes: The object to your left shall beat you to death
Posted by: xBADMAGIKx
A curtain?

This is gonna take a very long time. I have a feeling I'm going to get really annoyed before any injury comes close.

"STOP LIGHTLY DRAPING OVER ME YOU BASTARD!"


Posted by: mastesargent
Posted by: iGwinnet
in my honest opinion halo 4 is going to be a HORRIBLE halo game but it'll be a decent game on its own.
May I see your TARDIS, Doctor?


Dotes: Topic: If you were an inanimate object, what would you be?
Posted by: Disambiguation
I would be a beam. I would spend countless days silently holding up your roof, without requesting even a glance my way or a word of thanks in return.

I hate you.


Dotes: Thread title: You have now eaten a radioactive banana!
Posted by: NickIsBest
It's funny because I just ate a banana, put down what's left of the outer layer, and saw this thread.


Posted by: Jet Wave
Posted by: lI Maverick lI
Posted by: A Dumb Door
Holy carpal tunnel syndrome, Batman! We're approaching 100 pages!

Like, srsly. Crap in a handbasket, guize. How did this even get this big? My humble little thread approaching 100 pages... WOW.
Don't congratulate yourself yet, we're not all the way through the woods! Still gotta' few pages to go. THEN we can get drunk, high, party, etc.
Yes, lets get party.


Posted by: D PEAR
Posted by: RedSpectrum77
Posted by: D PEAR
I think turtles could be military animals if they were a bit faster.
Gatling guns coming out of the shell would be sick
Maybe we could give them some jetpacks and control the jetpacks and just fly them into terrorists. Imagine a swarm of turtles zooming toward your military base.


Thread: Give me a seven letter word starting with "u"
(He wanted a new GT)
Posted by: The Hero of Time
ufarted69


Posted by: KILGORE117
Posted by: boomdeyadah
343 needs to rename Infinity Slayer to CoD.
and you need to rename yourself to retard


Posted by: joedanny96
Posted by: To Infinity
Posted by: Crystal Clear
Posted by: To Infinity
Posted by: An monkey hero
You poor, poor thing.
are you on crack joe? anyways, wouldnt matter to you.
You are so apathetic and complacent it hurts.
and you are aiming this comment tooooo? Joe? yeah hes pathetic
Ok, you got me.

Jimmies status
[x] Rustled
[ ] Unrustled


[Edited on 06.12.2012 1:34 AM PDT]

  • 10.08.2011 1:44 PM PDT

Posted by: SH4D0W0733
''Sure it matters who got the bigger stick, but it matters a hell of a lot more who's swinging it.''

Might have mis-quoted that.
I've always wondered what he meant by "swinging the stick"...

Oh my...


Posted by: TedToaster22
>Requires medical attention
>Goes on the Flood

Sorry buddy but this is what Darwin called "natural selection."


Posted by: MarsShadow
Posted by: ultratog1028
how did you take a picture of a gif?
...
No comment


Posted by: AaronG67
Posted by: ultratog1028
I see a ninja in this threads' future.

Posted by: Duardo
Posted by: Dr Ttarpsman
It seems like this ALWAYS happens... I cant blame em though ninjas are famous here but to those that do, you cant ride of a ninjas fame by quoting them no matter how awesome he is....wait are there girl forum ninjas!? Discuss your theories...
This
Are you a wizard?
Or are the mods getting predictable?


Posted by: Bukkake Sunrise
Posted by: Capt Twist
depends on how much domestic violence occured
you'er a moron bro


Posted by: idiotsbuyCOD
My name is indeed a fact


Posted by: mk LITE
Posted by: burritosenior
Posted by: Recon Number 54
Now where did I put that link to my PayPal account?
I heard the moderators can give you Recon if you pay them.
Now whether they actually meant the armor is debatable.
/oriignal
They don't mean the armor, they mean Recon. They will put him in a box and ship him to your door for a low flat rate.


Posted by: Ric_Adbur
In some universe, somewhere, everything is exactly identical to this universe, with the only exception being that one solitary atom is out of place on Leonard Nimoy's butt.

Posted by: The Wo1f
In a parallel universe, no one ever made this thread.


Posted by: EcksBawks_live
In some universe, THERE IS NO THEORIES OF PARALLEL UNIVERSES.


Posted by: NINJA BUNNY 117
In a Parallel Universe, this Universe is a Parallel Universe.


Posted by: ROFL Wolf1254
In another universe, halo isn't a cool guy and he DOES afraid of aliens.


Posted by: Kenny Pwns2
In a parallel universe far, far away, OP is not a -blam!-.


Posted by: xXXNnjaXsniqrXXx
Posted by: Teh_Zoid
Posted by: xXXNnjaXsniqrXXx
Posted by: BarceIona
DrPill?
I'll fix it.
Dr. Phill?

I dunno who that is.

Hey OP, have you heard of this cool guy named Dr. Phil?
I'll fix it again.


Posted by: Zayah117
In a parallel universe our cheeks are replaced by our butt-cheeks
and vice versa.


Posted by: DELTA ALONE
People kissing is a bad influence on children?


Posted by: Omega 343
Posted by: bobcast
That boobcat is such a prick.

Posted by: bobcast
That boobcat

Posted by: bobcast
boobcat
Lol



Posted by: AGLA Froman
Posted by: Broken Grenade
Macbook Pro

Dear God, OP... do you realize what you've just done? Get out of The Flood before the war breaks out. It's inevitable.


Posted by: XSaint VeritasX
Posted by: AGLA Froman
1.) Secure a financially rewarding job.
2.) Work for many, many years.
3.) Obtain 1,000,000 dollars.
4.) Spend it all on hookers.

And numbers 1 through 3 are just optional.


Posted by: ZuneMan239
"I'm a floodian....
Step into our territory and you will be taken away at night while you are sleeping....and you will never see daylight ever again.......YOU WILL BE OUR FOOD!!!......*crawls back into hole*" Jedi 4


Posted by: D PEAR
Posted by: Cheify Weefy 07
Posted by: D PEAR
Best: Shivering Isles
Worst: I don't know. [EDIT] I'll take Weefey Beefy's answer of Makin Day. [EDIT] Chiefy Weefy [EDIT] Cheify Weefy [EDIT] Cheify Weefy 7
Posted by: D PEAR
I'll take Weefey Beefy's answer of
Posted by: D PEAR
Weefey Beefy
This made me giggle.
First time posting on the Flood in three weeks and I already feel like an idiot.


Posted by: ArchNinja64
Posted by: master of ares
Posted by: Egerspurge
Posted by: master of ares
Mature. instead of ma-ture it should be ma-chure.
Who dah farkenheimer says ma-ture?
Self righteous pricks.
I dont know why, but I lol'd at this


Posted by: deadlyfluffball
Posted by: Emperor Gillard
Posted by: Metalignus
Can someone tell me what it is that makes Minecraft so fascinating? It looks dull to me, but I'm not going to judge since I haven't tried it out.
Everyone's world is unique, which means:
Everyone's journey is unique.
Everyone's objectives (well, what they choose to do) is unique.
Every encounter with a mob is different to everybody else's, because of all the different locations.

Aside from the fact that it's your own individual exploration experience, there is a ton of things to be built and crafted.
Possibilities are only limited by your imagination.
That explains why I can`t stop making giant dicks.


Posted by: sytheNsnipe
There are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you don't catch any you're stuck holding your rod.


Posted by: PyschicDeth
Wow, 80 views. We're sure to go viral at this rate.

Viral. Flood. Get it? huehruehrurheuhruehrue


Posted by: PyschicDeth
>>Use gun on head
You have died!
Restart game?
Y [N]


Posted by: MORTO_hi
I have a friend who is colour blind.

He's also regular blind.


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: Behind the Visor
me done you school long time.

long time for doing summertime things like:

outside

go bathroom

rest
Are you implying that people don't go to the bathroom 3/4 of the year?


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: family chief
Best: Red Dead Nightmare
Worst: All hats in TF2
Posted by: family chief
Worst: All hats in TF2
Posted by: family chief
hats
HOW DARE YOU! Hats are the foundation of a functioning society! Without hats, we might as well be dogs, sniffing each other's behinds!

GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!


Dotes: What's wrong with Halo 4?
Posted by: Palien90
TONS OF STUFF BRO!

1. The DMR looks different
2. The DMR's ammo counter is on the SCOPE! (WTF 343?!?!?!?)
3. The BR doesn't sound the same as in Halo 3
4. The Sniper looks and sounds different than previous games
5. Master Chief looks different
6. Cortana looks different
7. The Elites look different
8. The Grunts look different
9. The new enemies look like Transformers and/or Bionicles
10. The loadout system will RUIN HALO FOREVER
11. The ability to call in weapons is a "Perk" and will RUIN HALO FOREVER
12. 343 is milking this franchise by making a new trilogy. They are RUINING THE HALO FRANCHISE FOREVER
13. The Ghost looks different
14. The inclusion of different "abilities" will RUIN HALO FOREVER
15. Having different armor is stupid. This is Halo, not a Barbie game. I want to kill people not play dress up. WTF 343 is catering to filthy casuals and thus RUINING HALO FOREVER!


Dotes: Why does my cat keep sitting on my keyboard?
Posted by: NavG123
I don't know. But my cat does it, and I think it's reallypfjahsu9v8wogyeqfcvijldsbhyoeg8ewvdasjichp98e0TG8RFyeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


Dotes: How to sleep?
Posted by: DeeJ
Close your eyes and think about algebra.


Dotes: Your browser?
Posted by: Google Chrome
Internet Explorer


Posted by: Classic Rock Man
>Be 17 just finishing with high school
>Be a poor-blam!-, can't afford uni
>Plays cod all day
>Army and Marine recruiters always around school
>Last week of school Navy comes
>Still no idea what do after school
>Join up with the Navy.
>Be 23 done some time in Afghanistan/Iraq
>Spotter and I make good marksman team
>Asked to head classified mission to eliminate some sand-blam!-
>mfw its high profile and im selected for my skill
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>Guy on the inside says we go in through the back, not as fortified
>soundsgood.avi
>'Round 2 in the morning we head in
>Everythings good
>Get to inner-door
>click
>oh-blam!-.jpg
>IED explodes, bodies fly back to the east wall
>Team is gone I'm the only one left.
>Severe burn damage to my arms, chest and legs.
>Multiple broken bones
>Doctors tell me I'm going to die.
>Enter coma
>Wake up 6 months later in medical bay at my base
>wtfisthis.jpg
>Men in black suit comes in and takes a seat
>"Hello im Anon Anonson, Anon before I tell you anything I want you to know we did it all to keep you alive"
>wtfisthis.jpg
>look down
>thick black hair on arms, feeling stronger, massive pecs
>Anonson sees the fear in my eyes
>"Its part of our new Gorilla warfare program"


Posted by: Egerspurge
Stop tripping balls and start tripping boobs.


[Edited on 07.02.2012 10:55 AM PDT]

  • 10.08.2011 1:44 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings [What should I do for 100th page?]

Posted by: komark
Garrus was born with low-pixel-deficiency-syndrome. He doesn't like it when people make fun of him for it.


Posted by: x Foman123 x
Posted by: TopWargamer
Porridge rhymes with orange....how come nobody mentions that? So technically....a real word does rhyme with orange.
Yeah! And several other words too!

"Moose"
"Oil Slick"
"Running"

And tons of others!


Dotes: Topic: so my friend stopped talking.
Posted by: DrivingMushroom
Gotta say OP, I'm speechless.


Posted by: underwaterCOMIX
Mel Gibson's -blam!- is the same size as an average lego figure.


Posted by: Haloroach
Posted by: DarkSunnyboy1
Posted by: oaklandp8ntbalr
Posted by: DarkSunnyboy1
Posted by: Avatar Korra
I wish for Stosh to bring me toast.
I want acorns from Achronos.
I want clams from Evilcam
I want a cast from bobcast.
I want foam from Foman


Posted by: EuAn1196
I'm preparing for my 24 hour Bungie.net session tomorrow by having a preliminary 12 hour Bungie.net session right now.


Posted by: Egerspurge
Posted by: Omega Travis
Posted by: Egerspurge
Boy the last time you touched a woman was when you slipped out your mama's cooter.
Please don't put that image in my head, I just finished a Cracked article telling me that chances are my mother shat on me after she gave birth to me...
YOU AND YOUR MOTHER ARE POOP PARTNERS! REVEL IN YOUR POOPY GOODNESS!


Posted by: Omega Travis
These things happen. The trick is to leave messages with nothing but heavy breathing.


Posted by: DarkSunnyboy1
OP makes those good goats go baaah.


Posted by: Coxx153
Posted by: A Stolen Fruit
There once was an ugly barnacle, he was so ugly that everyone died.

The end.
Brilliant literature. I love the use of the suspension on the first comma, only to be resolved in a completely different manner.

At first I was thinking, "Where could this ugly barnacle be going? Could he be about to embark on a journey that is a completely character changing event? Will he meet a girl perhaps who can show him that looks aren't everything?"

Then however, I read the next line and was completely bewildered. A barnacle, that was so ugly, that everyone died?!

The conclusion also had me at The. Many writers try and draw out their epilogue to explain the aftermath of the story to have some closure. Yours on the other hand is snappy and sweet. I love it, love it love it.

Is there going to be a sequel?


Posted by: Lifts Her Tail
Posted by: evnted
Put it back in the fridge and eat it when it's not 4 in the morning.
He can eat bacon whenever. Bacon does not care for the time.


Dotes: Subject: Where did the universe come from?
Posted by: CIint Beastwood
Well, when a daddy universe and a mommy universe really love each other...


Posted by: x Foman123 x
Have you tried static electricity? Rub your head on a wool sweater, and then get your nose real close to the computer until you get a painful shock. Repeat 4 or 5 thousand times and the computer might turn on. Or it might not.


Posted by: petitminou
Posted by: A Stolen Fruit
My Cat.

I can't believe you don't have that as an option in your poll OP.
Gotta know how to make that kitty purr


Posted by: Hoggs Bison
Posted by: SonOfTheShire
Posted by: Borderline5440
Those people are dumb. Mass-media sports are just another distraction.
A distraction from... what, exactly?
Non-mainstream sports. Vinyl frisbee, the running of the baristas, etc.

You've probably never heard of them.


Posted by: FUNKY B0B
Posted by: Xeno Prodigy
"After an hour the dog nosed the man's gaping abdomen, then began pulling out intestines and spleen and liver and gnawing on them, all the while studying the man's face. 'AAAAAAUGHHH!!!' said the man. 'AAAAGGHH!!!'"


Posted by: one rabid bunny
Posted by: A stupid game
I want to die now.

I hope you're happy.

My -blam!- brain can't take more stupidity or i am gonna go insane.
You are now insane.


Posted by: x Foman123 x
Posted by: DillyDawgDillon
Posted by: RampantAssass1n
Posted by: The Master Troll
Posted by: Haloroach
LAMBENT
What happens when a nerdy biology story meets a group of gamer nerds.


Posted by: petitminou
lulz, you want me to decide on you jacking it?

Stay classy, Flood.


Posted by: ferrrari
I shall use skyrim to show how old this is.

Elder dragon
Ancient dragon
Legandary dragon
Alduin
Your news.


Dotes: What annoys you the most?
Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: CabooseNoLike1
Ignorance.
Hypocrisy.
Retarded people in general.
And you're on the Flood...


Posted by: Tibetz
Gangs generally exist as a group of people who perform organized crime. Gangs that don't perform criminal activities are known as "friends".


Posted by: Methew
They need to make a thread on 4chan.

"Dear members of 4chan, Anonymous

In an effort to combat terrorism, we would like you to troll the -blam!- out of these websites."


Posted by: jjboy84
What in the -blam!- is with the flood and sexing up their sisters today?


Posted by: P0150NP13R0P4WN
Posted by: wildnuke
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prevent itself from getting slaughtered by KFC.
Like KFC uses real chicken.


Posted by: GlassesGuy 904
I don't like any of that stuff, but hey. It's my opinion. No worries.

Oh wait, this is the internet.

ANGERRAGEHATREDTROLLINGBLARG


Posted by: AaronG67
Posted by: MET Rx
News flash; You're High School education is irrelevant in life.
Oh god my sides.


Posted by: AutobahnRacer
Posted by: Munitions lll
Anne Hathaway has super average features
She's believably good-looking.


Posted by: coolmike699
Posted by: JacobTheGreat2
Submarines are flammable?
Apparently, they are.

Who would have thought that the most dangerous place to have a fire is under water?


Posted by: ROFL Wolf1254
I hope that he doesn't think condoms are too mainstream...


Posted by: Slayer1878
Posted by: Haloroach
Posted by: TheManliestMan
Some people say that in order to achieve maximum combat effectiveness, they need to get into the "zone". Sir, I live in the zone.
Pathetic.

I am the zone.
So......that other guy lives inside of you?


Posted by: Deloriang9879
Posted by: Lethal Rads
No one has a suggestion. I'm 18 so I can't buy a pistol
But you can buy a high powered assault rifle capable of causing mass destruction?

/flawlesslogic


Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: Neanderthal 487
Edit.
Best post evar.
Have this medal.


Dotes: Subject: Describe your room
Posted by: Avatar Korra
I see some walls, and some ceilings. Wait! Just one ceiling.


Posted by: oaklandp8ntbalr
Your mother. She is in it.

Naw, just kidding. It's a bit small, actually.


Posted by: Papakonstantino
bodies... bodies everywhere.


Posted by: SergeantFlood
Trolling seems required here.

I prefer to hold my toaster at gun point while banning soil from the United States.


Posted by: JMcDon15
I never met her. My mother died before I was born.


Posted by: catman6
Posted by: Hujgup
Posted by: underwaterCOMIX
I died because_______
(a) Lag
(b) Sun was in my eyes
(c) something distracted me
(d) The guy who killed me is a hacker
(e) The guy who killed me is a no-life

(f) Someone walked in front of the screen
(g) the other guy's gun is OP
(h) I was distracted by how awesome I am
(i) Camper

This is the ultimate list of FPS multiplayer excuses.


Posted by: awesomesauce46
There's actually a city full of tiny people inside your body. In your nose, there's a death camp for the tiny people, and whenever you get a nosebleed, it means they're preforming a mass execution.


Posted by: A Broken Lamp
Posted by: deadlyfluffball
Posted by: A Broken Lamp
Posted by: hisfamily
Getting laid by the zombies.
How horrifying

Necrophilia is bad kids
Unless the bodies are still warm.
Then it's all good with me


Posted by: Rabid Grunt 3
Posted by: The Yeti
I was at work, so I missed the entire thing :(.
No TV's in Tibet?


Posted by: Darkside Eric
Hey, I know you raised me
And this is crazy
But Jesus Loves me
So tolerate me maybe?


[Edited on 07.28.2012 8:14 PM PDT]

  • 10.08.2011 1:45 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings *Back online, Epic Thread section moved*


Posted by: Jet Wave

Posted by: OfTheBloodguard

Posted by: Jet Wave

Enough to be in the position of a missionary.
Ah, but is he cleared to operate in the Eiffel Tower?

Only if he likes being on the top of his game.
And can do it between the hours of 6-9

  • 10.10.2011 12:59 AM PDT

Posted by: AngryBrute1
Oh yeah, since somebody does not believe what YOU believe; that makes us vapid...
I cannot grasp that what you call "Something happened to nothing, and that nothing became something, and it was smaller than than a period."

Posted by: A Dumb Door
Yadda, yadda...
Ears of War
Next Pandemic
[url=www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=66533244]WTH Recon?[/url]
You derp'd this link, door.

  • 10.10.2011 5:17 PM PDT


Posted by: Wikked Navajoe
Posted by: A Dumb Door
Yadda, yadda...
Ears of War
Next Pandemic
WTH Recon?
You derp'd this link, door.
Whatchou talkin' 'bout?

Also, my computer is starting to omit the http:// part of urls lately...

  • 10.10.2011 7:51 PM PDT

http://www.maa.org/devlin/LockhartsLament.pdf

man you know me

Holy crap Door


I can't believe this thread is still going.

[Edited on 10.12.2011 6:10 AM PDT]

  • 10.12.2011 6:10 AM PDT

Posted by: Maybe You Will
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation, a guy sticks his location into a girl's destination to increase population for the next generation. Do you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

Posted by: Cahl hith
How the hell can you guys love the environment? YOU KEEP EATING ALL THE GOD DAMN PLANTS!


Posted by: it1345
Holy crap Door


I can't believe this thread is still going.

For a brick, it's flying pretty good.

  • 10.12.2011 3:13 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings

MAGIKZz v1 forge cafe designer
steam account: sgtbearcat
EMILE'S HELMET

wowowowowowowowowowowowowow longest forum ever just dont get it locked by a modirator !

  • 10.15.2011 4:41 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Honorable Heroic Member

NOT INTO THE LONG GRASS!

http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=66800944

Epic thread is epic

And I was part of it! WOOT!

NOT INTO THE LONG GRASS!

  • 10.15.2011 6:00 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings *Back online, Epic Thread section moved*

I'm The Batman.

Wait, i need to find the threads they are from now.

[Edited on 10.16.2011 8:04 AM PDT]

  • 10.15.2011 6:18 PM PDT

Posted by: Sadiztik Wolf
Posted by: Deranged Cook1e
Portal 2 was terrible IMO. Same as Portal 1. Ill be playing Gears 3.
Posted by: Deranged Cook1e
Portal 2 was terrible IMO. Same as Portal 1.
Posted by: Deranged Cook1e
Portal 2 was terrible IMO.

Burn. In. Hell.
In fact I'm gonna burn your house down. With lemons.
--------------------------------------------------------
*Title Of Topic*

Where is the best place to be stuck with a killer?


*Rappels through window*
The Batcave... while Batman's there.
I don't fully understand... Perhaps pressing the quote button, or linking me to the actual post will help?

  • 10.15.2011 9:31 PM PDT

I'm The Batman.

http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=57367463&p ostRepeater1-p=1#57367575

8th post down.

Can't find the other one. I hope you find it as funny as i did.

  • 10.16.2011 8:11 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Ive got a quote for you.

"We never grow up, we just learn how to behave in public. Also, i heard babies taste nice in chocolate sauce"

  • 10.23.2011 9:42 AM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings. (Under construction)
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

meus amigos dos xbox me falam que existe um flood no halo reach em uma das fases mas eles nao querem me contar e ja estou suspeitando que seja mentira alguem pode me dizer se existe ou nao um flood no halo reach?!

  • 10.27.2011 8:38 AM PDT

Check out my youtube channel. http://www.youtube.com/user/ultratog1028


Posted by: spartan117sky7
meus amigos dos xbox me falam que existe um flood no halo reach em uma das fases mas eles nao querem me contar e ja estou suspeitando que seja mentira alguem pode me dizer se existe ou nao um flood no halo reach?!
Flood no hablar espanol.

  • 11.02.2011 5:14 PM PDT

win

he originally wrote meter instead of meteor

  • 11.04.2011 4:15 PM PDT

Posted by: krisman123123
I find the lack of the updated epic threads section disturbing...
I can only put what I find. I don't see everything personally, and I get a lot of content from people elsewhere. If I don't find it through either of these methods, it can't be added to the list. If you have a thread you'd like me to add to the list, kindly PM me or post it in this thread.

  • 11.23.2011 9:48 PM PDT

Giver of love and witty comments

Don't live life, because you don't have one...

  • 11.23.2011 9:49 PM PDT

I'm going to invade your heart like a barn swallow high on milk chocolate and grandma love.

Fairness is only possible within the limited powers of man. Elsewhere, there is only chance.

Thus I refute thee.

Dumb Door! Epic Thread Section!

Anybody remember me?

  • 11.29.2011 6:18 PM PDT
Subject: Flood Funny Sayings *Back online, Epic Thread section moved*

Check out my youtube channel. http://www.youtube.com/user/ultratog1028


Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: HC Swat Is Back
Posted by: Recon Number 54
http://tinyurl.com/l44baf
Tiny url? Me no trust..

If it isn't safe, I will ban myself.


Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: NintenToad64
Even though I think recon's an asshat, he brings up some good points in the OWS debates.

Geee. Uhmmm, thanks?


Pick your favorite quote from this topic. Several great ones.

How do I permaban myself from these forums?

One of my finer moments.

How to be pro at online chess.

[Edited on 12.05.2011 2:53 PM PST]

  • 12.05.2011 9:28 AM PDT