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Posted by: Sparbiter117
I think Master Chief went back in time, killed Hitler and Einstein when they had lunch in Munich in 1978, seen HERE and then jumped on top of the Eiffel tower in order to harness its energy to destroy the Covenant. Once on the top of the Eiffel tower though, he encountered a problem, time had been altered by the events in 1978 so the Eiffel tower was never given to the French by the British in 1999 (as a thankyou for helping them in the Gulf War in 1645).
This caused a Grandfather paradox whereby Master Chief was in fact his own son, daughter, cousin and pet dog Rupert (seen HERE. The covenant used this paradox to send the Arbiter back in time to protect John Connor, who is actually Master Chief (this is why he is called John and why he is a supersoldier, he wanted to protect himself by becoming the very supersoldier that intended to kill him in Terminator 2). When the Arbiter came back in time though, he discovered he had accidentally gone into the time machine with a fly and now looked something like this. This hindered his progress, but allowed him to begin a singing career under the pseudonym 'Pink'.
Once the Arbiter discovered the whereabouts of John, he had already build an Eiffel tower of his own and was prepared to destroy the Covenant army in the futurepast on Reach. John went forward in time only to discover that Cortana had become a jelly bean (The blue one on the far right of this photo) and that he, himself had reverted back to a child. From here, he continued this mission along with the accompanying mission of puberty (all over again). The Arbiter couldn't stop him in time and he destroyed the fleet with the Eiffel tower gun he created back in time. This stopped the invasion and allowed him to return to his life as an Italian plumber.
From here, it is all fairly simple math to get to where Halo 3 ended and where (from this point) Halo: Reach begins to end Halo 2 during Halo 1 while Halo 4 was happening and while ODST will be starting two weeks ago.
Mine was more serious than the OPs...
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