- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
This is a new series im starting and would like some constructive criticism. Its the first draft of it, so it still needs some work. I decided to refer to the main character as "He" or "Sir". Let me know what you think and where I can improve. _____________________________________________________________ _______
The target was insight. Him and his crew of 4 ODSTs were to capture the flag, as a part of a training simulation. They were pinned down in a stone bunker on the training field. The field was empty, besides for a few slabs of stone sticking out in the ground, and bunkers at each end. Their mission; extract the flag and report back to the bunker.
"Connors, I want you and Marshall to toss a fragmentation grenade at "Slab Alpha" then make a dash for "Slab Bravo". Cover each others backs, Understood?"
"Yes Sir!"
He watched as his plan fell into place. The marines guarding the flag, took the grenade blast as bait. Two marines hopped off the stone platform, and crept up to the slab only to find nothing. He let out a small laugh. Connors and Marshall made it into place.
"We've got nothing" Radioed the Marine, to his leader.
"Find them!" yelled the Lieutenant over the radio.
"Time to move" he said. "Connors, Marshall, do you read?"
"Affirmative"
"Me and Stomek, are going to move in on the objective and Hanski is going to make a run for cover at "Slab Charlie". I'm going to need a diversion"
"C4 Charge?" asked Marshall
"You know me to well." He said
Connors launched a C4 charge over towards the marines and the objective. The marines
ran back towards the objective as the first charge blew up.
"Now!" He yelled.
Hanski made a dash for "Slab Charlie", while he and Stomek crept towards the objective. Taking covering behind anything they could.
"Ignite charge #2"
The charge blew up, knocking all the marines off the worn down platform.
"Regroup, at "Delta Wall"" He said.
The ODSTs moved in towards the wall surrounding the objective. There was only one thing left to do. Extract the flag. The marines moved in close surrounding the flag. They weren't about to be defeated just yet. The Lieutenant popped a bubble shield.
"Guns Drawn Marines!" the Lieutenant bellowed.
He took a glance around the training field. It was torn from the explosions and the previous simulations; this was one of the last simulations to be run. Most slabs reduced to rubble. All that remained was the fortress like platform, a couple slabs of stone, and the bunkers.
"Let's light this place up! Toss smokes!" He said.
As the ODSTs drew their smoke grenades, the Siren rang. Play time was over.
"Let's go!" He said.
[Edited on 07.01.2009 1:34 AM PDT]