LOOK OUT FOR THE ROFL FRAMES OF DOOM!
Hello. I am a big Halo fan. Recently I decided to start writing a fan fiction. I am around 30 pages in. However, since I have not read the books in a while I'd like you to correct any errors you may find. If you find one, post below. I appreciate it. Give me feedback too, will you?
Thanks.
I'm not going to real too much, so I'll post the prologue and the start of chapter 1. I won't post it all until I am finished.
Operation Pink mist - written by Daniel A. Bolstad.
Prologue
- Last thoughts of private Pat Sajak, third grade. Defense of civilian planet Eridanus II, 2530, Eridanus system -
This is what I'd prepared for. This is where 10 years of training would pay off. It was cool and foggy. The sound of gunfire echoed, even before the battle. Was it my imagination? I felt that I could take on the entire freak armada by myself. Then again, what made me different from the marine next to me? Luck? Hell no. -blam!- it! I don't want to die, but if I had to, this sure as hell would be the way for me to go.
Dying as a hero defending Eridanus II. Yes, that would be the title. It's a shame that I wouldn't be able to witness my family being proud of me.
Heck, what choice did I have? Die fighting for Eridanus or die running from Eridanus.
The fog was thicker then ever, but blue lights were shimmering even through the fog. Had the covenant defeated our first barricade so quickly? Scorpions, pelicans and even a naval crusier. Could the gunfire be from the few minutes where a thousand men and women had fought and died?
I leveled my standard issue assault rifle. I let the years of training kick in. I checked that everything was in order and shouted to my superior sergeant, Thomas "Bricks" Jonathan Jackson. "Hey, uh... Bricks - any orders?"
"Yes, Pat! Shoot!"
I widened my eyes. Two-three thousand covenant troops lead by elites in golden armor closed in on our position, revealing themselves as ghosts through the fog. Radars had been knocked out by orbital bombing just a few hours ago and other supplies had been cut so we couldn't see them coming. The elites were followed by hundreds of Jackals hurtling behind shields. Their vulture like faces snapped to attention and they started charging their plasma pistols. Overhead were Banshees. Jet fighters for the covenant.
"Shi..." - I ducked behind the concrete barricade just in time to avoid a shimmering green glowing blob melting whatever stood in it's way. Thousands more passed overhead seconds later. "Command? Command, do you read?" They are more then we thought! Thousands more! There's no chance to hold 'em! We'll have to pull back! Do you copy? I repeat, do you copy?"
Static, and static only. I rolled around to grab the Assault rifle, when all my worst fears came to life... A kilometer long covenant destroyer hovering inside the atmosphere. They were going to glass the planet. These waves of soldiers were just here to clean up. A Banshee flew overhead and dropped a superheated plasma rod. The green glowing glob closed in 500 meters a second. A searing heat burned through my skin. Then black. Darkness.
Chapter 1
Aboard shadow of liberty, class III stealth cruiser, hidden in the debris field around Eridanus II, 2547.
Captain Liam Carver stared in disbelief out the view from his NAV window. How could it have happened that the covenant almost drove the human race extinct?
"La'Kisha - any life form readings?"
"No sir," the holographic AI replied. "But the surface temperature is eighteen hundred degrees, you can't la..."
"I don't intend that, La'Kisha. Bring me closer to the surface. Take me to the skeleton of that burned up covenant cruiser"
He pointed to a monitor displaying the surface. The covenant had carpet-bombed the entire planet.
"Keep me at a distance where the radiation won't be an issue. Send a droid into the skeleton and see what it can recover."
"Aye aye, sir."
"La'Kisha," he said talking slightly lower - "it's desperate times. "We have to try and recover anything that may be of use - a covenant planet, Intel - anything."
"I understand, sir - there is a risk that the radiation may act as an electromagnetic pulse. We may loose contact with droids... and the only droids we have left are carrying Havoc nuclear bombs. If we have an accidental detonation the chance of our position being revealed is -"
"I'll take that risk, La'Kisha. Disarm the droid as best you can and send it off."
"This requires precision - flying inside a cruiser," she said while glaring at the monitor displaying the used-to-be organic shaped cruiser turned into a peace of molten black metal. "It will need to be manually controlled into the ship. The database says that the only person aboard who qualifies for this is an engineer called Darren Christopher."
"Thank you, La'Kisha." Carver turned on the public com. "This is Carver. Darren "Daring" Christopher, service tag 0112583 report to the bridge ASAP."
**
A marine sitting in the hangar bay, Neal, turned around just in time to see Darren walk through the hangar door. "Hey, Darren - what's up?"
"I'm going on a high-risk op that may reveal our position to the covenant."
"Yeah, I heard that part" he said with a southern accent. "Y'know - they should get one of them, um, Spartans to do it. I heard they are immortal with the reflexes of a panther."
"No way man, why aren't they here now to save our sorry asses. They are only a myth to boost moral. - Where were they when millions of civilians..."
Darren and Neal looked out the bay viewport towards Eridanus II. The surface was burned, and had an eerie red glow to it. They went silent for almost a minute.
"Alight bud. Be strong and silent. Don't screw this up."
"I'll screw up just for you." Darren said - and a grin formed on his face.
"Take it easy." Neal said and smiled.
Darren walked out, and used his keycard to pass through various doors and hallways - Finally he entered a high-security room containing numerous control panels, boards and monitors. They were accompanied by a giant window.
"Darren Christopher, 0112583 - Operation Tailwind" Darren said and saluted.
"Ah, yeah!" a person sitting by the control boards said without even turning around. "You're the guy driving a nuclear droid on a recon mission. Everything is set up for you."
An announcement sounded over the speaker. "Droid launch in T minus 5 minutes - I want everyone on their stations, pronto!"
Darren took a seat, and rolled on his chair from one computer to another, turning various switches and knobs. He finally came to a stop in front of a shimmering green screen displaying a three-dimensional picture of what was in front of the droid, a sonar screen - like a submarine would have.
There was a moment of static before captain Carver's voice sounded over the speakers again - this time only for the control room. "Darren, precisely controlling a droid is a job for five men, and the help of a hundred more when attempting to keep it from exploding. Are you sure you can handle this?"
Darren picked up his com radio and replied "Yes sir."
"T-minus 1 minute and counting."
He looked towards the planet surface. He couldn't believe that it used to be green and blue.
"T-minus 10 seconds and counting... 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1, droid is launched."
The green sonar screen crackled slightly, as a result of the electromagnetic pulses being emitted.
"Havoc recon droid is on course 0-5-2. Contact is weakening" The other person in the control room said.
Suddenly everything in the ship blacked out and a light ten times brighter then the sun blinded them.
"Did we just have a detonation?" The person said.
"...What the? - No, uh..."
"Tony."
"Ok, Tony -" Darren continued. - "It looks like a slipspace rupture. The pulse has rendered all the equipment aboard useless. The nuke didn't detonate though."
Tony was about to say something when he was interrupted. A covenant assault carrier exited slipspace and came to a halt. Darren and Tony stood and glared out the polarized window, both speechless. The lights started blinking on, and every peace of equipment started working again.
"Cave, this is Darran! Re-arm the nuke! It is INSIDE the vessel"
---I think I'll cut there. Thanks for reading. ---
[Edited on 07.04.2009 10:36 AM PDT]