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  • Subject: conspiracy-a story by soren211
Subject: conspiracy-a story by soren211

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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hello,i know what your thinking.it's another story about a spartan who saves something or another.but this is not that story...everybody has heard the story about how the spartans disappeared.but that was a conspiracy.see lord hood ordered every spartan to be left on reach.
master chief was in on all of this and the ai cortana gave away the coordinates to the Covenant
so they can blast whats left.how do i know this. because i am one of the 200 spartans who servied the attack.i am sam or spartan 329
this well be my journial until i die.

[Edited on 07.22.2009 11:07 PM PDT]

  • 07.22.2009 10:13 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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i well wright more later.

  • 07.22.2009 10:14 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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day38 janurary1,2536
my first day wrighting in this journial.most of the spartans die form the cold.reach is cold in the winter. it reaches -39 degres ferinheight.now thair is just 179 of us now.we are now burning the dead .ill miss my little brouther.

[Edited on 07.22.2009 11:09 PM PDT]

  • 07.22.2009 11:03 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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day47 i forget the date
we have found a destroyed base.we also found 3 workin wrathogs.we are moving again.we must keep moving or the lost elites will find us.

  • 07.22.2009 11:46 PM PDT

Does anyone even read these?

Best. Story. EVER!

Keep it up, I'm loving it!

  • 07.23.2009 12:24 AM PDT
  •  | 
  • Exalted Legendary Member

Yay! I'm a troll!
Posted by: Trenty
Trolls are insecure about their own pathetic lives that they act cool behind a keyboard.
Go back to being a failure kid.

How can you forget the date? The last entry was 9 days ago.
Date = Jan 10th

Pretty, um... snazzy story though.

  • 07.23.2009 1:30 AM PDT

Really....deep.

  • 07.23.2009 4:35 AM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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thanks but im not sure how reach really is like so most of the winter stuff is made up

  • 07.23.2009 5:32 PM PDT

Try reading the book.

By the way, I'm sorry to say I was being sarcastic. It was pretty bad mate. Make it longer, more descriptive, and worth reading.

  • 07.23.2009 5:39 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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Posted by: JMO 137
How can you forget the date? The last entry was 9 days ago.
Date = Jan 10th

Pretty, um... snazzy story though.

sorry about that i just wanted it to be really deed so iput that still sorey:,{

  • 07.23.2009 5:43 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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day60
the lost elites i once talked about have found us and killed 8 of us.we were using weapons we could find to portect us but we just ran out of ammo.if your are wondering about the elites they are elites gone rampent they are elites lost and left buy the Covenant.when they were left here
they killed every grunt for food after they went rampent the took off thair armor and had only keep thair energy swords.but these elites have no weapons.

[Edited on 07.23.2009 6:01 PM PDT]

  • 07.23.2009 5:54 PM PDT

Are you only writing because you read another story and thought "Hey, I could do this!"

Revise before you post. The grammatical errors in that were numerous. And how does the Spartan know what the Elites did?

  • 07.23.2009 5:57 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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sorry i am an immergrint from japan

  • 07.23.2009 6:00 PM PDT

I'm sorry, I didn't know. This must make writing stories difficult then, really.

  • 07.23.2009 6:02 PM PDT

the war is over if you want it to be-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

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Posted by: Wolverfrog
Are you only writing because you read another story and thought "Hey, I could do this!"

Revise before you post. The grammatical errors in that were numerous. And how does the Spartan know what the Elites did?

he was just attacked and he saw them transform from humble servants to the prophets, to animals.

  • 07.23.2009 6:05 PM PDT

Halo: Heretic or Hero---An Elite's Story
Choose your own destiny

FanFicFactor
Forged in the Flames of Passion, go forth and represent!

For those of you that are being sarcastic about things, it really isn't funny. Not everyone in this forum has natural, raw talent. Some people have to devote themselves to getting better.

Soren, being honest, you need to make your chapters a LOT longer. There are some grammaratical errors, but I understand you are an immigrant, so that can be dealt with later. For now, you should be tasked with reading a few of the Halo books and copying their format...just make it longer and let it flow out, but don't go so off topic.

You are just starting. Writing is not as easy as it is claimed to be. There is so much to be learned, and I think, with practice and patience, you will make a good writer.

---Murph---

  • 07.23.2009 6:40 PM PDT
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When life gives you lemons, ferment them and get drunk.

Your story is nice, and has a lot of ppottential. I suggest using microsoft word to type it up, then transfer it to this. You will need to use a format converting thing that bungie has linked onto the gallery forum. It is on one of the posts they made. It's the post about format that bungie requieres to be used. So yea. Also, avoid using repetative words and phrases. For instance, you shouldn't use one word at the beggining of a sentance consecutavly. Use a variety of vocabulary. This doesn't mean you can never use the same word twice, just space it out a little. Say three sentances or so. You can also use short phrases to refer to a character. In one of my stories, i had a sentance, " The mighty spartan, the unstopable hero, began to cry." I refered to him in ways other than just spartan. You could use stuff like, the armored giant, colossus, supersoldier, ect.

  • 07.23.2009 7:06 PM PDT

Posted by: I Luv 2 Teamkill
You could use stuff like, the armored giant, colossus, supersoldier, ect.


I used to do that, but I have so many characters now that I usually find it that I have to name the person speaking or described.

  • 07.23.2009 7:08 PM PDT
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When life gives you lemons, ferment them and get drunk.

Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: I Luv 2 Teamkill
You could use stuff like, the armored giant, colossus, supersoldier, ect.


I used to do that, but I have so many characters now that I usually find it that I have to name the person speaking or described.


True. I guess it depends on the amount of characters you have and how different or alike they are.

  • 07.23.2009 7:11 PM PDT