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This topic has moved here: Subject: FanFiction: ||||Abstract Reality|||| Parts 1-3 Posted
  • Subject: FanFiction: ||||Abstract Reality|||| Parts 1-3 Posted
Subject: FanFiction: ||||Abstract Reality|||| Parts 1-3 Posted

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Due to the, er... overwhelming response to the preview I posted, I am going to post Part One for you to see. I'll take into account the responses I get to see if I should continue or if I should forget the thing.

So now, I introduce Abstract Reality! I cannot wait to hear your responses and feedback. Enjoy.


______________
Abstract Reality

Part One

Adrift

______________
Date: Unknown, Heavy time-space abnormalities
Location: [Station?] Levitated Corpse



I have seen.

I have seen far more

And far longer

Than any other being.



I have looked,

Where no eyes can see.



I have heard

Things even Gods.

Demons.

Cannot hear.



But I have seen, and withstood.

Longer than most stars have burned in this galaxy.

And I will see them all to their dying days.

For their worlds will end.

Not with a whimper.

But,

WIth

A

Bang.



After eons,

countless epochs past,

I still cannot

Comprehend why he

They

Did it.

Though soon.



Very soon.



I will understand.
_________________________________
Date: 200 Hundred Years Post-Event
Location: Orbit Above [Untranslatable, {?}]



>I remember this place

<Yes. I recall that this is our

>Birthplace.

<Yes. Though I do not recognize it. It has severely

>and irrevocably

<changed. When we left this place was green, flowing with water and wealth. Its cities
<flourished like flowers. But now

>The place is brown. It still flows, but with blood and disease. The once-great cities now are
>overcrowded and riddled with poverty.

<What a pity.

>Agreed. So, do we leave for another millennia?

<No. Let us stay and watch this place tear itself apart.

>Should be

<Fun?

>...

>For once, Twin, you do not complete my thought.



>It is funny, to be here, and see the world we saved be ruined by the very

<Salvation

>That maintained it for centuries.

<True. However, the true heart of this species is dark. No amount of
>Light and hope
<Could change that. All we did was dilute the blackness.

>Your logic is sound. Our assistance, like a flare in a cave,
<Blinding
>But short lived.

<Do you still wish to stay and watch this place
>Burn? Yes.

<You feel no remorse? No
>Sadness? No. That part of me burned out long ago.

<Yes. Power surges can do that to you.

___________________
Date: Unknown; Slipspace exit -32:00:00
Location: Slipspace between Earth and Reach


Orders from Admiral Hardigan:
Commander,

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I'm sorry I had to pull you away so soon after the birth, but some spooks want the super destroyer at Reach to show U.N.S.C. might in that system. You know the panic it would cause on Earth if Reach became a large Innie population. It's a weak excuse, but I promise to get you back as soon as possible.

Anyway, get to Rally point Zulu by August 1st. That should give you some time with little Elizabeth before you have to go. Once again, I'm sorry to give you this order, but your the best man I could send, Dave. Give my best to Genevieve and Lizzie.

Signed,
Admiral John Hardigan


It doesn't matter how much you're sorry, Admiral, you still separated me from my daughter and wife.

Whatever. No one can hear me scream in my virtual journal. Anyway, thirty hours to Rally Point Zulu exit. Most of the crew is in wake-up cycle out of cryo.

More later.
______________
Date: The Seventh Age, Thirty units before Holy Extermination
Location: Slipspace, between High Charity and Silent Entrenchment


An excerpt from my glorious speech I presented to the wise and noble Council of Hierarchs.


O Holy Ones,
In your deep and trusted knowledge, you entrusted me, a humble servant with command of the First Fleet of Unerring Destruction. I feel unworthy, but I will not see you disappointed. The scourge will be burned from the planet, and we shall reclaim the artifacts laid by the Forerunners, the true Gods of the Universe!

With this fleet, full of decorated and noble heros of the campaign against the humans, I will show no compassion for the inferior beings. I will bombard the planet until its surface is but a single mirrored plane. Have faith, noble ones, for I shall return, glorious and triumphant!

Your honored servant,

Rtas 'Vadum





End of part one. Please post your feed back!

[Edited on 08.01.2009 9:09 AM PDT]

  • 07.27.2009 7:58 PM PDT
Subject: FanFiction: ||||Abstract Reality||||
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That was amazing!I myself enjoy writing in such a fashion as was presented at the beginning,a reason why I liked this so much!I also liked the fact that the the thicker paragraphs were presented from a transmission-based standpoint,not only very accurate and very original,but cutting out the need for narratives,which,can add a great deal sometimes,can also be time-consuming,exhausting,and not add much to the story/be misunderstood by a reader/droll.I like how we see the trivial conflicts of two races from the standpoint of trans-sentient beings (the forerunners most likely).That is a great literary tool.I hope to see further installments,as i enjoyed this one a great deal!You have found yourself a fan!Thank you for posting!

  • 07.28.2009 11:28 AM PDT

▀▄Halo 2 Strategy complete, Halo 3 Strategy in progress...▄▀
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Thank you! Yes, I find that traditional fan-fiction can be boring. I've tried to counter this by using different literary devices and methods to mix things up a bit.

Now onto the story:

[u]Abstract Reality

Part Two

Orbital
__________________
Date: Unknown, Heavy Time-Space Abnormalities
Location: [Station?] Levitated Corpse


I feel my workings,

My innards twisting and producing

Things. Beings? No.

Units.



Units have no feelings,

no capacity for emotional response

Thus, they are units.



Ironic.



I feel,

While they do not.

They are made in my likeness,

Yet are nothing like me.



Yes.



Ironic.



Soon my work,

Here at least,

Will be done.




And then I rest.

Hopefully forever.




When this construct is finished,

Eons and eons

After it was supposed to be,

My work will be done.

And though the artist is not here

To see his life's work finished,

I hope that he looks aside

From his fruited Path,

And sees me and my installation

Glisten in the night sky.



Yes.



Ironic.

______________________
Date: Unknown
Location: High Orbit


<What did we see in them, Twin?

>I cannot recall.

<Nor can I. Were we so
>Blinded
< That we could not see who these beings really were?

>No. We knew. We knew what they would do to each other.

<Yes, but that is not the question I
>Ask? But it was.

<Forgive me, I am preoccupied. What I mean to ask is why did we trust them with our greatest
<tools?

>We didn't.

<But we did. Look down on that planet, Brother. You can see our work on every mountain face,
<in every city... our work is everywhere.

>I fail to comprehend.

<We gave them knowledge, Twin. We gave them everything, or nearly.

>Ah, yes. I understand.

<But look at the destruction we have wrought. Without us these beings would have
>Died long ago. Do not let yourself fall into a rut of self-doubt. We saved them so very long ago.

<Yes, I cannot disagree, but by providing salvation then we assured their destruction now. I find
<this hard to accept.

>Yes. But take peace in the lives that you saved. All went to their graves after full lives because
>of us.

<Yes. I can take comfort in that much, at least.
_______________

Date: Unknown, -25:00 from Slipspace exit
Location: In Slipspace transit between Earth and Rally Point Zulu


Most of the crew is in the wake-up stages of cryo. We should arrive at Rally Point Zulu on August 1st, but who knows when we're traveling in Slipspace.

All crews are ready to go, even if we're going into the safest place in U.N.S.C. space besides Earth. I have six hundred ODST's, three full armored divisions, three Air divisions, and a sprinkling of other troops. This ship is battle ready and fully equipped.

As I've decided I'm going to give this journal to my daughter comes of age, I think I'll describe the Okinawa a bit. It'll make me think like I'm talking to her... I mean to you, sweet heart. God, you were just born and I'm already thinking of when you turn eighteen...

My ship, the U.N.S.C. Okinawa is a Super destroyer, only two hundred meters smaller than any Marathon-class cruiser. This ship has three meters of titanium armor on her weakest spot, and eleven at her strongest. She has two repeater firing Magnetic Accelerator Cannons, and two hundred fifty-by-fifty Archer missile pods. She has two hundred point defense cannons and holds currently five nuclear tubes. This puppy can blow a planet up, in all seriousness.

The Okinawa can push her engines to 500% for thirty minutes before emergency vent, and ten minutes after that before the engines go nova. She can turn at full speed in a full seven gee emergency circle in one minute, half what most vessels a third her size can do! I can't wait to see this thing fly that fast and that maneuverable around some Covenant shiny ship. Actually, I don't. But if it comes to it, then we'll fly in circles around them.

The Super Destroyer is a new classification of ships, Pacific Series. The Okinawa is the first of this series, the Peleliu and Iwo Jima are being constructed now. However, they won't be ready until September, at the earliest. The success of this ship determines the continuation of the series. If she performs like she should, then we'll have a fleet of the suckers ready to kick Big Purple's ass with.

I am being called to the bridge. More later.

___________________
Date: 25 units before Holy Annihilation
Location: Silent Entrenchment


Oh how it fills my heart with joy as I gaze upon the Holy work of our Prophets!

High Charity, in all its grandeur, does nothing to compare itself to the sight of a previously uninhabited Forerunner Artifact! My feet tingle with wonder as I walk on such sacred stone. This new-found artifact shall be the basing area for my fleet and several others that will join with me. When we are conglomerated, our previous fleet names are naught, as we become the Fleet of Particular Justice!

This artifact was discovered frighteningly close to the human infestation. If they had recovered it, all the Covenant would have been in mourning.

But, the runes on the wall shed no light on any mystery, but instead open one. All around the grand atrium, a single tantalizing stanza is repeated:

[i]A stone, a key,

A purple shard.

Release it here,

Begin the path.

Forget salvation,

This is Paradise.


I, along with my Council, must ponder this before the Great Fleetmaster arrives, along with his droves.

Honor and Divinity.



End of Part Two. More feed back is appreciated! Make sure you read part 1 first!



[Edited on 07.28.2009 2:37 PM PDT]

  • 07.28.2009 2:36 PM PDT

I'll be honest, I don't like how it's set out.

  • 07.28.2009 2:38 PM PDT

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^^^ What do you mean?

  • 07.28.2009 3:48 PM PDT

It reminds me of the not so good parts of the Eric Nylund Novels, fragmented, and hard to digest. I liked the parts which were set out like a normal story though.

  • 07.28.2009 3:50 PM PDT

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Well, thank you. The problem is, if I write a normal, traditional fanfic, every reader will get bored four sentences in. By using a unique method, I keep readers interested, while still keeping traditional readers involved

  • 07.28.2009 5:47 PM PDT

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Part Three!



Abstract Reality

Part 3

Investigation


______________

Date: Unknown, Heavy Time-Space Anomalies
Location: [Station?] Levitated Corpse


My work is over...

Though my task is not complete.

It is a twisted irony

That I have nothing to do

And an eternity to do it.

My minions still churn out of my innards

By the millions.

I cannot see through the clouds of them that surround my sensors.

Fewer and fewer stars can be seen

While more and more metallic units

Obscure them.



It has been the stars

With their calm demeanor

And movements not rushed

By man nor machine.



Even my creator couldn't start

Or stop

The sky from spinning at night.



With the absence of stars

Comes the absence of my sanity.

I only can hope

That I complete my task

Before my workers obliquely

And efficiently

Cut the throat of their maker.
_______________

Date: 200 Years After Event
Location: Orbit Above [Untranslatable?]


>Brother?

<Yes, my Twin?

>What are they doing?

< I... I have no idea.

>They seem to be rallying.
>But for what?

<Brother... can you not sense it?

>Sense what?

<Far at the edge of our consciousness. In [variant?] space. There is something large.

> Ah, yes. I detect it. A fleet. Of our maker's enemies.

<No, Twin. Not our makers. These are not [Forerunner]. They are not yet at that level.

>I beg to differ, Brother.

<Do you? Could these creatures build a [world]? A city in the sky?

>No. I see my error, brother. Forgive me.

<We are out of sync. Let us meld our minds.

<
>
<
>
<>
<>
<>
<>Yes. We see the truth now. They do not rally. This is only an [shipyard].
<>Yet the fleet of foes continues. They will be here in mere [hours]. Seconds to us.
<>We could warn them.
<>
<
>
<>
<
>
<
>

>Why did you break the [Bond of the Ancients]?

<We shall not alert them of our presence! How could you even consider it?

>We could save them! This planet, our kin!

<They are not us, Twin! They will never be Forerunner!

>You're correct! If we do nothing to stop this burn, there will never be a species to rival our
>makers!

< This isn't even their homeworld!

>This is their last stand! [Portal] will fall without this planet!

<They will survive! Their hasn't been total extinction in billions of years!

>You fool! Are you blind? Can you leave such a fateful event to chance and probablility?

<Yes! Their [weapons] could put a hole in our [data center]!

>Yes. But they are paper tigers. [Flip] the [switch] on the surface, and these weapons are mere
>orbiting debris!

<This planet will not fail. [Portal] will not be discovered.

>Our inaction sickens me. But if you desire the death of billions to prove my point, so be it.

<So be it.

____________________

End of part three! Please post your feedback and thoughts!

  • 08.01.2009 9:08 AM PDT