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  • Subject: Cortana and Cheif in the Burger Joint
Subject: Cortana and Cheif in the Burger Joint
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I just randomly thought of this, it started off in this thread and some guy told me to post it in this forum, so here i go.




ok so MC and cortana land on this weird planet called "FAST FOOD" and this planet is reknown for its fast food delivers. so MC and cortana get hired to work in one of the fast food outlets. so there working away and MC says to the customers " can i take your order please" and the customer goes "ermmm aren't you like some uber cool dude who like saved loads of people and killed like loads of grunts" MC replies " ermm no thats my friend" customer replies " ZOMG, its MC, hahahaha and your working in some burger joint, haha you suck !!!" MC gets really angry and punches the customer into outer space...

The next customer steps to till nervously.

MC stated to the customer. "Can i take your order please?"
The customer replies. "Err yeah can i have a mega super cheezeburger with extra grunt blood and i side order of elite limbs please ?"
MC says "Okay, im gonna go get the food"
MC moves into the kitchen to find cortana making burgers and says "Cortana have we got any elite limbs ?"
Cortana replies " ... MC ... we havent got ... any !!!"
MC SHOUTS " WTF, WE HAVE NONE, THE CUSTOMER NEEDS THEM THOUGH, UHH LOOKS LIKE IM GONNA HAVE TO GO GET SOME"

MC returns back to the burger joint with blood smeared all over his viser with a handlefull of elite limbs. " Ok so here you go sir, here's you food"
The customer screams and leaves the burger joint in peril.



Part 2 of the Cortana and Cheif In the Burger Joint.


Cortana was bending over cleaning the tables and MC could not take her eyes off her when she bent over.

MC said "Hey Cortana, i dont know if this meat at the burger joint is any good but you could always taste my meat".
Cortana replied "Cheif your such a jerk."
MC looked rather shocked at her response, he heard teenagers in the background laughing at his attempt to go down on Cortana. He shouted "STFU N00BY KIDS BEFORE I GO APE SHIZZLE ON YOUR ASS".

MC's shift at the burger joint was 7am - 7pm, it was a long hard day and he easily got bored... *CLASH BANG WALLOP* all the windows of the burger joint were smashed open and a gang of grunts with guns busted through the doors.

" ALL RIGHT, NOW EVERYONE GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR " shouted the grunt.
" -sigh-, you have got to be kidding me " MC mumbled.
" WHAT DID YOU SAY BIG GUY, YOU THINK YOUR ALL TOUGH COS YOUR BIG AND GREEN AND IN A SUIT, WELL YOU AINT SO YOU BETTER SHUT UP OR I'LL SHOOT YOU" shouted the grunt.
" shoot me then you peice of sh-" MC was interupted by Cortana.
" cheif dont do this, we need to settle down here, no more fighting, no more killing please" pleaded Cortana.
"I SAID STFU n00bs, HEY BIG GREEN GUY TELL YOUR LITTLE -blam!- TO QUEIT DOWN" shouted the grunt.
" oh no your didn't !! " replied MC. MC jumped over the table ran towards the grunt with incredible speed picked up a burger while he was running and rammed it down the grunt's throut and pulled the grunts gun off him and shot the other grunts.
" SWALLOW THIS YOU SON OF A BITC-" yet again cortana interupted.
" CHEIF, just let him go!" cortana said.
" you got lucky this time n00b" MC said to the grunt. The grunt ran away screaming " MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY"

" Some things will never change ... " MC stated.





Part 3 of the Cortana and Cheif In the Burger Joint.


Cheif really wanted the new Warthog 2.0 but he wasn't getting that much pay at the burger joint so he decided to ask his boss for a pay rise. Cheif walks into his boss's office to see a 50 stone fat guy in a chair playing halo 3 while eating a burger with crums in his grey beard. Cheif felt sick just looking at him.

"ermm, excuse me boss, i was just wondering if i could hav-" Cheif was rudely interupted by his boss.
" No. " His boss said without looking away from the screen.
" But you dont know what i was going to sa-" MC was interupted by his boss yet again.
" No. " His boss stated. MC left his bosses office and was fustrated, but then he thought of a plan.

Cheif walks into his bosses office again and says to him " Hey boss, if i beat you in a game of Halo will you give me a raise ?"
His boss turns his head to look at the Cheif and says " Your on! "
His boss hands him a controller and they get ready for battle.

1.42 minutes later the game ends.

"Well looks like your getting a pay rise Cheif" stated cheif's boss.
" DAMN RIGHT I AM" SHOUTED CHEIF. Cheif walked out of his boss''s office with his head held high knowing that in a few weeks he will be able to get the new Warthog 2.0.

A few weeks later.

"Hey Cortana, like my new ride ?" Cheif said to Cortana.
"hmm, its quite nice to be honest Cheif" Cortana winked at the cheif and walked on.

Cheif thought to himself "Now all i have to do is reel her in"




The end ... for now ...


  • 07.28.2009 10:43 AM PDT
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the one n only CRISSKILLZZ

"FAIL"

  • 07.28.2009 10:49 AM PDT
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I thought it was a pretty funny story!Reminiscent of something like Arby n' the Chief (I mean that as a good thing).Great job!I'm still chuckling at the "fallen from grace" bit where the story acknowledges Master Chief's past then sends in a kid to make fun of him for working in a burger joint!I would really enjoy more of these stories,and,for one,would be very pleased if would continue writing along these lines!Thanks for posting!

  • 07.28.2009 11:06 AM PDT

"Only the Fallen are Heroes, while the ones who still stand are villains"

Meh, and you spelled CHIEF WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 07.28.2009 12:08 PM PDT
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Posted by: Halochief89RvB
Meh, and you spelled CHIEF WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!


well whoopde frickin doo !

  • 07.31.2009 7:18 AM PDT

Yeah that wasn't very funny

  • 07.31.2009 12:31 PM PDT