The Gallery
This topic has moved here: Subject: [graphic novel] The Greatest of Journeys
  • Subject: [graphic novel] The Greatest of Journeys
Subject: [graphic novel] The Greatest of Journeys

I've been working on this idea for a few months now, but I just recently got the hardware to draw it with. This story recounts the adventures of a young Sangheili as he fights not for the Journey, but for his fellow Sangheili. The first page is all I have at the moment, but I promise to have another in three days, and many more after that.
Page 1
Page 2
Feedback would be appreciated.

[Edited on 08.23.2009 7:56 AM PDT]

  • 08.07.2009 10:53 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

The drawings themselves look really good, the text fits in well.
Just keep practising on colouring with photoshop/corel/...

Good job!
I'm looking forward to page 2 ^_^

  • 08.08.2009 2:57 AM PDT

The story needs a lot of work, some parts make little to no sense.

  • 08.08.2009 4:10 AM PDT

Posted by: Wolverfrog
The story needs a lot of work, some parts make little to no sense.

I'm sorry, could you please explain what you mean by "the story" and what parts don't make sense?

  • 08.08.2009 8:24 AM PDT

Posted by: La Fiurha
The drawings themselves look really good, the text fits in well.
Just keep practising on colouring with photoshop/corel/...

Good job!
I'm looking forward to page 2 ^_^

  • 08.08.2009 5:11 PM PDT

Posted by: Daaaah Whoosh
Posted by: Wolverfrog
The story needs a lot of work, some parts make little to no sense.

I'm sorry, could you please explain what you mean by "the story" and what parts don't make sense?


The panels later on seem to contradict the panels earlier on. For example, he says in the first two that he has been taught to use his Plasma Rifle, yet in the third he says he hasn't been taught to use it.

  • 08.08.2009 5:20 PM PDT

Posted by: Wolverfrog
The panels later on seem to contradict the panels earlier on. For example, he says in the first two that he has been taught to use his Plasma Rifle, yet in the third he says he hasn't been taught to use it.


No matter how I word that part, someone always misunderstands it.
I'm not saying he doesn't know how to use a plasma rifle, I'm merely saying that he realized that he had never been told how it worked, how pulling the trigger released a plasma charge. I was implying that during the human/Covenant war, science and mathematics were set aside on Sangheilios to make more room for tactics and training. During such times of heavy warfare, the Sangheili would be denied the privelidge of higher learning in order to make soldiers out of their children more quickly. Such a practice, I imagine, would have been supported by the San 'Shyuum, who would not want the Sangheili to be anything more than mindless brutes, which, as many of us know, led to a problem later on.
By the way, the second page is nearly halfway done, I expect to have it out tomorrow. I have made some minor alterations to my coloring methods, alterations that I hope will improve the overall quality of the novel.

  • 08.09.2009 10:43 AM PDT

I suggest changing it to "He didn't understand how it operated." Or, even better, "He didn't understand why it worked."

[Edited on 08.09.2009 11:31 AM PDT]

  • 08.09.2009 11:31 AM PDT

Page 2 is out, about a week behind schedule :D

  • 08.17.2009 1:13 PM PDT

-eddy!
huh! What? It was the other guy, honest! ;)
'it was a sniper!' looks down at my sniper
uhh yeah? hes got one too. XD

u shud edit ur 1st post and post it there

  • 08.17.2009 2:08 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

You call for help, and no ones there.

You cry in pain and no one cares

You stand alone in this nightmare

With every journey comes journey's end, and every end sparks a new journey.

  • 08.17.2009 5:40 PM PDT

I AM THE LAW..........

Please continue to make more.

  • 08.18.2009 8:27 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

When life gives you lemons, ferment them and get drunk.

Awesome! Very nice drawings too. The way your character speaks is full of emotion. It's like being in his mind, a total insight. I can't wait for the next part! Can you check out my story Blood Bullets and Crosshairs and tell me what you think? It's on the first page, atm at least. Anyway, keep up the good work!!!

  • 08.18.2009 10:12 AM PDT