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Subject: Funniest joke contest!
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Gator shoes was good!

  • 07.23.2004 7:44 AM PDT
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if quizes are quizicals, what are tests?

if quizes are quizICALS, what are tests?

test + ICALS = ???

how bad of a reader are you?!

  • 07.23.2004 7:50 AM PDT
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heres a real joke:

"All the chicks on Bungie.net dig my 18year old P plate driver, body building, artistic nurdy book writing manlyness"

If it is true though ;)

*gulp* HELP, GROOPIES ARE AFTER MEEEE!!!

now that's sad funny. :LOL:

  • 07.23.2004 7:51 AM PDT
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Take the F out of way!

You say, "There is no F in way!"

Which sounds like, "There is no F***ing way!"

  • 07.23.2004 7:51 AM PDT
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Posted by: ilovemuskrat
take the F out of way!


There is no F in way!!!


Darn....to late!

[Edited on 7/23/2004 7:52:21 AM]

  • 07.23.2004 7:51 AM PDT
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Posted by: ilovemuskrat
Take the F out of way!

You say, "There is no F in way!"

Which sounds like, "There is no F***ing way!"


I got the joke 5 minutes ago, gee... get over it already.

I just didn't feel like telling anyone because I'm a j#rk.

  • 07.23.2004 7:53 AM PDT
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A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, "I resent that!"

The ventriloquist started apologizing to the redreck.

The redneck looked at him and said, " You stay outta this, I''m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!



Q: What do you call 32 Rednecks in one room?

A: A full set of teeth.


Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma



How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?

If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".





HEIDI -- noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."

BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

FAT -- noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.

ARE -- pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.

RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."

DID -- adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE -- a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert."

SEED -- verb, past tense.

VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

HEAVY DEW -- phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."

  • 07.23.2004 7:54 AM PDT
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I take it that Mulletman262 dosen't like rednecks?

Your not the only one who dosen't. But I'm not going to degrade anyone...

  • 07.23.2004 8:00 AM PDT
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Posted by: CommanderFox
Posted by: ilovemuskrat
Take the F out of way!

You say, "There is no F in way!"

Which sounds like, "There is no F***ing way!"


I got the joke 5 minutes ago, gee... get over it already.

I just didn't feel like telling anyone because I'm a j#rk.


i think you just didnt get it :)

  • 07.23.2004 8:02 AM PDT
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Posted by: CommanderFox

I take it that Mulletman262 dosen't like rednecks?

Your not the only one who dosen't. But I'm not going to degrade anyone...


Naw...just alot of redneck jokes r funny.

  • 07.23.2004 8:06 AM PDT
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Posted by: Mulletman262
Posted by: CommanderFox

I take it that Mulletman262 dosen't like rednecks?

Your not the only one who dosen't. But I'm not going to degrade anyone...


Naw...just alot of redneck jokes r funny.


Rednecks language is funny... you know that there is a site were html pages can be translated to Snoop Doggy coolz shiznit coolness.

How about a site that translates html pages to redneck...in the words of the worm: "funneeey".

  • 07.23.2004 8:11 AM PDT
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i man drowned in a giant boll of muslie......

he was palled down by a curent...


what is brown and sticky

a stick

  • 07.23.2004 8:15 AM PDT
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My personal favorite joke is from Austin Powers Goldmember:"I took a Viagra, got stuck in my throat, I had a stiff neck for hours! Aye Thankyew!"LOL!

  • 07.23.2004 8:18 AM PDT
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Try to read this without laughing!

"The O.J. Murder Trial" by Dr.Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.
When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.
I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.
Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?
I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, not anytime.
And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!


I did not write this:(

  • 07.23.2004 8:23 AM PDT
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Here's a quote: If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar.

What do you call an able-bodied person on your doorstep?

Whatever his name is.

  • 07.23.2004 9:27 AM PDT

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