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  • Subject: Lost and forgotten: The jungles of Africa (Part 1 is up!)
Subject: Lost and forgotten: The jungles of Africa (Part 1 is up!)
  • gamertag: rex131
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-=PH=-

Good day. I'm an active and fairly enthusiastic member of the Bungie fan-base and pride myself on many qualities. If you want to send me a PM, go right ahead. No I won't spam your inbox with group invites, I will respond in the best way possible. Thank you, and as I had opened, I'll close - good day.


Rex131, PHaNToM1325, TheKiNG1325, TheRoadrunner13, PainedHope13

Prologue
The jungle was an eerie place. There was no denying it. Echoing moans and grunts reverberated throughout the foliage, as if the sounds were playing a game of pinball off the trees. They kept him awake at night, and forced him to keep his firearm close at hand to where he lay. Lucky for him, however, they did. For if the creaking and scratching, screams and cries of the forest were to have disappeared, he wouldn't have seen the spectacle he did last night.

He hadn't been here before. He knew how to navigate the rainforest and survive in the woods, but this jungle was nothing of the sort. Smooth and towering rocks were strewn about everywhere, and the visibility was usually up to a good 50 yards or more: quite open compared to other forests. The moss clung to the rocks like a lifebuoy, and provided ample friction for his boots. Among the rocks were scattered trees, some with low hanging branches perfect for a good perch. Some were closely clumped, and others spread out from the packs - reminding him of a heat map. The rain was a subtle relaxant, which lightly knocked upon the roof of his helmet, cooing him to a deep sense of tranquility. In the clearing he could see it falling just slightly against the background, the kind of rain that makes the world seem as if it's a television screen losing signal, and becoming fuzzy to the eyes.

As Mac looked about the jungle, not much was out of place. The trees were unscathed, the rocks soaked deep with the spitting rainwater, and the branches still attached to their parent autotrophs. To the untrained eye, no one had been here; Mac's eyes were honed to their finest ability. The wet ferns and plants on the forest floor were knocked clear of water droplets in linear paths, and their leaves chipped and slightly worn in areas. The mud had light streaks, where tracks were covered. There was even a faint, almost imperceptible scent floating on the oxygen in the air, one of mixed gases and musky, animal-like odors. The setting may be new to him, but Mac was no novice to tracking. He knew what he was looking for. The flaming meteor he saw the night before had peaked his curiosity, and apparently the same was for a less friendly neighbor of the jungle. He was getting out of hell, and if he had to fight his way through, so be it.

>>Writer's note<< Finally! Sorry, I had a lot of trouble getting this up (I kept getting the special characters error message, quite oddly, and ended up having to retype the whole thing >.<). As you can see, I used the same character from the "Believe" works that I did a while ago. The way that I'm going to do this should/could be interesting, so please stick around and feel free to comment and tell me what you think! (btw, I'd be very pleased and impressed if you can figure out where Mac is).

[Edited on 09.12.2009 4:15 PM PDT]

  • 09.11.2009 5:08 PM PDT
  • gamertag: rex131
  • user homepage:

-=PH=-

Good day. I'm an active and fairly enthusiastic member of the Bungie fan-base and pride myself on many qualities. If you want to send me a PM, go right ahead. No I won't spam your inbox with group invites, I will respond in the best way possible. Thank you, and as I had opened, I'll close - good day.


Rex131, PHaNToM1325, TheKiNG1325, TheRoadrunner13, PainedHope13

PART 1
Mac disassembled the receiver of his sub-machine gun in a perfunctory way, scarcely looking down at his work to check the various pins and springs. He wiped clean the grime and excess water from the bolt, as well as twisting some worn springs and tightening them up: making sure they were effective. After this, he cleansed the chamber so that bullets were fed flawlessly from the magazines. He inspected the suppresser, which was unimpaired. The shaft of the extendable stock needed wiping down, and he tightened the screws on the fore-grip. He adjusted the sights and refurbished some of the wires and the laser sight with the special tools he kept in his drop pod. After checking and filling his spare magazines, he rehabilitated his pistol in a similar way, and when he was finished, he made sure all the screws were tight and snug after greasing the various inner-workings of both weapons. After finishing off the guns, he turned his attention to his suit. Mac replaced a couple of frayed straps with spare ones he also kept in the pod, and then repaired some scratches on his visor with a solution in his tool kit. After painstakingly running through everything, making sure all were operational, he had eaten through a good 3 hours or more, and was still only finishing up his check.

As he ran through these fixes, his mind easily wandered because of how expertly he knew his belongings. He thought of his old squad. He wondered what had become of them. He thought of his wife as well, and his heart broke. How long had it been? A week? Was it more? He couldn't tell. The countless hours of nothingness had made his mind blunter. He finally finished his work and sat down on a comfortable pad of moss. He was hungry, and picked up the bird meat he had left sitting on a fire while he was working. His helmet was still on from checking out its functions, and so he took it off and carefully set it down on a flat part of rock next to him. The face in the mirrored helmet visor intrigued Mac. His chin and jaw was sporting a nice layer of stubble, which spread from in front of his ears to above his lip and a little down his throat. His dark mahogany-colored hair was unruly and a mess. Through it all, his grey eyes still shone with their undeviating brightness and fortitude, pleasing him and made him smile. His grin resulted in showing off his dimples. This moved his attention toward an oblique scar that stretched from his right temple to under his right eye and above his lip.

His hunger then quelled his interest in his appearance and he became diligent on downing the meat. It had a smoky savor that tasted delicious, and the meat was surprisingly juicy and was just the way he enjoyed; the way his wife cooked it. He saddened again and looked back into his helmet. He was frowning. After he had satiated his appetite, he unsheathed his combat knife from its compartment on his left boot and cut his hair. He then moved on to his lower face, which he shaved carefully and relieved his skin without much avail using dew he wiped onto his hand. When he looked at the finished product he happily thought of how presentable he looked, and felt driven. Mac then picked up his equipment, and took a last look at the HEV pod, which had been his shelter for however long he had been stranded. After cautiously rechecking his pack and paraphernalia, he left the clearing and walked into the darkness of the jungle, until he reached the faint trails of the beasts. He followed them for the rest of the day and well into the night before finding a suitable place in the crook of a tree to sleep.

>>Writer's Note<<
A little boring, yes, but the setting was still being established. I was trying to show off the character, and the action will soon be coming! I promise. New information was given as well, which I thought could portray the character better - these first few will really be about giving away background about the story and Mac.

[Edited on 09.13.2009 9:48 AM PDT]

  • 09.11.2009 5:11 PM PDT
Subject: Lost and forgotten: The jungles of Africa (Prologue + more to come)
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  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Very good! I love the setting and your description. I felt like i had seen the jungle myself :) Excelent work!!! By the way, next time don't retype it. Run it through this http://www.susurration.net/bng/unicode/index.php It will take out all of the extended characters. Now if you have stuff like "Uh...sure" The striping thing will make it "Uhsure" So after striping the extended characters off, read through your story to see if the program did anything like that :)

PS. Can you check my story Wildfire of the Covenant?

[Edited on 09.11.2009 6:22 PM PDT]

  • 09.11.2009 6:19 PM PDT
  • gamertag: rex131
  • user homepage:

-=PH=-

Good day. I'm an active and fairly enthusiastic member of the Bungie fan-base and pride myself on many qualities. If you want to send me a PM, go right ahead. No I won't spam your inbox with group invites, I will respond in the best way possible. Thank you, and as I had opened, I'll close - good day.


Rex131, PHaNToM1325, TheKiNG1325, TheRoadrunner13, PainedHope13

Posted by: Prawn of theDead
Very good! I love the setting and your description. I felt like i had seen the jungle myself :) Excelent work!!! By the way, next time don't retype it. Run it through this http://www.susurration.net/bng/unicode/index.php It will take out all of the extended characters. Now if you have stuff like "Uh...sure" The striping thing will make it "Uhsure" So after striping the extended characters off, read through your story to see if the program did anything like that :)

PS. Can you check my story Wildfire of the Covenant?

Cool, thanks for the link and the comment, and I'll definitely take a look at your story

  • 09.12.2009 10:31 AM PDT

Honor Light Your Way, Our Blood Shall Forge a Thousand Generations!

Very nice... the detail was incredible. I'm looking forward to the rest.

  • 09.12.2009 1:47 PM PDT
  • gamertag: rex131
  • user homepage:

-=PH=-

Good day. I'm an active and fairly enthusiastic member of the Bungie fan-base and pride myself on many qualities. If you want to send me a PM, go right ahead. No I won't spam your inbox with group invites, I will respond in the best way possible. Thank you, and as I had opened, I'll close - good day.


Rex131, PHaNToM1325, TheKiNG1325, TheRoadrunner13, PainedHope13

Posted by: Xartan
Very nice... the detail was incredible. I'm looking forward to the rest.

Thank you! I was trying to go for that. And I just added part 1, take a read if you'd like

  • 09.12.2009 4:18 PM PDT
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  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Excelent! Only one thing i saw. You used and alot, easy fix tho. I didn't think this was boring at all, in fact i really enjoyed it. The setting is really great :) Keep it up!

  • 09.12.2009 6:34 PM PDT
  • gamertag: rex131
  • user homepage:

-=PH=-

Good day. I'm an active and fairly enthusiastic member of the Bungie fan-base and pride myself on many qualities. If you want to send me a PM, go right ahead. No I won't spam your inbox with group invites, I will respond in the best way possible. Thank you, and as I had opened, I'll close - good day.


Rex131, PHaNToM1325, TheKiNG1325, TheRoadrunner13, PainedHope13

Posted by: Prawn of theDead
Excelent! Only one thing i saw. You used and alot, easy fix tho. I didn't think this was boring at all, in fact i really enjoyed it. The setting is really great :) Keep it up!

Thanks very much, Prawn, and I see what you mean - I'll edit that

  • 09.13.2009 9:41 AM PDT