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  • Subject: [Story] Spartan-014
Subject: [Story] Spartan-014

The Director of Royal Films.

Prologue

The doctor looked at the picture of the boy. The fourteenth one that matched the genetic requirements. The child had short, light-brown hair and blue eyes. She scanned the field and found him. He was playing with other children his age. One nearby him held a metal ball.

The ball had four numbers on it, one for each child. The longer one held it, the higher their colored number would increase. Oddball.

The fourteenth candidate stealthily walked up behind the ballholder, reached around, and took it. He smiled and ran to a nearby tree. Before the others could catch up, he climbed up the limbs. The others shouted as they tried to reach the lowest branch, but their efforts were wasted. The candidate won the game.

As the others left the park, the doctor walked up to the boy. "Hi there," she said. "You did very well in that game. What's your name?"

The boy looked at her suspiciously. "Roy," he said. "Who are you?"

"My name is Doctor Catherine Halsey."

  • 09.16.2009 2:33 PM PDT
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Nice. This is well writen. The problem is this could easilly turn out to be quite unoriginal. Stories about spartans nobody has ever heard of, and ODST squadrons are hard to pull of without being repetative. Few have been able to do it. I am in no way doubting your capabilities, I am saying that it will take a decent amount of thought. I haven't seen you among the ranks of the writers before. If this is you're first story then i am even more impressed.

  • 09.16.2009 4:04 PM PDT

The Director of Royal Films.

Thanks. Yes I am new and while the story will be the same as the others at first, I'll be able to develop the characters more once they start going on missions. Thanks for the advice.

  • 09.16.2009 4:14 PM PDT