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This topic has moved here: Subject: No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!
  • Subject: No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!
Subject: No wonder humanity was almost wiped out!

lolnope.

You OP are a very funny man.

  • 05.27.2010 12:13 PM PDT

On Waypoint I'm rocketFox;
http://halo.xbox.com/forums/members/rocketfox/default.aspx

Old GTs; RebelRobot, Flamedude

I'd like to add to this;
The UNSC were never concerned about heavy weapon training for any of their ground forces despite the thousands of battlefield reports of heavy weapon operating soldiers firing rockets or fuel rod rounds directly into the backs of their comrades at point blank range decimating their entire squad. Instead the UNSC preferred the "They've got to learn somehow" approach.
Seriously though, if the Covenant wanted to kill off humanity all they had to do was throw the UNSC a few thousand Fuel Rod guns and then provoke the marines into what they do best; inadvertently killing their own.

  • 05.27.2010 12:27 PM PDT

OMFG so true!

  • 05.27.2010 4:18 PM PDT

this is a great post

  • 05.27.2010 7:10 PM PDT

You will be missed.
My YouTube Channel
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"See what I did there?"
"I can hear you caring."
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Dont get too wrapped up in the Internet. It's already forgotten about you.

Almost a year later and this still gives me laughs.

  • 06.05.2010 1:31 PM PDT

In Soviet Russia you pilot many flying vehicles while Nikolai embarks on crazy journey of revenge filled with movie references....

This thread is epic.

  • 06.05.2010 2:15 PM PDT

On hiding dead bodies:
Posted by: Psuedo
Posted by: teh Chaz
Inside another dead body. It's the last place they'll look
A corpse within a corpse.
CORPSEPTION.
Win.

Posted by: Mutoid Log
Hornets, a slower moving, hard to operate vehicle that was only semi-competent at killing infantry units.have you even used one

And the M6D and M6C/S can't do crap on Covenant shields. The BR can, however. The UNSC couldn't go without having a weapon that has at least a little chance at killing an elite.

And the Halo 1 weapons weren't the original weapon set or anything. They were just what was given to the Marines aboard a Joke-class cruiser.


are you aware of the PoA refit? admittedly, Halcyon was a joke until the PoA refit but it pwned after that.

  • 06.05.2010 2:34 PM PDT
  • gamertag: tsassi
  • user homepage:

This made me laugh.

  • 06.06.2010 9:59 AM PDT

Oh hey there

Posted by: petarded2
It's a metaphor for the 07s' lack of identity. too old to be newfa­g, yet too new to be oldfa­g, we wander b.net in search of a home, forever trying to be something we are not.

*cough* Update it to include Reach *cough*

  • 06.06.2010 12:26 PM PDT

HAHA Your funny :)

  • 06.10.2010 2:00 PM PDT

Posted by: Gandalf: I'm new. And a wizard.

Sapphire just got even more awesome.

Posted by: mount420: You are late.
Posted by: jaythenerdkid: A wizard is never late.
Posted by: THORSGOD: Nor is he ever early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

Toasting in this epic bread!

Very nice, OP! So true, so true!

+1

  • 06.10.2010 6:40 PM PDT

Very funny....

  • 06.11.2010 7:54 AM PDT

What a waste....

Win

  • 06.14.2010 8:55 AM PDT

At the beginning of the Halo series, humanity had weapons that made the Covenant crap their pants. The standard UNSC pistol could be used as a freakin' anti-air weapon! The rocket launcher obliterated everything nearby, and the vehicles were completely indestructible.

Meanwhile, the Covenant were equiping their highest ranking Elites with fuzzy blue things that did nothing but make the humans laugh, as they used bullets to kill enemies rather than fists.

Then, the UNSC had a sudden urge to "balance" their equipment. They made it so the pistol couldn't kill a grunt, let alone a Covenant ship. They also made it so the vehicles were basicly fast-moving death traps that the enemy could now hijack. The only improvements were that the rocket laucher now fired rockets that could lock on to vehicles, and the UNSC finally saved up enough money to get every marine a driver's license.

At the same time, the Covenant had upgraded their blue fuzzy things into something that resembled a sword, which could now allow the user to fly 50 feet towards any target they wanted. They also developed a weapon similar to the UNSC SPNKR, except the user could fire approx. 1 bajillion rounds before reloading.

The UNSC then developed a weapon similar to the original stardard-issue pistol, but instead of making it standard issue, it was reserved for maniacs who enjoy getting launched from an orbital station into a city for a living.

The Covenant then realized that marines were using the plasma pistol and BR55 together to kill shielded Covenant easier, so they did the only logical thing and made the plasma pistol completely useless.

In order to combat Banshees in the absence of the pistol, the UNSC designed Hornets, a slower moving, hard to operate vehicle that was only semi-competent at killing infantry units.

Not wanting to fall behind on the manufacturing of over-powered weapons that make no sense, the Covenant designed a seven foot tall hammer that could destroy any enemy with one hit. This weapon was of course down graded when the Covenant realized it was useful.

Only with the help of the Elites with their retarded glowy things that somehow enabled their users to fly towards enemies, was humanity able to survive.

  • 06.14.2010 5:50 PM PDT

Hornets, a slower moving, hard to operate vehicle that was only semi-competent at killing infantry units. (i have two accounts)

[Edited on 06.14.2010 5:53 PM PDT]

  • 06.14.2010 5:52 PM PDT

Posted by: jumongya
(i have two accounts)

Erm. What?

  • 06.14.2010 5:58 PM PDT

Livin' the dream...

Then in Halo 3, They had to ruin the Assault rifle completely, making it sound kinda crappy & making the muzzle flash non-likable. The The Battle Rifle was downgraded because it had some minor usage in Halo 2, minimizing its effectiveness in Halo 3. But yeah... haha nice thread

  • 06.18.2010 10:22 PM PDT

I have a question. If the Gravemind had infected Jacob Keyes, it thus had knowledge of every and anything Keyes knew. That being said, the Gravemind should have known any weakness of the UNSC, and jumped right on it. Why is it that The Flood didn't utterly annhilate the humans?

  • 06.22.2010 8:41 PM PDT

Ever since I played Halo 1 my life gained a purpose, and still remains.

NightWolves, enlist now. Social community clan for everyone, we all have fun in our own way. (150+ members : ] )

Dude the weapons in the game n matchmaking is not the same as he talking about, this is real facts behind the games!

  • 06.23.2010 1:11 AM PDT

Ever since I played Halo 1 my life gained a purpose, and still remains.

NightWolves, enlist now. Social community clan for everyone, we all have fun in our own way. (150+ members : ] )

But they was to busy, their highest priority was not to kill the humans, it was to complete the GREAT JOURNEY! The Destruction of the humanity was the will of the gods and the covenant was their instrument! Only cuz they was in they way!

  • 06.23.2010 1:20 AM PDT

This lake couldn't have been created by volcanic action, which means it was either built this way on purpose, or was created by some other cataclysmic event. Sorry... were you trying to kill something?

You forgot something

In halo 2 humans decided that their vehicles where too tough so they had to make them destructible

Then the covenant decided that if human vehicles could be destroyed then they might need to borrow tanks

Then when the humans where running out of vehicles so they accidentally unleashed their super weapon, THE MONGOOSE!!!!!!
Which made you a sitting duck unless you where awesome sauce enough to use it, like me : D

[Edited on 07.05.2010 1:11 AM PDT]

  • 07.05.2010 1:09 AM PDT

On hiding dead bodies:
Posted by: Psuedo
Posted by: teh Chaz
Inside another dead body. It's the last place they'll look
A corpse within a corpse.
CORPSEPTION.
Win.

Posted by: Kevlarcasm
I have a question. If the Gravemind had infected Jacob Keyes, it thus had knowledge of every and anything Keyes knew. That being said, the Gravemind should have known any weakness of the UNSC, and jumped right on it. Why is it that The Flood didn't utterly annhilate the humans?
you need to read The Flood (book) - it says about how Keyes fought for control of his mind and saved the UNSC knowledge and also earths location by giving the gravemind EVERY OTHER memory aside from those - it worked, he held off the gravemind until john killed it.

  • 07.05.2010 2:06 AM PDT

BANOOSH

In 2552, weapons use YOU.

Thread saved.

  • 07.07.2010 11:12 AM PDT

Live to Laugh

Awesome. Thread saved.

  • 07.07.2010 11:27 AM PDT

Here's the only thing I said after reading this........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"COUGH" HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • 07.07.2010 1:22 PM PDT