The Gallery
This topic has moved here: Subject: [Story] The Reckoning (Part.1 The Awakening released!)
  • Subject: [Story] The Reckoning (Part.1 The Awakening released!)
Subject: [Story] The Reckoning (Part.1 The Awakening released!)
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

For anyone who reads Wildfire of the Covenant, this will not be replacing it. I will continue to write it.


--Animation Initiated--

//[Carbon released into tank].

-Reaction positive-

//[Organic compounds released into tank].

-Reaction positive-

Alert: Structure finished in 20 seconds

Alert: Structure complete

#Ion transfusion commenced#

-REACTION NEGATIVE! ABORT ION TRANSFUCION EMEDIATELY!-

-Ion transfusion aborted//

(Ions under augmentation, finished in 12 seconds)

{Correction complete---Ion transfusion successful}

//Emitting electric pulse into tank//

Alert: Unit charged

<Carbon compression initiated>

Alert: Compression successful

[Status] Holy Warrior complete

**The Reckoning has begun...**




[Edited on 09.28.2009 4:19 PM PDT]

  • 09.27.2009 3:14 PM PDT
Subject: [Story] The Reckoning

The Hybrid a FanFic by Tehface

"Look for the signs, the keepers of the flame. They will lead you to war, and perhaps, to victory."

Mysterious I see.
What'll happen?
Guess we'll find out.

  • 09.27.2009 6:09 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Part.1 The Awakening

Kalari Desert: Millitary Base//Planet Earth

Private Kardney stared had his stations computer. Dull grey eyes reflected back at him. He had a desk job in a desert. He couldn't imagine anything worse. Ever since the human-covenant war ended and the insurrectionists became a full scale army, things had been getting more secretive, thus the fort in a sandbox. Kardney had been begging for something exiting to happen, and today was his lucky day.

Kardney computer detected a miniscule slip space rupture. He thought it was a reconnaissance drone at first, until its signal disappeared. "What the hell?"

"Is there a problem Private?"

"No Lieutenant Hanks." Kardney snapped a precise salute, "Wellsort of."

"Explain."

"I detected a slip space rupture. It was so small it couldn't have been from anything but a reconisance drone, but the signal disappeared."

"Check if any drones are deployed at the moment."

"Aye sir." After only a few moments, the private had the
answer to Hanks' question, "No, nothing's out there."

"That's odd." The Lieutenant rubbed his chin, "Where was this rupture?"

"It happened to fast to locate it."

The Lieutenant let out a sigh, "Malfunction?"

"No sir, the systems are running fine."

"We'll keep an eye out. If anything else happe-"The entire military fort shook as if an earthquake hit it. A hole was punched in the command centers roof, sending debris everywhere. After the dust settled, officers began to peak over the top of their cubicles. The Lieutenant walked into the pillar of light coming through the ceiling's hole, below him, a shimmering white orb.

The Orb seemed to glow with energy, lighting up the usually dull room. Everyone suddenly felt at peace. The officers left their cubicles and stood by the orb. Soon enough all forty seven control center operators were huddles around it. Nobody touched the object, they just stared. The bauble had some sort of calming affect around it.

Not one person pulled the alarm, and not one guard had been seen. Private Kardney knelt down to the Orb, and picked it up. It felt warm in his hands, then a sudden shock of pain, rushing through his entire body. The Private screamed and dropped the Ball. Everyone broke out of their trance. The alarm was pulled, and medics were soon carrying Kardney out of the command center. He would be in a comma for the rest of his life.

The Command center was soon quarantined. Nobody wanted to take the risk of further injury. Pelicans were on their way to the base to evacuate everyone when it happened. The command center began to glow. Everything glass in the vicinity shattered, electricity was cut off, and everyone was silent. A stumbling was herd, then the door to the command center slowly opened, a boy, no older than 16 stumbled out. He was cloth less, and seemed totally disoriented as he shuffled across the dirt.

The child looked around him. He was surrounded by fences and barbed wire, he had quite an audience too. Lieutenant Hanks pushed his way through the crowd, and walked to the boy. The bewildered thing's eyes fluttered. Hanks prepared to catch him as the child fell into his arms.

Night set as the officers waited for the pelicans to arrive. The desert became freezing at night, so Lieutenant Hanks had taken off his fatigue jacket and wrapped it around they unconscious being. The whine of pelican engines pierced the cold night. Small specs could be seen under the light of the full moon. Lieutenant Hanks pushed himself up against the fence, not wanting to fall asleep. He still held the boy. It was as if someone had injected him with a paternal instinct. He did not love the child, but he did care for his safety.

The pelicans finally touched down onto the dirt. It was a relatively small base, so only six of the birds were needed. When the gates opened, two ODSTs jogged out of each one. One of the armored soldiers had a skull painted onto his chest plate and was pointing in different directions. ODSTs began to sweep the camp. Well here's our commander.

The soldier jogged toward Hanks. "Sergeant Jane Volkawitz. You are no longer the CO here so get your rear into the pelicanum, why are you holding a naked boy?"

"Oh we found him and didn't have any-"

"Good enough for me now MOVE!" The ODST removed her helmet. Lieutenant Hanks was shocked to see how good looking she was. "I'm sorry; did I order you to stare at me?" Her patience had obviously run out, if she had any to begin with. Hanks got to his feet, slung the boy over his shoulder, and walked toward the pelican.

The Lieutenant felt strange. Usually he never acknowledged the physical appearance of fellow soldiers. Something was off. Half way through the pelican ride, the boy moved. Lieutenant Hanks was so startled he dropped the kid onto the floor. His eyes shot open. They glowed with intense yellow light. He stood up. The boy's entire body began to glow so bright that even the ODSTs behind their tinted visors were squinting.

A deep voice that carried two tones rang through the Pelican's hull, "I am the light. I shall bring judgment, righteousness, and retribution!" It was coming from the boy. The hell jumpers fired their weapons, but the bullets simply disappeared.

The two ODSTs were instantly illuminated. They screamed and fell to the hard metal floor. "The reckoning hashas" The boy's shine began to fade," Begun." His last word no longer came out in a powerful voice. Instead it was soft and tender. He fell to the ground, unconscious once again.

Sergeant Volkawitz had been riding with them. She now lay on the ground, seemingly dead. Lieutenant Hanks rushed over to her. He quickly pulled of her helmet to see blood running from her nose. Blood dripped from the corner of her mouth, but that was nothing. Deep grooves were covering her face. They weren't bleeding. It almost seemed natural. Hanks stared at her, horrified, "Oh my god"




  • 09.28.2009 4:17 PM PDT

Not bad, although I hate using random marines as basis for a fan fiction personally; I either give them code names and dynamic personalities, use well known characters from the Universe, or tell a tale from the other side of the story, in Halo's case, from the Covenant perspective.

The writing is good, but the plot looks rather linear and unoriginal.

  • 09.29.2009 5:01 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Meh . . . a few grammatical errors, some parts I didn't understand, and looks to me like an appocolypse story. Overall, 3/5.

Keep trying, though.

  • 09.29.2009 5:21 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

When life gives you lemons, ferment them and get drunk.

The Marines are not main characters. They are only in for that one part. I understand what you mean. Now that i thinka bout it, there is another story ALOT like this that was written before this. Let her sink lads.

  • 09.29.2009 2:06 PM PDT