Halo: Reach Forum
This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo 4: Fall of mankind
  • Subject: Halo 4: Fall of mankind
Subject: Halo 4: Fall of mankind

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: RedAceX
Posted by: Y3Y00
wooow man really cool & nice story!! but it's kinda short but still cool though



well think about it there'd be multiple missions in EACH city which would spread out to about 20-25 missions


EDIT: and by the way I LOVE IT it would be epic as hell cool idea man


That would be long, boring and dull... So it would suit this story 100%.

  • 10.28.2009 11:36 AM PDT

This is amazing, you have so much talent. I've seen a fair few Halo 4 fan fictions in my time, but you wipe the floor with them.

Keep going, you're incredible. Don't be surprised if Bungie contact you offering a job.

  • 10.28.2009 12:08 PM PDT

Wow 2nd page and no "Z0mg n0t m0r3 H@l0 th3r3 wi11 b3 n0 4th g@m3!!!1!!"

Had to say that first. Reading...

EDIT:...

EDIT(after reading paragraphed version): COOL! That would be a pretty cool game Idea, and we only got to fight in urban environments so much: One mission in Halo 2, Prepare to Drop, Tayari Plaza, Kizingo Boulivard, (NMPD HQ?)

I'd love to see LA Glassed (present company excepted, of course) and would like to see some recognizable action, like maybe Freedom Tower in NY 543 years in the future. Put in something we see today or soon tommorow.

EPIC IDEA BY THE WAY

[Edited on 10.28.2009 12:22 PM PDT]

  • 10.28.2009 12:11 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: Wolverfrog
This is amazing, you have so much talent. I've seen a fair few Halo 4 fan fictions in my time, but you wipe the floor with them.

Keep going, you're incredible. Don't be surprised if Bungie contact you offering a job.


Don't patronise me, you bastard!

Love you really, Wolvers ;D

[Edited on 10.28.2009 12:16 PM PDT]

  • 10.28.2009 12:14 PM PDT

Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: Wolverfrog
This is amazing, you have so much talent. I've seen a fair few Halo 4 fan fictions in my time, but you wipe the floor with them.

Keep going, you're incredible. Don't be surprised if Bungie contact you offering a job.


Don't patronise me, you bastardLove you really, Wolvers ;D


I always knew that steady stream of insults was just a way of you masking your true feelings for me :P

I've been ill all half term, so haven't felt like speaking to anyone on Xbox Live. [i]Especially[i] you.

;)

On topic: lulz fail.

  • 10.28.2009 12:17 PM PDT
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i wouldnt mind that haha, and if that dosnt work hey maybe we got ourselfs the next HALO novel

  • 10.28.2009 12:20 PM PDT

Posted by: BADAJING
i wouldnt mind that haha, and if that dosnt work hey maybe we got ourselfs the next HALO novel


:/

No. Just no.

  • 10.28.2009 12:21 PM PDT

i like me...

defeated by the chief by way of A shotgun to the face MULTIPLE times....HAHAHA! awesome!

  • 10.28.2009 12:41 PM PDT

GT= Frost1691
No Group Invites.
Worst idea ever...http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=8664824

I don't like the idea of the ODST squad coming back, stick to super soldiers only please. That's just my opinion, of course and to each his own. Otherwise, it's a nice idea. I always wondered why we all assumed the war would be over just because the Ark was destroyed.

  • 10.28.2009 1:06 PM PDT

I don't join any group that spams me in PM so don't try it.
SPAM applies to anything that is copy and pasted, it is very obvious when you do so don't say you wrote it. Also if you argue with me on the nature of things contained in this signature, you will be blocked and never removed. If you send to me in XBox live you will be Avoided, Blocked, and a complaint will be filed for harassment.

I prefer this one.

  • 10.28.2009 1:17 PM PDT

EON Home Page "Ago in praesens, Pugnax pro posterus" - EON Motto


__________||---------\\________
l -/_\_/_\_/_\_-__-__-____\____\======
|______|/ |_/~```\__\_\__/

Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: RedAceX
Posted by: Y3Y00
wooow man really cool & nice story!! but it's kinda short but still cool though



well think about it there'd be multiple missions in EACH city which would spread out to about 20-25 missions


EDIT: and by the way I LOVE IT it would be epic as hell cool idea man


That would be long, boring and dull... So it would suit this story 100%.


Hey -blam!- since when did you become a professional author? I think he did a good job and he is one of my friends so step off and find something better to do with your time than to try to feel better about yourself by criticizing others when really youre jealous that YOU didnt think of it first.

Good story Raptor, Ill talk to you later on xbox. =)

  • 10.28.2009 1:48 PM PDT

I'm the cult of personality,
I call it like i see it, if i feel the need to be blunt and to the point, then i will, if i feel the need to be very detailed, i will, im here to stay and im here to do things my way, if you respect that or not is your choice, not mine,
and don't worry, while i don't agree with everyone's opinion, i do respect everyone's opinion.

what does this have to do with Halo Reach?

  • 10.28.2009 1:52 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: The x Rebellion
Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: RedAceX
Posted by: Y3Y00
wooow man really cool & nice story!! but it's kinda short but still cool though



well think about it there'd be multiple missions in EACH city which would spread out to about 20-25 missions


EDIT: and by the way I LOVE IT it would be epic as hell cool idea man


That would be long, boring and dull... So it would suit this story 100%.


Hey -blam!- since when did you become a professional author? I think he did a good job and he is one of my friends so step off and find something better to do with your time than to try to feel better about yourself by criticizing others when really youre jealous that YOU didnt think of it first.

Good story Raptor, Ill talk to you later on xbox. =)


I'm an avid reader and writer myself, actually. Sorry, but I'm allowed to express my opinion and just because you don't like it, doesn't mean I'm going to chnage it.

Sorry but it was completely far-fetched. Maybe you should read the edited version half way down page 1 and read my annotations.

  • 10.28.2009 1:55 PM PDT

Posted by: The x Rebellion
Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: RedAceX
Posted by: Y3Y00
wooow man really cool & nice story!! but it's kinda short but still cool though



well think about it there'd be multiple missions in EACH city which would spread out to about 20-25 missions


EDIT: and by the way I LOVE IT it would be epic as hell cool idea man


That would be long, boring and dull... So it would suit this story 100%.


Hey -blam!- since when did you become a professional author? I think he did a good job and he is one of my friends so step off and find something better to do with your time than to try to feel better about yourself by criticizing others when really youre jealous that YOU didnt think of it first.


Check, and mate.

:/

Really, this was terrible. The OP has potential, but as of now, its untapped.

  • 10.28.2009 1:57 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

You want a well written an fiction? Here's what I began working on a while back, the prologue anyways...


PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS

FALL OF GRACE


MAY GETS REJECTED
It was a beautiful summer day at Half-Blood Hill. The large strawberry fields were occupied by several Naiads -nature spirits that inhabit many forest areas- who were picking the strawberries and placing them in boxes which were being taken into a large white van tagged "Delphi Strawberry Services".

Atop Half-Blood Hill was the wonderful view of Long Island Sound, the estuary of the Atlantic Ocean between Connecticut and Long Island. Protected by magical boarders, was Camp Half-Blood itself.
A withered wooden sign was stuck in the ground, it said:

"Keeping young heroes safe from harm (mostly) for over three millennia."

Camp Half-Blood is a special camp for demigods who are usually found by satyrs and chased down by monsters- and it is directed by the Olympian god Dionysus, aka Mr. D.

A set of twelve cabins could be seen in the distance, each one honouring a certain major god: Demeter, Dionysus, Hermes, Ares, Athena, Apollo, Aphrodite, Hephaestus and Hera. The twelfth cabin is honorary to Artemis but she swore to remain a maiden forever and is only used whenever her Hunters (the eternal girls club) are at Camp Half-Blood.

A large amphitheatre served as the sword arena and training grounds, it definitely looked about three thousand years old as the marble stone was now wither warn and crumbling. A single rock wall stood as a rock climbing challenge, where the campers would have to avoid being scorched by hot lava, a typical day in the life of a demigod.

Other places included the Archery Range, the picnic area, the dark forest wood -where the monsters hang out during the night-, the Pegasus stables Pegasi are basically winged horses- and the Big House.
The Big House is just the name for the large farm house in the middle of everything; the attic houses the Oracle spirit of Delphi, other than that it's home to Mr D and the activities director, Chiron.

Chiron stood at the porch of the Big House; he is a centaur that has taught many legendary heroes in the history of Greek mythology: Achilles, Hercules, Asclepius and many others. He stood next to Hermes the Greek god of travellers, messengers and thieves. He wore a simple jogging outfit with winged sandals that were fluttering aimlessly, as if he was agitated. Beside them was a pretty woman with striking blonde hair, shining eyes and a warm friendly smile that could make anyone feel good. She carried a blue bundle with a sleeping baby in it.

"It's an honour to have you here," Chiron said to the woman, though he sounded nervous. "It's been a long time since a mortal was allowed at camp."

"Don't encourage her," Hermes grumbled. "May, you can't do this."

"Oh don't worry so much," May said, rocking the baby. "You need an Oracle, don't you? The old one's been dead for what, twenty years?"

"Longer," Chiron said gravely.

Hermes raised his arms in exasperation. "I didn't tell you that story so you could apply. It's dangerous. Chiron, tell her."

"It is," Chiron warned. "For many years, I have forbidden anyone from trying. We don't know exactly what's happened. Humanity seems to have lost the ability to host the Oracle."

"We've been through that," May said. "And I know I can do it. Hermes, this is my chance to do something good. I've been given the gift of sight for a reason."

Hermes looked at May, slightly hurt by what she was saying. "You couldn't marry if you became the Oracle," he complained. "You couldn't see me anymore."

May put her hand on his arm. "I can't have you forever, can I? You'll move on soon. You're immortal."

He started to protest, but she put her hand on his chest. "You know it's true! Don't try to spare my feelings. Besides, we have a wonderful child. I can still raise Luke if I'm the Oracle, right?"

Chiron coughed. "Yes, but in all fairness I don't know how that will affect the spirit of the Oracle. A woman who has already borne a child as far as I know, this has never been done before. If the spirit does not take "

"It will," May insisted.

May Castellan kissed her baby and handed the bundle to Hermes. "I'll be right back."
She gave them one last confident smile and climbed the steps, leaving Hermes looking worried and fearful.

The god and the centaur paced around in complete silence, Hermes was tapping his caduceus -in the form of a cell phone- nervously. Suddenly, the baby began to squirm and cry; Hermes tried to comfort the child but looked up as a cold wind swept through the strawberry fields.
The campers stopped what they were doing and looked up at the green smoke that lit the windows of the Big House, Hermes realised what was going on and cried, "No! NO!"

He thrust the baby into Chiron's arms and sprinted towards the Big House, his sandals fluttering and lifting him off the ground for a second. Before he reached the porch, the sun disappeared behind the clouds and the once beautiful afternoon was shattered by May Castellan's terrified scream.

  • 10.28.2009 1:58 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: The x Rebellion
Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: RedAceX
Posted by: Y3Y00
wooow man really cool & nice story!! but it's kinda short but still cool though



well think about it there'd be multiple missions in EACH city which would spread out to about 20-25 missions


EDIT: and by the way I LOVE IT it would be epic as hell cool idea man


That would be long, boring and dull... So it would suit this story 100%.


Hey -blam!- since when did you become a professional author? I think he did a good job and he is one of my friends so step off and find something better to do with your time than to try to feel better about yourself by criticizing others when really youre jealous that YOU didnt think of it first.


Check, and mate.

:/

Really, this was terrible. The OP has potential, but as of now, its untapped.


And that was about a year ago I began writing that... I hope this guy insulting me will check out the Gallery when I begin re-writing it...

*

And, hey, remember Murph's review?

AJ, you've been, by far, the most supportive person I've met on this site. From the moment I saw your story in the General Forum I knew you were a great writer, but you've also been a great friend along the way.

And so, I present a full review of Honour of a Heretic: Shackles of Blasphemy.

The first thing I noticed about this piece was the realistic, flowing dialogue. It makes the story seem real, like you're actually the main character talking casually at some times, but not too casual, so to speak. There are times when speaking like you're talking with your friend is mandatory, while other times it's appropriate to have an uber-awesome catchline, which you did at the right moments all the way through the story.

Another key element to the story was your pinpoint description of the Covenant. We, as fanfiction writers, often overlook the fact that non-avid halo fans will not know of a Prophet's capabilities or what a Sangheili bed looks like (that part you made up, I'm guessing--you still made it flow like it was real though)

Your ending was precious. Cliff hanger to an end of a novel? You, sir, just earned yourself a Halo 2 cookie. I bet every reader that followed the story that far will be looking forward to your closing the gap between the two novels.

One thing I'd like to point out though is that once or twice I didn't really know where I was. I understood the general place (e.g, the Dreadnaught) but I couldn't get a great visual of the room. That and a few minor spelling errors are about the only things I can suggest.

Lastly, the storyline was great. I like the character change from beginning to end, although I wouldn't have minded a few more chapters. Next time :D?

Your a great writer and I can see you going far if it's what you want to do. I wish you luck and hope to see you around here and FanFicFactor until I'm eighty.

Peace,

~Murph


[Edited on 10.28.2009 2:04 PM PDT]

  • 10.28.2009 1:59 PM PDT

Roses are RED, violets are BLUE
all my BASES are belong to YOU!

Posted by: Longsword049
here is a bit of info (only to help I don't want to be an ass)

Lord hood most likely will already be dead.

because 50 years later after the halo3 events marines visit the Museum and talk about chief and how he was never seen again...

what if this story of yours takes place..60 years later...chief is in cryo in a crashed ship on a strange forruner planet.

just throwing out some ideas is all.

  • 10.28.2009 2:04 PM PDT
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Posted by: Sigma617
Hmmmm.. a level in L.A? that place deserves to be glassed....
amen and ya good story

  • 10.28.2009 2:11 PM PDT

I'm the cult of personality,
I call it like i see it, if i feel the need to be blunt and to the point, then i will, if i feel the need to be very detailed, i will, im here to stay and im here to do things my way, if you respect that or not is your choice, not mine,
and don't worry, while i don't agree with everyone's opinion, i do respect everyone's opinion.

Posted by: ajw34307
And that was about a year ago I began writing that... I hope this guy insulting me will check out the Gallery when I begin re-writing it...
that guy that was insulting you is most likely a troll let him be try to ignore him

dont let a troll get to you ok =)

  • 10.28.2009 2:15 PM PDT

Stop PMing me if you are group recruiting.

A Halo 4 should focus on the Arbiter and the Covenant Schism.

  • 10.28.2009 2:16 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: Insane AlphaBeta
Posted by: ajw34307
And that was about a year ago I began writing that... I hope this guy insulting me will check out the Gallery when I begin re-writing it...
that guy that was insulting you is most likely a troll let him be try to ignore him

dont let a troll get to you ok =)


Certainly, he shan't get to me. If you look at Wolverfrog's posts and mine thereafter, I'd say there's nothing for him to insult.

  • 10.28.2009 2:21 PM PDT