- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
I was marking my calendar for the December 12, 2009 preview of "Halo Reach" on Spike TV until I had this nightmarish vision. Please bear with me on this one.
As the theatre filled with countless fans of the Halo Universe, the host announces "Halo Reach"'s preview.
"Good evening Halo fans everywhere! In the past decade, we have witnessed the evolution of combat as a Spartan, defended New Mombasa as an ODST, and finished the fight against the Covenant and the Flood. Today, my friends, I have the honor of introducing you to a new experience for all gamers out there. I bring to you "HALO REACH"!!!!!!!
The crowd goes wild with applause and cheer. The host signals for the operators to pull back the curtains on the huge projector screen. He also signals them to launch the video. The crowd goes silent.
The image slowly brightens to a view of the planet Reach as the Halo Theme is played. It slowly zooms in on the planet's surface to the face of a fully armored Spartan holding an Assault Rifle. The audience looks on in great excitement. The Spartan mutters a few words to himself.
"We have seen war as well as hell..."
The audience is glued to their seats.
"But today we shall be-"
All of a sudden, the screen goes blank. The audience is surprised. The audience then hears music playing, but it is not music from Halo. It is music from Rick Astley's song "Never Gonna Give You Up". The music stops momentarily and the screen brightens up to show the Bungie 7 with musical intruments and the voice-actors of Halo. One of the Bungie 7, behind a drum set, shouts out the words "YOU JUST GOT RICKROLLED!" The Bungie 7 play their instruments as the voice-actors danced. They were all singing "Never Gonna Give You Up". A portion of the audience fainted while the rest rose up in anger and rage. The host commits suicide, knowing he may recieve some of the blame.
"You actually thought we would make another game? HA HA!" laughed the Bungie 7.
The next day, every Halo game in the world was removed from the market, the Halo books have been burned in mass book burnings, and even Halo related merchandise was thrown into the sea. Halo Machinimators destroyed their computers and labtops, Bnet Members started mass suicides, and Halo Players formed an angry mob to eliminate all those responsible for the preview.
Within a week, the voice-actors have been hunted down and mutilated. Their body parts have been fed to the buzzards. The Bungie 7 suffered a fate even worse. Microsoft was held at gunpoint to cancel all its Halo projects.
I hope this vision does not come true. What do you think will happen?
[Edited on 11.21.2009 3:19 PM PST]