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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo: The Assault of Earth ***FanFic***
  • Subject: Halo: The Assault of Earth ***FanFic***
Subject: Halo: The Assault of Earth ***FanFic***

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Shadow's (Internet) Myths
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Steam Username: xxxZealot (Add me <3)
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NB:

Hey there. Just a note before I start this story. It is 100% Non-Cannoncal to the Halo Universe. So, Dont say: "OMFG! That Cant Happen. He wasnt there when That Happened He was Dead." I am just doing this for fun and. . . well, Yeah. And it will probably be short and Sweet.

Oh Yeah, A Bit about the story:

They are a Team of Spartan IV's (YES 4's.) Genetically Enhanced super Soldiers. The year is 2564. The Covenant are back. And are ready to Assault Earth once again.

I dont know. Lets see how it turns out. Im looking for Comments on Improvement and all that. Or Just comment to say "Nice Job" or whatever. Thanks and Enjoy.

Btw, This is my first go at writing a FANFIC. So sorry, If i Suck. =) Also, The Prologue isnt all that good, and not that long. :)

I may or may not continue with it, Depends. :)


Chapter List
Note: I will provide links if chapter is on seperate page

Prologue: Here we go again. . .



Prologue: Here we go again. . .

UNSC Cloud Nine
In Orbit over Earth, New Mombassa.
January 28 - 2564

~Cpt. William Harding~

As I looked outside the observation deck at the war-torn New Mombassa I pitied all the Brave people who had lost their lives during the Covenant-Human war.
My brother had lost his life serving for the UNSC. He was aboard the UNSC Cold Summit, when the Covenant destroyed it with their Pulse Cannons.

That was 11 Years ago. After we had defeated the Covenant and sent them squirming back to their hole where they belong, a New. . . Well, Old . . . Enemy surfaced.

The Inssurectionists. We were winning the War so far. But the "new" war had also put something back into business.

The Spartans. Yes, The Spartans were back. A new Breed. Upgraded everything. Stronger, Faster and not to mention more Cunning. They were the Spartan - IVs.

We had a group on our Ship right now. The "Best" group, apparently. Lead by Spartan - 528. Jason. He is apparently, The BEST spartan ever.

Then Spartan-566 Dylan. Spartan-512 Leo. Spartan-963 Olivia. And Lastly, Spartan-502. Ashley.

I am the Captain of The UNSC Destoyer: Cloud Nine. I had seen my share of battles. Friends lost, Enemys die, Family slaughted.

War wasnt something you won. War is something you hate.

Thats why the words that flowed from the A.I "Zeus" scared me to death.

"Sir, The scans have come back. You arent going to like this..." Zeus said in a mighty,fearless voice.

"What have you come back with Zeus?" I said, my voice sounding shakey.

"The shadows we picked up. I have calculated them. They arent Insurrectionist ships..." Zeus said, swaying his Lightning bolt , which he was holding, side to side. Much like the greek god would have.

"You surely dont me-" I stumbled, but was cut off by the sound of alarms sounding throughout the deck of "Cloud Nine".

"Does that answer your Question, Captain?" Zeus asked.

"Not again... All Personal to Battle stations. NOW!" I shouted through the intercom.

"Zeus, Inform FLEETcom and Lord Stanley that the Covenant are back." I ordered.

"And bring the ship to full alert."I continued.

"Would you like tea with that?" Zeus asked smugly.

"I DONT Have time for your smart comments, Zeus." I said sternly.

"Aye-Aye Captain. Sorry." The AI said apologetically.

"Ready the MAC shot, Leuitenant Bower." I yelled at Wesly Bower.

As the CCS-class Covenant cruiser got closer, and as the Men aboard "Cloud Nine" Scrambled to their battle stations, I had only one last line before all Hell broke loose.

"Here we go again..."

The MAC fired, sending a Huge Slug into the CCS cruisers hull at 50% the speed of light.

  • 12.09.2009 2:31 AM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

The writing is actually pretty good. Don't worry, im not going to lecture you on Halo history, but I am going to say that pepole enjoy stories that go ALONG with the history, so they can look at it as a continuation. You have some errors with your speach. You hit enter every time he starts a new line, but you only have to do that when you are switching speakers. I am sorry if I am being hard on you. As a first try, the writing is impressive. CERTAINLY better than my first try.

[Edited on 12.09.2009 9:50 PM PST]

  • 12.09.2009 4:52 AM PDT

The return of the Covenant? Seems like a very weak and predicatable premise for a story. The actual writing is decent enough, but the plot seems bad.

  • 12.09.2009 8:17 AM PDT

"Find The Bomb?!
Find The Bomb?!
I'm Looking For The Flag!
What The Heck Is Assualt!?"

Glory me! The Major and Wolver both before me, I better make this comment good.

First off, I couldn't stop laughing because I thought of the A.I.'s name as Jesus when you called it Zeus.

Anyways, it is well enough written, nothing pops out. And over all the story is a bit thin, "Is is a friendly, no an insurrectionist, no it's the Covenant!"

Just stuff happens with little pretext, and if you keep this premise you need to have an awesomely amazing prologue or second explaining chapter to support it.

And you kind of just at one point started saying stuff:

We have spartans! Hooray!

We're fighting rebels... boo!

The covenants back, oh no!

You should be more artful in how you introduce people and things.

  • 12.09.2009 4:09 PM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

Posted by: Buggy Virus
Glory me! The Major and Wolver both before me, I better make this comment good.

First off, I couldn't stop laughing because I thought of the A.I.'s name as Jesus when you called it Zeus.

Anyways, it is well enough written, nothing pops out. And over all the story is a bit thin, "Is is a friendly, no an insurrectionist, no it's the Covenant!"

Just stuff happens with little pretext, and if you keep this premise you need to have an awesomely amazing prologue or second explaining chapter to support it.

And you kind of just at one point started saying stuff:

We have spartans! Hooray!

We're fighting rebels... boo!

The covenants back, oh no!

You should be more artful in how you introduce people and things.


Well said Buggy. Personally, I think you should restart with a plot abiding story. People like those because when they read it they think, "So thats how it happened!" Or, "Uh oh, I sorta know whats gunna happen next but not really!" It get's people going. Assuming you have read the books, You can also make a story that tells the reader what happens next.

  • 12.09.2009 4:29 PM PDT