- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Serisouly. Hi-larious.
Ok. So, back in the day when the Alaska pipe line had just gotten started, a redneck Texan thought it'd be a great idea to go work on the pipe lines. So he packed up all of his redneck Texan stuff and hitched a ride on a train going north(duh).
Anyways, when he got there, it was fall. Very cold, but not snowing or anything. Anyways, he came across an eskimo who was fishing with nothing but his pinky finger.
"What're you doin'?," asked the Texan.
"I am fishing with but my pinky finger," said the eskimo man. "It's how real men do it."
"WHAT? You're just an eskimo! We Texans are the toughest around!"
"Oh, really?" said the eskimo. "Well. I'll tell you what, we eskimos have a little 'tough' test that all us men have to take. If you pass this test, you'll be dubbed toughest around."
"Fine, you're on!" shoutes the Texan.
"Good. You must complete these three tests: First, you must catch a large male salmon with only your pinky finger. Then, you must wrestle a full grown polar bear. And after that, you must 'make love' to an eskimo woman!"
"Alrighty, I can do your tests."
He comes in later that day with a huge 50lb salmon.
"Here's your salmon. Now, I'm off to find a polar bear."
"Good luck."
Four days later, the Texan comes back. He is a total wreck! He looks as if he'd been through a shredder. His clothes were cut up, he was bleeding, only had one boot on. He was panting like he had just run fifty miles through the snow.
The Texan limped into the eskimos house, "So..." he said panting, "Where's this eskimo woman I'm supposed to wrestle?"