Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Best Texan Joke, Ever.
  • Subject: Best Texan Joke, Ever.
Subject: Best Texan Joke, Ever.
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Serisouly. Hi-larious.

Ok. So, back in the day when the Alaska pipe line had just gotten started, a redneck Texan thought it'd be a great idea to go work on the pipe lines. So he packed up all of his redneck Texan stuff and hitched a ride on a train going north(duh).

Anyways, when he got there, it was fall. Very cold, but not snowing or anything. Anyways, he came across an eskimo who was fishing with nothing but his pinky finger.

"What're you doin'?," asked the Texan.

"I am fishing with but my pinky finger," said the eskimo man. "It's how real men do it."

"WHAT? You're just an eskimo! We Texans are the toughest around!"

"Oh, really?" said the eskimo. "Well. I'll tell you what, we eskimos have a little 'tough' test that all us men have to take. If you pass this test, you'll be dubbed toughest around."

"Fine, you're on!" shoutes the Texan.

"Good. You must complete these three tests: First, you must catch a large male salmon with only your pinky finger. Then, you must wrestle a full grown polar bear. And after that, you must 'make love' to an eskimo woman!"

"Alrighty, I can do your tests."

He comes in later that day with a huge 50lb salmon.

"Here's your salmon. Now, I'm off to find a polar bear."

"Good luck."

Four days later, the Texan comes back. He is a total wreck! He looks as if he'd been through a shredder. His clothes were cut up, he was bleeding, only had one boot on. He was panting like he had just run fifty miles through the snow.

The Texan limped into the eskimos house, "So..." he said panting, "Where's this eskimo woman I'm supposed to wrestle?"


  • 07.27.2004 1:51 PM PDT

XBL: FTG Spartan
But you were dead a thousand times. Hopeless encounters successfully won. A man long dead, grafted to machines your builders did not understand. You follow the path, fitting in to an infinite pattern.
Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.
Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time.
I know who you are.
You are Destiny.

Not bad.

  • 07.27.2004 1:55 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Thats awesome!!!!

  • 07.27.2004 1:55 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Do a Polish joke next, they are funnier than Texans and Eskimos combined!

  • 07.27.2004 1:55 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

No.

  • 07.27.2004 1:56 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Good joke

  • 07.27.2004 1:56 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

That isn't a joke. That's just Banshee Barron raping a donkey. Still funny, though.

  • 07.27.2004 1:58 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Well that would of been funny but I just heard that joke yesterday, seriously. It was a little different but mostly the same. Now here's a joke for you americans. I'm sorry if you're a mexican because this joke really burns you.

Q:Why was there only 25,000 mexicans at the alamo (I don't know if there was actually that many but there was just a lot)

A:They (mexicans) only had one truck!

Sorry if you heard that one already but I like that joke. Might as well tell a joke if you post in this thread.

  • 07.27.2004 1:58 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

HA!!! good one even though it is making fun of me

  • 07.27.2004 2:03 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Nah, I'm Texan, too. I got it from my dad(redneck Texan).

  • 07.27.2004 2:07 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

That texan joke was good.

  • 07.27.2004 2:13 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

greenchief you live in moscow russia your not texan

  • 07.27.2004 2:21 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: heck hole
greenchief you live in moscow russia your not texan

he is from texas.

  • 07.27.2004 2:22 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

im texan....o ur one too...in that case HAHAHAHAH

  • 07.27.2004 2:23 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Thanks for the newsflash. I had no idea I lived in Russia! I have seen the light! I'm FROM Texas, jackass. But I now reside in Russia. When you have no idea what you're talking about, don't say anything. It makes you seem less stupid.

  • 07.27.2004 2:23 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

sorry man but anyway I asumed

  • 07.27.2004 2:25 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

You know what they say when you assume...

  • 07.27.2004 2:28 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

no i don't

  • 07.27.2004 2:31 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

DNA. Do Not Assume.

  • 07.27.2004 2:32 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

point made

  • 07.27.2004 2:33 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

That was lame.

Is it just me, or do you reach a certain point where you can predict the punchline of any joke?

  • 07.27.2004 2:38 PM PDT

With B.B. gone, the passion of Bungie.net has lessened.

I'm all for good jokes... but not ones where a certain group is stereotyped.

Stereotypes suck and can often make people angry.... lets try to stay away from them. I doubt Bungie likes these types of things, either.

  • 07.27.2004 2:58 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Yes it can but heres one I never predicted True story here people, Well I was at the Athletics Baseball field in Cali. And I saw this dude wearing a T-shirt with a big picture of George Bush's head on it all smiling and I thought to my self. "God they guy must be republican" So I turned my head over my shoulder and saw one of the single most funniest lines ever. "Somewhere in texas... A village is missing it's idiot."

  • 07.27.2004 3:01 PM PDT

Posted by: GreenChief
That isn't a joke. That's just Banshee Barron raping a donkey. Still funny, though.


I swear you're out to get me, Green Chief. First that donkey thing and now a Texas joke when I'm from Texas.

;-)

  • 07.27.2004 3:05 PM PDT