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  • Subject: Halo: Second Coming - Prologue available!
Subject: Halo: Second Coming - Prologue available!

Honor Light Your Way, Our Blood Shall Forge A Thousand Generations!.

The war still rages on. The Elites, factions of Grunts, and Humans have formed an alliance known as the "Interspecies Galactic Command". As a result of Earth's collonies being glassed, the Elites have allowed Humans to colonize their worlds, in order to improve relations.

The Brutes still walk "The Path", and swear revenge upon the Humans and Elites for murdering their holy Prophets. In an attempt to push the vicious Brutes back, ONI Section Three and the Sangehili Parliament have agreed upon a fourth SPARTAN project, consisting of both Humans and Elites.

However, deep outside of the reaches of the galaxy, a new threat forms... one far worse than both the IGC or the Covenant could have anticipated.


Chapter Selection

Prologue

  • 12.20.2009 2:19 PM PDT

Honor Light Your Way, Our Blood Shall Forge A Thousand Generations!.

The following chapter is seen from the eyes of a six year old. Please keep that in mind while reading. Thank you.

Prologue

Spartan IV training facility, Carribean
August 7th, year 2554, 1600 hours


My legs hurt. The man with the stick told me that the hurting will be a lot worse. I don't want it to. It hurts so bad but I can't stop it. If I stop, they just hit me and make me hurt even more.

So I have to keep running with the other kids. It's the only thing I like doing. The running. I'm very fast. Maybe even the fastest out of everyone. Doctor Lynus says that's why he picked me to be a SPARTAN. He says that SPARTANs are very strong soldiers that can do anything and not get hurt. I want to be a SPARTAN. Mister Trescott tells me that I have to be strong if I want to be one. I told him that I am.

Maybe that's why my legs keep working. Because I'm strong. Or maybe I'm just scared of the big sticks the grown-ups hit us with if we stop. We only stop for water and for a little break. We better have one soon, because my legs hurt.

"At ease!" screams Mister Trescott. That means stop. I slow down and let my legs feel good for a little bit. They're going to hurt tomorrow, but Mister Trescott says there's no time like the present. I don't know what that means, but I want a present. I want to see my mommy and daddy. But Mister Trescott says that's not going to happen. He says that this is my new home now, with these other kids. I look around. There's a long field up ahead, with four flags at the end.

"We're doing something today, boots," Mister Trescott says. He calls us boots for some reason. I don't know why. "Each of you divide into four lines. On the double." I follow the other kids and we make four lines. I'm in the front of mine. The ones who are too slow get hit by the scary sticks. It's a good thing I'm fast. "Now, when I say 'go', I want the first person from each line to run over to the flags over there, take one, and run back. Got it?" I shake my head with the other kids. I look to my right and see Nicole. She's really pretty. "Good. Go!"

I tell my legs to work for just a little bit longer. I know that if I lose I'm going to get hit with the scary stick. But then I think about Nicole. I don't want her to get hit. But I don't want to get hit either. I've done this before. Mister Trescott calls it a "one hundred yard dash". I don't know what that is, but I do know that I have to run. I grab the flag and start to run all the way back. When I get back Mister Trescott whistles, and tells me to come over. I do what he says.

"Do you have any idea what you just did, boy?" he asks. I think he's mad for a second.

"N-- no, sir." I say back, hoping he won't hit me with the stick. He just laughs.

"Well, take a look," he holds up a stopwatch and lets me see the numbers. The numbers say 26.74. I don't know why it's such a big deal. "Son, you know how fast you were going?" I shake my head, thinking I'm still in trouble. He laughs again. "Very fast, Brandon," he says, petting my hair with a smile. "Very fast."

[Edited on 12.20.2009 3:02 PM PST]

  • 12.20.2009 2:22 PM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

Cool! I love it! It shows a lot of promise :D

  • 12.20.2009 2:51 PM PDT

I dislike the present tense and perspective of a six year old. It makes it seem corny.

Nice premise, but I hope the style changes.

  • 12.20.2009 3:53 PM PDT

Honor Light Your Way, Our Blood Shall Forge A Thousand Generations!.

Of course it's going to change.

"Halo: The Adventures of the Six Year Old Spartan!"

No. This is the only chapter that'll include Brandon being six years old. It's only to kick off the story.

I tried to get some foreshadowing done via the prologue. Is there any indications you might have picked up, Wolver?

[Edited on 12.20.2009 3:59 PM PST]

  • 12.20.2009 3:54 PM PDT

I look to my right and see Nicole. She's really pretty.

What.

I just noticed that, and it seemed very out of place. I don't know about you Smurf, but when I was six years old I wasn't at all interested in girls.

:/

And please don't write it in present tense. It's a crappy tense.

  • 12.20.2009 4:04 PM PDT

Honor Light Your Way, Our Blood Shall Forge A Thousand Generations!.

ROFL!

That gave me a pretty crazy mental image... Nicole won't be playing a huge role in the story. And that wasn't the foreshadowing I was indicating, but rather what Brandon's position will be as a Spartan.

And I'll be swtching to past tense. I felt Present tense made the six year old feel seem more believable.

  • 12.20.2009 4:06 PM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

I dunno man. Nobody has done it on this website, and it can be done very well if you have the skill. I think it might be a good expirement.

  • 12.20.2009 4:07 PM PDT

Posted by: Dead Major
I dunno man. Nobody has done it on this website, and it can be done very well if you have the skill. I think it might be a good expirement.


No.

Present tense isn't like pioneering with first person. Present tense sucks. Period. No amount of skill will change that.

  • 12.20.2009 4:09 PM PDT

Honor Light Your Way, Our Blood Shall Forge A Thousand Generations!.

I suggest picking up a copy of Darren Shan's "The Demonata", Wolver. Present tense, and he pulls it off well.

But I'll be using past tense. Also, no more sidebar conversations or comments unless it is regarding my story directly. We don't want another Foman incident.

  • 12.20.2009 4:11 PM PDT

~

Posted by: Wolverfrog
I look to my right and see Nicole. She's really pretty.

What.

I just noticed that, and it seemed very out of place. I don't know about you Smurf, but when I was six years old I wasn't at all interested in girls.

:/

And please don't write it in present tense. It's a crappy tense.

I was interested when I was three lol...

  • 12.20.2009 10:01 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: Wolverfrog
I look to my right and see Nicole. She's really pretty.

What.

I just noticed that, and it seemed very out of place. I don't know about you Smurf, but when I was six years old I wasn't at all interested in girls.

:/


WHAT?!

Really? Of course I can kind of predict that but wow... And that's not something really to be proud of.

[Edited on 12.21.2009 2:57 AM PST]

  • 12.21.2009 2:45 AM PDT

Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: Wolverfrog
I look to my right and see Nicole. She's really pretty.

What.

I just noticed that, and it seemed very out of place. I don't know about you Smurf, but when I was six years old I wasn't at all interested in girls.

:/


WHAT?!

Really? Of course I can kind of predict that but wow... And that's not something really to be proud of.


I know you're probably the sort of person who had a "girlfriend" when you were 5 years old Alex. Not everyone is as prude as you.

:)

  • 12.21.2009 3:59 AM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: ajw34307
Posted by: Wolverfrog
I look to my right and see Nicole. She's really pretty.

What.

I just noticed that, and it seemed very out of place. I don't know about you Smurf, but when I was six years old I wasn't at all interested in girls.

:/


WHAT?!

Really? Of course I can kind of predict that but wow... And that's not something really to be proud of.


I know you're probably the sort of person who had a "girlfriend" when you were 5 years old Alex. Not everyone is as prude as you.

:)



HA! If only... And I know all too well that wasn't a compliment.

I always had the company of both sexes in my friend group and probably alway will. I don't even notice it when I flirt... But never mind that!

[Edited on 12.21.2009 7:27 AM PST]

  • 12.21.2009 7:25 AM PDT