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  • Subject: @Story@ The Bones of You~ Chapter 2.
Subject: @Story@ The Bones of You~ Chapter 2.
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Authors note: This is my first attempt at a Reallly in detail story. I hope you enjoy.

Prolouge

The Sleepy suburb of Hitchin was quiet, It was 2PM in mid summer, the temperature being in the early thirties meant that everyone was just lazing around, not doing anything, soaking in the rays. The Suburb was made up of straight lines of identical Bungalows, which were slowly warming up in the sun.

One bungalow was even more lifeless than the rest. If we enter the lounge of said Bungalow, we find a living room, with a 50 Inch Holo-Television attached to the wall, a couple of comfy relaxation chairs and a single, cloth covered sofa.

Lying on the Sofa, was the slim figure of Rose Ceda, who was slowly breathing, the T.V remote held precariously in her hand. The woman looked like she was in her late twenties, her body slim, but muscled in a way that suggested she liked the gym. Long Blonde hair flapped in front of her mouth as she breathed in, then out. The fact that her head was on one end of the sofa, and her feet sticking off the other end, indicated that if she was standing, Rose would be taller than most people.

By most men's standards, she would be considered 'striking', not a beauty queen, but she had her merits. High cheekbones, smooth skin and blood red lips were her personal favorite, but various admiring men had chosen other things to compliment, some not a subtly as others.

The doorbell rang, her eyes flicked open. These were her favourite part of her appearance. The sky-blue eyes slowly looked around the room, trying to find something hostile. Rose groaned, accidentally dropped the controller and sat up on the sofa, swinging her long legs around so that she could stand up properly. The door bell buzzed again, "okay okay, I'm coming" Rose muttered, her British accent obvious, as she walked towards the door, brushing some of her light blond hair out of her eyes. She yanked the door open, then stared at the person standing on the doorstep. A man was standing on the doorstep, dressed in some light cargo shorts and tank top. His hazel eyes glinting in the sun, as the man stood in a relaxed position, hand on the doorbell.

"Hi" the man said, withdrawing his finger from the button "I see your as gorgeous as ever" Sergeant Thomas Stanton complimented, as the two stood and stared at each other. "Dashing as ever" Rose returned, looking Thomas up-and-down.

She suddenly snapped out of it and looked back up at Thomas's face, "Sorry, where are my manners, come in" She said, stepping out of the way of the door. The 6 foot 4 man walked into the house, his heavy shoes thumping slightly as they landed on the tiled floor. Rose didn't feel a bit intimidated by the heavily muscled man, she had known him for most of her life.

"What can I get you?" Rose asked, as she entered her small kitchen, shiny workplaces reflecting the bright sunlight. "A coffee?" Thomas asked, sitting down at the table, running his hands over the smooth oak. "Silly question wasn't it? You've never had anything but coffee" Rose commented, as she opened her coffee jar, which was used to being opened frequently.

"So, may I enquire as to why you come knocking at my door?" Rose asked, sitting down at the table, across from Thomas and his wide shoulders. The kettle was rumbling in the background, quickly heating up the water for the two coffee's. "It's business, I'm afraid" Thomas said, relaxing back into his chair, the wood creaked slightly as his heavy body rested against it. Rose raised a small eyebrow. "I haven't talked business since '47" Rose stated, her eyes narrow, her mind calculating. "Yeah, well, from now on, it's gonna be nothin' but business" Thomas muttered darkly, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward, business in his eyes.

Que, the kettle boiled. Rose darted up and quickly made the coffee. "Here, biscuit?" Rose asked, holding out a small tin with home-made biscuit's in. Thomas grinned like a six-year old. "I'd never say no to your cooking" He said, picking the biggest biscuit out of the tin. Rose grinned, Thomas hadn't changed a bit in all their time apart.

"So, what's all this business you were going to tell me?" Rose asked, sitting back down, biscuit in one hand, coffee in the other. Thomas took a massive bite out of his biscuit, slowly chewing it as he enjoyed the taste of Rose's cooking. "Hmf...[scrunch] oh yeah" Thomas said, placing the half eaten biscuit down, before turning back into serious mode.

"You see, since the war ended, just under 3 years ago, the innies have come back real strong, they've done some serious damage to some of the new colonies, as well to Perseus, the UNSC's new Reach. Of course HIGHCOM have hushed it up, but -blam!-'s gonna come public some when" Thomas said, half whispering for some reason.

Rose slowly chewed on her biscuit, listening to what her former commander was saying. "Hang on" Rose said, before swallowing her biscuit, "Why are you telling me this?" She asked, getting awfully suspicious about all this classified information which was heading her way. Getting classified intel usually led to some hard as nails mission. Thomas narrowed his eyes further.

"Highcom want Shadow team back" He stated, watching as a look of pure excitement spread across Rose's face. She looked as if she was about to burst with joy. "I get some action, no more lazing my ass of in retirement" Rose said in joy, before her face suddenly darkened. "What about Eridanus II? Have they forgotten about that?" Rose asked, thinking back to the memories of that horrible, botched op, which cost the lives of over 50 Civilians.

"That was long enough ago, anyway they need us back, the Innies are causing some serious damage" Thomas explained.

"When can I join?" Rose asked, as eager to get out of retirement as possible. Thomas smiled, before drinking down his coffee. "I can drive you there now if you want" He offered.

"Let's go" Rose said, jumping up and heading to the front door. It looked liked her seven years of boring retirement, had suddenly come to jarring halt, to be replaced with the old, exciting life. Rose felt like the eager, 19 year old marine, she had once been.

*

Bullets flew around Rose as she ran along, passing through endless lines of barbed-wire. Bullets were flying everywhere, except hitting Rose. A Innie bomber suddenly popped out of nowhere, he was armed with a old, but deadly MA5B. She lifted her ultra-modern MA5G Bullpup Assault Rifle and peppered the man with plasma shots.

The man hit the ground smoking, bullet holes smoking all the way through his body. Rose quickly reloaded, the seven years of retirement showing, as she fumbled with the small magazine, before slapping it into place. Rose continued, through the city, tall skyscrapers surrounded her. She didn't have time to admire the scenery, Innies could be anywhere.

Rose slowly preceded down a thin alleyway, slowly walking towards the enemy HQ. Light was glinting off the tall, silver skyscrapers. There was a long, roar as a Pelican dropship flew over Rose, heading in the opposite direction. She stopped to admire the aircraft as it tore threw the sky, smoke trailing out of it's engine.


Unknown to her, a man armed with a combat knife was slowly stalking her, his padded shoes making no noise on the gravel floor. Rose only knew of him, as she felt his hand cover her mouth. The chilly steel of the blade penetrated Rose's heart. She gasped, trying to find oxygen, which her heart could no longer circulate in her bloodstream.

Her world faded, as she fell to the ground. Rose's heart no longer able to function, due to the steel puncturing it. The world around her faded, as her eyes slowly dimmed......


[Edited on 01.02.2010 5:06 PM PST]

  • 12.29.2009 2:59 PM PDT
Subject: @Story@ The Bones of You~ Prolouge

"Find The Bomb?!
Find The Bomb?!
I'm Looking For The Flag!
What The Heck Is Assualt!?"

*shrugs*

The transition was a bit quick, didn't really care for it, although there wasn't anything wrong with it.

  • 12.29.2009 5:35 PM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

Kewl. You repeated a few things In different word, and In the beggining I was pretty sure they were gunna kiss when the kettle went off, but it wasnt very obvious. He could have been leaning over to emphasize something. It's important to show the feelings in the moment.


[clears throat] Rose's eyes locked with his, and the room fell silent. The seargeant's elbows moved forward, bringing him closer and closer to Rose. As if on que...

Drag the moment out. It makes it more significant, and people will always remember that that happened to them. Romance+action+loss=good. It was also a little rushed. The begining not really but then it snapped into q combat setting that I had no knowlegde about. Then boom knifed. It was like, wait...what just happened? Just slow it down a little. I must say, I enjoyed reading it, and the death left me on the edge :D

[Edited on 12.30.2009 4:30 PM PST]

  • 12.30.2009 4:28 PM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Posted by: Dead Major
Kewl. You repeated a few things In different word, and In the beggining I was pretty sure they were gunna kiss when the kettle went off, but it wasnt very obvious. He could have been leaning over to emphasize something. It's important to show the feelings in the moment.


[clears throat] Rose's eyes locked with his, and the room fell silent. The seargeant's elbows moved forward, bringing him closer and closer to Rose. As if on que...

Drag the moment out. It makes it more significant, and people will always remember that that happened to them. Romance+action+loss=good. It was also a little rushed. The begining not really but then it snapped into q combat setting that I had no knowlegde about. Then boom knifed. It was like, wait...what just happened? Just slow it down a little. I must say, I enjoyed reading it, and the death left me on the edge :D


Awesumz awesumz a review from Dead Major.... not a entirely positive review... but it's still a review from dead major.

Hmm, a bit of a rushed action sequence..... i suppose it was..... I'll try and explain it next chappie.

Review from Dead Major... *Squeals like the fangirl (boy) he is....

  • 12.30.2009 5:26 PM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I think this is bad, I actually really like it. Those are just some things to watch out for. I also really like how the main character is or was a female. As a guy, that isn't easy to do. It's very impressive that you are going for it.

  • 12.30.2009 6:14 PM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Posted by: Dead Major
I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I think this is bad, I actually really like it. Those are just some things to watch out for. I also really like how the main character is or was a female. As a guy, that isn't easy to do. It's very impressive that you are going for it.


I like doing female characters for some reason...

My main character for Spartan Training is female, so i guess i've had some experience.

I'm glad you liked it.

  • 12.30.2009 6:57 PM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Always open to Constructive Criticism and comments.

Explains why the prologue ended so abruptly and introduces Shadow Team. Plus a bit of Character building for Rose.

Chapter 1

The world in which Rose had just died, was slowly disbanding, to be replaced by the holographic green lines, of a world Simulator.

Rose whipped off her simulator glasses, to be met by the face of Thomas, who was tutting and shaking his head. "Where the bloody hell did he come from?" Rose asked furiously, throwing down the glasses in frustration. She was in a simulator suit, the thin fabric stretched across her slim body, nano-sized sensors taking in her slightest twitch.

"He had been stalking you for just over two minutes, we have it on video" Thomas said, motioning to the bank of displays, which were connected to the computer which made the simulated world.

"Give me a motion sensor, or a heartbeat sensor and I would have had him" Rose said, curling her fist into a ball and imagining twisting the man's neck, until it snapped.

"Yeah, well we don't get them on every mission. And anyway, you need to learn how to use your personal sensors. Computers break, humans don't" Thomas said, Rose scowled viciously.

"Well that's a stupid lie, we've broken many Humans" She muttered, before grabbing the glasses back off the table. "Run It again" She said, before strapping the glasses over her head.

*

Rose was zapped back onto the virtual planet. She was in exactly the same position, as she had been in the last time. The Stanchion rifle she was holding, was still cooling down. The corpse of a corrupt official, still leaking fresh blood, the calls of Rebel militia, closing in. She was positioned in a bush, in prime sight of where the officials get out of their cars.

The Stanchion rifle was slung onto her back, as Rose readied her MA5G. They're coming Rose thought, as she waited, aiming down the red dot sight. A man armed with a MA5B slowly came around the corner. Rose was invisible, dressed in ghillie camouflage, she appeared to be part of the foliage. The man, who appeared to be not much more than a boy, nervously looked around the courtyard, before leaving.

Quickly shrugging off the ghillie, Rose proceeded out of the bush and towards the main parade ground. BANG a single M6D bullet entered Rose's back. It instantly cut her spinal cord, severing all nerve contact with Rose's lower body. "-blam!-" She muttered, before falling to the ground.

*

"-blam!-!!!" Rose shouted, throwing the glasses down again. Thomas was again tutting, tapping his foot and with that look on his face.

"Check those corners" He chanted, as Rose silently seethed with anger.

"Oh shut up" Rose said viciously, before struggling out of the holo-suit. "Stupid virtual testing" She muttered, before walking off. The door slammed behind her, Thomas sighed, shook his head, then returned to the displays for a re-run of Rose's run.

*

Tyson wasn't someone who fit in. Standing 6 foot 5 and about as wide as a car, you noticed him if he walked into the room. Rose, with her senses honed from 9 years in the military, could practically feel the disturbance in the air as he walked in. She looked up and saw the massive man. Despite her current anger, Rose couldn't help but smile. He hadn't changed in the time they had been apart. The short, black hair. The angular chin and the heavily tanned skin. He was the ultimate Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator.

"Hi Rosie" He grunted, his distinct southern American accent breaking through in those two words.

"Don't. Ever call me that, or you'll loose something" She told him, a Combat knife appearing magically out of her sleeve. Tyson grinned. "Good to see you too" He said, before entering the door to the holographic room.

*

Thomas was closely inspecting Rose's beautiful body, on the recording of her practice in the holo-world. The recording of the hologram, playing over-and-over . A massive hand suddenly fell on his right shoulder. Thomas jumped, but relaxed when he saw who it belonged to.

"See your up to old habits" Tyson said with a rye smile. Thomas blushed and immediately turned off the screen. "I-i don't know what your talking about" Thomas said, before coughing and looking away.

"Yeah right bro" Tyson said, with a wink and nudge of the shoulder. "So how's it going with you two?" he asked, nodding to the door which had Rose on the other side.

"Same as ever" Thomas said with a sigh, before sitting down on a chair, suddenly looking very tired.

"You two knuckle heads just need to see the obvious" Tyson said, ruffling Thomas' hair like he was a kid.

"Argh, ger'off" Thomas said, knocking Tyson out of the way. The giant man chuckled, but moved away from his pissed off superior commander.


*

Amy bounced up to the front desk, which had a bored looking man sitting behind it. "Yeah?" He asked in a bored voice, slowly chewing on his gum.

"Shadow Team" She said, holding up her identification car. The chewing of the gum stopped imperceptibly , The man handed over a map, before busying himself on his computer. Amy glanced at the map, instantly remembering it all, her photographic memory working perfectly. She walked off down the correct corridor "Saying that, always works" She muttered.

*

The metallic scraping sound of knife sharpening filled the room. Rose was viciously sharpening her new, standard issue combat knife. She hated the way that all new knives, were as blunt as old shoes.

The door creaked open, Rose's best friend walked through the door. The red curly hair, the look which could cause trouble at 200 feet, startling bright blue eyes and freckles. Amy Silvers hadn't changed, she still looked like a excited six-year old.

"Rosie!!" Amy exclaimed excitedly, before running over and delivering a massive hug. It contained surprising pressure for a person of Amy's size. Being five foot seven, meant that Amy was by far the smallest of the group. "How've you been?" Rose asked, after Amy had released him.

"Same as always" Rose replied, rolling her eyes. The door to the holo-room opened and Thomas poked his head out. "Oi, you two, get in here" he said, before disappearing.

"Charming as ever" Amy analyzed, before looking back at Rose. "How's it going between you two?" She asked, Rose groaned and gave her a look.

"We've had 6 hours, what do you think's gonna happen?" She asked, knowing Amy well enough.

"Oh I don't know, maybe you two had a qui-" Amy started. Oh, Rose had just remembered how vulgar Amy could be.

"STOP !!... honestly does your imagination know no bounds?" Rose demanded, sounding scandalized.

"Nope" Amy said simply. "Oh well, we better go see what they want" she said. The two of them went into the holo-room. Thomas was examining a holo-tablet, Tyson was looking over his shoulder at the screen.

"What is it?" Rose asked.

"Our first mission" Thomas stated.

  • 12.31.2009 5:17 PM PDT
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No matter how many seals are killed by sharks a year, it never seems to be enough :D

You forgot to put some periods were they should be, and you put some commas were they shouldn't be, but this was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better. The pacing was great, and it was a nice, smooth read. The characterisation was great, but thomas and tyson are a little similar with the naming. People could confuse them. That doesn't put a dent in the excelence of this. I had alot of fun reading it, and the conversation between rose and amy made me smile :D

  • 12.31.2009 5:32 PM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Posted by: Dead Major
You forgot to put some periods were they should be, and you put some commas were they shouldn't be, but this was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better. The pacing was great, and it was a nice, smooth read. The characterisation was great, but thomas and tyson are a little similar with the naming. People could confuse them. That doesn't put a dent in the excelence of this. I had alot of fun reading it, and the conversation between rose and amy made me smile :D


AWESUMZ!!!!!!!!...*Cough* Yeah thanks....

I must admit i went a bit overboard with the comma's, but i'm sooo happy i'm improving. I'm glad you like the ending convo, it's something i've wanted to do for a long time...

Anyway, next update will be.... soon.!!

  • 12.31.2009 5:49 PM PDT

AL is preventing me from having fun. It is also preventing a lot of people from having fun. People who defend AL say they can live without it. It is obviously unfair in many ways.

SO WHY DON'T WE REMOVE/TWEAK IT?

Also, yes, I do goose.

Very nice. Make moar.

  • 12.31.2009 8:20 PM PDT

"Find The Bomb?!
Find The Bomb?!
I'm Looking For The Flag!
What The Heck Is Assualt!?"

I understand you excited that Dead Major is reading your stuff, but letting us all know by posting what he said isn't very... (oh how should I say this in a way that doesn't sound too angry) Sporting.

Anyways, I don't feel like writing a full review right now so I will try to condense it.

The virtual training thing was kind of weird, not very well done in my opinion of how they were going in and out of it, all that we really got was a break and then they were in it as if they lived there. Felt like I was reading two seperate stories altogether.

And the part when "Rose" was angry felt like I was listening to a nasally teenager. The people in here weren't quite the hardened killer spartans you would expect. More like babysitters. And "Rose" just seemed a little psychotic.

Anyways, sorry for the entirely negative review, it wasn't bad, you didn't have the pitfalls that most do, but giving you accolades isn't a very effective review now is it?

  • 01.01.2010 11:08 AM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

A response to Buggy Virus' review....^

Ahh, now this is the sort of review that is useful to me... Praise is nice, but I need some pointers to show me where I'm going wrong. Right let's field strip it.

[Posted by: Buggy Virus
I understand you excited that Dead Major is reading your stuff, but letting us all know by posting what he said isn't very... (oh how should I say this in a way that doesn't sound too angry) Sporting.


I honestly did not know i was doing this ^... But i'll stop quoting..... Just for Sport.

[Posted by: Buggy Virus

The virtual training thing was kind of weird, not very well done in my opinion of how they were going in and out of it, all that we really got was a break and then they were in it as if they lived there. Felt like I was reading two seperate stories altogether.

^ yep your right there. I didn't like how i did it either, i tried to make it un-detailed so it didn't feel like a story, but i gues I failed miserably... :(. Maybe i'll go back and edit...

[Posted by: Buggy Virus

And the part when "Rose" was angry felt like I was listening to a nasally teenager. The people in here weren't quite the hardened killer spartans you would expect. More like babysitters. And "Rose" just seemed a little psychotic

*Facepalm* Now this^ really is assuming a lot of things. I don't ever remember saying Shadow Team were Spartans.... In fact, somewhere i remember saying, "Like the 19 year old marine she had been once"... But i can understand why you thought they were spartans.... To bad-ass for ordinary marines...

Anyway, I tried to make Rose angry in a way which indicated she hated loosing.... not in the way which made her look like a stroppy teenager.

Thanks for the help, Chapter 2 should be up soon.

  • 01.01.2010 1:40 PM PDT
Subject: @Story@ The Bones of You~ Chapter 1.

"Find The Bomb?!
Find The Bomb?!
I'm Looking For The Flag!
What The Heck Is Assualt!?"

No sorry, what I said before when I talked about Dead Major, forgot he got banned.

I thought you were copying a private message to bump your thread.

I like doing female characters for some reason...

My main character for Spartan Training is female, so i guess i've had some experience.

I'm glad you liked it.


Assuming from this about the Spartans, anyways, I stand by my criticism should they not be spartans and are veteran marines.

[Edited on 01.01.2010 2:21 PM PST]

  • 01.01.2010 2:20 PM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Posted by: Buggy Virus
Assuming from this about the Spartans, anyways, I stand by my criticism should they not be spartans and are veteran marines.


I understand the reasoning and partly agree. I'll work on making them more marine-like.

  • 01.01.2010 2:23 PM PDT
Subject: @Story@ The Bones of You~ Chapter 2.
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Chapter 2

There was silence, as everyone registered what Thomas had said. "That's stupid" Rose stated, "we've only been back together for six hours" Rose said disgustedly, Amy raised her eyebrows in amusement. "What they got for us?" The redhead asked.

"Interrogation mission" Thomas said, holding out the pad for the girls to read.

*
10-Minutes later.

"He's just a kid" Amy observed coldly, as she stared through the one-way glass. All the bounce had gone out of her step. "We've never done a kid before" Tyson commented, as he slowly strapped himself into his old set of interrogation gear. Thomas sighed and ran his hand through his short hair, "oh well, I'll just have to take a different approach" he said, rolling up his shirt-sleeves.

Rose cleared her throat so that everyone looked at her, she locked eyes with Thomas. "May I remind you who has a 87% success rate at interrogation" she said, with a flutter of her long eyelashes. Amy and Tyson smirked, they had seen Rose do this many times.... It was very effective.

"I don't know Rose, it's been awhile, you might have gone rusty" Thomas said. Tyson nudged Amy with a wink. "Hey Coach, Rosie is the best. I'm sure she'll get the information" Tyson chipped in. Rose spun around and gave Tyson a death stare. "What. Did I say about calling me that" She snarled at him, laying a thin finger on the mans massive chest. The large man grinned, not afraid of Rose.

"Okay Rose, this is your op" Thomas said with a resigned sigh, before sitting down and resting his head in his hands. The tall blonde picked up the mission pad and started reading up on the boy she about to interrogate.

*

"Hey Hulk, you ready" Rose asked Tyson, using his codename. The massive man was now dressed in a Army uniform, with many cruel looking weapons of torture strapped around his belt. The sharp steel glinted in the light. "Ready when you are Fox" Tyson replied to Rose, just as he pulled a long sharp knife out of it's sheath, Tyson licked the blade. Rose took in a deep breath, before Tyson pushed open the heavy steel door.

The interrogation room was simple. Two chairs, a table and a dim light. A boy sat in one of the chairs, looking around nervously. The cold sweat on his brow glinted, as he turned to look at the opening door. He whimpered slightly when Tyson stepped in, the metal of the blades glinting. The hulk walked around so that he was behind the whimpering boy, who turned his head around slightly so he could keep a eye on the blades.

There was a snap as the door shut, the boy whipped his head around to stare at Rose, who had just sat down. She ruffled some papers, before looking up at the Boy. "Interrogation of Suspect Indigo is beginning now" She declared, before pulling out a old-fashioned paper base picture. Rose spun it around so that the boy could see it. "Can you confirm that this is your Father?" She asked. The boy looked at the simple picture. It was of rather odious looking man, he was bald, small and had a nasty scowl on his face. The picture appeared to be from a security camera, the pixels slightly blurred due to the low quality of the zoomed-in picture.

"Yes, that's him" He said, his voice weak and shaky. Rose exchanged a quick glance with Tyson, before looking back down at the trembling boy. "And what's his name?" Rose asked, tapping the steel table with one of her long, blood red nails. They made a nasty screeching noise, like nails on a blackboard. The boy winced again. "George Michael Taylor" He muttered, looking at the table.

"And you are William Michael Taylor?" Rose asked, knowing this was true, she just need him to confirm it for the archives. The boy shuffled his feet, a droplet of sweat fell onto the table. "Yes" He muttered, before wiping his brow, his hand came away shiny with sweat. Rose smiled, shuffled the paper together and stood up. "You're finished, that's it?" The boy asked suddenly, his voice a mixture relief and disbelief. "No" Rose said simply, before secretly nodding to the massive man behind the boy.

Tyson unsheathed one of his smaller blades and quickly pressed it to the boys neck. Rose walked around the table so that she was on the other side of the boy to Tyson. She grabbed the boys shoulder, digging in her sharp nails. "If you don't want him to slit your throat, stay still and do exactly what he says" Rose told him, the boy stayed still. She took her hand off his shoulder, there was a slight intake of breath as the nails pulled off a bit of skin. Rose did a neck cutting gesture to Tyson.

The blade flashed, there was a tearing noise and the shirt fell off the boys torso. Tyson's eyebrows shot up when he saw the boys back. Rose gasped.....


[Edited on 01.02.2010 5:40 PM PST]

  • 01.02.2010 5:04 PM PDT

AL is preventing me from having fun. It is also preventing a lot of people from having fun. People who defend AL say they can live without it. It is obviously unfair in many ways.

SO WHY DON'T WE REMOVE/TWEAK IT?

Also, yes, I do goose.

I...hate...you...so...much... What the hell is on his back!?!?

  • 01.02.2010 6:05 PM PDT
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T.O.A.S.T stands for: Totally. Over. Analyzing. Short. Trailers.

Posted by: iTz Mr Quincy
I...hate...you...so...much... What the hell is on his back!?!?


It's a surprise.... duhhhh. lol thanks for the comment...

  • 01.02.2010 6:10 PM PDT