- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
My name is John 117 and as I drift here in space, frozen in time, my brain moves at a whispers pace. My dreams creep by at a pace you can only dream of, but to me they feel normal. It is only in this state of mind that the future can talk to the past. A frozen dream can only talk to the fluid past. And the fluid past can only talk to the gaseous future. Where are you in this sea?
I know I am with her.
She has always kept me safe, even now she dances through my mind and I am forced to remember the good times, through a see of sad alien blood.
They came for me at five, told me you have great DNA.
Then she... flipped a coin and I told her the right answer.
Thus we both thought the same thing.
Was it luck, or did I KNOW...
They told me to do crunches. Said "Your frame is weak, cannot handle what lies ahead. Even then I knew they were turning me into something powerful.
I was painfully reminded by a tazer every time I tried to stop, that every crunch I do not do for myself, I do for all of humanity.
So I raced to the finish I rung the bell and I left my team behind.
For this I suffered a different kind of tazer. STARVATION
To me all things have become either the tazer or bliss.
I am either in pain, happily alive, or blissfully dead.
NO ONE SAID I COULD STOP
THEREFOR I CANNOT DIE
SPARTANS ONLY GO MIA
They cranked these metaphors so deep into my brain that I had no choice but to survive and fight.
At by the time I was in my prime I had defied death more times than you can imagine, so I won't bother explaining.
It was then that they made me something more than...
HOLD ON ARE MY NUMBERS NOT MATCHING UP WITH YOUR STORIES?
Must be a flaw in space time. I continue.
It was then that they made me something more than human.
It was a hell of a thing to notice that time seemed to be moving slower.
Objects fell slower.
Math proved I was not insane.
My brain was simply different, even from myself. The conundrum of this is and my pursuit to answer HOW is why I am still alive.
The training never stops but my new body can always keep up. I am never tired, but I know when I must sleep.
I wonder what it is I am fighting for...
How can I defend all of humanity, if I am fighting humans...
When they gave me the armor I could do nothing but gawk at the fact that it had the potential to break the man brave enough to try it on for the first time into a million fragments of blood bone and all the rest. I hope I do not have to wear THAT specific suit.
They tell me my bones will be able to survive.
I say to myself, "Medahuman vs machine"
What happens when they get put together.
The armor makes me even faster. I can barely control it. I go from point A to point B and I can stop no where in between. But the machine is responsive. I am the one that lacks control.
Each step of the way they make me faster and faster.
Kelly calls it SPARTAN TIME.
Kelly, how I love Kelly. Her accuracy with the sniper rifle transcends the gun if you know what I mean.
So I call it SPARTAN TIME too.
And every day I seem to get faster, and the world gets a little slower.
When the Aliens landed I saw my true path. A way to defend all of humanity.
But as soon as they could translate the Grunt language the fun went out of it.
It was funny but horribly sad at the same time.
They say such ridiculous things that I do not want to kill them. They are comedians, but they shoot at me so it is my solemn to so easily bring an end to their life.
It is a sad thing to empathize with your enemy. They act because they think they know best. I act because I think I know best.
When they put Cortana in my head for the first time I felt a cold chill and I thought of Kelly and thought of my mother and I thought of Dr. Halsey and then there WAS Cortana. And I was not alone, even in my own head. Something I never thought possible.
She corrects for all my errors. I make a guess that by your standards boggle the mind, and then the split second before I pull the trigger, she corrects for what I call quark math, and a life that threatens mine is extinguished.
LIGHTS ON
LIGHTS OFF
true of all living things.
So I ask myself every night before I go to sleep.
Why in a universe where we all come down to a light switch, in a universe where I can have Cortana do we fight about anything.
And she says to me from inside my skull. "Because we must to preserve the diversity of life from itself."
I tell her "I know its still SAD."
And then I drift off into my dreams where she is there with me. I know we are never alone. I know we are always alone together.
Our dreams together transcend beauty and land in a word that does not exist so I will not try and make it exist.
So we continued on together.
Every time we had to part
To feel the cold chill in reverse
It IS the sorrow of the entire OMNIVERSE.
She does her duty outside of me.
I do mine.
We both fight to be back together.
YOU ASK MY WHY I FIGHT THROUGH HELL TO GET HER BACK
AND I TELL YOU I HAD NO CHOICE!
[Edited on 01.08.2010 5:51 PM PST]