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This topic has moved here: Subject: Spring in 2553 (Short Story)
  • Subject: Spring in 2553 (Short Story)
Subject: Spring in 2553 (Short Story)

Zombie? What are you!? Racist? Its called "living impaired" you idiot!

Alpha squad's video recordings had just been recieved. What they found was, most disturbing...


Now loading transmission...
password required - *******.... Accepted
Opening top secret video file. Loading player. Done.

Location: codename Ghost Town
Mission: Investigate multitude of disappearances in the liberated town. Report back with anything unsusual.

Hane, Jep, and Chris jumped out of the opened pelican. Hane was the only spartan in the group, the others were ODSTs. Each of them unclicked their assualt rifles. They were placed on top of a platform that connected two buildings. Hane pointed his signals to his left and right. He leapt to the bottom, smashing into the dirt. He surveyed the area.

After walking around for an hour, his headest started to act up. At first it was static, he couldn't make anything out. Soon enough, he could make out a catchy tune coming through the headest.
"I don't care what the weather man says
when the weather man says it's raining,"
He looked into the distance with disbelief.
"What the hell?"
"you'll never hear me complaining
i'm certain the sun will shine,"

This wasn't normal. He tried to shout over his communicator.
"Jep! Jep! Answer me! You're the one closest to me!"
"don't care how the weather vain points
when it points to gloomy
it's got to be sunny to me
when your eyes look into mine."

He started to panic. He looked up and saw Chris on top of the building in front of him. He was having the same probelm. Soon enough, the song made sense to him.
"jeepers, creepers...where'd you get those peepers"
"Chris!" There was a shadow directly behind him.
"jeepers, creepers...where'd you get those eyes"
"Dam it Chris! Behind you!" No later, did Chris's body fall with a scream into his mic.
"gosh oh, git up....how'd they get so lit up
gosh oh, git up....how'd they get that size"

He immediately ran the other way, yelling for Jep to answer him.
"Hey Sarge, whats up?" He was on the higher balcony.
"Jep! Get the hell down here!"
"Whats wrong?"
"Golly gee...when you turn those heaters on
woe is me...got to put my cheaters on
Jeepers, creepers....where'd ya get them peepers
oh, those weepers....how they hypnotize
Ya
where'd ya get those eyes?
ramada ramada ramada ramada
in their eyes"

He ran back immediately as Jep fell dead at the victim to the creature. As he ran under the tunnel, the song kept coming. He turned back once, only to see the creature right behind him. Just as the song ended, Hane drew his last breath.
"Golly gee...when you turn those heaters on
woe is me...got to put my cheaters on
Jeepers, creepers....where'd ya get those peepers
oh, those weepers....how they hypnotize
Nock me out
where did ya get those eyes?
where'd ya get them?
won't you put me wide?
don't you die man
hate to advertise
tell 'em dock
where'd you get those eyes?"


End Tranmission

General Dean looked at the screen in disbelief. He turned to the colonel that presented him this tape.
"You're sure this thing is dead, right?"
"We're not sure sir." Then, the lights flickered. The intercom fuzzed, then, a familiar tune could be made out through the halls of the bunker.

"jeepers, creepers...where'd you get those peepers"



Any critizism would be appreciated.

  • 01.26.2010 1:06 PM PDT

"Find The Bomb?!
Find The Bomb?!
I'm Looking For The Flag!
What The Heck Is Assualt!?"

Err...

Just didn't feel much suspense through it, if it is strictly a sound transmission you should probably only use quotation marks and not try to tell us anything but rather make the sound through the mic.

  • 01.26.2010 6:12 PM PDT

Posted by: Buggy Virus
Err...

Just didn't feel much suspense through it, if it is strictly a sound transmission you should probably only use quotation marks and not try to tell us anything but rather make the sound through the mic.
Seemed suspenseful to me...

  • 01.26.2010 7:56 PM PDT

"Find The Bomb?!
Find The Bomb?!
I'm Looking For The Flag!
What The Heck Is Assualt!?"

*shrugs*

I felt the whole song thing almost detracted from it, maybe if wasn't a high ratio compared to the action.

  • 01.26.2010 8:55 PM PDT

Posted by: Buggy Virus
*shrugs*

I felt the whole song thing almost detracted from it, maybe if wasn't a high ratio compared to the action.
Nevertheless...

  • 01.26.2010 9:09 PM PDT

Zombie? What are you!? Racist? Its called "living impaired" you idiot!

Thanks.

  • 01.27.2010 4:23 AM PDT