- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Here is a random theory I once wrote, I shall post it now in the off chance someone gets some idle amusement.
The Forerunner was originally known as the Foreman. They were a race fathered by George Foreman and his five sons also named George Foreman. His sons also had large families and named all of their sons George Foreman. As Time passed nearly a quarter of the world population was named George Foreman. The fear of the growing political and economic influence of the George Foremans, fueled by sales of their grills, soon sparked a seed of hatred. All grills ceased to sell and the Power of the Foreman waned. The persecution of the Foreman caused them to flee and enter into exile. Because of there constant need to run from safe zone to safe zone for survival they soon became known as the Forerunner. With the creation of interstellar travel the Forerunner used this to finally seek a sanctuary for them. Unfortunately, on their journey to a safe planet, they traveled through a wormhole that sent them far back in time. Trapped they began to search the Galaxy in search of life to sell their George Foreman grills too. They eventually found a race that purchased so many grills that the Forerunners started to just refer to them as Profits. Due to a translation error down the road they eventually become religious leaders. With their hope rekindled they went to work creating their masterpiece, to create the largest meal in history. They would use a system of gigantic grills that would cook all life with sufficient biomass in the galaxy. However they were not about to abandon the Foreman tradition of draining the fat of the food for healthier eating and easy cleaning. Unfortunately a galaxy has quite a large amount of fat in it and they needed a place to put it all. Someone came up with the idea of creating a race that would simply consume all the fat for them. However, the species they created enjoyed fat too much and could not wait for food to be cooked and simply started deep-frying and the consuming all life they could find. The Forerunner panicked they had to stop this flood of unhealthy eating, especially since it was often them being eaten. They then realized that they simply could have drained the fat into a black hole and be done with it. They made the modifications and they knew what they had to do, cook the galaxy and destroy all of its fat. They sent a single man to reclaim the grills from the Flood and activate them, a grill meister so talented that he was known only by his rank of Master Chef. This also caused some confusion down the line. "If you were in my shoes would you do it?" Master Chef asked the Grill 04's meat monitor. "I mean it’s a huge waste of meat. When we cook everything, there will be nothing left to savor and enjoy it." But, they knew what they had to do and so it was done, the universes largest BBQ.