- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
You know you are a Halo maniac when you send your 5yo off for his fist day of school feeling comforted that:
1. He can whoop any of the other kid’s as@s on any map they choose - even if they had host
2. He is impervious to flaming - in fact those poor little kids don't know what their in for...
3. When he returns from his first day we can talk about tactics and strategies for his new map
4. If anything doesn't go his way, he will not take it personally but just blame the lag
5. School is within sniping rage, so you can offer support for skirmishes that may brake out at lunch time
6. He won't learn any bad language (already has a full vocabulary)
7. That he clearly understands the difference between ‘sand pit’ and ‘rumble pit’
8. He has the best hand-eye coordination, reflexes and timing of any kid in his year
9. That if the day gets too hard he can get out of bounds till it's over
10. I can send him a power up in his lunchbox
11. If he finds this level to hard he can do it again before attempting the next level
12. If he gets into any trouble he’s got a friend who’s a legit level 50
13. If there is any gang violence at school he’s at least part of fairly large clan
14. He is short enough to naturally avoid the teachers’ melee attack
15. Although he knows he shouldn’t, he has the doubleshot to get out of any sticky situation
16. He knows that the word ‘gey’ has more than one meaning. It doesn’t always mean that other person relies on the noob combo, and even if they do – he don’t have a problem with it
17. He goes to school already with a list of 100 or so useful sight words like team, lobby, report, sword, kill, assault, betray, assassinate, and killtacula.
18. At sport, everyone will be impressed with his superbounce.
19. He knows not to feel bad because all the ‘gifted’ kids are modding
20. He knows he can kill his new friends any way he likes, but he should never teabag them
[Edited on 3/19/2007]