- x Foman123 x
- Master Forum Ninja
- gamertag: [none]
- user homepage:
I know it's a big shocker coming, but.... April Fool's!
Just for clarification:
1) These forum rules are a joke, obviously :-)
2) The Forum Ninjas were in on every part of this joke and it was conducted only with the permission and supervision of the Web Team. Other April Fool's day pranks and imitations are not permitted without similar permission and supervision.
3) I am not wearing pants.
4) Credit for the OP goes to all of the Forum Ninjas who came up with funny/wacky rules. BUT, if you thought that anything in the OP was not funny, blame Qbix.
Thanks for your participation and amusing replies. See you next year... MAYBE!!
Let's face it. These forums are a mess. They are rife with people who show no respect to others, spam the forums constantly with things like ampersands, and ask questions that nobody feels like answering.
Our current forum rules are too short and too simplistic. A new era of forum greatness is necessary. And to that end, HFCS is proud to announce that we have come up with a list of Supplemental Forum Rules that will be added to our current list of rules.
However, we would never do such a thing without requesting input and commentary from the great folks here in the Community Forum. It doesn't mean we'll pay any attention to it, but whatever.
So please peruse the rules below and, if they move you to imaginations of a forum filled with vigorous discussions and hilarious one-liners from Forum Ninjas who are proud to serve/ban you, feel free to leave a comment saying so.
Provided everything goes well with getting our new enforcement system into place, these Supplemental Forum Rules will go live in a few days.
Supplemental Forum Rules (applicable to all public forums on Bungie.net)
- You are required to not wear pants while logged into Bungie.net. Violations of this rule will result in permanent ban. References to the Bungie.net front page banner which states, "After extended consideration, we do, in fact, approve of pants" will not be considered a valid excuse for violation of this rule.
What counts as "pants"?
Pants are any form of clothing worn on the lower body from the waist to the ankles and designed to be worn on the outside of your underwear. For purposes of Bungie.net, "pants" also includes any form of "shorts," "cargo shorts," or "jorts" excluding underwear.
- You are required to choose the Bungie.net avatar which best represents what your mother looks like. Failure to adhere to this rule will result in forced avatar changes and possible bans. And yes, we know what your mother looks like.
- Forum Ninjas shall no longer be referred to as "moderators," "mods," or "Forum Ninjas." You are required to refer to Forum Ninjas as "Forum -blam!-s." As part of this rule, whenever addressing a Forum Ninja in the forums or private messages, you are to begin and end each sentence with "sir" (or "ma'am" for Achilles1108). Violations of this rule will result in deportation from your home country.
What does "begin and end each sentence with 'sir'" mean?
This means that you must begin and end each sentence addressed to a Forum -blam!- with "sir" or, if you are addressing Achilles1108, with "ma'am."
Posted by: Forumgoer
Oh God, please, please, please don't ban me, sir!
Posted by: El Roboto
You forgot to begin your sentence with "sir." See you in the next life, pal.
- Lumpy pudding is against the rules (as it always has been), along with all other food that isn't considered to be celery. Violations of this rule will result in forced diet plans and viewing of Richard Simmons videos.
- Use of the ampersand ("&") and semicolons (";") are now considered memes, punishable by extreme bans.
- From now on, you must browse Bungie.net using only a Mac. Your audio player must be Windows Media Player and it must be set to play a loop of Miley Cirus songs whenever browsing BNet.
- Do not refer to yourself in the first person. You must mention yourself in third person or the collective first person at all times.
What is the third person or the collective first person?
Google it, silly. But here are some examples:
Posted by: x Foman123 x
x Foman123 x disagrees with your opinion.
Posted by: Duardo
We lost our Security and Katana armor! How do we get it back?
- All questions asked on the forums must be phrased as an answer, Jeopardy Style.
What does "Jeopardy Style" mean?
This means that your question must be phrased as an answer.
For example, if you are wondering what the Double EXP playlist is this weekend, your post must be as follows:
Posted by: Person with Question
Posted by: Responder
What is this weekend's double-EXP playlist?
- There will be random bannings, because we may have not caught you doing anything wrong, but we are sure you did at some point. Any appeals to these bans will result in immediate promotion to Exalted Mythic Member. Also note that all formal ban appeals must be typed with your toes, and socks must be worn while typing.
- All posts in all forums must include a subliminal message praising Bungie, Achronos, and/or the Forum Ninjas. Violations of this rule will result in restrictions on the length of your posts to 3 characters or less.
- All posts addressed to or private messages sent to Achronos must include at least six (6) smileys. Violations of this rule will result in warnings for the first offense and permaban for subsequent offenses.
What is a "smiley"?
A "smiley" is a set of random characters strung together such that, when you turn your head sideways, it appears to be a face making an expression. The following smileys are appropriate for posts or messages to Achronos:
:) (the "Standard")
:-) (the "Extended")
>:-) (the "Evil Grin")
<:-) (the "Happy Go Lucky")
;) (the "Winky")
;-) (the "Extended Winky")
>;-) (the "Evil Extended Winky")
<;-) (the "Happy Go Lucky Winky")
-_- (the "Annoyance")
XD (the "Hilarious")
X-D (the "Extended Hilarious")
:-D (the "Grin")
D-: (the "Shocked and Saddened")
:-( (the "Extended Sad")
:( (the "Sad")
:-((((((((( (the "Really Really Sad with Extra Lips")
:-# (the "Braces")
;-& (the "Pretzelmouth")
>8-} (the "Evil Nerd")
:-<3 (the "Lover")
;-O (the "Shocked Winky")
8-O (the "Shocked Nerd")
:-0 (the "Extended Nerd")
;-| (the "Srs Winky")
:'-( (the "Cryer")
;"-% (the "Sobbing Winky with Zits")
3-Y (the "What the Hell is That Some Kind of Zombie")
;-<> (the "Singing Winky")
:| (the "Blank")
8^)> (the "Cool Cat with Goatee")
Other smileys will be considered spam.
- For sanitary reasons, you are required to wash your hands and use Purell before typing any post in the public forums. Additionally, you must wash your own mouth out with soap whenever typing a word that is censored out by the -blam!- filter. We anticipate no violations of this rule at all, so there is no penalty for violating it.
- Every new forum post must be screened by a Forum Ninja. Please PM Duardo with exactly what you wish to post for approval. Do not post until you receive approval from Duardo.
- Due to the increased popularity of Twitter, all posts must be "Twitter-style." This is also known as the "Anti-Foman Rule."
What the hell is Twitter-style?
Twitter is a popular social networking site that makes use of "microblogging" rules. These rules prohibit any post over 140 characters.
Posted by: Old Papa Rich
Magenta is my favorite color.
Posted by: bobcast
RT: @Old Papa Rich Magenta is my favorite color.
Posted by: Butane123
@Old Papa Rich @bobcast No big surprise there.
- Since conveying emotions through text is hard to do, you must now prefix all your posts with an emotive statement to clarify your tone, much like the Elcore from Mass Effect.
What is an emotive statement?
An emotive statement is a prefix to your actual post which conveys the emotion you're trying to express.
Posted by: Forumgoer
EXTREME RAGE: WHAR THE HELL IS MY UNLOCK RECON BUTTON.
Posted by: Responder 1
Mild amusement: LOL.
Posted by: Responder 2
Imperious haughtiness: All-caps = lock
Posted by: Responder 3
Genuine concern: Have you gotten all of the Vidmaster Achievements?
Posted by: Responder 4
Trolling sarcasm: You're a Colonel. You don't get Recon.
- The term "-blam!-" is now considered profanity and will be added to the profanity filter. The usual strict enforcement of the "do not evade the profanity filter" rule will apply to this term as well.
We hope you enjoy these new forum rules and encourage you to submit your feedback. For any negative feedback, however, we encourage you to PM Duardo.
[Edited on 04.01.2010 1:35 PM PDT]