- Scarecrow118
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- Noble Heroic Member
Hmm, interesting, but I have a few problems, so here goes my constructive criticism.
First of all, just watch you grammar. In some places your capitalisation is wrong, and you're missing full stops and the like. You're going for speech, so make it so that it sounds like a person is speaking, and not like you are reading a story. Shorter sentences, with more grammar should fix that.
Second is your ordering. A person reading a story in the English language reads from left to right and top to bottom, so try to follow that. Make sure that a reader can clearly understand who says what and in what order. In some of the comics, it was hard to tell who was the first speaker and which part a reader should look at first. You don't always have to use speech bubbles to show who is speaking. Try experimenting with using different fonts to determine different speakers. That can also help with setting a tone. If you're going for a dark, mysterious sentence, use a font that shows that.
Next is your layout. In your comics, your layout is all over the place. Again, readers will read left to right, top to bottom so set out your comic to facilitate that. Try to keep a uniform layout as well. I find it easier when I use a basic A4 shaped template with 6 squares for pictures in a staggered formation. This and this are my attempts at Halo Comics, and nearly all the readers loved that layout. I think it just works better for readers to follow, as it is a natural progression of order. Trying to keep them under each other also makes it easier to read and makes it look much neater.
If you're in need of inspiration, or looking for some more tips, I would suggest checking out www.reclaimercomic.com It is the longest running and most successful Halo webcomic, so you might be able to learn a few things from it. Don't take this harshly, it was in no way meant to be me picking apart your work, just some advice to improve your comics. Hope to see more soon!!
[Edited on 05.03.2010 1:53 AM PDT]