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This topic has moved here: Subject: [Reach Fanfic] Operation: INVASION - Updated ~ 28 May
  • Subject: [Reach Fanfic] Operation: INVASION - Updated ~ 28 May
Subject: [Reach Fanfic] Operation: INVASION - Updated ~ 28 May

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DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Protagonists
- MIKE - Squad Leader, Expert Marksman
- TOM - Grenadier
- BEN (Benjamin) - Operator
- JESTER - Recon Marksman
- DOM (Dominique) - Scout
- ROY - Grenadier

Antagonists
- Kvar Dabasee - Royal Zealot
- Zael Dabasee - Champion Assassin


Epsilon Eridani System, Reach, 2552.The battle for Reach is raging and passing much in the favour of the Covenant forces. Most of the Orbital Defence Systems have been destroyed, sabotaged, or damaged severely enough to render them useless.
The Covenant have set foot on the planet's surface, shattered a great part of the Ground Defences and have begun to glass the planet. The UNSC, suffering a grave defeat, have no choice but to execute the United Nations Space Command Emergency Priority Order 098831A-1, the Cole Protocol. Selective Purges of databases on all ship-based and planetary data networks are being activated all across the planet. The Covenant must not gain knowledge of the location of Earth!

3am Local time, the South-Western foot of the Highland Mountains, located in a dense forest, carved into the southern face of Aaron Mountain. Here lies a top-secret abandoned ONI base, housing valuable intelligence and blueprints of the newest UNSC equipment and weaponry. That intel must be protected and retrieved for future purposes. However, all the local units had to be moved to other locations in the Highland Mountains.
A six-man squad of Spartan-IIIs have been assigned to reactivate the base and protect it until all information has been extracted.

Due to the strong aerial presence of the Covenant in this area, the squad was forced to travel by ground. Having already left more than half of their way behind them, the squad, consisting of the six Spartan-IIIs, two marines and two ONI agents distributed into three warthogs, only needs to descend from Aaron Mountain into the forest. The Armed Warthog is in front, the one reserved for the future cargo is in the middle and the passenger Warthog is at the rear end of the convoy. Slowly and steadily they're driving down the steep and narrow roads towards their destination.

Lurking threateningly above the forest, only a handful of clicks south of Bellinzona Base, floats a Covenant Carrier, preparing for battle and awaiting orders. Its two commanders, Sangheili from the noble tribe of Daba are fanatically observing the instruments on the bridge. Interestingly, the ship's Luminary is indicating a small group of "reclamations" moving away from the main battle in the highland and towards their location. Counteractive Measures are being made. A large force of ground units is being deployed to march towards the approaching enemies.

As the last warthog descends to the height of the treetops into the forest, a blue-ish glow coming from the Covenant ship illuminates the night.

BEN: Looks like we've been spotted. Were we expecting this?
MIKE: I've guessed as much. Why do you think they sent us?
JESTER: Think we should get our equipment ready? Better too early than too late...
MIKE: Fine. Men, we're taking a five minute break here for us to apply the equipment to our armour. Marines, guard the perimeter, Spartans, get suited!
The Warthogs stop. The two marines and the agents climb out of the vehicles and scout the area with their Designated Marksman Rifles while the Spartans unload the new toys from the middle hog. Limited Supply Equipment. Rare stuff...



Kvar: Good Hunt, my brother.
The two warriors share a handshake and then separate. Kvar returns to his men to oversee their preparations personally, whilst Zael steps into the Gravity Lift, descending to the surface of the human planet.
After his feet arrive on solid ground he steps in front of his small army and gains attention by drawing out his Energy Sword.

Zael: Men, move out at top speed! We shall intercept the approaching humans and stop them dead!
The almost childish cheers of the unggoy, the blood-thirsty comments of the kig-yar and the few applauds of the other Sangheili are only drowned by the many buzzes and the loud chattering of the Yanme'e. They start marching towards the highland, whereas the vehicles speed ahead and the scout and sniper squads take the slightly longer, but higher-located paths.

After a few minutes pass, Kvar reports in over the comm.

Kvar(over the comm.): My brother, apparently the humans have arrived at their destination. They have come to a halt, not far from your current location, and have sent a small part of their numbers ahead to scout or secure the area. I suggest gaining the high ground and flanking them.
Zael: I thank you, my brother. I have already dispersed my units throughout the area, surrounding the humans, and am only awaiting their signal for an offensive. You need not bother yourself, my brother. I shall manage this foe by myself.
Kvar: I have no doubt in that, but I shall follow with my men nonetheless. Kvar out.
Finally receiving the last signal, Zael readies his focus rifle and signals the warriors around him.

Not too far from the Covenant forces lies the Barcellona Base. Separated slightly from the forest due to its location on a clearance at the southern face of the mountain.
Contrary to the still-modern interior of the abandoned base, the almost derelict exterior walls draw away all suspicions of the base still being used. The contrast between nature and technology that marks most other bases is long-gone here. Roots of the mighty trees cover most of the roof and parts of the walls. The grey colour of the old stone walls, covering the metal ones, is blurred with green and brown colours of no longer present plants. The two never before used exterior shield generators are fairly unrecognizable under a layer of moss and blueberry bushes. They should still be functional though.

MIKE attaches his DMR to his back again and watches the men carry in the required equipment for the mission. As the ONI Agents start setting up and organizing the inside of the base with the Marines standing guard at the entrance, the Spartans show their ranger skills by attending to the shield generators, clearing them from the flora.

MIKE: Well, Sergeant? Are they still intact?
BEN: They're not damaged. But I think, due to their age, they'll probably overheat fairly quickly. We should only activate them when we really need to...
ONI Agent(over the comm.): Lieutenant, we're all ready to start here.
MIKE: Great. Start doing your thing then. Seal the base off from the inside. We'll fire up the Energy Shields manually from out here.
The Spartans watch the heavy metal door close behind the stone entrance and then focus their attention back on patrolling the area.

[Edited on 05.28.2010 12:02 PM PDT]

  • 05.22.2010 11:47 AM PDT
Subject: [Reach Fanfic] Operation: INVASION (Parts I-III)

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Before every battle, no matter the length, Zael has the habit of learning the entire surrounding. The same goes for his men. Thanks to their communication and speed they have already scouted the whole area around the base and secured the most advantageous positions for themselves.
The human base is located right at the mountain. Only a few trees, bushes and rocks serve as cover for the humans. A small shallow stream runs down from the mountain through the base and most of the area. The real dense forest starts about 300 feet away from the base. And there are four hills that are slightly elevated out of the forest. The closest one is about 500 feet away from the base and almost directly connected to it through the stream that flows completely straight in that area. In fact, that connection seems to be the only long-distance weakness for the humans.
A part of the kig-yar snipers is already positioned on top of said hill and waiting for the routine Spartan Patrol to cross the river in their base.

Organized into the last detail, the Spartans end their fourth tour around the area. Divided into teams of two, the Spartans each took a part of the area to patrol. TOM and DOM are patrolling the south-east.

DOM(Peacefully listening to the whistling of the birds and the splashing of the stream): It's really a pity that we can't save the planet... It's so beautiful, don't you thi-
After hearing a noise from inside the woods, DOM stops in the stream and looks into the forest, peering through the scope of her DMR, she scans through the area.
TOM, also paying more attention at the moment, suddenly notices a small ellipse of light appear on the back of DOM's helmet. He charges towards her and pulls her to the ground, just as a concentrated beam of light whistles by and narrowly scratches the side of her helmet!

TOM(Getting onto his knees over DOM): I'll be the distraction!
DOM: Got it.
TOM rams his fist into the stream, causing a huge splash. Then they both activate the new ability of their armour.

Rek growls angrily as he sees his shot being avoided. The humans are both on the ground in the water now. There'd be no way to avoid the next shots. He peers through the scope of his beam rifle again and aims for his target. The human splashes water up, most likely to block their sights. Rek gives the command to fire at will. Upon that, six bursts are fired through the water at the place where the humans were. As the water settles, an odd new sight reveals itself to Rek. The human is crouching in the water and glowing threateningly, emitting electricity and light. He had somehow gained an over powerful shield!

Suddenly another kig-yar falls to the ground, blood running out of a hole in its head! Then another one! Rek scans the area where the shots had come from. Then another shot comes out of nowhere and kills yet another member of his squad! Then he sees the assassin appear for a split-second, right before catching a bullet between his own eyes too...

After draining all the power from his armour and feeding it all into his shields, Tom gained a moment of invincibility. Not being able to see or hear anything through the overcharged shields, TOM has to trust his luck on when to end the Armour Lock. He waits a couple of seconds, and then he aborts. His shields pop, emitting a slight EMP, making him extremely vulnerable for a short time. He jumps to his feet and races towards the nearest rock. He hears several burst of plasma hitting the ground around him, only to increase his adrenaline level. He dives behind the rock and takes the DMR from his back.

TOM(Arming the weapon): How many are left?
DOM ends her ability as she reaches the rock too. She looks down at herself to see her legs and arms appear out of thin air, bit for bit. The Active Camouflage is amazingly advanced...
DOM(Reloading): I took out four of them. I saw three more up there. There could be more...

  • 05.22.2010 11:48 AM PDT

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Please let me know how you like the story. Especially the action-filled parts. Till now I think I always messed up the action parts because I just went "from A to C, just skipping B" too much...

  • 05.22.2010 11:50 AM PDT

Good work, you have potential. I think you could do with putting more description in, and you should set it out like a story rather than a script.

Don't feel like action sequences are the most important. When writing fan fiction, I like to keep them short, although sometimes I'll elaborate because people enjoy them. When I'm doing a bit of original writing, I put very little action in completely; a three hour battle can easily be summed up by "The battle raged on for hours, neither side gaining the advantage. By the time the sun settled, the ground was stained crimson with blood."

So anyway, focus more on character development and plot than action. And don't set it out like a script.

  • 05.22.2010 12:57 PM PDT

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Posted by: Wolverfrog
Good work, you have potential. I think you could do with putting more description in, and you should set it out like a story rather than a script.

Don't feel like action sequences are the most important. When writing fan fiction, I like to keep them short, although sometimes I'll elaborate because people enjoy them. When I'm doing a bit of original writing, I put very little action in completely; a three hour battle can easily be summed up by "The battle raged on for hours, neither side gaining the advantage. By the time the sun settled, the ground was stained crimson with blood."

So anyway, focus more on character development and plot than action. And don't set it out like a script.
Thanks. That means a lot to me.

But if there's something I'm worse at than action scenes, then it's character development. I just fail at it. EIther I don't know how or I'm just terrible at it...

As for the script layout. I kinda like it and wanted to try something new... But depending on the rest of the story, I might just change it.

  • 05.22.2010 2:24 PM PDT

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MIKE[b](Into the comm.)[b]: Okay, stay put! Slowly fall back to the base, we'll reinforce you there!
TOM(Between the sounds of gunfire over the comm): Yes, Sir!
MIKE terminates the connection and signals BEN to follow. The Spartan-III nods his head and sprints over. Then they both run back to the base in a speed impossible to reach for normal humans.

The marines guarding the entrance to the base watch as two of the Spartans return. They waste no time and set up defensive perimeters. One of them unpacks the machine gun turret from its crate and sets it up. The other walks up to the armed warthog and turns it around 90 degrees with his brute strength.

Marine[b](whispers)[b]: Unbelievable... That warthog weighs over a ton! These guys are really something!
Second Marine: If I was pumped full of chemicals in training I could do that too...
First Marine: Don't put your hopes up. Only the best of the best are picked for the Spartan augmentation... It's not just the chemicals that give them their Covenant nicknames...

Angrily, Zael rams his fist against a rock, crumbling it a little.
Zael: Demons... Why was I not informed of this immediately?!
Sangheili: I apologize. The kig-yar seem to have overestimated their capabilities. It shall not occur again.
Zael(Breathing calmly): Indeed, it shall not! Have that squad return to the ship and replace it with a pair of Mgalekgolo. And brother... next time, I wish to be informed about our foes before we attack.
Sangheili: Yes, brother... I apologize for this asininity.
The young warrior marches into the forest and disappears out of sight. Zael opens a connection to the vehicle squad.
Zael(Into the comm.): Men, the kig-yar have revealed our presence to the humans. It is your duty to remediate their error. Pull out and lay suppressive fire on the humans until the infantry arrives. And beware, for we are fighting demons!

The Spartans immediately turn to face it, as the sound of a plasma explosion is heard not far from the base.
ROY: Up high, Banshees!
He aims his assault rifle into the woods as he sees something big crash through the bushes. TOM and DOM are being pursued by something. Roy switches weapons. Now holding his mighty rocket launcher, he climbs onto a rock and aims behind his companions.
DOM: Two Ghosts! Do something already!
Chasing after the Spartans, one of the light purple vehicles hovers over the ground, avoiding all the tree stumps and bushes that would be obstacles for the human land-based vehicles. Promptly, ROY fires a rocket towards the ghost upon its sighting. The Grunt piloting the Ghost squeaks in horror as it sees the rocket raging towards it. It manages to turn the ghost just enough to avoid direct contact with the projectile. The rocket hits the ground below the Ghost and blows it sideways into the woods, flipping it violently several times and ultimately crashing it into a tree. The grunt, miraculously unharmed, cheers relievedly and drives the damaged vehicle out of sight of the rocket launcher.

Ghar, the pilot of one of the two Banshees had thought of a brilliant surprise attack, which he is now turning into action. He brings his Banshee up to the peek of the mountain unnoticed and makes a sudden nose dive. Soaring through the air down towards the two Demons, who were still running for safety, he fires the Banshee's fuel rod cannon. He watches the green burst of plasma emerge and blast into the ground right in front of the Demons, sending them flying backwards. The Sangheili wastes no time and brings the Banshee right down to the ground and accelerating across the it, he aims to ram one of the Demons. This would be a glorious day indeed!

TOM, quickly recovered from the Banshee's blast, rises to his feet and takes a glance at the fast approaching aircraft. He quickly activates his Jetpack and boosts a jump into the air even higher, there from the more appropriate term "Jumppack" for the device.



[Edited on 05.28.2010 11:59 AM PDT]

  • 05.28.2010 11:58 AM PDT

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Ghar gasps in shock as he feels a heavy thud hit the top of the Banshee and even more so when he hears the Demon ripping open the hatch.
As Ghar's life passes in front of his eyes and tears are close, he steers the aircraft high into the sky. To a height, where not even its Jetpack would help the Demon. The he feels himself being pulled out of the cockpit and thrown out into the open! Deciding not to let his death be for nothing, Ghar quickly reaches for the Demon's leg and pulls it off the Banshee too.

Ghar: This is my end Demon, but I shall be remembered as a hero who killed you! Prepare to perish, human!

TOM was definitely not expecting this. He needs to think of something. And he needs to do it fast. He can't possibly use his Jetpack to boost himself up to the Banshee, falling down above them, but the Banshee is his only hope for survival. He needs an additional boost of height with it... He turns his attention to the Elite, who had now activated an Energy Sword. The Elite lunges towards him, only narrowly missing TOM's neck. Instantly, TOM grabs the Elites arm and twists it around. He pulls himself up onto the alien's head and bounces off, sending himself up towards the aircraft and the Elite even faster downwards to its demise. He activates his Jetpack and just manages to get a grip of the Banshee. Seeing the ground coming ever closer, he quickly pulls himself inside and activates its boost. He manages to bring the Banshee into a tight looping and saves himself by exiting it near the ground. He makes a run for the base yet again. Quickly glancing back, he sees the wreckage of the Banshee burning near the broken lifeless body of the Elite.

Tom hears yet another fuel rod cannon being fired above him. He quickly rolls up, punching the ground and diverting every bit of energy from his armour into his shields. He is coated in a hull of electricity and the plasma just bounces right off. He ends his ability after seeing the ground glow green under him and turns to face the approaching aircraft.

TOM: DOM, now!!
Just as the Banshee reaches the height of the trees, DOM emerges from her active camouflage and leaps from a branch onto it. The surprise attack is a full success. DOM rams a frag grenade into the side of the aircraft and then jumps back off. Tom catches her and they both watch the Banshee disintegrate in a spectacular purple and orange explosion, before finally reaching the base and regrouping.

Sangheili(Over the comm.): My brother, we have lost the Banshees and the Ghosts are terrified! Our troops are in desperate need of a morale boost, brother!
Zael: Worry not. The aerial attack was but a distraction. Everything is now in place and I shall join the front line myself.
Zael changes the frequency and orders all units to attack as they see fit. Then he activates his own armour's ability. He stares down at his legs to see them disintegrate slowly, fading in with his surroundings and becoming completely invisible. He leaves his current location and marches towards the humans' base.

MIKE: Enemies, left side, bring that turret round!
BEN obeys and sweeps through the four-man grunt squad. Suddenly the whole area is lit up with a green glow. A rain of plasma comes down on the whole base and lowers everyone's shields to 0%. The Spartans abandon the turrets and run for cover.
JESTER(Diving behind the warthog): What the hell was that?!
MIKE: A swarm of drones! Short controlled bursts of fire, shoot those nasty buggers out of the sky!
DOM(Stressed): Hunters! Charging in! Heavy weapons! Where's ROY?!
ROY(Under heavy fire): I'm pinned down by snipers! Do something about them already!
JESTER: Sh­it, the ghosts are back too! The Hunters have passed the turrets, they're aiming fort he gate! Marines, get inside!!
The two armoured giants each fire a load of plasma at the base gate, shaking it heavily and breaking away most of the rocky walls.
ONI Agent(Over the comm.): What do you think you're doing out there?! Put up those shields immediately or we'll die in here!!
TOM: Grunts and Jackals have crossed the defense line too! And the Drones are back again!
Frustrated, the Spartans shout out loud as their halfway charged shields are depleted to nothing again by the impact of the hot green plasma.
MIKE(Pointing at the trunk of the warthog): Someone, do something, right now!! Roy, use that Laser!
ROY: If I come out of cover now, I'll die, sir!!
DOM activates her camouflage again. Her battery is almost empty by now. She slowly walks over to one of the two shield generators, dangerously bypassing the two hunters. She quickly uses the authorisation code and the console activates. It starts to glow red and emits a cloud of steam, receiving most of the Covenant's attention instantly.
MIKE: Now!!

All the Spartans jump out of cover simultaneously. And fire dozens of rounds into the exposed backs of the hunters. The creatures roar in pain and collapse to the ground, dead. Mike quickly charges through the volley of plasma and activates the second shield generator. With both of the machines activated, the base is finally packed into a safe coat of red energy.

ROY uses the distraction to get to the warthog. He lifts the heavy M6 Spartan Laser out of the trunk and aims fort he ghosts. As the laser charges, suddenly he is rammed to the ground by something. The laser is pulled out of his hands and thrown far away by what seems to have been a sword slash. His theory is correct. An Elite in Black armour appears on top of the warthog and hops down onto the ground in front of him, armed with an Energy Sword.

His enemy is hopelessly lost. The Demon is only armed with long distance weapons. Zael brings out a second sword handle and throws it over to his pitiful foe. The Demon catches is elegantly and pulls the switch to bring out the concentrated energy blade.

Zael: Mistake this not for generosity, Demon. For today you die...
Zael charges at the Demon and slices his sword upwards, only to be parried strongly by the blade of the Demon's sword. The two blades clash and a mighty burst of Energy emits them. Zael kicks the Demon in the chest, dazing it and then turns on the spot, bringing his sword around at an incredible speed. He knocks the blade out of the Demons hand and sends his foe flying backwards onto the ground. Zael strides over to the downed Demon, raising the sword over his head with a victorious smile on his four mandibles. The Demon pitifully fire a few bullets at Zael's armour in a last futile attempt to save himself.
Zael: There is no honour in bringing a gun to a sword fight. Now you die.

  • 05.28.2010 11:59 AM PDT