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- Noble Heroic Member
Don't put the grunts in word bubbles, and find a better font for the narration. Don't be afraid to crop in more, that 2nd panel could be a more dynamic angle to begin with, the 3rd panel should be more of a close-up. And the last panel would do better with a shadowy, ambiguous shot of the environment rather than just black background. Something that fits the subject, theme or mood. Keep at it! Storyboard it with drawings if you have to first, doesn't matter if the drawings aren't any good, it's just to plan your shots and get a feel. Analyze a comic that has a lot of different view angles for reference, doesn't matter if the story is totally different or if the characters are totally unrealistic, as long as it's dramatic. Showing the guy killing a guy in the first panel isn't necessarily the only way to introduce your story.
Bottom line: you got the suspense, now add some visual drama.
[Edited on 06.22.2010 2:24 PM PDT]