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Subject: The Crazy English Language!
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English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and 3 quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages,it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

  • 08.08.2004 2:38 PM PDT
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y?

  • 08.08.2004 3:06 PM PDT
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wow that was pointless...

  • 08.08.2004 3:14 PM PDT
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that was funny!

  • 08.08.2004 3:32 PM PDT

English is like it is because it is a mish-mash of various languages, with various grammar rules and vocabulary all merged into one bastardisation.

  • 08.08.2004 3:37 PM PDT
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English is the hardest language to learn.

[Edited on 8/8/2004 3:44:42 PM]

  • 08.08.2004 3:44 PM PDT
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LloydChrismas:
wow that was pointless...
Laughter is never pointless.

Jay enjoys the brain-tickling inconsistencies, this language would be less interesting if exceptions to rules were more exceptional.

Either some one has learned all languages in such a way that no bias such as which was learned first or how close one is to the other can interfere with judgement, or some one is making an unbased claim. Which is more likely?

[Edited on 8/8/2004 3:48:41 PM]

  • 08.08.2004 3:46 PM PDT
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english isnt the most widely used language! body language is! i love things like that, but i think its more about reading between the lines and sarcasim and talking metaphorically, rather than speaking directly..

isn't this forum meant to be for pointless talk?

  • 08.08.2004 3:58 PM PDT
Subject: Eww!
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Well, that's true if you define "language" in the most convenient way for your point. It seems implied by context that the starter of this thread was talking about spoken and written language.

Defining "language" to include any way of organizing information in a particular, recognizable format, one could use the laws of physics as an example more common than our body language.

Edit: Yuck, that was sloppy.

[Edited on 8/8/2004 4:03:12 PM]

  • 08.08.2004 4:02 PM PDT
Subject: The Crazy English Language!
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Tsk tsk. You know little about the originations of some words. The hamburger was named that way because it came from HAMBURG, Germany. The eggplant has an eggish look to it. Many names are given due to appearance and location.


And that whole vegetarian/humanitarian bit sounds like something from Yakov Smirnoff.

  • 08.08.2004 4:22 PM PDT
Subject: Eww!
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You do know that Y was probably just sharing something funny, don't you? Jay does not understand your joke, 'Chief (if there is one), so it sounds serious to Jay.

Jay prefers to call it beefburger anyway, it just doesn't seem right to call it hamburger...

  • 08.08.2004 4:44 PM PDT
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Y has been banned 40 times.

I didn't find many hamburgers in Hamburg, but we did find Turkish pizzas though, which is another misnomer because they were'nt even Turkish.

[Edited on 8/8/2004 4:48:29 PM]

  • 08.08.2004 4:47 PM PDT
Subject: The Crazy English Language!
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Posted by: Mike_100
English is the hardest language to learn.


If it is the hardest then why is it used by most people EVERYWHERE? Answer me that.

  • 08.08.2004 4:48 PM PDT
Subject: Eww!
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I've been to Germany. And they have hamburgers. Seriously, the hamburger got it's name from Hamburg, Germany.

  • 08.08.2004 4:49 PM PDT
Subject: The Crazy English Language!
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Actually, I'm pretty sure Russian is harder. 36 pronouns, 18 genetive cases, and every word suffix has to be changed due to gender and case. It's awful.

  • 08.08.2004 4:51 PM PDT
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The reason English is used everywhere is because it is useful to know. You get a lot of English speaking tourists going to random countries so the locals pick up the language and subsequently learn English.

When I was in Hamburg last month, we didn't want any hamburgers. I don't go to a foreign country just to eat food I can get here. And I did believe you when you said that it originated in Hamburg.

[Edited on 8/8/2004 4:55:11 PM]

  • 08.08.2004 4:54 PM PDT
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And a haha to you too, I'm not in school yet.

  • 08.08.2004 5:01 PM PDT
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keep it flowin'

  • 08.08.2004 6:18 PM PDT
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Posted by: goweb
English is like it is because it is a mish-mash of various languages, with various grammar rules and vocabulary all merged into one bastardisation.


no

  • 08.08.2004 6:24 PM PDT
Subject: Eww!
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Jay agrees with Goweb, this language is an interesting mixture. As impure as it is, its abundancy of versatile constructs and inconsistent patterns adopted from many sources allow for brain-tickling ambiguities.

  • 08.08.2004 6:30 PM PDT

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