- Halo53
- |
- Fabled Mythic Member
Yo Halo53, I'm real happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best bungie.net profiles of all time. OF ALL TIME!
Okay, I'll tell you of a few things that actually happened.
I was playing with a few friends on XBL and this one guy says he has had the nickname Quasimoto (SP? The guy from the hunchback of ND) since he was about 11 or 12. Convo as follows.
Person 1- How old are you?
Him- 23
Me- When did the movie come out?
Person 1- 8 years ago
Him- OMG I was 17!
That may be one of those jokes where you had to be there but it was hilarious because A) He was 14, 15. Did the math wrong. B) Who the hell would have a nickname like that at 14, 15? Although he did say a hot girl gave him the nickname...
Later on in the same night, I was writing a letter.
Person 1- Read us the letter.
Me- Okay hold on
Person 2- Wait, count the sentences first.
*Pause*
Me- Um.. is 'Hey.' a sentence?
Person 2- Does it have a period after it?
*Pause*
Me- Yes
Person 2- You're an idiot
Me-soooo... is that a yes or a no?
Another conversation with a totally different person.
Me- You know, they call it white wine and red wine but grapes are purple and green. Why?
Person 3- Maybe they just don't like purple
Me- My favorite shade would be stick a grape up your ass and fart, purple.
Anyway now for the jokes
A man walks into a bar on the 12th floor of a building and says to the guy next to him "There is something with the air currents in this town. If you jump out the window on this floor, the air will bring you around to the other side of the building and you'll land safely on the balcony of the 4th floor."
The 2nd guy says"No way. I'll bet you $100 you can't do that."
The first guy jumps out the window, and lands on the balcony on the 4th floor on the other side of the building. He takes the elevator back up to the 12th floor and collects his money.
The 2nd guy says "No way! How did you do that! I'll bet you $200 you can't do it again. It must be a one time thing."
The first guy does it again and comes back up to the 12th floor. He says to the 2nd guy "You should try it." The 2nd guy says "You know what, if you can do it twice I'll give it a try."
The second man jumps out of the 12th floor window. He falls down to the 10th floor, 5, 3, 2, 1. Splat. He dies.
The bartender leans over to the first guys and says "You know superman, you're a real -blam!- when you're drunk."
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A priest went golfing with a friend of his from high school. Everytime his friend missed, he said "-blam!-, I missed." Eventually the pries said "You should not use language like that. God will not be happy with you and your fate will not be a good one." Eventually they got to the 18th hole and after the friend missed, lightning came down from the sky and killed the priest. A deep voice was heard from the heavens shouting"-blam!-, I missed."