Bungie.net Community
This topic has moved here: Subject: Forum Monkeys protecting their jobs
  • Subject: Forum Monkeys protecting their jobs
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2
Subject: Forum Monkeys protecting their jobs
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

lol

  • 10.05.2005 6:53 AM PDT

Posted by: Gadianton13
It's completely clear that the H3 script that was leaked is real. Just like PR teams that work for the government (but not as serious of course) these forum moderators main job is to kill any rumor or sliver of truth that they see make it to these pages. Just don't be fooled by a simple line from them saying "It's a total lie, don't believe it" or anything like that when it comes to the script that got leaked, they themselves don't know the truth after all. I've worked in PR for some time now and I know how the game works........So forum monkeys go ahead and flame this post, it is your job after all.


You're absolutely correct.

Since our cover's been blown, I thought I'd share a few more secrets we've been hiding from you:

* Shooting rocks on Coagulation does indeed lead you to a new level through the so-called Gates of Hell.
* Bungie's next games are going to be Pimps at Sea, Battle Weasels, and Marathon D'ra'ter. After the success of Bungie's previous dalliance in making multiple games simultaneously, I sure am excited.
* Shishka didn't really come from the waves.
* Pimps at Sea has actually been completed. Bungie is just waiting for the boxes.
* Superjumping is a legitimate strategy to use in Halo 2 multiplayer for skilled players. It also improves the online experience of other people in the game.
* The whole world domination thing is just a joke. Bungie's not a front for anything.
* Gladianton13 will definitely not be loaded onto a giant slingshot aimed at the sun.

Oh, and this belongs in the Septagon. Moving now...

- Reiginko

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 6:55 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Posted by: Gadianton13
So forum monkeys go ahead and flame this post, it is your job after all.

Your mum is my job.
-TGP-

Disclaimer: I agree with whatever Reigi just said.

Why are we monkeys, anyway?

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 6:56 AM PDT
Subject: Forum Monkeys protecting their jobs

Finish the Fight

It's completely clear that the H3 script that was leaked is real. Just like PR teams that work for the government (but not as serious of course) these forum moderators main job is to kill any rumor or sliver of truth that they see make it to these pages. Just don't be fooled by a simple line from them saying "It's a total lie, don't believe it" or anything like that when it comes to the script that got leaked, they themselves don't know the truth after all. I've worked in PR for some time now and I know how the game works........So forum monkeys go ahead and flame this post, it is your job after all.

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 6:41 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

oh -blam!- that was a good one pimp at sea lol

  • 10.05.2005 7:01 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: Reiginko
* Shishka didn't really come from the waves.

He came from the waves, you lie!!!

  • 10.05.2005 7:01 AM PDT

-Quaere verum.

Got a report? Use the report tool or send a pm.
Chairleg Productions presents: 'Console Wars' and 'Games as Art?' (also on Halo Waypoint).

You're absolutely correct.

Since our cover's been blown, I thought I'd share a few more secrets we've been hiding from you:


* Shooting rocks on Coagulation does indeed lead you to a new level through the so-called Gates of Hell.

I've played it. It has pictures of reig's face implanted into the rocks and beneath them the words "I r bee 1337" can be seen.

* Bungie's next games are going to be Pimps at Sea, Battle Weasels, and Marathon D'ra'ter. After the success of Bungie's previous dalliance in making multiple games simultaneously, I sure am excited.

Perfectly true because it's been confirmed by Bill Gates. Infact the beta came out yesterday.

* Shishka didn't really come from the waves.

No. He too comes from Nos's home planet.

* Pimps at Sea has actually been completed. Bungie is just waiting for the boxes.

Also, the shrinkwrap machine is broken.

* Superjumping is a legitimate strategy to use in Halo 2 multiplayer for skilled players. It also improves the online experience of other people in the game.

I like to use it. It takes a brilliant mind to mod your way up there too.

* The whole world domination thing is just a joke. Bungie's not a front for anything.

Yes, you still have your soul too.

* Gladianton13 will definitely not be loaded onto a giant slingshot aimed at the sun.

Why would anyone possibly want to do that?

Oh, and this belongs in the Septagon. Moving now...
But zanzibar is for this talk i thought. Zanzibar is for posting everything.


- Reiginko
-I r bee 1337


[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 7:24 AM PDT

Posted by: Gadianton13
It's completely clear that the H3 script that was leaked is real.

You are correct. I can't wait for the "The Pimp at Sea" chapter!

And by the way, take a look at this.

  • 10.05.2005 7:28 AM PDT

"FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION: Ensure brain is engaged before putting keyboard into gear."
Need a ninja?
Got a cheater? [email]h2cheats@microsoft.com[/email]
Forum Rules.
FAQ.
I'm certifiable.

Posted by: Gadianton13
It's completely clear that the H3 script that was leaked is real.

I have clear title to a bridge in Brooklyn that I could sell to you, too. I have to sell for tax purposes, because Bungie's massive bribe for my silence has put me over the capital gains mark for this year and my accountant recommends selling real estate at a loss to even things out.

-- Steve's resisting the urge to sheer the sheep until their backs bleed. (Not very well, it seems, but still resisting.)

  • 10.05.2005 8:12 AM PDT

Facts are the enemy of tru7h....

Wow, you could cut the tension in this thread with a knife. Thats what happens when you insult the Mods.

Personally i read the script, more our of interest than anything else becasue i don't believe thats its a real leak (but maybe a fake leak?). And damn, it's pretty good (story wise i mean - some of the writing is like pulling teeth!). If it is an early version of the script i cannot wait to play that game. Although there are some major holes in the story and alittle to many deus ex machinas for my liking.

But Guardian, give the Mods a break. They have a job to do, thats why they're there. And they do it really well. If they did a half arsed job you'd be complaining about that too.

-Stu

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 9:04 AM PDT

Add the email above to your MSN to contact me with emergencies on the forum.

FOR CARNAGE, APPLY WITHIN
Marathon, Myth, and MORE (Under construction)

NO U! A Webcomic.
Mob Of Angry Peasants Chat

Hmm, make a jerky post and you get some jerky responses I guess.

Try to be polite and remember, unless you see Peter Jackson with a copy of the script in question, any accusation you make is baseless.

Bungie isn't on a whole a company that will publish blatent lies about something business related. Not in my opinion at the least.

Instead they take pride in remaining aloof, and giving cryptic answers designed to infuriate people.

You seem mad.

I guess it worked.

  • 10.05.2005 9:18 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

At some point in the future I will use my powers of divination to predict the script.

I have already divined that the halo movie will be a musical and the MC will be played by none other than Clint Eastwood!

  • 10.05.2005 9:43 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Don't lie to us, Ninjas. We all know Jason Jones is the leader of both the Illuminati and the inner core of the Knights Templar. We all know he recruited the Ninjas into these secret societies in order to kill concepts like "truth" and "happiness".

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 9:55 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Posted by: Tanikaze
Don't lie to us, Ninjas. We all know Jason Jones is the leader of both the Illuminati and the inner core of the Knights Templar. We all know he recruited the Ninjas into these secret societies in order to kill concepts like "truth" and "happiness".

Me and him have a secret hand shake and everything. Because, of course, if I'm a moderator, I know everything and meet Jason Jones in person regularly.

Oh wait, no I don't. I live in Australia. And, so far, have not heard ANYTHING more about Bungie and their projects than the common folk. I get pretty white text, sure, but I don't get to go to Jason Jones' house to play the Halo 3 alpha.

-TGP-

  • 10.05.2005 10:00 AM PDT

-S

Posted by: Gadianton13
It's completely clear that the H3 script that was leaked is real. Just like PR teams that work for the government (but not as serious of course) these forum moderators main job is to kill any rumor or sliver of truth that they see make it to these pages. Just don't be fooled by a simple line from them saying "It's a total lie, don't believe it" or anything like that when it comes to the script that got leaked, they themselves don't know the truth after all. I've worked in PR for some time now and I know how the game works........So forum monkeys go ahead and flame this post, it is your job after all.


Damn. Frankie, Sketch, Achronos? He got us.

You're the first to figure out the code.

Here's the deal. Jones himself made the decree that, should Bungie's secret methods of subversion amongst the community be discovered, we too must also give him or her the means to come into Bungie and tell them everything else about our games and future game projects.

Step aside, folks, and let the man go through.

The Kirkland Office is a lie. Bungie actually moved Southeast, in the opposite direction of the supposed new office, and into a hangar in Fall City. There are only two kinds of people that know the location of the real office. Bungie employees, and the Microsoft operatives strategically positioned in bars all around the nation.

That's right, bars. You see, Bungie's been letting the press in to see their next game for the past seven years. However, they're so damn drunk by the time they get to the office that when Bungie sticks them in the press room and in front of a fresh bottle of Jack Daniels, they usually pass out within 5 minutes of starting the demo. They wake up back in their homes, with one hell of a hangover, unable to remember having ever been to Bungie or who it is that's taking a shower in their bathroom.

There's a way around this, of course. A pass phrase has been given to all the embedded Microsoft operatives that, when used, will grant the user a free ride and/or planeticket to King County and to the real Bungie Studios.

And now, having solved our riddle, I must tell you this phrase.

First, approach the operative. To figure out which one is the operative, look for either the strongest man in the bar, or the one that appears the least mentally stable. Then, utter the following words allowed:

"Hey, man! Your mom was great last night. She did things to me I didn't know were possible."

You will then be whisked away to play Bungie's next game for as long as you like.

---

In all honesty, you're allowed to believe what you want. However, what your goldfish-like attention to detail isn't recalling is that, before Halo 2 came out, a ridiculous number of similar conspiracies abounded, including a fake "hands on report" of what Halo 2 was like as written by the mind behind Linkin Park. And, every time that someone said "This has to be real, because Bungie says it is fake," they were sorely disappointed.

As moderators, part of our job is to quell rumors. And guess what? We ARE told when things are fake, including fake scripts. We didn't magically sprout ban-weapons, you know. The bankatana was handed to me by Sketch. We have a good relationship with the people at Bungie (hell, I worked there for a year), and keep in contact with the community team regarding the goings-on about the forums. So yes, we DO know a thing or two.

Not that it matters, because I imagine you've convinced yourself with some level of pride that you know the story of a game Bungie hasn't even said they're working on, but I think the intelligent thing to do with ANY "anonymously leaked top secret content" is to take it with a grain of salt.

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 11:26 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

I believe that no one knows what the actual "truth" is except the people who are making it. Someone may have a good hunch, or know what ISN'T the truth, but unless you actually have seen it with your own eyes, you don't know the real truth about anything. I get the feeling the mods the mods arn't told much of anything except things that are spread around that arn't true. Of course I could be wrong, and they could all be liars, all of which we can never know for sure unless we members find proof, which won't happen. If I were you, I would just hold my horses and be surprised when the stuff came out.

  • 10.05.2005 11:49 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Only the paranoid will survive!

I'm a herald of their next game! I'm a prophet! w00t!

*Does prophetic stuff*

  • 10.05.2005 11:54 AM PDT

"FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION: Ensure brain is engaged before putting keyboard into gear."
Need a ninja?
Got a cheater? [email]h2cheats@microsoft.com[/email]
Forum Rules.
FAQ.
I'm certifiable.

There are those who said this post would never come. What have they to say now?

It doesn't get any more official than that, folks. It's fake.

-- Steve'll now recline back in his grav-throne and cackle evilly.

  • 10.05.2005 11:57 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Hey Shishka, I tried what you said and all I got was a broken collar bone, and a cracked vertibra. Did I ask the wrong guy? He seemed big and mentally unstable enough to be one of them.

  • 10.05.2005 12:06 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Does anyone have a link to the fake (l underlined it because l know it's fake) Halo3 script? l wanna read it outta curiosity. And the link in HALO3 script leaked?? lsn't working.

  • 10.05.2005 12:13 PM PDT

-Quaere verum.

Got a report? Use the report tool or send a pm.
Chairleg Productions presents: 'Console Wars' and 'Games as Art?' (also on Halo Waypoint).

Posted by: Pimp at Sea
I'm a herald of their next game! I'm a prophet! w00t!

*Does prophetic stuff*


I must be the leader of all prophet's then. I get the bigger rocks for the public stonings.

I'm glad we can put this all in the past now it is confirmed. The moderators' job is to flame.... because you know, what else would they do? So what if it's against the rules? they're abouve the rules because they all work for Bungie.

/zest of sarcasm

[Edited on 10/5/2005]

  • 10.05.2005 12:16 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: Anton P Nym
There are those who said this post would never come. What have they to say now?

It doesn't get any more official than that, folks. It's fake.

-- Steve'll now recline back in his grav-throne and cackle evilly.


I'm actually concerned that Frankie posted that. For a lot of people out there that statement will confirm that the Halo 3 script is legit. "They really don't want us to think it's real, so it must be real!". As much as I'd like to believe that people would trust Bungie, it seems very popular to instantly hold as fact anything that sounds like good news(Or something people would like to believe at least).

  • 10.05.2005 1:17 PM PDT

"FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION: Ensure brain is engaged before putting keyboard into gear."
Need a ninja?
Got a cheater? [email]h2cheats@microsoft.com[/email]
Forum Rules.
FAQ.
I'm certifiable.

Posted by: Tanikaze
I'm actually concerned that Frankie posted that. For a lot of people out there that statement will confirm that the Halo 3 script is legit. "They really don't want us to think it's real, so it must be real!". As much as I'd like to believe that people would trust Bungie, it seems very popular to instantly hold as fact anything that sounds like good news(Or something people would like to believe at least).

All Bungie can do is put the facts out for people. An official denial is a serious boon to us moderators because it gives an answer that is recognisably from "those in the know." The conspiracy nuts will believe whatever they wish anyway... if orbital photos can't kill the "flat earth" theory, there's no reason to believe that any proof is adequate to convince 100% of an audience that they're wrong.

-- Steve has, alas, ceased to worry about this flaw in human nature... does this make him a cynic?

  • 10.05.2005 1:29 PM PDT

  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2