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  • Subject: [Novel] Galm, guardians of hell (Chapter 4 is up!!!)
Subject: [Novel] Galm, guardians of hell (Chapter 4 is up!!!)

Chapter 1 - Unintended Discovery



New Rayasher
November 16, 2545
2400 Hours
Special Warfare Group Three
Galm Team

<<"This is command to Galm 1, are you and your team in position?">>

Gale-G135 took a look at the four silhouettes crouching behind him. Still like stone statues in their MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor/R variants.

<<"Yes command were in position. The innies should be coming in from the Northwest through the valley, with the package. When they arrive, that's when we will strike.">> Gale's voice echoed through his helmet, as he continued. <<"Command, tell me why were being wasted on this mission? Arent the II's supposed to take care of the innies?">>

The comm went quite for a moment, until the men decided to speak up. <<"Spartan-G135 this is official ONI business, now do as your told.">>

Gale grinned under his helmet. <<"Copy that command.">>

The comm went completely dead and Gale turned back to his team.

<<"Alright you heard command, this is official ONI business so don't screw this up. Galm 3, I want you to find a suitable position on that ridge to the North. Galm 2, 4, and five your with me on that abandoned building next to the main road. Let's move it Spartans!">>

Galm three quickly went about to her position, with her anti-material sniper rifle, while the rest of the team followed Gale down a muddy path. Curse the everlasting hurricanes on this godforsaken planet, terrorizing the colonist. Gale felt himself sink in and out of the mud, as a fanfare of lightning began to dance across the sky. This was soon followed by small trickles of rain, cold to the touch.

Gale found himself holding his BR55 Battle Rifle tighter than usual. He peeked his head over the low concrete wall that provided him some cover. The rain was starting to come down much harder and small gusts of winds began to take form.

If the innies didn't hurry up, Galm Team would end up in a mess of blue water.


[Edited on 02.18.2011 9:19 PM PST]

  • 09.26.2010 9:38 AM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, gaurdians of hell (Chapter 2 is up!!!)

<<"Gale the convoy just passed my position, take care of the stragglers.">>

Stacy-G321 heaved her Anti-material sniper rifle and aimed down the sights. Putting the crosshairs on the temple of the driver in the lead truck. She slowly slipped her index finger on the trigger and squeezed. The head of the driver rocked back from the explosive force of the bullet, which left a large gaping hole in its wake. The passenger sitting next to him tried to comprehend what happened, but the truck was already on slippery path to a solid rock wall.

After witnessing the explosion, Stacy quickly turned her attention to the large 18 wheeler truck that was coming to a halt. She shot and killed both the driver and passenger, before taking her time to reload.

<<"Galm 3 to Galm 1, the convoy has come to a halt. You can move in and secure the package.">>

Gale felt himself let out a sigh of relief.

<<"Copy that Stacy. 2, 4 and 5 lets move out.">>

Gale and the rest of the III's made their way to the truck. The rain had started to come down more violently, splashing against the shattered windshield. Gale slowly made his way to the back of the truck. He couldnt help but notice a few red blips on his motion tracker, but he thought it was just the interferance from the storm.

<<"Galm 5 open up the back.">>

Rick-G123 made a slight nod at Gale, before placing a small demo charge on the back door. He armed the charge and took a few steps back. A few seconds later the door was blown open, revealing a small group of 4 schackled Kig-yar. Stripped of their armor and belongings, the Kig-yar shouted at the spartans in their irregular language. Rick in a since of urgency, rose up his Battle rifle and aimed at the Kig-yar.

<<"Rick stand down.">>

Rick sighed and lowered his weapon, but kept a tight grip on it.

<<"So is this really the package, or did we just get played?">>

Gale shrugged and watched as the water on the ground began to get to mid ankle level.

<<"I dont know, ill try to contact command before we drown.">>



[Edited on 12.28.2010 12:14 PM PST]

  • 09.26.2010 9:39 AM PDT
Subject: Halo short story

Ignore my gamertag. It's actually Dragonzzilla.

Very nice

  • 09.26.2010 7:19 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, gaurdians of hell (Chapter 2 is up!!!)

New Rayasher
November 17, 2545
1650 Hours
Special Warfare Group Three
Galm Team


"How many of them Major?"

Gale looked at the wrinkled old man in-front of him, who bore the rank of General. Nobody has ever called him Major, but it didn't take long for him to reply.

"Four sir."

"Only four?" The General placed his arms across his chest.

Gale nodded at the General.

"Yes sir, only four of them."

The General sighed and muttered something about intelligence reports and left the room without a word. Gale sighed and left the room also, but he headed directly to his quarters in a steady stride.

Without his armor on, Gale felt like a ghost. Void of any physical restraints, able to take his augmented body past the human limit. This made Gale feel almost inhuman, or as the regular marines would call him, "Freak." Hearing that word so many times throughout his entire life made Gale cringe. If only they would see him now.

Gale finally reached his small, dimly lit room: one bed, one bath, and a small desk that acted as his work station. Home sweet home. Gale closed the door behind him and laid on his bed. When was the last time he had ever slept in a real bed? Gale didn't bother to remember for he was already fast asleep.


[Edited on 12.28.2010 12:19 PM PST]

  • 10.26.2010 9:47 PM PDT
Subject: Halo short story

anyone?

  • 10.28.2010 4:59 AM PDT

*sigh*

  • 10.29.2010 4:31 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, gaurdians of hell (Chapter 2 is up!!!)

New Rayasher Star System
Divine Assualt CCS-class Battlecruiser
18th Cycle
300 Units

Vrutt Harkeemee looked at the hologram of the human planet. His burnt orange armor gleaming against the light. Small (triangle like) objects massed themselves all over the planet, the sign of forerunner artifacts. Vrutt sighed and turned off the hologram. He roamed the bridge watching his fellow Sangheili brothers.

"Karm, what's the status on the Kig-yar ship?" As he spoke, Vrutt could feel the artificial air fill his lungs. "They haven't sent back a report on the artifacts."

Karm Turmee, Vrutts second-in-command looked up from his work station. "My brother, it seems that the Kig-yar ship has..."

Vrutt felt the fear in the Sangheili's words. "On with it, or ill have you for heresy!"

The scent of all the Sangheili on the bridge rose. Heresy? Vrutt never accused anybody of Heresy?

Karm cleared his throat. "It seems that the Kig-yar ship has been destroyed."

"By what!?" Vrutt tightened his fist and made his way to Karm. "By what, Zealot?"

Karm looked up at Vrutt and slowly worded "Humans" with his mandibles.

"Ha! Humans?! We shall get rid of those filth at once!" Vrutt raised his fist in anger. "Those mongrels have been a thorn in our side for to long! We shall get rid of them once and for all!"

Vrutt made his way to the command chair. He cooly sat on it and pointed at the planet in the distance.

"For the Prophets!"


[Edited on 12.28.2010 12:24 PM PST]

  • 12.23.2010 9:08 PM PDT
Subject: Halo short story

bump

  • 12.25.2010 2:42 AM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!

Please, just keep writing this! Don't worry about lack of comments. Just keep writing until you finish.

  • 12.25.2010 3:24 AM PDT

Is it good? Ok? Does it need to improve??

  • 12.25.2010 8:51 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, gaurdians of hell (Chapter 2 is up!!!)

Chapter 2 - Then there stood one


New Rayasher
Hortgh City
November 19, 2545
1400 Hours
25th Marine Battalion
Crimson Tide

PFC James Lowher sat nervously in his seat, watching his Sergeant stand arrogantly near the ramp of the pelican, the sunlight shining into the passanger's cabin. James presumly thought he was staring at the outskirts below. He didnt mind this, for he already knew how the Sergeant was, quite. The men in the rest of the squad wouldnt adhere that comment, but James just shook his head.

"Hey sarge?!" Another private in the squad known as Retch broke the eerie silence of the cabin, trying to get the Sergeants attention. "Sarge!" The loud roar of the pelican's engines drowned out the futile yell.

Fortunately he turned around to catch a glimpse of Retch.

"Yes, what is it, Retch?" The Sergeant rolled up the sleeves on his combat fatigues, revealing a few tattoos and scars from battles before the Covenant.

Retch looked nervously at his Assualt Rifle and sighed. "Whats going on, Sarge? Rumor mill is that the Covenant are attacking. I mean, what happened to our orbital defenses?"

The Sergeant gripped the sling for his Battle Rifle and made his way to Retch.

"Yes, it's the covenant alright and our orbital defenses? They're probably smoldering pieces of metal in space right now, but you know what, private?" The Sarge paused himself, thinking of his next words. "Your a damned UNSC marine, now live up to your title and man up."


Retch slowly nodded.

"Alright then, any other questions?" The Sarge looked around the cabin as nobody raised their hand. "Good, let's lock and load."

The men let out a heartfelt "Hoorah!" before departing the pelican and fanning out on a schoolyard playground. James
aimed his assault rifle, surveying his new surroundings as the Sergeant tried to get combat orders. It seemed so peaceful....

(wat is wrong with that paragrahp?)



[Edited on 12.28.2010 12:31 PM PST]

  • 12.25.2010 10:56 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, gaurdians of hell

"I will show you how a true Prussian officer fights!"

"And i will show you where the iron crosses grow..."

- "Cross of Iron"

A few things. Please make them longer you actually have peaked my interest. 2- its Hoorah!. and that's about it.

  • 12.26.2010 12:40 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, gaurdians of hell (Chapter 2 is up!!!)

Will Do

New Rayasher
November 19, 2545
1510 Hours
Special Warfare Group Three
Galm Team


"Covenant? What do you mean Covenant?" Gale looked suspicously at the General infront of him, then at his squad in the command centre. They seemed oddly innocent without their armor on.

"Yes, the Covenant." The General looked into the Spartan's deep brown eyes. "ONI presumes they're here for the Jackals, but i think not." The general turned his gaze away from Gale and turned to the massive screen in the center of the room. A dazzling image of a Covenant battlecruiser looming over a city popped up. "They're attacking Hortgh City and not here, which wouldnt matter anyways, we're way too deep underground."

Gale nodded and scanned the image once more. "We're going to that city right, to help those civilians?"

The General shook his head and tapped a button near the screen. A new image popped up, showing a gravity lift near the city square.

"No, your objective is to get on board that cruiser via gravity lift and destroy it. Besides, we have boots on the ground, so the civilians are taken care of."

The other spartans in the room gave Gale a blank stare, hoping for his approval.

"......Yes, but how?"

"A Tac-Nuke, or also known as a Fury Tactical Nuclear Weapon." The General pressed the button again, and the image of a small infalted-like ball appeared on the screen. "With a nuclear blast of 1.3 km this should be enough to take that ship down."

Gale nodded, easily understanding the plan. "And transportation, sir?"

"You will arrive via pelican dropship, two clicks away from the lift. I trust you and your team won't fail." The Genral pressed the button one last time, before giving the spartans one final nod and exiting the room.

Gale gave the General a quick salute and turned back to his team. "Suit up in ten and get to the pelican, we've got work to do.."


New Rayasher
November 19, 2545
1520 Hours
25th Marine Battalion
Crimson Tide


"Incoming!!!!"

James watched as the blue, seering-hot blob of plasma struck the makeshift barricade and the splash damage struck a group of marines. As they screamed in agony for a medic, James tried to remember how he got into this situation.

The squad had departed the schoolyard and made its way to a medical station to help evacuate civilians with two other squads. The evacuation was going smoothly until a covenant cadre of wraith tanks and infantry began to attack them. Now, they were stuck here hoping for reinforcements.

"Lowher! Get your ass over here!"

James looked around and saw the Sergeant calling his name. He hesitated a bit, before making a mad dash, ducking his head to avoid the deadly bolts of plasma.

"Yes, sarge?" James felt himself panting as sweat trickled down his brow. The firefight was growing even louder now.

"Go to the east wing!" Another blue blob of plasma struck the barricade, hitting more marines. "Damn! Get to the east wing and find Sergeant Barron, he and his men should have the rocket launchers!" The sarge grabbed James and pushed him. "Get moving!"

James nodded like a distraught baboon, and took off towards the east wing. He checked the ammo counter on assault rifle, he hadn't fired a shot since the engagement began. As James ran up the steps to the east wing and down the hall, he was violently struck on his side. The blow brought him down to his knees. Dropping his weapon, he felt the side of his body and tried to breath in.

"Agghh!!"

The pain of broken ribs made James try to scrummage for his med kit, but he was yanked by the collar and raised up into the air by an elite. The Warrior's blue armor gleamed agianst the light, while it pondered on how to kill James.

"Hey sharkface! I bet your gods are nothing but wasteful -blam!-!"

The elite dropped James and snarled at the marine down the hall. Taking aim with its plasma rifle, the elite fired. Blue plasma bolts streaked down the hall, nearly hitting the marine.

"Is that all you've got!?" The marine laughed at the elite. "My grandma could shoot better then that!"

The elite snarled once more and charged down the hall in rage This failed, for the marine had friends hiding behind cover. A hail of bullets bounced off of the Elite's shield, making it flare and dissipate. After a few more seconds of concentrated fire the elite dropped to the floor: dead.

James watched this whole ordeal from the ground and managed to get his med kit. He stuck the biofoam into his injured side and slowly got up.

The marines made their way to James. All of them looked young and worn out. The marine from earlier came up to James and patted him on the shoulder.

"Damn son, you just survived an elite. I think you deserve a medal."

A bit of forced laughter came from the group of marines behind him.

"I'm Sergeant Miles Barron." Miles a thirty-something that actually looked twenty, gave James a slight grin. "And you are?"

"James..... PFC James Lowher, I need your rockets now. Were taking a beating down below, Covenant wraiths and what-not."

Miles nodded and eyed the PFC. "Well, the thing is we: dont have any...."

"What? What do you mean?" James looked at Miles, a bit puzzled.

"Well, the other squad with them didn't make it." Miles shrugged. "But we do have some support coming in about an hour."

James rubbed his side and leaned himself against a wall. "I dont think we have an hour..."

[Edited on 12.28.2010 12:44 PM PST]

  • 12.26.2010 2:19 PM PDT

New Rayasher
Hortgh City
Divine Assualt CCS-class Battlecruiser
20th Cycle
234 Units

Vrutt paced the bridge impatiently. Hearing the reports of the battle below. He had no worry of human ships coming any time soon. All ten of them had been destroyed in the orbital battle hours earlier. Now all he had to do was get those blasted artifacts.

"Shipmaster, we have an incoming message from the main fleet." The elite at the communications station pressed a few buttons. "The feed should be coming in..... now."

Vrutt nodded and looked at the giant screen. It flickered and fizzed, until the menacing image of an elite in all white armor appeared before him.

"Fleetmaster." Vrutt felt distaste in his voice. "What are the will of the Prophets?"

"No, not the will of the Prophets, but the will of I." The image flickered and fizzed some more. "I understand that you stumbled upon a human planet containing aritfacts?"

Vrutt nodded. "Yes, but the humans are making it difficult."

The fleetmaster chuckled. "Vrutt Harkeemee having a hard time with humans? My brother, what shall I ever do with you?"

Vrutt looked at the image of his brother Zygho. Oh, the day he yearned to kill him and rule over the Harkeemee keep.

"Well, my brother, can the Fleet of Insulance come and aid me in my peril?"

Zygho chuckled again. "Why wouldnt I? After all, you are my brother."

Vrutt nodded and the image feed cut off. He turned to Karm, who was busy directing orders to the troops on the ground.

"Karm, take Naker and Borhee. Deal with the humans below."

The red-armored Zealot nodded at Vrutt and left the bridge. As he made he way through the maze-like halls, Karm looked down at his green-hilted energy sword.

"When i draw this weapon, it demands blood. And the blood of my enemy it shall get."


New Rayasher
Hortgh City
November 19, 2545
1625 Hours
Special Warfare Group Three
Galm Team

Gale watched as the pelican eased itself near the roof of the building. He grabbed the suitcase-sized black box, carrying the nuclear device. Taking a few steps down the ramp and onto the concrete structure, Gale motioned for his squad to follow.

The pelican picked up its ramp and slowly flew off into the distance.

Checking the intergrated map in his HUD, Gale sighed. He settled the case on the ground and unslung his battle rifle.

"Were at the wrong LZ."

The squad looked at Gale puzzled. Stacy was the first to speak up.

"Then we hoof it, right?"

The Major shrugged. "I guess so. It's not that far from here." Gale picked up the case and slung his battle rifle. "Let's move it."

The squad nodded as they followed their leader down the building to the ground below. After a few minutes of walking on the abandoned city streets, their motion trackers flared up with multiple red dots. The sound of audible gunfire and plasma bolts could be heard in the distance.

Taking his squad through a set of stores and up a flight of stairs, Gale caught a nice flanking position of the ongoing firefight. He set down his things and zoomed in on what was going on. Turning the teamcom on, Gale spoke.

<<"We got covie tanks and infantry pinning some of our boys down in that medical station. We might need their help with our mission, so the more the merrier.">>

Four green lights blinked on Gale's HUD, a sign of the squad's approval.

<<"Alright, Stacy, Rick your with me. Nate and Jill, you two stay here and guard the nuke. Pipe up if you're in serious trouble.">> Gale felt himself stretch that word a bit.

Nate and Jill's lights blinked twice. They knew what was entrusted with them.

Gale grabbed his weapon while motioning for Stacy and Rick to follow. What happened next was sheer chaos. Stacy had found herself a comfortable sniping position and began to take care of the enemy infantry ripping them to shreds, leaving the Wraith tanks for Gale and Rick.

"Take this!"

Rick grabbed the elite driver by the neck and pulled him out of his seat. Dragging the poor monster down the wraith and next to a few dead grunts. The elite snarled in peril, making Rick laugh.

"Im sorry, but i dont understand anything your saying."

Rick unpolarized his visor showing the elite his slayer, a man with chrystal clear blue eyes and a devilish grin.

"Now you die."

Taking his left leg, Rick picked up his heavy boot and struck it down on the elite's face. Purple blood squished out as the Spartan relentlessly stomped on the now dead warrior. Rick himself noticed this and stopped, taking time to look at the mess of blood and flesh dripping off of his boot.

"Did you really have to do that?"

Rick turned to see Gale and Stacy staring at him, Stacy the one that asked the obvious question. He polarized his visor, a wicked smile came across his face.

"Yes."

That was all that he needed to say, as he walked toward the barricaded medical station, yelling out at the marines.

Stacy shook her head, patting Gale on the shoulder.

"I can't believe you have to command that."

"You don't know the half of it." Gale walked away from Stacy, surveying the battlefield. A slew of dead bodies lay across the floor, Jackals, Grunts, even some Elites. All were dead.

"How many do you think we killed?" Stacy eyed Gale, looking at his armored body. A fluster of feelings she shouldn't have rushed all over her. She felt her heartbeat elevating, hoping that Gale felt the same way about her.

Gale shrugged "Dont know, dont care." Tapping the side of his helmet, he called for the others. <<"Nate, Jill, get over here with the nuke.">>

Stacy sighed and made her way to the marines, hoping Rick hadn't torn them apart, leaving Gale to follow behind like a dazed puppy.

"You're hopeless, Gale."



[Edited on 12.28.2010 12:57 PM PST]

  • 12.27.2010 7:09 PM PDT

This concludes chapter two. (if anybody is reading this) Chapter three will be up hopefully tomorrow.

  • 12.27.2010 7:44 PM PDT
Subject: Halo short story

-Gr33n Knight

My stories:

Streams of Fire

Jiralhanae

Seems good so far. I did find a few mistakes.

The General sighed and muttered something about intellegiance reports and left the room with out a word. Without is one word. Nothing big.

With out his armor on, Gale felt like a ghost. Void of any physical restraints, able to take his augmented body pass the human limit. Three things here. Without, again, is one word. The second sentence is a fragment, neither "void of any physical restraints", nor "able to take his body pass the human limit" are complete. Also, it should be past the human limit, not pass.
I believe it should read:Without his armor on, Gale felt like a ghost. Void of any physical restraints, he was able to take his augmented body past the human limit.

Gale finally reached his small dimly lit room. One bed, one bath, and a small desk that acted as his work station. Few things here as well. It's missing a comma, and the second sentence is a fragment. Should be:Gale finally reached his small, dimly-lit room: one bed, one bath, and a small desk that acted as his work station.

Small triangle like objects massed themselves all over the planet, the sign of forerunner artifacts."triangle like" should be hyphenated (triangle-like).

"They havent sent back a report on the artifacts."

Karm Turmee, Vrutts second in command looked up from his work station.
Apostrophe is missing; should be hyphenated. "They haven't sent back a report on the artifacts."

Karm Turmee, Vrutts second-in-command looked up from his work station.


"By what!?" Vrutt tightened his fist and made his way to Karm. "By what Zealot?" There should be a comma in the last part of this line. It sounds as if he is asking which Zealot destroyed the ship. Should be:"By what!?" Vrutt tightened his fist and made his way to Karm. "By what, Zealot?"

PFC James Lowher sat nervously in his seat. Watching his Sergeant stand arrogantly near the ramp of the pelican. The sunlight shining into the passanger cabin. James presumly thought he was staring at the outskirts below. He didnt mind this, for he already knew how the Sergeant was, quite. The men in the rest of the squad wouldnt adhere that comment, but James just shook his head. A few things here. There are a few fragments, "passanger" should be "passenger's", "presumly" isn't a word (I assume it is "presumably"?), "quite" should be "quiet" if I'm reading that right, wouldnt should be wouldn't, and I think it should be "adhere to that comment... Should be:PFC James Lowher sat nervously in his seat, watching his Sergeant stand arrogantly near the ramp of the pelican, the sunlight shining into the passenger's cabin. James presumably thought he was staring at the outskirts below. He didn't mind this, for he already knew how the Sergeant was, quiet. The men in the rest of the squad wouldn't adhere to that comment, but James just shook his head.

"Yes what is it Retch?" The Sergeant rolled up the sleeves on his combat fatigues reavealing a few tattoos and scars from battles before the covenant.

Retch looked nervously at his Assualt Rifle and sighed. "Whats going on Sarge? Rumor mill is that the covenant are attacking. I mean what happened to our orbital defenses?"

The Sergeant gripped the sling for his Battle Rifle and made his way to Retch.

"Yes, its the covenant alright and our orbital defenses? There probably smoldering peices of metal in space right now, but you now what private?" The Sarge paused himself thinking of his next words. "Your a damn UNSC marine, now live up to your title and man up."
A few things here too, I'll underline the mistakes in my correction."Yes, what is it, Retch?" The Sergeant rolled up the sleeves on his combat fatigues, revealing a few tattoos and scars from battles before the Covenant.

Retch looked nervously at his Assualt Rifle and sighed. "What's going on, Sarge? Rumor mill is that the Covenant are attacking. I mean, what happened to our orbital defenses?"

The Sergeant gripped the sling for his Battle Rifle and made his way to Retch.

"Yes, it's the Covenant alright, and our orbital defenses? They're probably smoldering pieces of metal in space right now, but you know what, private?" The Sarge paused himself, thinking of his next words. "Your a damned UNSC marine, now live up to your title and man up."


"Alright then any other questions?" The Sarge looked around the cabin as nobody raised their hand. "Good, lets lock and load."

The men let out a heartfelt "Hoorah!" before departing the pelican and fanning out on a school yard playground. James
aimed his assualt rifle surveying his new surroundings, as the Sergeant tried to get combat orders. It seemed so peaceful...
Same deal as before."Alright then, any other questions?" The Sarge looked around the cabin as nobody raised their hand. "Good, let's lock and load."

The men let out a heartfelt "Hoorah!" before departing the pelican and fanning out on a schoolyard playground. James aimed his assault rifle, surveying his new surroundings as the Sergeant tried to get combat orders. It seemed so peaceful...


"Covenant? What do you mean Covenant?" Gale looked suspicously at the General in front of him, then at his squad in the command centre. They seemed oddly innocent without their armor on.

"Yes, the Covenant." The General looked into the Spartan's deep brown eyes. "ONI presumes that they're here for the Jackals, but I think not." The general turned his gaze away from Gale and turned to the massive screen in the center of the room. A dazzling image of a Covenant battlecruiser looming over a city popped up. "They're attacking Hortgh City and not here, which wouldn't matter anyways, we're way too deep underground."

Gale nodded and scanned the image once more. "We're going to that city right, to help those civilians?"


"No, your objective is to get on board that cruiser via gravity lift and destroy it. Besides, we have boots on the ground, so the civilians are taken care of."

"A Tac-Nuke, or also known as a Fury Tactical Nuclear Weapon." The General pressed the button again, and the image of a small inflated-like ball appeared on the screen. "With a nuclear blast of 1.3 km this should be enough to take that ship down."

Gale nodded, easily understanding the plan. "And transportation, sir?"

"You will arrive via pelican dropship, two clicks away from the lift. I trust you and your team won't fail." The General pressed the button one last time, before giving the spartans one final nod and exiting the room.

Gale gave the General a quick salute and turned back to his team. "Suit up in ten and get to the pelican, we've got work to do.."


James watched as the blue, searing-hot blob of plasma struck the makeshift barricade and the splash damage struck a group of marines.

Now, they were stuck here hoping for reinforcements.

"Yes, sarge?" James felt himself panting as sweat trickled down his brow.

"Damn! Get to the east wing and find Sergeant Barron, he and his men should have the rocket launchers!"

He checked the ammo counter on assault rifle, he hadn't fired a shot since the engagement began. As James ran up the steps to the east wing and down the hall, he was violently struck on his side. The blow brought him down to his knees. Dropping his weapon, he felt the side of his body and tried to breath in.

The Warrior's blue armor gleamed agianst the light, while it pondered on how to kill James.

Taking aim with its plasma rifle, the elite fired. Blue plasma bolts streaked down the hall, nearly hitting the marine.

"Is that all you've got!?" The marine laughed at the elite."

The elite snarled once more and charged down the hall in rageThis failed, for the marine had friends hiding behind cover. A hail of bullets bounced off of the Elite's shield, making it flare and dissipate. After a few more seconds of concentrated fire the elite dropped to the floor: dead.

The marines made their way to James. All of them looked young and worn out. The marine from earlier came up to James and patted him on the shoulder.

"Damn son, you just survived an elite. I think you deserve a medal."

A bit of forced laughter came from the group of marines behind him.

"I'm Sergeant Miles Barron." Miles, a thirty-something that actually looked twenty, gave James a slight grin. "And you are?"

"James..... PFC James Lowher, I need your rockets now. Were taking a beating down below, Covenant wraiths and what-not."

Miles nodded and eyed the PFC. "Well, the thing is: we[ dont have any...."

"What? What do you mean?" James looked at Miles, a bit puzzled.

"Well, the other squad with them didn't make it." Miles shrugged. "But we do have some support coming in about an hour."


continued in next post...

  • 12.27.2010 10:49 PM PDT

-Gr33n Knight

My stories:

Streams of Fire

Jiralhanae

...

Vrutt paced the bridge impatiently. Hearing the reports of the battle below. He had no worry of human ships coming any time soon. All ten of them had been destroyed in the orbital battle hours earlier. Now all he had to do was get those blasted artifacts.

"Shipmaster, we have an incoming message from the main fleet."

"No, not the will of the Prophets, but the will of I."

The fleetmaster chuckled. "Vrutt Harkeemee having a hard time with humans? My brother, what shall I ever do with you?"

Oh, the day he yearned to kill him and rule over the Harkeemee keep.

"Well, my brother, can the Fleet of Insulance come and aid me in my peril?"

Zygho chuckled again. "Why wouldn't I? After all, you are my brother."

Vrutt nodded and the image feed cut off. He turned to Karm, who was busy directing orders to the troops on the ground.

"Karm, take Naker and Borhee. Deal with the humans below."

The red-armored Zealot nodded at Vrutt and left the bridge. As he made he way through the maze-like halls, Karm looked down at his green-hilted energy sword.


Gale watched as the pelican eased itself near the roof of the building. He grabbed the suitcase-sized black box, carrying the nuclear device. Taking a few steps down the ramp and onto the concrete structure, Gale motioned for his squad to follow.

The pelican picked up its ramp and slowly flew off into the distance.


"Then we hoof it, right?"

The Major shrugged. "I guess so. It's not that far from here." Gale picked up the case and slung his battle rifle. "Let's[u] move it."

The squad nodded as they followed their leader down the building [u]to
the ground below.


Four green lights blinked on Gale's HUD, a sign of the squad's approval.This avoids the "came on on Gale's HUD" problem, while still making sense.

Nate and Jill, you two stay here and guard the nuke. Pipe up if you're in serious trouble.">> Gale felt himself stretch that word a bit.

Nate and Jill's lights blinked twice. They knew what was entrusted with them.

Gale grabbed his weapon while motioning for Stacy and Rick to follow.


Rick unpolarized his visor showing the elite his slayer, a man with chrystal clear blue eyes and a devilish grin.

Purple blood squished out as the Spartan relentlessly stomped on the now-dead warrior. Rick himself noticed this and stopped, taking time to look at the mess of blood and flesh dripping off of his boot.

Rick turned to see Gale and Stacy staring at him, Stacy the one that asked the obvious question. He polarized his visor, a wicked smile came across his face.

"Yes."

That was all that he needed to say, as he walked toward the barricaded medical station, yelling out at the marines.


"I can't believe you have to command that."

"You don't know the half of it." Gale walked away from Stacy, surveying the battlefield. A slew of dead bodies lay across the floor, Jackals, Grunts, even some Elites. All were dead.

"How many do you think we killed?" Stacy eyed Gale, looking at his armored body. A fluster of feelings she shouldn't have rushed all over her. She felt her heartbeat elevating, hoping that Gale felt the same way about her.

Gale shrugged "Don't know, don't care." Tapping the side of his helmet, he called for the others. <<"Nate, Jill, get over here with the nuke.">>

Stacy sighed and made her way to the marines, hoping Rick hadn't torn them apart, leaving Gale to follow behind like a dazed puppy.

"You're hopeless, Gale."
Stary isn't a word, so I replaced it with the closest word I could think of.




Overall, the story is shaping up well, and seems like a fine addition to the Gallery. This should get pinned if you keep writing it. One thing you need to watch out for is tense (changing between -ing and -ed). Also, keep an eye out for apostrophes; they were left out quite often. Commas were excluded a lot as well. If you haven't already, use a browser with spell-check built in. There were a few non-existent words, and words with scrambled or missing letters ("assault" on numerous occasions, "i"'s and "e"'s switched in others).

Sorry about all the corrections, I'm a bit of a grammar freak (although you wouldn't know it by reading my story... I need to go back and edit it.) Don't be discouraged if you don't get a bunch of comments. I've had five people comment on my story, and I have seven chapters up. Once you establish yourself and get into it, you should get more readers and comments. One suggestion I can make is to read the fan fictions of others, give them some advice or a suggestion, and ask for the same in return, kind of like I'm doing now...
I would love some criticism, advice, or suggestions on my fan fiction: "Streams of Fire". Feel free to do any of the aforementioned activities with my story...

  • 12.27.2010 10:50 PM PDT

Thank you for all of those corrections. Ill start writing in microsoft word or something.

  • 12.28.2010 11:57 AM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, guardians of hell (Chapter 3 is up!!!)

The beginning is a bit short, but hopefull yall enjoy.


Chapter 3 - Solitary Confinement


New Rayasher
Location Unknown

Poryhu looked nervously, at the steel bars a few feet away from him. The guard on the other side stood at attention, while another man of higher stature stared at the lone Kig-yar.

The man grim and barely shaved, sighed at the Kig-yar. He pressed a few buttons on a console near the cell, opening the steel doors and then closing them. The guard tried to give a verbal warning to the man, but he just waved it off. This puzzled Poryhu a bit, why would a human of higher stature be alone in here with him, a Kig-yar?

As Poryhu pondered on this, the human spoke.

"Kig-yar tell me, do you understand the words Im saying?"

Poryhu looked up at the man, his humorless gray eyes peering through his soul. The Kig-yar flustered a bit, trying to remember the human language that the Prophets yearned the Covenant species to learn.

Poryhu hesitantly nodded.

"Good." The man smiled. "Can you speak our language?"

Poryhu shook his head. The thought of knowing what the human wanted gave him fear. Something that the holy Prophets wouldn't allow. Something that the Elites hated the most, fear.

"Well then, I guess were gonna have to use this." The man stuck his hands in the pockets of his crisp gray uniform. Moments later, he pulled out two irregular shaped square, with a collar. He took one collar and strapped it around his neck. He took the other and motioned for the Kig-yar to do the same.

After fumbling with the human device, Poryhu put it around his longer yet fragile neck.

"Can you understand me?"

Poryhu's heart raced. Was the man infront of him speaking the Kig-yar language through that device? Poryhu shook his head.

"I mustn't understand you. We are enemies intertwined in a bitter war to the death. My Prophets will not stop at nothing, until the complete genocide of your race. Until your home-world is burnt to ashes and dust."

The man chuckled, amused by the little Kig-yar's words.

"How did you find our little paradise of a planet?"

Poryhu spat on the grimy floor.

"I shall tell you nothing. Now take this translator off me at once human!"

The man laughed, revealing a few golden pieces of teeth in his mouth.

"Tell me nothing and you will end up like your other Kig-yar friends."

Poryhu winced. The human dared to harm his crew? He should've known this planet was a waste of time, but he had to follow the orders of that Elite Vrutt.

"Okay human, ask and i shall answer."

The man crossed his arms behind his back. "How did you get to this planet? How did your ship get shot down?"

The Kig-yar smirked. Why would this human ask him a question he already knew the answer to?

"We were on a routine mission for artifact identification. When we neared the dark side of your planet, we were struck by something." Poryhu paused to recollect his memory, the human glaring at him. "My ship-master made the difficult decision of landing. We stayed undetected for a few cycles, until your soldiers appeared. There was a brief firefight, then after that I cannot reconcile my memory."

The man seemed a bit uneasy, but pressed on with the questions. After a few hours of interrogation, the man left the cell. He had gotten all the information he needed to report to his ONI superior.


[Edited on 12.30.2010 9:05 PM PST]

  • 12.30.2010 8:54 PM PDT

New Rayasher
Horght City
November 19, 2545
1630 Hours
Special Warfare Group Three
Galm Team

Rick looked at the weary group of marines infront of him. He chuckled under his breath and took a look at the rest of the squad moving in.

"Well you four sure took your time."

Gale glared at Rick, while Nate and Jill settled the nuclear weapon near a pile of rubble. Whispering for some marines to step aside.

"Shut it Spartan." Gale turned to glare at the marines. Some looked in awe at him, probably wondering what was under those dark black plates of body armor. "Who's in charge here?"

The marines all turned their gaze away from the Spartans and stared at a man sitting on top an ammo crate. A horribly burnt corpse laid next to it.

"Yea it's me, Sergeant Peter Hayes." Peter got off the crate and eased himself towards Gale. "I'll be damned son. You saved our lives back there, another minute and those Covenant wraiths would have burnt us to a crisp."

Gale nodded and looked up at the battered structure.

"Who else is here Sergeant?"

Peter eyed the Spartan and the black case. "Just my squad, Sergeant Barron guarding the east wing, and some civilians down in the basement."

"So it's just you two in charge?"

Peter frowned. "Well if you wanted something better, the Captain is by the ammo crate." Peter shifted his head to the burnt corpse. "But the Captain didn't have any sun tan lotion for the Covenant plasma fire."

Gale smiled under his visor. He checked the mission timer on his HUD. A frown soon devoured the smile.

"Funny, but we need to get moving. Sergeant send some of your men to the basement and guard the civilians." Gale signaled for his squad to get combat ready. Their break was over. "Sergeant Hayes, Im commandeering you and your men under ONI directive 23/45-67."

The marines nor the Sergeant objected to this. As soon as they heard ONI, come out of Gale's mouth, they knew no choice was to be given. Taking their gear and remaining equipment the marines followed the Spartans unknowingly to the Gravity lift.



New Rayasher
November 19, 2545
Gurand Town

Anthony felt the rain fall down on his dark red baseball cap. His yellow raincoat dripped water, as he jogged down a sidewalk in the small town. He cursed his luck, only hours earlier he was safe in his home, but now he had to go meet one of his informants in the insurrection.

As he neared the designated location, Anthony slowed down his pace, coming to stop infront of a hardware store. He opened the door and entered. Anthony nodded the man at the counter and took off his cap. The dimly lit store barely allowed him to see the man's face.

"So what's the problem Joey?"

Joey Florena, a somewhat chubby man smiled. He wasn't an ideal insurrectionist. Charming, smart, and a former member of New Rayasher's Colonial Militia, Joey seemed like an ideal recruit for the UNSC.

"Haha nothing much, but listen Anthony." Joey motioned for the man to come closer. "The thing is the job we did a while back?"

Anthony nodded. "Yeah we got paid mad money for that."

"Yeah, but the UNSC found them."

Anthony felt his heart skip a beat, while Joey continued.

"And you know what that means? Garrett and his boys branded us UNSC spies." Joey moved himself away from Anthony, who stood dumbfounded.

"We need to get off planet, before they find us. I got a freighter coming in two days from now. Hopefully we stay alive till then."

Anthony nodded. Hopefully they did.


[Edited on 01.30.2011 4:39 PM PST]

  • 01.01.2011 12:36 AM PDT

whoever is keepin up with this, the rest of chapter three might be up sometime next week

  • 01.04.2011 5:01 PM PDT

wow i like forgot about this

  • 01.10.2011 7:35 PM PDT

;

  • 01.30.2011 4:41 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] Galm, guardians of hell (Chapter 4 is up!!!)

Chapter 4 - Urban Tango

"Banshee on the left flank! Gunner take aim and fire now!"

Gale watched as the Banshee got torn to shreds by the Warthog's main gun.

"Good -blam!- soldier!"

The soldier nodded and continued to fire his weapon as the Warthog swerved down a narrow street. A pair of Pelican dropships screamed overhead, their turrets firing away at Covenant positions.

Gale checked his wrist mounted tac map, grinning at the hundreds of green unit signals. Multiple air assets, and dozens of ground forces at his command. The UNSC sure knew how to throw a party.

<<"Stacy i need a sit rep.">>

The Warthog now swerved down to an alleyway. The gunner's machine gun fire getting more intense, until they finally pulled up to the F.O.B.

<<"Stacy here, we got the nuke onroute to the gravity lift. Were about 6 mikes away, just get the area cleared out Gale. ">>

Gale now enetered the F.O.B, its inhabitants busy with activity. He made his way upstairs to the roof and zoomed in on the area near the gravity lift. Hundreds of infantry, tanks, and Banshees all fighting a mob of UNSC marines and Colonial soldiers alike.

<<"Copy that Stacy, hang tight.">>

As the battle before him raged on, Gale opened up his comms to the air assets.

<<"This is Battle group Galm to bomber squadron Dogma. Uhh we need an attack run on grid 34-65/89, got a mess load of covies to kill.">>

The erratic sound of battle soon grew louder as Gale waited for a response.

<<"This is Dogma to Galm, copy that. ETA is five minutes.">>










[Edited on 02.19.2011 2:24 PM PST]

  • 02.18.2011 9:18 PM PDT