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This topic has moved here: Subject: [Novel] The Conflict of Harvest-Chapter 4 complete
  • Subject: [Novel] The Conflict of Harvest-Chapter 4 complete
Subject: [Novel] The Conflict of Harvest-Chapter 4 complete

POMC S117 Owns owns

I don't know, probably not. Chapter 5 will be out in 30 mins.

I'll give you a summary of the chapters up to 8. It might change.



5.Malarek finds squad but without Rolek. They get to Utgard. Rolek arrives after destroying a small covvie base and rescuing Private Gregory.

6.Rolek meets Squad who are alive. They defend civs who are evacuating in ships.

7.They fight through the city and towards Tiara(A space Elevator)and liberate it from Brutes. An assault Carrier arrives.

8.It glasses the Elevator and it collapses. Someone dies in the squad.

[Edited on 10.16.2010 7:11 AM PDT]

  • 10.16.2010 7:10 AM PDT

lol Gregory is a little huge to need rescuing dont you think. (then again a huge guy like him would undoubtedly be found and captured if he were with out a weapon.)
and one last question is this before or after Gregory is suited with his spartan armor. (as I stated before the events in your story probably happen during the week or month he was given it)

You dont half to say but it be nice to mention in your story. (You dont half to thou, It just be cool)

  • 10.16.2010 7:28 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

I'll make it that it's when they get him to Utgard they give him the armour. Ok.

  • 10.16.2010 7:37 AM PDT

ok that sounds good

I have chosen Rolek for the story

is there any thing you would like me to do with him

Like make him a high rank low rank some super hero really seems Im using your character it be a little rude not to ask what you wish he do and not do.

[Edited on 10.16.2010 7:43 AM PDT]

  • 10.16.2010 7:40 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

Make him a Commander and send him out with a very, very big bang.

  • 10.16.2010 7:43 AM PDT

I wasn't expecting you to want him dead but hes your guy if you want him to blow up and kill 9000!!!! brutes then thats what you'll get

  • 10.16.2010 7:46 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

Ty. Also do you think you could keep his personality the same and have him unstoppable and give him a Jorge like death.

  • 10.16.2010 7:47 AM PDT

ok but it wont happen in the chapter he appears in it will probably in number 8 or 9 (If all gos as plan)

if you like I could give you what I think would be his last line

so you can check it and make sure its fits him

  • 10.16.2010 7:52 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

Ok go ahead and Chapter 5 will be ready in 5.

  • 10.16.2010 7:54 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

Chapter 5-Having armour doesn't make you a Spartan

Malarek put the Grunt down gently and sprinted out of the compound. He passed right through New Kennedy Street and into Bellahouston Avenue. The crashed Falcon was still there.

BOOM! Malrek turned around and saw the Scarab spray out blue and green plasma then explode in a large, purple cloud. He smiled.

So what do you think of it so far. Is it good.

[Edited on 10.16.2010 8:04 AM PDT]

  • 10.16.2010 7:59 AM PDT

Rolek:"God damb these brutes, They just blew off the left engine"
Gregory:"Hurry Rolek, we gota get to the BlueDwarf while there's time to escape be fore the ship blows"
Rolek:"NO"
Gregory:"But"
Rolek:"I said no ok. Im going to ram this ship into the Brute fleet. When we met was my favorite time in this hell we call war. Now its time I went out like I sould of."
Gregory paused but knew his old friend was right. He left the command center in sadness knowing full well what his friend ment. Once he got to the hanger I saw his face. Once he got on we flew out of the hanger.

First silence

Then the radio came on and the Giant Frigate started to move.
Rolek:"Jake keep Gregory out of trouble for me"

Rolek:"DIE YOU SONS OF BITC...."
The ship had crashed into the Brutes command ship killing hundreds of Brutes. Maybe even thousands. But the frigate was still moving and hit another.

Gregory:"Just like Rolek to use his dumb luck to live throw a crash like that"

The second however destroyed both ships.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The explosion was so large it destroyed the 3rd ship in are way and even spun us around a little.

We left with a heavy heart knowing a good Friend was lost.

and so far your story seems to be starting epically


[Edited on 10.16.2010 8:35 AM PDT]

  • 10.16.2010 8:18 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

Thanks. You send him out with a pretty big bang.

  • 10.16.2010 8:22 AM PDT


Posted by: POMC S117 Owns
Thanks. You send him out with a pretty big bang.


I aim to please :P

so did I get his personality right

  • 10.16.2010 8:24 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

You got it right on but you could mabye make him not swear.

  • 10.16.2010 8:27 AM PDT

fine ill change it no worry's

  • 10.16.2010 8:28 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

No don't its fine just do it. He will have changed over the years. What I'm more intrested in is how do they meet him.

  • 10.16.2010 8:33 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

The rest of the chapter will be out tommorow. Chow.

  • 10.16.2010 8:34 AM PDT

seya

my chapter sould be out fully by to day

  • 10.16.2010 8:36 AM PDT
Subject: The Conflict of Harvest

Posted by: AssaultCommand
Steamitor? lol.
Steaditor? maybe.

I'll try for the first few chapters you release.


There can only be one Steamitor/ Steaditor, and that is the Steadman.

Reading now, I will post feedback tomorrow.

  • 10.16.2010 3:48 PM PDT


Posted by: steadman
Posted by: AssaultCommand
Steamitor? lol.
Steaditor? maybe.

I'll try for the first few chapters you release.


There can only be one Steamitor/ Steaditor, and that is the Steadman.

Reading now, I will post feedback tomorrow.

tomorrow?

But his story only takes a simple 10 minutes to read


oh wait your one of those reviewer guys who wright pages of pages of 1 review of a story

Iv always wondered thou do you guys get payed for it

Because I think it be a fun job.

Also if you aren't you seem to be.

  • 10.16.2010 4:04 PM PDT

Posted by: Axe11154

Posted by: steadman
Posted by: AssaultCommand
Steamitor? lol.
Steaditor? maybe.

I'll try for the first few chapters you release.


There can only be one Steamitor/ Steaditor, and that is the Steadman.

Reading now, I will post feedback tomorrow.

tomorrow?

But his story only takes a simple 10 minutes to read


oh wait your one of those reviewer guys who wright pages of pages of 1 review of a story

Iv always wondered thou do you guys get payed for it

Because I think it be a fun job.

Also if you aren't you seem to be.


I am unpaid and unemployed, and yes, I have noticed about three things in the first sentence which could be changed for more dramatic emphasis. Really, I do not think that I could condense all the changes into one bungie.net post, with justification for all the changes.

If the writer wants my help, then he can PM me and ask for it, at which time I will start the inevitable message fight.

  • 10.16.2010 4:21 PM PDT


Posted by: steadman
Posted by: Axe11154

Posted by: steadman
Posted by: AssaultCommand
Steamitor? lol.
Steaditor? maybe.

I'll try for the first few chapters you release.


There can only be one Steamitor/ Steaditor, and that is the Steadman.

Reading now, I will post feedback tomorrow.

tomorrow?

But his story only takes a simple 10 minutes to read


oh wait your one of those reviewer guys who wright pages of pages of 1 review of a story

Iv always wondered thou do you guys get payed for it

Because I think it be a fun job.

Also if you aren't you seem to be.


I am unpaid and unemployed, and yes, I have noticed about three things in the first sentence which could be changed for more dramatic emphasis. Really, I do not think that I could condense all the changes into one bungie.net post, with justification for all the changes.

If the writer wants my help, then he can PM me and ask for it, at which time I will start the inevitable message fight.

O_O

  • 10.16.2010 4:34 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel] The Conflict of Harvest-Chapter 4 complete

I cant wait till your chapter 5 is done Its good going great
but its a little boring waiting


Like a child waiting for the candy store to open, I am to exited to wait.

[Edited on 10.18.2010 2:40 PM PDT]

  • 10.17.2010 8:10 AM PDT

POMC S117 Owns owns

Sorry that Chapter 5 hasn't been posted yet but my Windows Live ID wasn't working so it'll be out tommorrow.

P.S Don't put automatic sign-in on

  • 10.22.2010 11:04 AM PDT

understood


that explains a lot

  • 10.22.2010 1:21 PM PDT