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Subject: Did the UNSC hire commanders out of elementary school?

Look back at the History of Halo. Notice that most of the commanders of the UNSC were retarded, couldn't do their jobs, lazy, and didn't use any of their advantages.

Some notable Commanders:

Admiral Harper-

Thought charging a Covenant fleet he outnumbered 20 to 1 was a good idea, when he could of just held back and let the Orbital Defense guns take out the 15 ships in less than 7 seconds.

Instead, he blindly charged the Covenant ships in a scattered formation of Frigates and Cruisers which got in the way of the ODP's.

The Reach UNSC Air Control-

Responsible for the loss of the UNSC Grafton, UNSC Saratoga, a bunch of Longswords, and whatever else the Covenant Supercarrier destroyed. They could of just did a thermal scan of the area, and bluntly discover the Covenant Supercarrier cloaked, and surprised it, but instead, the just told two Frigates and a bunch of longswords to attack a enemy force that they had no intel on. ( Didn't they wonder how the Covenant got their in the first place ?)

The Orbital Command on Reach-

How did a giant 27 kilometer ship get past them in the first place? Even if it managed to be cloaked while moving, ( Which it wasn't when Noble Six destroyed it ), they could of just had a thermal scan, fired the Orbital MAC's, and destroyed it with no questions asked.

But instead, they lost another Frigate, a Spartan, and many Sabres, only to have the rest of the Covenant fleet jump in.

Admiral Whitcomb-

You dumbass. You could of used one of your Nova bombs in orbit around Reach. You could of hid it in the minefield that destroyed 1/3 of the Covenant fleet. You could of had a Orbital gun fire it out of its barrel. You could of saved 300 million people. But instead, you left the Nova Bombs to be picked up, studied, and destroy 300 Elite ships that may of helped you after the Civil war.

Veronica Dare-

How did you get your job for ONI? Maybe you could of told the rest of your squad, or even all the ODST's your plan, and then the Rookie wouldn't of wasted six hours finding his squad.

The Captain of the UNSC Savannah-

Why did you partake in Operation Uppercut? You could of just gave your slipspace drive, then just stayed at Anchor 9, seeing as you didn't engage the Corvette in any way, and then you let it hit you with plasma torpedo's. You could of just maneuvered above or below the Corvette, but instead, you flew parallel, and didn't break off from the Corvette.

Misirah Armory-

You guys could of just kept your "Anti-every thing" weapon known as the M6D magnum, but instead you built weaker versions of it. Because of you, Miranda Keyes, Noble Six, and anyone else who used their pistol as a last resort and died.

NEW- Captain of the UNSC Grafton-
Why did you fly at point blank range to destroy the Spire? You could of just blasted it a mile away. Or just even destroyed it with its shields up, seeing as you were using your 50mm defense guns on it before it went down. I don't see why you had to hover 50 feet off the ground to hit a target the size of a skyscraper.

NEW- Captain of the UNSC Saratoga( Ship that flies in with the Grafton. )-
Why didn't you do anything? You didn't use any of your weapons on the enemy ground forces like the Grafton ( Who was only using half its weapons ) or assist in destroying the Spire? You pretty much wasted fuel and ammunition on nothing.
I'll list more soon.

[Edited on 11.14.2010 11:30 AM PST]

  • 11.07.2010 9:43 AM PDT

On hiding dead bodies:
Posted by: Psuedo
Posted by: teh Chaz
Inside another dead body. It's the last place they'll look
A corpse within a corpse.
CORPSEPTION.
Win.

Falcon Pilots twice:
On ONI SWORD Base, they do not elect to use their 20mm chin guns to thin out the Covenant forces in the courtyard, instead deciding to send two SPARTANS.
On Winter Contingency, they fail to do the same thing again, instead now sending three SPARTANS to back up two others.

Misriah Armouries again, thrice:
Giving the Scorpion tank such a low, wide footprint, which gives it a massive dead zone. To compound this, very few models of the M808 were equipped with co-axial guns.
Hornet. 'Nuff said.
Numerous .50cal and .57cal weapons, none of which are capable of the damage their stupidly high calibre weaponry would appear capable of.

[Edited on 11.07.2010 9:58 AM PST]

  • 11.07.2010 9:58 AM PDT

GROSSMAN: Do you think of the Culture as a utopia? Would you live in it, if you could?

BANKS: Good grief yes, to both! What's not to like? ...Well, unless you're actually a fascist or a power junkie or sincerely believe that money rather than happiness is what really matters in life. And even people with those bizarre beliefs are catered for in the Culture, albeit in extreme-immersion VR environments.

KOTOR

Don't forget the two Pelican Pilots who get wasted by a Banshee, despite one Pelican being able to blow up two Phantoms? And whoever designed the later model MA5Cs? Where did the extra ammo go, that proved invaluable in long engagements.

And Carter should have survived, I'm sure Dot could have flown that Pelican into the Scarab, thus saving Carter. (Deja does it in TFoR iirc.)

Also, who designed the troop hog? It's really really unsafe, more so than the ones in use in Afghanistan today. It doesn't provide any protection, and any competent Jackal could kill all of them with little effort. Hell, who designed the Warthog? It's bouncy, has poor handling, and provides nothing in the way of protection or Armour.

The UNSC need better designers.

  • 11.07.2010 10:39 AM PDT

And so, Achronos lifted the banhammer high above his head, exclaming "You shall not sully these forums again!" And with one, deft blow, he brought the banhammer down upon the offender, and slew him.

Bah, what's the point? You're only goingt to troll, flame or E-raip me.

Maybe it's lack of experience in full scale engagements?

  • 11.07.2010 10:46 AM PDT

Posted by: The Seraphim
Admiral Harper-

Thought charging a Covenant fleet he outnumbered 20 to 1 was a good idea, when he could of just held back and let the Orbital Defense guns take out the 15 ships in less than 7 seconds.

Instead, he blindly charged the Covenant ships in a scattered formation of Frigates and Cruisers which got in the way of the ODP's.
Did you even play Halo 2? Harper specifically moved into a defensive position after being told to do so by Hood. The Covenant were outside the MAC range. The Covenant then proceeded to destroy the fields of fire from two stations, allowing their fleet to charge. Harper's fleet destroyed the 13 cruisers and knocked out one carrier's shield during the battle that ensued.

And whoever designed the later model MA5Cs? Where did the extra ammo go, that proved invaluable in long engagementsJamming issues.

[Edited on 11.07.2010 12:44 PM PST]

  • 11.07.2010 12:43 PM PDT

I really do miss my 60 round clips. 36-32 just doesn't do it for me.

{edit} You'd think that in 2552, jamming would not be an issue. I mean we are talking like 500 years of refinement for the AR concept.

[Edited on 11.07.2010 12:57 PM PST]

  • 11.07.2010 12:56 PM PDT
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I heard someone say once (paraphrasing here) "Multiflag on Blood Gulch with your friends is what makes Halo, Halo." I GUARANTEE that more people agree with that sentiment than "Getting a 50 in MLG is what makes Halo, Halo." - Oboewan42
Meta | NHL | Kotor


Posted by: The Seraphim
Admiral Whitcomb-

You dumbass. You could of used one of your Nova bombs in orbit around Reach. You could of hid it in the minefield that destroyed 1/3 of the Covenant fleet. You could of had a Orbital gun fire it out of its barrel. You could of saved 300 million people. But instead, you left the Nova Bombs to be picked up, studied, and destroy 300 Elite ships that may of helped you after the Civil war.


Correct me if I'm wrong, but the nova bomb was a prototype. And did you seriously suggest using one in orbit around Reach? The first destroyed a -blam!- planet!

  • 11.07.2010 7:01 PM PDT

If you think Reach is bad... chances are, you're bad at it.

LOL. That's actually pretty funny.

  • 11.07.2010 7:05 PM PDT

Shape Up or Ship Out*

For the Savannah it was a good but faulty plan. They used the Savannah as a distraction so the sabers could land and covertly infiltrate the covenant cruiser. the fault is that once the spartans entered the savannah itshould have peeled off so it could you SURVIVE. but o well probably added to the helplessness of humans against the covenant

[Edited on 11.07.2010 9:07 PM PST]

  • 11.07.2010 9:07 PM PDT

It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you might be swept off to.


Posted by: The Seraphim
Admiral Whitcomb-

You dumbass. You could of used one of your Nova bombs in orbit around Reach. You could of hid it in the minefield that destroyed 1/3 of the Covenant fleet. You could of had a Orbital gun fire it out of its barrel. You could of saved 300 million people. But instead, you left the Nova Bombs to be picked up, studied, and destroy 300 Elite ships that may of helped you after the Civil war.

Misirah Armory-

You guys could of just kept your "Anti-every thing" weapon known as the M6D magnum, but instead you built weaker versions of it. Because of you, Miranda Keyes, Noble Six, and anyone else who used their pistol as a last resort and died.

I'll list more soon.


-Nova bomb = everyone loses (it would have destroyed the entire planet)

And at the time the elites were still a part of the covenant. Whitcomb wouldn't have known that the humans and elites would join sides.

-game balancing =\= balancing

  • 11.07.2010 10:18 PM PDT

Mreh.

Posted by: Orphius_Rex
Don't forget the two Pelican Pilots who get wasted by a Banshee, despite one Pelican being able to blow up two Phantoms? And whoever designed the later model MA5Cs? Where did the extra ammo go, that proved invaluable in long engagements.

And Carter should have survived, I'm sure Dot could have flown that Pelican into the Scarab, thus saving Carter. (Deja does it in TFoR iirc.)

Also, who designed the troop hog? It's really really unsafe, more so than the ones in use in Afghanistan today. It doesn't provide any protection, and any competent Jackal could kill all of them with little effort. Hell, who designed the Warthog? It's bouncy, has poor handling, and provides nothing in the way of protection or Armour.

The UNSC need better designers.


the warthog was probably designed for dune bashing.

  • 11.07.2010 10:29 PM PDT

Am I supposed to write something funny here?

About the Warthog. It's light reconnaissance vehicle/anti-air platform.

  • 11.08.2010 5:26 AM PDT

About me: I am a vicious wolf of a man.

But really am sweet at heart. =)

ANY Captain of a UNSC Frigate or Destroyer


Protip: Going STRAIGHT towards a fleet you are outnumbered by when you have no weapons that can destroy it in one volley when they can vaporize you in ONE shot...is a BAD idea!

Why is it that Jacob Keyes is the ONLY commander with half a brain?


UNSC/ONI Testing and Logistics:
Hey, holy crap! Frigates and Destroyers don't have enough punch to penitrate a Covenant ship's shields! Lets keep building the EXACT SAME CLASSES OF SHIPS and don't even UPGRADE THEM.


Also with that whole thing about Admiral Harper.


Super MAC guns shoot at 7% the speed of light.

So....why is it the ships are out of range when a Super MAC could shoot across the entire solar system in seconds?



[Edited on 11.08.2010 5:44 AM PST]

  • 11.08.2010 5:42 AM PDT

Am I supposed to write something funny here?


Posted by: Gottalovec4
ANY Captain of a UNSC Frigate or Destroyer


Protip: Going STRAIGHT towards a fleet you are outnumbered by when you have no weapons that can destroy it in one volley when they can vaporize you in ONE shot...is a BAD idea!

Why is it that Jacob Keyes is the ONLY commander with half a brain?


UNSC/ONI Testing and Logistics:
Hey, holy crap! Frigates and Destroyers don't have enough punch to penitrate a Covenant ship's shields! Lets keep building the EXACT SAME CLASSES OF SHIPS and don't even UPGRADE THEM.


Also with that whole thing about Admiral Harper.


Super MAC guns shoot at 7% the speed of light.

So....why is it the ships are out of range when a Super MAC could shoot across the entire solar system in seconds?


At the speed of light, it takes 8 minutes to get here from sun.

  • 11.08.2010 5:54 AM PDT

Miranda Keyes' section needs to max out at least two posts.

  • 11.08.2010 6:04 AM PDT
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u had me convinced at reach UNSC air control my friend.
Some of them are like a kid on a wednesday, in the fridge,they know that they can bring you a soda, and it's right there, but they'll never see it till u get up after a hard day's work just to point it out. Kids, suck at halo and they're a nuisence. Well, some anyway, they rest are awesome or a kid at heart.

  • 11.08.2010 6:10 AM PDT

On hiding dead bodies:
Posted by: Psuedo
Posted by: teh Chaz
Inside another dead body. It's the last place they'll look
A corpse within a corpse.
CORPSEPTION.
Win.

Posted by: Gamer Whale

Posted by: Gottalovec4
ANY Captain of a UNSC Frigate or Destroyer


Protip: Going STRAIGHT towards a fleet you are outnumbered by when you have no weapons that can destroy it in one volley when they can vaporize you in ONE shot...is a BAD idea!

Why is it that Jacob Keyes is the ONLY commander with half a brain?


UNSC/ONI Testing and Logistics:
Hey, holy crap! Frigates and Destroyers don't have enough punch to penitrate a Covenant ship's shields! Lets keep building the EXACT SAME CLASSES OF SHIPS and don't even UPGRADE THEM.


Also with that whole thing about Admiral Harper.


Super MAC guns shoot at 7% the speed of light.

So....why is it the ships are out of range when a Super MAC could shoot across the entire solar system in seconds?


At the speed of light, it takes 8 minutes to get here from sun.
In space, a MAC and SMAC (or anything else, for that matter) technically has no maximum range. However, since they are not guided projectiles, the 'maximum range' is a range that is deemed to be too close for a ship to take evasive manoeuvres out of the line of fire.
I'd say 3-5 seconds was a sensible range for an 'effective maximum'.

  • 11.08.2010 10:06 AM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Halo needs the trooper from Mass Effect to coordinate strategies.

"Every time you fire one of these, you are ruining someone's day!"

  • 11.08.2010 10:36 AM PDT

Posted by:ScubaToaster
Posted by: HipiO7
This man, this man right here put it so eloquently that I actually cancelled my own 2000+ word long post.
/slow clap for respect


:)
The person who said participating is important, not winning, obviously never won anything.

Posted by: ajw34307
Halo needs the trooper from Mass Effect to coordinate strategies.

"Every time you fire one of these, you are ruining someone's day!"


''That is why we dont EYE-BALL-IT!''

  • 11.08.2010 11:05 AM PDT

Posted by:ScubaToaster
Posted by: HipiO7
This man, this man right here put it so eloquently that I actually cancelled my own 2000+ word long post.
/slow clap for respect


:)
The person who said participating is important, not winning, obviously never won anything.

As I recall, Earth's defense Fleet actually outnumbered the Covenant Fleet at the First Battle for Earth, and he did not engage the Fleet, he was ordered to pull back and stay with the Orbital Defenses, which is what he did.

And wouldint you think the UNSC would have done a thermal scan? I'm almost 100% they did and confused the thermal emissions with the huge Covenant army that was hiding there, and not with a cloaked Super Carrier which I'm sure the UNSC has never seen.

Admiral Whitcomb, had no almost no way to get those bombs up in orbit in time. The battle lasted so little and the surface was overrun with Covenant Forces which made it almost impossible to get it up in orbit. Remember, the NOVA BOMB was still a prototype being worked on, so it's normal it wasent in space yet.

Veronica Dare was ordered not to tell her ODST Squad her real mission by a UNSC Admiral. She had no idea the Super Carrier would jumping in atmosphere , since there were no records of Covenant doing so.

Now the Savannah, did serve its own purpose by serving as a distraction to the Corvette while Noble Six's and Noble Five's team boarded the Corvette, but once both teams had done so, it could have broken off and most likely survived.

  • 11.08.2010 11:06 AM PDT

"Find where the liar hides, so that I may place my boot between his gums!" - Rtas 'Vadum

Posted by: The Seraphim
But instead, you left the Nova Bombs to be picked up, studied, and destroy 300 Elite ships that may of helped you after the Civil war.

It was probably the best result. Admiral Xytan was very influential, and still had an aversion towards Humans. It is entirely possible that he would have destroyed Earth and Humanity after dealing with the Covenant Loyalist. He was a bit of a megalomaniac.

The NOVA wiped out 60% of the Sangheilis military might instantly and it was that which forced them to seek out new allies. They did not ally with Humanity out of sympathy or atonement, but rather as a means to save their own skins. Had they not lost so many resources at Joyous Exultation, I doubt they would have sought an alliance. They had no reason to believe that Humanity was in fact the polar opposite of everything the Prophets had been preaching, just that the Great Journey was a lie.

It all boils down to whether the Arbiter could persuade him, which I doubt. After all, who do you think the masses of Sangheili would believe: A disgraced Fleetmaster who allowed Halo to be destroyed, or an exalted Imperial Admiral who apparently has never lost a battle and was actually exiled by the Prophets for being so popular?

  • 11.08.2010 11:29 AM PDT


Posted by: Gottalovec4
ANY Captain of a UNSC Frigate or Destroyer


Protip: Going STRAIGHT towards a fleet you are outnumbered by when you have no weapons that can destroy it in one volley when they can vaporize you in ONE shot...is a BAD idea!

Why is it that Jacob Keyes is the ONLY commander with half a brain?
Keyes' naval accomplishments include going straight towards a fleet that outnumbered him without the weapons to destroy it in one volley, going straight towards an enemy ship that he could destroy in one volley thanks to owning the best ship ever made, and going straight towards a ship that he wasn't sure he could destroy in one volley.


UNSC/ONI Testing and Logistics:
Hey, holy crap! Frigates and Destroyers don't have enough punch to penitrate a Covenant ship's shields! Lets keep building the EXACT SAME CLASSES OF SHIPS and don't even UPGRADE THEM.
They couldn't destroy them alone, but they could destroy them in groups. It's not about the ships, it's about the MAC guns, and upgrading those isn't easy. It's more convenient to not have the three MACs on one boat.


Also with that whole thing about Admiral Harper.


Super MAC guns shoot at 7% the speed of light.

So....why is it the ships are out of range when a Super MAC could shoot across the entire solar system in seconds?
Jupiter, for example, is 5 AUs away from the sun, which measures to 40 light-minutes, which is 560 minutes at 0.07c.

At 0.07c, the rounds travel just 21000km in a second, making it easy for ships at 100000km range to dodge them.

  • 11.08.2010 11:57 AM PDT

Am I supposed to write something funny here?


Posted by: Mutoid Log

Posted by: Gottalovec4
ANY Captain of a UNSC Frigate or Destroyer


Protip: Going STRAIGHT towards a fleet you are outnumbered by when you have no weapons that can destroy it in one volley when they can vaporize you in ONE shot...is a BAD idea!

Why is it that Jacob Keyes is the ONLY commander with half a brain?
Keyes' naval accomplishments include going straight towards a fleet that outnumbered him without the weapons to destroy it in one volley, going straight towards an enemy ship that he could destroy in one volley thanks to owning the best ship ever made, and going straight towards a ship that he wasn't sure he could destroy in one volley.


UNSC/ONI Testing and Logistics:
Hey, holy crap! Frigates and Destroyers don't have enough punch to penitrate a Covenant ship's shields! Lets keep building the EXACT SAME CLASSES OF SHIPS and don't even UPGRADE THEM.
They couldn't destroy them alone, but they could destroy them in groups. It's not about the ships, it's about the MAC guns, and upgrading those isn't easy. It's more convenient to not have the three MACs on one boat.


Also with that whole thing about Admiral Harper.


Super MAC guns shoot at 7% the speed of light.

So....why is it the ships are out of range when a Super MAC could shoot across the entire solar system in seconds?
Jupiter, for example, is 5 AUs away from the sun, which measures to 40 light-minutes, which is 560 minutes at 0.07c.

At 0.07c, the rounds travel just 21000km in a second, making it easy for ships at 100000km range to dodge them.

Also, what is the distance when you have to start thinking "That ship was actually there few seconds ago, now it's really over there." And you couldn't know if it has already changed course.

  • 11.08.2010 12:05 PM PDT

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