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  • Subject: [story] Operation Sandbag
Subject: [story] Operation Sandbag

They call me The Raptor due to my extreme interest in dinosaurs specifically velociraptor.

Prologue

In the years after the Covenant-Human war the Sangheili, who are also known as Elites, and the UNSC along with Unggoy, or Grunts, and Mgalekgolo, or Hunters, who were loyal to the Sangheili during the Great Schism patrol the Milky Way in order to preserve peace. New Members have joined this alliance after the end of the Covenant-Human war. These include Jackal and Skirmisher, Other wise called Kig-Yar, peace keepers, Very civilized Jiralhanae, also called Brutes, San 'Shyuum, or Prophet, stoics who were not the San 'Shyuum responsible for the Covenant-Human war, Yanme'e, Known to Humans as Drones or Buggers, colonies dedicated to peace, and Huragok, Known to Humans as Engineers, who were built by the peaceful forerunner and are excellent builders. Fleets of ships within the joint UNSC-Neo Covenant task Force are currently attempting to keep the Flood on the remaining Halo rings while attempting to locate those who have gone missing but remain in cryo sleep. Among those recovered are the crew of the Spirit of Fire, including the three spartans on board, and the Spartan Gray Team.
Chapter One: The Value of Trust

In the boxing ring of the UNSC Raptor's combat room three spartans, one Sangheili zealot, one Jiralhanae Minor, and one Unggoy Specs Ops face off in hand to hand combat with no weapons while many Humans and other Neo-Covenant species look on.

"Why did the admiral of this fleet have an Unggoy train with us? wonders the Sangheili Zealot as the spartans quickly knock the Unggoy out of the ring and unconcious, "It would have made more sense for a Mglekgolo to have been included in this training match as Unggoy are not really the best of this alliance." The Sangheili Zealot ducks as a big furry fist flies inches away from hitting his face. "Well maybe I should join in on this free for all training match and show those four how to fight hand to hand" thinks the Sangheili Zealot as the Jiralhanae Minor prepares to toss one spartan out of the ring, "I should give the spartans some back up and then knock them out of the ring myself." The Sangheili Zealot suddenly flips the brute and the spartan out of the ring with the help of the other two spartans.

notes: I will continue chapter one either later or tomorrow, and please do not flame me on how my fan fic includes an alliance between Humans and the known Covenant species, both who were and were not allies with Humans at some point.

[Edited on 11.30.2010 3:57 PM PST]

  • 11.30.2010 3:56 PM PDT

Don't write a story in present tense... ever.

;)

One of my pet hates. Also give your characters names, don't just refer to them as "Sangheili" or "Jiralhanae."

  • 11.30.2010 4:01 PM PDT

They call me The Raptor due to my extreme interest in dinosaurs specifically velociraptor.


Posted by: Wolverfrog
Don't write a story in present tense... ever.

;)

One of my pet hates. Also give your characters names, don't just refer to them as "Sangheili" or "Jiralhanae."


One thing, The prologue was an explaination, and the story will be through the Zealot's eyes. One last thing, their names will be revealed after the training match is over, as will the name of the fleet admiral. Oh and the Grunt will remain unnamed since it was just a random Grunt who was in a training match that it was outmatched in.

I decided you are right and that I should dump this story for a better one that somewhat uses the same concept but involves a squad of snipers and a new species as an enemy.

[Edited on 12.01.2010 8:19 AM PST]

  • 11.30.2010 4:12 PM PDT