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  • Subject: [Novel--In Progress]Jun: The story of Noble 3 after the Fall of Reach.
Subject: [Novel--In Progress]Jun: The story of Noble 3 after the Fall of Reach.

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

***Part One...
_Chapter One. "Time".

So much death. So little hope. Reach had fallen.

Weeks had passed since the day Noble 3 left the planet Reach. Or was it months? Jun couldn't tell; he wasn't worried about time. Time meant nothing to him anymore.

There was a time when he thought he had it all figured out. There was a time when he fought bravely alongside his fellow Spartans... when he was a part of Noble team.

Now there was nothing left of any of that. Just a faint memory. He remembered the voices of all of the members of Noble. He could even put together their faces in his head. Faces that were slowly fading out of memory.

Now he was here; the mega-city of New Mombassa. He was told that it would only be a matter of time before the Covenant showed up. Only a matter of time before Earth became Reach... all over again.

Jun promised himself that he would not let that happen.

He had been assigned to a skilled team of snipers: Recon team. Jun was second-in-command. The first was a fellow Spartan; his name was Garret. Commander Garret Grey. At least Jun would be fighting alongside another Spartan. He had almost forgot what that felt like.

Each member was assigned a rooftop. Each rooftop was within a few blocks of each other. There were twelve total. Twelve. Just twelve. Jun was thinking just how under-prepared Earth was.

It was close to around 2300 hours, almost midnight; Jun didn't know for sure as he didn't care anymore. He layed down and looked up at the stars, and fell asleep upon the lonely rooftop.

_Chapter Two. "The Invasion".

Jun saw visions in his dreams. Visions that never went away, they always seemed to creep back in his mind, to torment him with the memory of defeat.

Visions of the beautiful planet he once called home. Visions of helpless civilians running scared, in panic and in fear. Visions of his fellow Spartans, men and women who would die for humanity. Men and women who did die for humanity.

He heard sounds of battle. Sounds he heard in Reach, of gunfire and bloodcurddling cries of death. Sounds of a million voices, silenced in an instant.

And then he awoke. He smelled the breath of fresh air and felt the morning breeze upon his unmasked face. Dawn had arrived, and Jun knew the covenant would arrive at Earth today. In the darkest corner of his heart, he knew it would happen.

Noble 3 placed his helmet upon his head, and he sat up and watched the skies, vigilant.

He listened in to the COM channels, tuned in to the battle stations orbiting Earth. There was a conversation between the Cairo and another station; the other station was breaking up on Jun's end. A short ripple, static, and the signal was lost.

"Dammit, lost 'em," said the Cairo, "I'll try and link back up with them." Jun saw a flash of light in the sky. "Oh, -blam!-," Cairo said,"oh no, oh God. Look! There goes another one!" Another flash of light was spotted in the sky. "No, no, no. This can't be happening. Not here. Not on Earth." Jun knew what was going on; it was the Covenant.

He tuned in to a different channel, and heard Lord Hood's voice. "Master Chief," he said, "disarm that bomb." So, the Master Chief was on the Cairo. Apparently, so was a bomb. Which that meant the Covenant were boarding the stations.

Jun waited a while longer. Close to an hour passed. He heard Master Chief's voice on the COM. "Sir, permission to leave the station."

Hood answered, "For what reason?"

"Giving the Covenant back their bomb."

"Permission granted."

Jun forced a slight smile.

Just then, a Covenant carrier entered the skyline. It was floating above the city, ominous, almost blocking the sunlight.

Jun quickly switched to the Recon COM channel. Corporal Jennings spoke. "Oh, my God," he said, "do you guys see that? Their actually here! Oh, my God!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Corporal," said Commander Grey. "This is what we're here for; to make sure those bastards die."

"They're dropping out of pods!" said Jennings. And just as the corporal said this, Jun saw drop pods falling through the clouds.

"Jun," Said Grey, "Get down on the streets asap. Jennings, link up with him."

"Yes sir," said Jun and Jennings.

"I want you two to get over here to the Orbital elevator."

"What are we going to do when we get there, Sir?" asked Jun.

"We're going to board that Carrier."

_Chapter Three. "Unto the Breach".

Jun was on his way down an elevator. The elevator had a window that allowed him to look out at the city. He saw the carrier overhead, Phantoms landing in the distance, and even more pods continued to drop.

He heard Jennings' voice on the COM. "Jun, this is Alex," Jennings said, "watch those pods; I've been seeing some crashing through windows."

"Thanks for the warning, Alex," Jun said, "But I don't think--" as he said this, a pod hurled toward him and crashed through the elevator window. "Holy Christ!"

An Elite Ultra jumped out and swung at Jun with his sword. The Spartan dodged and took out his Sub Machine Gun. Before he could fire, the Elite kicked and knocked the gun out of Jun's hands. The Elite thrusted at Jun, but the the Spartan dodged once again. While the Elite was recovering from recoil, Jun tackled him and sent his knife into the throat of the beast.

"Jun?" Alex said over the COM. "You there?"

"Yeah," Jun answered as he took his knife out of the Elite, "I'm here. Barely, though."

"What happened?"

"Uh... a little altercation, that's all."

The elevator arrived at the ground floor, and Jun got out. He was in the hotel lobby, full of civilians that were not prepared for the Covenant.

"Are you one of those Spartans?" One of the Civilians asked.

Others looked at him with puzzled faces. Some of them were just plain awe-struck. Children equipped cameras and took pictures.

As Jun exited through the doors, a Phantom landed in the streets dropping troops. Jun switched to his Battle Rifle.

Four grunts, four jackels, and an Elite jumped out as the phantom took off. Jun fired the Battle rifle once, and three grunts fell, each with one bullet through the skull. He rolled behind a car as the jackels fired at him. The Spartan tossed a grenade over the tops of the jackels' heads. It landed right behind them and exploded, killing all four and the grunt with them.

Jun emerged from behind the car when the Elite fired at him; He almost forgotten about the Elite. Jun was about to fire at the him, when the beast fell. Alex was standing behind the bastard with a knife in his hands.

"It's about time," said Jun.

"What can I say?" Said Alex. "I ran into traffic."

***Part Two comming soon.

[Edited on 12.24.2010 6:35 PM PST]

  • 12.23.2010 8:06 AM PDT
Subject: Jun: The story of Noble 3 after the Fall of Reach.

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

This story will be written in a number of different parts, on this thread. Each part will be 3 chapters long, so save any comments until this part is finished. I'll continue more of the story on a later date.

  • 12.23.2010 9:48 AM PDT
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We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other.

You, have something they call "talent".

  • 12.23.2010 10:48 AM PDT

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

Posted by: I Em I Raptor
You, have something they call "talent".


Thanks! You really don't know how it makes me feel when people give me positive feedback.

Considering it's becoming a writer, or something boring. Like a lawyer, yuck.

... No offense if you're a lawyer.

  • 12.23.2010 12:39 PM PDT
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We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other.


Posted by: The Case Man
Posted by: I Em I Raptor
You, have something they call "talent".


Thanks! You really don't know how it makes me feel when people give me positive feedback.

Considering it's becoming a writer, or something boring. Like a lawyer, yuck.

... No offense if you're a lawyer.






Im not a lawyer, its cool. Your welcome, cant wait for part 2!

  • 12.23.2010 1:07 PM PDT

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

idk might be awhile from now. I'm going to my dad's house on xmas day (he lives down in Florida) so it might not be till after new years.

[edit]
There's a planning process I go through, so it's not like I can just up and start writing it.

And I'm not even sure how long the entire thing will be.

[Edited on 12.23.2010 2:10 PM PST]

  • 12.23.2010 2:02 PM PDT
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We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other.

Well good luck and have a nice holiday season.

  • 12.23.2010 5:05 PM PDT

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

Thanks and you too

  • 12.23.2010 8:02 PM PDT


Posted by: The Case Man
Jun waited a while longer. Close to an hour passed. He heard Master Chief's voice on the COM. "Sir, permission to leave the station."

Hood answered, "For what reason?"

"Giving the Covenant back their bomb."

"Permission granted."

Jun forced a slight smile.

Omg, i loved that part. And thread saved because Jun was my favourite spartan and i am interested in what you think up in this story.

[Edited on 12.24.2010 12:06 AM PST]

  • 12.24.2010 12:05 AM PDT

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

Posted by: fire dragon59

Posted by: The Case Man
Jun waited a while longer. Close to an hour passed. He heard Master Chief's voice on the COM. "Sir, permission to leave the station."

Hood answered, "For what reason?"

"Giving the Covenant back their bomb."

"Permission granted."

Jun forced a slight smile.

Omg, i loved that part. And thread saved because Jun was my favourite spartan and i am interested in what you think up in this story.


I loved that part too. It's such a bad@$$ line that chief says.

  • 12.24.2010 6:53 AM PDT

-Gr33n Knight

My stories:

Streams of Fire

Jiralhanae

That was well written. Aside from a couple grammar mistakes, it was very solid. I would suggest lengthening the chapters a bit, though. Chapter one in particular was very short, and I want more!

You should probably format the title to match the other fan-fictions(with [Story], or [Novel] followed by the title, and how far you have gotten in it), just so everyone will recognize this as a fanfic.

I liked the brief cameo of the Chief. I'm putting a few cameos in my fic as well, probably even Jun. It's also good that you plan it out before writing. I kind of just have a general idea of what's going to happen in the chapter, and just start writing, which usually leads to at least two rewrites per chapter...

As for grammar and spelling errors, I think I picked them out for you:

...channels, tunned in to the...He tunned in to a different channel...should be tuned, not tunned.
Jun emerged from behind the car when the Elite fired at him; He almost forgot about the Elite. Jun was about to fire at the him, when the beast fell.This one should be:

Jun emerged from behind the car when the Elite fired at him. He had almost forgotten about the Elite. Jun was about to fire at him, when the beast fell.

I think that's all of them. I've enjoyed it so far, and look forward to future chapters.

Oh, and if you've got some spare time, feel free to check out my fic, I would really appreciate some feedback.

  • 12.24.2010 8:59 AM PDT
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We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other.

You should check my story out, Helljumpers - Halo Epic

Its based off the deployment of a Squad of Force Recon ODSTs fighting during the end of the Human-Covenant War

  • 12.24.2010 10:52 AM PDT

We go head first into hell sir!

Awesome story, I can't wait for the next part!

  • 12.24.2010 2:44 PM PDT

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

Posted by: Gr33n Knight
That was well written. Aside from a couple grammar mistakes, it was very solid. I would suggest lengthening the chapters a bit, though. Chapter one in particular was very short, and I want more!

You should probably format the title to match the other fan-fictions(with [Story], or [Novel] followed by the title, and how far you have gotten in it), just so everyone will recognize this as a fanfic.

I liked the brief cameo of the Chief. I'm putting a few cameos in my fic as well, probably even Jun. It's also good that you plan it out before writing. I kind of just have a general idea of what's going to happen in the chapter, and just start writing, which usually leads to at least two rewrites per chapter...

As for grammar and spelling errors, I think I picked them out for you:

...channels, tunned in to the...He tunned in to a different channel...should be tuned, not tunned.
Jun emerged from behind the car when the Elite fired at him; He almost forgot about the Elite. Jun was about to fire at the him, when the beast fell.This one should be:

Jun emerged from behind the car when the Elite fired at him. He had almost forgotten about the Elite. Jun was about to fire at him, when the beast fell.

I think that's all of them. I've enjoyed it so far, and look forward to future chapters.

Oh, and if you've got some spare time, feel free to check out my fic, I would really appreciate some feedback.


Hey thanks for the picking out the errors

  • 12.24.2010 6:36 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel--In Progress]Jun: The story of Noble 3 after the Fall of Reach.

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

Also,

the different parts actually work as the chapters; the actual "chapters" work as divisions of that part...

for organization's sake

for instance, when Com. Grey says, "We're going to board that Carrier," there would have been un-needed information about Jun getting on the elevator and riding down, instead we flip right to him on the elevator.

I could have used the old "***" trick, but I like naming the different chapters.

  • 12.24.2010 6:42 PM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!

So far, I quite like this. Keep up the good work.

  • 12.25.2010 3:49 AM PDT

Lone Wolf Story: http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=50298964&p ostRepeater1-p=1

Yeah....

so I haven't been on b-net in... a really long time...

And I don't know when I'll find time to finish this...

Really sorry to keep you on this lame cliffhanger...

But I will finish it eventually!

  • 01.16.2011 5:11 PM PDT