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This topic has moved here: Subject: 01 - Alpha Base (Fan Fiction)
  • Subject: 01 - Alpha Base (Fan Fiction)
Subject: 01 - Alpha Base (Fan Fiction)

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.

We had evacuated Alpha Base. Well, not all of us... some of our best people stayed behind to cover our escape. It didn't matter anymore though, for the covenant were pinning us down. Over the COM I could hear all the distress calls; all of the soldiers begging for help. Too bad the only base capable of responding in time was toast.

"Dammit, Ray! Remove that dumb look you have on your face and pick up your weapon! The covenant ain't gonna die by themselves anytime soon!" The corporal shouted at me.

Whoops, it seems like I'd been staring at Alpha Base for some time.

"At once, Corporal." I replied. I picked up my MA5B Assault Rifle, and checked if my ammo was full. Of course it was; just like when I checked it five minutes ago back in the hog.

"How's the Hog doin' Lars?" The corporal asked Lars, our technician. Or at least we called him our technician; he knew stuff the rest of us didn't.

"I'm sorry, Corporal... We're out of fuel, and our turret is loose." Lars said, with a sad look upon his face.

"Alright, looks like we'll have to shoot our way out." The corporal said, trying to motivate us. Lars sighed.
Even though Lars were miles ahead of The corporal in intellegence, that didn't mean Lars should lead or group. Far from it. Truth be told, Lars was a coward, a rather big coward too, and the fact that he couldn't keep himself together whle under pressure didn't exactly help him get a promotion.

"Check your ammo." I said.

"I just did, you nitpicker." The corporal grunted at me.

"One can never be too cautious." I mumbled.

"Actually, Ray, you can. So shut your trap for a moment, please." Lars said, his voice as polite as usual.

I scouted for any other survivors, but just as I suspected, it seemed like no one else had made it this far.

"Hey Corporal, since we're most likely going to die, could you tell us your real name?" I asked.

"Hell no."

Lars chuckled, so The corporal sent him an angry look.

Suddenly, I could faintly hear a weak humming in the distance. We all could.

"Oh crap." Lars said.

"Wait, that doesn't sound like no Covenant!" The corporal shouted.

It was getting closer, and by now we could hear that the it was the sound of a M12, the Warthog. Strange thing was, it didn't sound like it was coming from Alpha Base...

"Corporal, I don't think it's coming from Alpha Base." Lars informed The Corporal.

"Don't you think I already know that? I'm not deaf, son!" The corporal shouted back.

While Lars and The corporal were busy covnversing, I noticed a group of COvenant headed our way. 4 Elites, to be precise. I gasped and tripped backwards, in front of my two fellow soldiers.

"G-guys, there are 4 Elites heading our way!"

"What's that soldier?" The corporal barked at me, now curious. I pointed towards the Elites, and right after I heard The corporal and Lars gasp while I stood up.

"Holy hell, take cover behind the Hog!" The corporal cried out. We didn't hesitate to follow his orders, and seconds later we all sat up behind the Hog panting.

"You think they've seen us?" Lars asked, his voice shaking.

"Of course they have! Start firing your weapons, god dammit!" The corporal barked at us.

As one, we popped out from cover and started unloading lead into the Elites' heads. I stood behind our turret, while The corporal was firing from behind the Hog's front. Lars, of course, cowered behind the middle. All he did was firing small unprecise bursts at the Elites.

"Left!" The corporal shouted out, which meant for us all to concentrate on the Elite furthest out to the left. The elites were firing their plasma rifles at our Hog, luckily none of their bolts were even near us. Appearantly, they had trouble focusing their fire.

In no time at all, the ELite furthest to the left dropped to the ground, rolling around twice before stopping. Now would be an extremely good time for that damn Hog to stop cowering and come save us.

I ducked back behind cover, reloaded my AR, and hopped back out again. I could now clearly see the Hog, and when I saw it's Gauss turret I ceased firing.

Of course, we were not out of this yet, so I squeezed the trigger of my Assault Rifle while aiming at the next Elite furthest to the left.

"Aaaargh!" Lars cried out. I turned my head and saw that some of his fingers had lost their skin. Yuck.

"My hand!" He cried out.

"We're pinned down over here!" The corporal yelled to the Gauss Hog.

"Bang!" An Elite flew over our cover, and landed a few metres behind us with a thud.

"Bang!" Another one got hit by the mighty Gauss cannon.

"Bang!" The last one got killed by a mixture of Assault Rifle and Gauss turret fire.

"You boys from Alpha?" I looked at the man, the Seargant, with awe. He was much bigger than myself.

"We were the first out, sir." I told him.

"Fall in behind me, We're taking Alpha Back!"

He tossed us some equipment and told us to fix up our turret. Lars knew his business; after 30 seconds he told informed us that the turret was fixed.

The corporal took the driver's seat, Lars got shotgun, while I hopped onto the turret.

Maybe we've got a chance after all. I thought.

-------------

That was my very first fan fiction of all time, so if you could please tell me how to improve I would be glad to learn. Don't be shy, tell me about all my spelling errors too.

Also, if you guys are interested I'll finish it.

[Edited on 01.20.2011 11:43 PM PST]

  • 01.20.2011 2:25 PM PDT

Horrible Story, Bro.

You should upgrade your English and then it could be considered a good story.

  • 01.20.2011 3:26 PM PDT

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.


Posted by: spartan912
Horrible Story, Bro.

You should upgrade your English and then it could be considered a good story.

Hi Robert, thought you left us?

Besides, I believe it's called "improve your English"? And in any case, I should improve my story telling , because I'm just trying to showcase some other perspectives of the Halo Wars campaign. So, if you think the story is horrible it's not all my fault.

[Edited on 01.21.2011 11:00 AM PST]

  • 01.20.2011 11:25 PM PDT

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? ... They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

It's actually not THAT bad buddy. I would suggest throwing in a bit more scenery to set the mood of the occasion because we're forced to forge our own setting to your tale. Keep introducing characters through their actions -- just ensure that you keep them dynamic and interesting. Every character should be capable of a novel of their own.

<3.

  • 01.21.2011 2:00 AM PDT

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.


Posted by: Humble Calamity
It's actually not THAT bad buddy. I would suggest throwing in a bit more scenery to set the mood of the occasion because we're forced to forge our own setting to your tale. Keep introducing characters through their actions -- just ensure that you keep them dynamic and interesting. Every character should be capable of a novel of their own.

<3.

Yeah, I guess not everybody has played Halo Wars. I'll keep that in mind when I continue, thanks.

[Edited on 01.21.2011 10:44 AM PST]

  • 01.21.2011 10:41 AM PDT

Stop touching youreself.

That's what she said :PPPPPPPPPPP XXDXDXDXDXDXxasufcdvfxkgn odbxiv

  • 01.22.2011 3:42 PM PDT

Horrible Story, Bro.

You should upgrade your swahili and then it could be considered a good story.

  • 01.22.2011 5:10 PM PDT

Jade McWilliams
-Toxic Smile Studios-

Dont be a hater now... :)

  • 01.24.2011 1:14 AM PDT

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.


Posted by: Odd Bob
Dont be a hater now... :)

It's alright, I know them both. They're just here to make me feel bad.

  • 01.24.2011 6:01 AM PDT

wtf, we dont know u, upgrade ur swahili and then maybe i could be considered a person who know u

  • 01.24.2011 9:37 AM PDT

I read it, characters are quite basic as of now and you are very heavily reliant on speech but otherwise it is ok. We'll take small steps and get your English skills up to par.

I'll make some edits in a Private Message I will send you when I can be bothered.
:P

  • 01.26.2011 7:24 AM PDT

Don't let him try and claim all the credit for changing a few sentences, Alloy.

[Edited on 01.26.2011 9:18 AM PST]

  • 01.26.2011 9:18 AM PDT

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.


Posted by: steadman
I read it, characters are quite basic as of now and you are very heavily reliant on speech but otherwise it is ok. We'll take small steps and get your English skills up to par.

I'll make some edits in a Private Message I will send you when I can be bothered.
:P

Well, I couldn't really do much in the 30 seconds leading up to when Forge rolls over the Elites. In my opinion, that is (Read: Wrong)

  • 01.26.2011 1:26 PM PDT

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.


Posted by: Wolverfrog
Don't let him try and claim all the credit for changing a few sentences, Alloy.

If he manages to change this into something that's overall more appealing I think he deserves a lot of credit for it.

Also; Wolver commenting in my thread: *faints*

Now that's professional.

By the way, I can't say there's an awful lot of "credit" to be gained here... yet .

[Edited on 01.26.2011 2:04 PM PST]

  • 01.26.2011 1:29 PM PDT

Jade McWilliams
-Toxic Smile Studios-

Posted by: TheGreenAlloy

Posted by: spartan912
Horrible Story, Bro.

You should upgrade your English and then it could be considered a good story.

Hi Robert, thought you left us?

Besides, I believe it's called "improve your English"? And in any case, I should improve my story telling , because I'm just trying to showcase some other perspectives of the Halo Wars campaign. So, if you think the story is horrible it's not all my fault.




I thought it was pretty good...If you tried it could be some sort of Machinima.

  • 01.29.2011 10:56 AM PDT

If you can read this, that means I'm not a Shaolin monk...

yet.


Posted by: Odd Bob
Posted by: TheGreenAlloy

Posted by: spartan912
Horrible Story, Bro.

You should upgrade your English and then it could be considered a good story.

Hi Robert, thought you left us?

Besides, I believe it's called "improve your English"? And in any case, I should improve my story telling , because I'm just trying to showcase some other perspectives of the Halo Wars campaign. So, if you think the story is horrible it's not all my fault.




I thought it was pretty good...If you tried it could be some sort of Machinima.

I think Ensemble already visualized it far better than I could.

Thanks, anyway.

  • 01.29.2011 12:46 PM PDT