Off Topic: The Flood
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Subject: Family Guy Quotes
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Lois( stewardess): Hello sir, do you need anything?

Arabian guy: *something in Arabian*

Lois: what?

Arabian guy: I asked for a blanket.

Lois:Oh.

Arabian guy: HA! I really asked, if you could be my wife, and you said yes, LEMME TOUCH YOUR FACE!

  • 08.23.2004 2:02 PM PDT
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" I dont think youre son-in-law, Peter,knew that u were supposed spit the wine back out" Peter's Drunk" Hey have any of u guys seen Peter Griffin, he said hed give me 100 bucks if i took my clothes off, and i did"

  • 08.23.2004 3:14 PM PDT

hey look my alphebit cereals telling me sumthing...it says oooooo.......peter those are cheerios

Posted by: DrummDragon
After nuke holocaust

Game over man game over!

Stewie, snap out of it!


(I love it they got a quote from Aliens in there)

  • 08.23.2004 4:13 PM PDT
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" Peter, your jealousy is sufficating me" Its because i love too much" "Peter, what are u talking about?" " Dance with me Louis, dance with me" ( Peter twirls around and hits bookcase)

  • 08.23.2004 5:06 PM PDT
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Touched By an Angel

Lawyer: And just where did the angel touch you billy? (holds out a doll)

Billy (not sure thats his name): ...here (points to the private parts on the doll)

Angel: Oh what are you gonna believe that kid or the guy with the friggin halo!?!?

  • 08.23.2004 8:38 PM PDT
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Posted by: Betrayer of Hope
Touched By an Angel

Lawyer: And just where did the angel touch you billy? (holds out a doll)

Billy (not sure thats his name): ...here (points to the private parts on the doll)

Angel: Oh what are you gonna believe that kid or the guy with the friggin halo!?!?

LMAO

  • 08.24.2004 5:46 AM PDT
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"We need a little less talk and alot more SHUT THE HELL UP!"- brian

  • 08.24.2004 12:31 PM PDT
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PETER: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party, an elephant and a fat white guy who is threatened by change.

  • 08.24.2004 12:55 PM PDT
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Stewie: [Picking up the phone] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,

[dialing number]

Stewie: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...

  • 08.24.2004 12:57 PM PDT
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guy-any questions
peter-why are the dinosaurs extinct
guy-because you touch your self at night

  • 08.24.2004 1:04 PM PDT
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Cleveland: Public urination is just wrong. Except during the Million Man March when protestors burned down our porta-potties and I used my stream of justice to put out the hate.

  • 08.24.2004 1:58 PM PDT
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Bryan:Peter, if you're gonna pull a party out of your ass, I think you should stand up.

  • 08.24.2004 2:28 PM PDT
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"Hi, im married 2 Katheren Zeta Jones, do u wanna go sleep with me?"

  • 08.26.2004 5:44 AM PDT
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(The one with the Witness Protection Program. The Answering machine beeps.)
*BEEP*
old perverted man-i haven't seen the muscley paperboy in a while.
*BEEP*
old perverted man-when is he going to bring me some good news?
*BEEP*
old perverted man-where are you, you piggly sum-blam!-?

  • 08.26.2004 3:13 PM PDT
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the perverts name is herbert

[Edited on 8/27/2004 2:41:41 PM]

  • 08.26.2004 3:55 PM PDT
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You forgot the part where Herbert says

"ok now your really startin to p*** me off"

  • 08.29.2004 12:59 PM PDT
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The funniest quote is when Peter is telling his story about Cheesie Charlies and a boy walks up to the ticket counter and says,

Timmy :"I have 13 tickets now, is that enough?"
Man:"Oh I'm sorry Timmy, but you need 15 tickets to live."
(Man opens a trap door under Timmy and Timmy falls down screaming)

  • 08.29.2004 1:11 PM PDT
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Posted by: Achilles272
PETER: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party, an elephant and a fat white guy who is threatened by change.

LMAO

  • 08.29.2004 1:14 PM PDT
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♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
wes: u want me to gt naked on my web came?

i have the funniest one right here

  • 08.29.2004 1:14 PM PDT
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Posted by: madcoconut
i have the funniest one right here

LMAO

  • 08.29.2004 1:17 PM PDT
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I don't know if anyone has used this yet, I just needed to quote something:

Stewie: You, cut my eggs. -Butler cuts eggs- Cut my bacon. -Butler cuts bacon- Cut my milk! Butler: I...I can't sir. Stewie: You fool! Take the milk, freeze it, then cut it! If you ever defy me again I will....

I forget the rest of the quote, and I don't even know if what I said is right. I haven't seen the episode in a long time. If you know the whole (right) thing, please post it.

That's my favorite quote.

  • 08.29.2004 7:13 PM PDT
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In court:

Police:Do you swear to the tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Peter:Yes. You bastard.

  • 08.29.2004 7:19 PM PDT
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Remember when peter sings "Hammer Time" and he's like Can't touch this.... except you... *points to hot chick* you can touch me

  • 08.29.2004 7:21 PM PDT
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kiss fanatic: We have Peter Griffin with some exciting news...-
Peter: MY WIFE DID KISS!
k.f.:Oh my god?! how does this make you feel
Peter: Well i feel like ive done kiss too

  • 08.29.2004 8:07 PM PDT
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( Peter filling out form at the docters office ) " I have the perfect plan. Where it says name, i'll put deceased, and where it says sex, i'll put no thanks i'm dead. "

  • 08.30.2004 9:46 AM PDT

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