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  • Subject: LASO Glitch
Subject: LASO Glitch
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____________(˜˜˜||˜˜˜˜||˜˜˜˜˜)_∏______
l | --------____.`=====.-.~:________\___|=======================[ oo]
|_|||___/___/_/~```|_|_|_|``(o)----------<)

No it's happening to fast

  • 01.31.2011 5:43 PM PDT
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Posted by: Horse Repairman
RC RuNz the internet. Like the superintendent.

Posted by: SouthPoIe
Clone is an internet God.

Posted by: DerpRoids
RC Clone is the anti-thesis of a lurker.

Posted by: KranBe
RC clone, we must find find out what this is we are up against!

A new threat? Earth's defenses haven't recovered from the last attack yet. We really are doomed.

  • 01.31.2011 5:43 PM PDT
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////Transmission: Code_Dread////

>>>Running Diagnosis<<<
---
---
---
<<<Clear. Message intact. Some radio Static>>>
~~~

We're taking heavy casualties! Request for new supplies ON THE DOUBLE! Soldier, anyone! If you copy this, please RESPOND! Send supplies/evac to us NOW, we're taking Hell down here. DAMNIT! They destroyed my WHOLE Strike Team, I've got 10,000 dead and another 1,000 dieing. Only myself and my personal team have survived long, and well, enough to send this message. And there's 5 of us, with that number threatening to end any second.
~~~
New_Log_Entry (#097, est. 0500 hours):

SH-T! They found us. My dieing men just reach the end. Cold, black death tightening it's merciless grip. This whole planet is going down!
~~~
New_Entry (#098 est. 0600 hours):
They found the last hiding spot on this planet. I'm the only one left. My personal staff have died off fighting severe bleeding, including from the mouth, stomach, and eyes. Never saw so much blood. Or gore. I've lost hope, don't bother sending help anymore. I've attached a file with a visual of what looks like their main ship. SH-T. As I'm typing this, the small cave I'm working in is crumbling around me. A rock the size of a station wagon fell right next to me. Not sure how much longer left I've got.
*Sharp, loud crack heard overhead*
F--k. Not the way I---
~~~~
///Audio Transmission cut off///
Would you like to replay?
Text version?
~~~~~

___---File_ofEnemy_ship
\\\Tranmissoin_End\\\

[Edited on 01.31.2011 5:48 PM PST]

  • 01.31.2011 5:43 PM PDT

They laughed at me......they thought I was crazy....well now who's crazy! Now who's crazy*fuzz*static* One last word......................................................... .....................................Alert PITA

  • 01.31.2011 5:44 PM PDT

OPEN FIRE!!!!!
DON"T LET ANY OF THEM ESCAPE!!!
ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!
DOM!
BAIRD!
COLE!
GET THAT CVA RUNNING UP! WE GOTTA HOLD THEM BACK!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGH!!!

  • 01.31.2011 5:44 PM PDT

Wipe me down!
ZAP a.k.a. Mr. Cool Guy, 2 Man Beer Club CEO

I just farted...and it smells like BROCOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIII!!!!!!

  • 01.31.2011 5:45 PM PDT

>>> INTERPRETED TRANSCRIPT FROM BLACK BOX RECOVERED FROM SACRED PROMISE >>>

DAMAGE CONTROL: Fire! Fire! Multiple hull breaches aft of meridian control surfaces, decks seven through twelve!

CAPTAIN: Jettison chemical weapons stores and take all other weapons systems, deck four through sixteen, offline.

WEAPON CONTROL: Doing so...

ENGINEERING: [simultaneous with above] It is done!

CAPT: Bring Devotion in close to protect our dead zone...request additional fighter support from Commitment and Patience...

COMMUNICATIONS: Devotion, this is Sacred Promise...request close support our stern. I repeat. Sacred Promise requesting close support our stern.

COMM. (Devotion): Sacred Promise, this is Devotion...will arrive in 1,200 seconds. This is Devotion, in transit now-arrival in 1,190 seconds.

COMM.: Commitment and Patience, this is Sacred Promise...request additional fighter coverage. I repeat. Sacred Promise requesting additional fighter coverage.

COMM. (Commitment and Patience): Sacred Promise, say again...your signal is breaking up.

NAVIGATION (Commitment and Patience): [overheard] Contact alpha has fired its main weapon!

DC (Commitment and Patience): [overheard] ...solid projectiles closing at 18 kilometers per second. Their trajectory will carry them through main engineering and drive section...brace for impact!

COMM.: [simultaneous with above] Commitment and Patience, this is Sacred Promise...are you receiving me? Over.

NAV. (Commitment and Patience): [overheard] I've lost altitude control...

DC (Commitment and Patience): [overheard] Engineering is gone, Sir! Main drive is offline-I'm reading a fuel cell rupture! Fuel cell rupture, Sir!

CAPT. (Commitment and Patience): [overheard] Sound general alarm! All hands abandon ship!

COMM.: [simultaneous with above] Commitment and Patience, this is Sacred Promise...are you receiving me? Over.

COMM. (Commitment and Patience): [overheard] squeal! {Sound is most likely communications equipment failure due to near instantaneous vaporization of ship.}

NAV.: Commitment and Patience has suffered full fuel cell containment failure - brace for impact in 5...4...3...2...

{Interruption: Klaxons and other warning sirens activate}

DC: Hull integrity compromised on all decks aft of meridian control surfaces!

NAV.: [simultaneous with above] Drive control completely offline!

CAPT.: Sound general alarm! All hands move forward of meridian, prepare to abandon ship!

NAV.: Sir! We are accelerating towards primary satellite!

DC: [simultaneous with above] We have a catastrophic over-surge event in drive section! Main drive has entered runaway state!

CAPT.: Set shields full forward! All hands abandon ship! Engineering; jettison fuel cells!

NAV.: [simultaneous with above] We will be entering the primary satellite's atmosphere in less than three minutes...still accelerating, Sir!

CAPT.: All hands not yet evacuated prepare for emergency atmospheric landing!

DC: Sir, structural integrity is under 63%-we have multiple hull breaches spanning several decks-the satellite's atmosphere is nearly non-existent...

CAPT.: [simultaneous with above] Redirect twenty percent (20%) shields aft-if we survive atmospheric entry you may distribute shields as you see fit.

NAV.: Brace for atmospheric entry in 9...8...7...6...

SECURITY: [simultaneous with above] Sir, still no response from engineering!

CAPT.: What?!

SEC.: [simultaneous with above] There are no life-signs in engineering and I'm reading all fuel cells are still on board!

NAV.: [simultaneous with above] 5...4...3...2...

  • 01.31.2011 5:45 PM PDT


Posted by: Zaphog
I just farted...and it smells like BROCOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIII!!!!!!


Quickly Alert Bungie Officials

  • 01.31.2011 5:45 PM PDT
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Posted by: Horse Repairman
RC RuNz the internet. Like the superintendent.

Posted by: SouthPoIe
Clone is an internet God.

Posted by: DerpRoids
RC Clone is the anti-thesis of a lurker.

Invincible

Perform an emergency slipspace jump now!

  • 01.31.2011 5:47 PM PDT

Preforming Slip space rupture under the Cole Protocol, see you on the other side boys

  • 01.31.2011 5:48 PM PDT

Wipe me down!
ZAP a.k.a. Mr. Cool Guy, 2 Man Beer Club CEO

that brocolli smell just slipped through the space in my butt

  • 01.31.2011 5:48 PM PDT

Samuel S. Trappen

yes, I'm unaffected! i'm the last hope

  • 01.31.2011 5:49 PM PDT

Hello? Anyone left out there? This is ground team, could really help if I heard some friendly voices! I'll upload my coordinates if there's anyone out there to find us. Counting 25 left of the original 1,000. Our CO's dead.

  • 01.31.2011 5:51 PM PDT

Good to hear from you, the forces are advancing east of your position, we need you to hold that position so we can capture 4 flags at once. We will get at least 1200 Cr

  • 01.31.2011 5:53 PM PDT

Samuel S. Trappen

I'm all you have left

  • 01.31.2011 5:53 PM PDT


Posted by: Zaphog
that brocolli smell just slipped through the space in my butt


Thats the least of are problems!

  • 01.31.2011 5:54 PM PDT
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Posted by: Horse Repairman
RC RuNz the internet. Like the superintendent.

Posted by: SouthPoIe
Clone is an internet God.

Posted by: DerpRoids
RC Clone is the anti-thesis of a lurker.

Posted by: Jun 052
Hello? Anyone left out there? This is ground team, could really help if I heard some friendly voices! I'll upload my coordinates if there's anyone out there to find us. Counting 25 left of the original 1,000. Our CO's dead.

Mike Charlie Company is still fighting too. We've still got two 'Hogs and a Grenade Launcher Falcon, but our Grenade belts are running low. We're going to try to make our way to your current position. Together we might be able to push to a more defensible position under that mountian 1.3 clicks to the south.

[Edited on 01.31.2011 5:55 PM PST]

  • 01.31.2011 5:54 PM PDT


Posted by: chevronsam
yes, I'm unaffected! i'm the last hope


Your just as doomed as us all!

  • 01.31.2011 5:55 PM PDT

calamity! if only we had more time!

  • 01.31.2011 5:55 PM PDT
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Posted by: Horse Repairman
RC RuNz the internet. Like the superintendent.

Posted by: SouthPoIe
Clone is an internet God.

Posted by: DerpRoids
RC Clone is the anti-thesis of a lurker.

Our Falcon just ran out Grenades. I hope you guys still have supplies over there because without some grenades for this things we'll never make it past those enemies.

  • 01.31.2011 5:56 PM PDT

I will own everyone in Halo: Reach

Geezzzz
Too much time on your hands right guys?

  • 01.31.2011 5:56 PM PDT

"I was too beastly for my team."

-Slodogk

erm...anyone else feeling left out?
i never finished the challenge or played since a couple days ago soooo...

  • 01.31.2011 5:57 PM PDT

Civilian 1: It's so FLUFFY!!! AHHH!

Civilian 2: RUN RUN RUN!

Little Girl: *SCREAM!*

Marine 1: SHUT THE -blam!- UP! HOLD IT TOGETHER! We'll be fine for now...

Civilian 1 Takes out camcorder

Civilian 1(Pointing camcorder): Hi, my name is *blam* and at approximately 21 hours ago, some THING attacked the city.

Civilian 2: We are held up at this convenience store and...

(LOUD SMASH IS HEARD!)

All: *SCREAM!*

Little Girl run away

Civilians 1 & 2: RUN!!!!!!

Marine tries to fight back to no avail and becomes decapitated

Little Girl runs off into the distance never to be seen again.

Civilian 1: Oh my... What are we gonna do!?!

Civilian 2: I don't know... I don't k....

Pack of THINGS ambush.

Camcorder picks up what appears to be non-human life forms eating them.

Random Thing looks closely into the camcorder lens, picks it up. And records the other things dancing. And proceeds to turn off the camcorder.

  • 01.31.2011 5:57 PM PDT


Posted by: RC Clone
Our Falcon just ran out Grenades. I hope you guys still have supplies over there because without some grenades for this things we'll never make it past those enemies.


No we have none... You were are last hope.

  • 01.31.2011 5:57 PM PDT

Not sure how long I can hold out, our survivors are down to 15 now. They found us. Our coordinates remain the same, but 15 people up against a squad of thousands? That's madness. We'll only last a few minutes.

F--k it. Take however long you need. We're going to give them any Hell we can. Even if that means we are going die trying. Invisible, get some ships ready. I have a good asset to try and take out a good quarter of them. He is the only one I expect to make it out. His escape from this Hellpit and into the next is our top priority.

  • 01.31.2011 5:58 PM PDT