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  • Subject: Why Adult Entertainment Videos Can Do Harm - Discussion
Subject: Why Adult Entertainment Videos Can Do Harm - Discussion
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

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Posted by: Vgnut117
Men are always going to objectify women. It's what we do. Men want to watch women in adult videos because of the urge we have to spread our seed among as many females as humanly possible before we drop dead.

No one on this planet has any right telling me I can't watch adult videos nor do they have any right telling me it's morally unacceptable. If a woman has a problem with me doing that (why I would be mentioning it to her I don't know) or anything else in my life then she can -blam!- right off.
Thats fine, as longs as you are happy with a woman who can go off with any man she wants and watch male (-blam!-) p0rn when ever she wants, or else it is just a total double standard.

By watching p0rn you are imagining you are having intercourse with some one who is not your partner. Are you seriously telling me that if the person you were watching was actually physically in front of you, you wouldn't start doing them?

Edit: Also just because we have been objectifying women for ages doesn't make it right, we have been killing one another for little to know reason, that does not make it right.

Edit 2: I am getting tired, I will be heading to bed soon (I live in the UK) so I might only be able to answer a few more posts.

- JFKES

[Edited on 02.10.2011 2:30 PM PST]

  • 02.10.2011 2:28 PM PDT

Doc: "i'm a pacifist"
Caboose: "your a thing that babies suck on?"
Tucker: "no dude, that's a pedephile"
Church: "tucker, i think he means a pacifier"


Posted by: JFKES
Posted by: SweetTRIX

Posted by: JFKES
Posted by: Robobeast
How do you propose a man exercises his -blam!-ity when his partner isn't as interested anymore? I believe you do not understand some of the realities of relationships and -blam!-ity. Believe me when I say that after two children women are not very interested in sex. At the moment your advice is simply for men to ignore it - nice one.
Then that is the partners problem. She is seeing intercourse as more of a one way thing for her. She should continue having intercourse with you, because she loves you, in the same way I guess you will help her tidy the house. You both have to do things which you don't really want yourself, in order to make the other happy. Of course people have needs, but resorting to other forms of stimulation is not the answer, they should instead asses the cause. I really do suggest you talk to your partner about it and explain how you feel.

- JFKES


Therin lies the issue though, no matter how much the two of you talk about it there is the chance that she is just done with frequent sex, and nothing you say may be able to sway her. So what do you suggest? "Dealing" with it and growing bitter at your partner over such a thing? Surely you wouldn't suggest ending a relationship over one's prudish behavior. So what's the option?
Let her know how much it means to you. Work out a system where if you do something for her to be nice to her, then she will have intercourse with you in order to love you. If this still isn't happening then I would suggest talking to a marriage councilor and working out how to discover a plan of action.


All that may work for some, but it is not a blanket solution, at least not a favorable one for all involved.

I understand why people would resort to p0rn or have affairs when something like this happens, but I do not think that is should be the answer.

I will never condone cheating in a relationship, married or otherwise. But in situations where your partner is not pleasing your needs (after a reasonable fashion), I see no reason why pr0n shouldn't be a viable option.

If she doesn't listen to reason, in the end, you should give up intercourse, because you love her. A relationship should not rest only in intercourse, and if you leave her because of it (or lack of it) then you are showing that you rate your own -blam!- pleasures above your (non-physical) relationship.

- JFKES


And what about her considerations for your needs? -blam!- relations are a large part of a healthy relationship, and if one half of the couple (either one) decides to stop taking care of the other, then there needs to be some form of exception. Whether that be pr0n or another form of compromise, expecting the "needy" one to just grin and bear it is just as selfish as the attitude you point out.

  • 02.10.2011 2:44 PM PDT


Posted by: JFKES
Snip!
This is why I try and limit the eye candy as much as possible.

  • 02.10.2011 2:50 PM PDT


It is at some points draining.
I'll try and keep it short and wrap up with my opinions now.

It is just that I do not think that it is as common.
It only appears less common, for example men are much less likely to speak up about things like domestic abuse and just try to deal with it, while women tend to be more... let's say, vocal. (this issue applies to our p0rn issue too). It's a glitch in the system, a hidden statistic so to speak.

Just because they know that it is happening, does not make it any more correct. I hate to use an analogy (I am told by those which know me that I use them far too much...) but say someone posted a video of them killing some one else, just because the person who posted it enjoys it, and knows that people who are watching it will objectify the person being killed, does not make it any more acceptable. I understand the difference between my example and that of amateur p0rn, but I think that the same basic logic applies.

Analogies are all well and good, but once again you could have used a better example; murder is illegal, most things in adult film are not. (Although I am very sure there is an underground market for snuff.) I understand your point, but moral and legal are seperate issues.
Ach, I'm getting very tired, sorry this post in particular is less well argued than the rest.

Not really, they are compliments, you say them to make the person feel better about themselves, which is totally different to objectifying women. You are still respecting the individual, and you are simply stating something about their appearance, not using their appearance for your own pleasure, turning them into an object for your use, nothing more.

True, but it could be just as likely a comment intended to be used to get into someone's pants, as it is a heartfelt compliment.


On one level I say that we should have freedom, but say I wanted to use my body to become a child rapist, would you still allow it?
I know it's wrong, I can't help but laugh a bit at this one ^^

Right, once again, it's legal vs illegal here. When I said people had the freedom to do what they wish with their bodies I did intend (and should have stated) within the boundries of the law. But mutual consent should always, always, 100% of the time dictate whether intercourse happens or not.

Interesting point. But you are not treating the scientist himself as an object, just his published work, which differs, because the work is an object, and is not an individual.
It could be argued that the p0rn video that is created at the end of filming is the equivilent of the scientist's published works. I do understand both outcomes have radically different values and uses, and I would regard the intellectual work more highly. Either way, this is the finished product by either means of production, and is thus equal in a capitolist's eyes (unfortunately)

Again, p0rn stars are individuals, they are encouraging these more extreme types of sex. You can argue that they never mean it to be replicated, but many people wish that it could be. The difference between not actually being live on Pandora and be an Avatar and p0rn in this case, is that often although people want both, they blame their partner if they don't get this fantasy intercourse.

First I would like to think that any relationship should have the consent and understanding that, if one half did not want to try a particular secksual act, then the half that is asking would understand because they care for their partner.
Now, I think it was argued before by somebody else, but trends are not set by the p0rn industry, but rather the p0rn industry caters to it's consumer's demands. Capitalism at its finest again.

The Call of Duty point

Okay fair point and I agree, but the "Hollywood" p0rn is often unrealistic, using false... members, siemen, that sort of thing.

No problem :) I am just thankful someone invented the enter button...
HAH! I hope that's not a jab at me Sir... (I'm going to assume Sir unless told otherwise)

-blam!-ion is a physical act, and watching something to stimulate it is also just as 'real', the betrayal although may not quite be equal, it close in the minds of many partners.
Fair enough, I think we can both agree on this one actually.

Sure, but in many cases that isn't why the partner is upset about someone cheating.
Of course the actual betrayal is why someone would firstly and foremostly be upset, but STD transmission is probably a more significant factor than you assume, for example to intentionally transmit AIDs is illegal for reasons such as this, and is a very real potential consequence.

I agree, but that is because I think that it is more in the open, I have talked to people who were totally distraught after finding downloaded p0rn on their boyfriends computer.
Yes, but these are personal, individual, unique cases, it'd be more reliable if the evidence was studied in a wider population to see trends and the like. Although I see where you are coming from.

Totally agree.
Glad you do. More people should be aware this is a serious issue.

Some times, but it is surprising how many people re-marry even after being unfaithful (sure it may break up again, but that does not change that fact that they were desirable)
Very valid point. Although again, I'd like to think that something like viewing p0rn could be easily solved so a relationship is put back on track (although I firmly believe there is no such thing as a "perfect" relationship). Also I'm sure you agree that p0rn is not the major, or even most significant cause of divorce.

P0rn can be seen as an act of betrayal, there is a physical act of -blam!-ion while watching p0rn. Cheating (if accepted) would cause no family problems, some stars are unfaithful all the time and it doesn't effect them, but they are a tiny minority, and IMO there is no point in them being together.
Stars as in famous people you mean? I hope you don't see them as a valid representation of the population at large. Even if cheating was accepted I believe it would cause family problems - for example, children would have difficulties identifying who their parental role models are at a young age, which could lead to difficulties in behaviour and discipline, leading to, well, you can guess I'm sure, Crime and the like.

The family can be a victim, if the husband is tired of his wife, and wont give up his satisfaction which he gets from p0rn.[.quote] If a husband is tired of his wife that will not be solved by giving up p0rn, whether he is obsessed with it or not. That is a clear communication issue, potentially domestic abuse even.



[quote]But really, I do enjoy arguing/debating with others, because even if I don't change the others mind, it secures in my own mind, my personal beliefs. I thank you for taking the time to answer and ask questions, prying deeper into my own mind and thought process.

I agree. Single minded-ness is what caused such things as the Crusades, and fuels the need for rebellion. 's tricky business, yo. I've enjoyed this even if I am shattered by now.

People need to have an understanding of other cultures and opinions. This is very evident in youtube comments, and Call of Duty.

  • 02.10.2011 2:55 PM PDT
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I agree with what you say, but I don't care.

  • 02.10.2011 2:57 PM PDT
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I agree that all of these negative things can happen, but I don't think that means that no one should be watching -blam!-. If you watch in moderation and realize that it's not an accurate representation of real life. I watch it, but not too much and I don't feel like my relationship has been affected by it at all.

I don't really see it as a form of cheating either. I'm not in anyway emotionally attached to the person on my computer screen, it's just something to look at to help get off.

I guess it just depends on the person, a lot of people probably aren't going to be too negatively affected by it, but some will.

  • 02.10.2011 3:23 PM PDT

Dating Age

For those looking to vent, get proper advice, or give it to those in need.


Posted by: JFKES
Thats fine, as longs as you are happy with a woman who can go off with any man she wants and watch male (-blam!-) p0rn when ever she wants, or else it is just a total double standard.

By watching p0rn you are imagining you are having intercourse with some one who is not your partner. Are you seriously telling me that if the person you were watching was actually physically in front of you, you wouldn't start doing them?

Edit: Also just because we have been objectifying women for ages doesn't make it right, we have been killing one another for little to know reason, that does not make it right.

Edit 2: I am getting tired, I will be heading to bed soon (I live in the UK) so I might only be able to answer a few more posts.

- JFKES

Whoa! Why would my girlfriend be going off with another dude to watch adult videos? By the way a woman that watches adult videos in her spare time? -blam!- yeah! Awesome. That sounds like my kind of girl.

Adult actresses materializing in front of my very eyes sounds pretty sweet as well.

So when guys are hanging out they discuss women in a -blam!- manner. Get over it. There's a big difference between that and objectifying them in every aspect of your life.

  • 02.10.2011 3:41 PM PDT

100% agree. My father taught me this and I have been able to stay p0m free.

  • 02.10.2011 3:48 PM PDT

Good old hypocrisy, what humanity does best.

Fuel for the fire

  • 02.10.2011 3:50 PM PDT

yep

  • 02.10.2011 5:53 PM PDT

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Where does -blam!- fit into this? roflmao.

  • 02.10.2011 6:07 PM PDT
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

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Posted by: SweetTRIX
And what about her considerations for your needs? -blam!- relations are a large part of a healthy relationship, and if one half of the couple (either one) decides to stop taking care of the other, then there needs to be some form of exception. Whether that be pr0n or another form of compromise, expecting the "needy" one to just grin and bear it is just as selfish as the attitude you point out.
Marriage counseling. If she knows how much it means to you, and she understands how upset it is making her partner, then she should have intercourse, just out of love.

- JFKES

  • 02.11.2011 1:57 AM PDT
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

- Batman

Posted by: superfonz666
I'll try and keep it short and wrap up with my opinions now.
I didn't just mean it against you, but arguing against like ten different people in one thread over the space of several hours when I was tired last night, took it out of me.

It only appears less common, for example men are much less likely to speak up about things like domestic abuse and just try to deal with it, while women tend to be more... let's say, vocal. (this issue applies to our p0rn issue too). It's a glitch in the system, a hidden statistic so to speak.I think that both how many marriages/relationships are damaged by p0rn, and how many it is damaged for reasons like you were saying, are both hidden statistics.

Analogies are all well and good, but once again you could have used a better example; murder is illegal, most things in adult film are not. (Although I am very sure there is an underground market for snuff.) I understand your point, but moral and legal are seperate issues. Sure, but is every thing legal acceptable?

Ach, I'm getting very tired, sorry this post in particular is less well argued than the rest.No problem, its fine.

True, but it could be just as likely a comment intended to be used to get into someone's pants, as it is a heartfelt compliment.And if they didn't really know the individual and did it, I would say that is just as bad.


I know it's wrong, I can't help but laugh a bit at this one ^^

Right, once again, it's legal vs illegal here. When I said people had the freedom to do what they wish with their bodies I did intend (and should have stated) within the boundries of the law. But mutual consent should always, always, 100% of the time dictate whether intercourse happens or not.
I don't understand why the law should be the point of acceptability, it can change almost anytime and has no real moral structure. Say its an English person, who goes to other countries, where it is legal for him to have intercourse with young girls, would that be ok, if as soon as he had taken part in what he wanted to he flew back home?

It could be argued that the p0rn video that is created at the end of filming is the equivilent of the scientist's published works.It could be, but it would be wrong. The published work is not for someone to use only for them self, the published work is not involving an individual being objectified.

I do understand both outcomes have radically different values and uses, and I would regard the intellectual work more highly. Either way, this is the finished product by either means of production, and is thus equal in a capitolist's eyes (unfortunately)See my above point.

First I would like to think that any relationship should have the consent and understanding that, if one half did not want to try a particular secksual act, then the half that is asking would understand because they care for their partner.
Now, I think it was argued before by somebody else, but trends are not set by the p0rn industry, but rather the p0rn industry caters to it's consumer's demands. Capitalism at its finest again.
P0rn industry takes the trends and expands on them in order to stay ahead of the competition, they are pushing the trends forward.

Okay fair point and I agree, but the "Hollywood" p0rn is often unrealistic, using false... members, siemen, that sort of thing.I think your Call of Duty point would work with those cartoon p0rn videos, but not when it actually involved real people doing the real act.

HAH! I hope that's not a jab at me Sir... (I'm going to assume Sir unless told otherwise)I am indeed male, and no it wasn't a jab at you, but all these posts between the two of us would be unreadable if not for paragraphs :)

Fair enough, I think we can both agree on this one actually.Good.

Of course the actual betrayal is why someone would firstly and foremostly be upset, but STD transmission is probably a more significant factor than you assume, for example to intentionally transmit AIDs is illegal for reasons such as this, and is a very real potential consequence.Yes, but there are ways to restrict the spread of HIV and other -blam!- infections.

Yes, but these are personal, individual, unique cases, it'd be more reliable if the evidence was studied in a wider population to see trends and the like. Although I see where you are coming from.I can't really argue this point anymore, and I wont be able to until studies are done.

Glad you do. More people should be aware this is a serious issue.Yep.

Very valid point. Although again, I'd like to think that something like viewing p0rn could be easily solved so a relationship is put back on track (although I firmly believe there is no such thing as a "perfect" relationship). Also I'm sure you agree that p0rn is not the major, or even most significant cause of divorce. No, not the most major cause, but it often is a result of the more serous causes, such as the partner no longer wanting intercourse.

Stars as in famous people you mean? I hope you don't see them as a valid representation of the population at large. Even if cheating was accepted I believe it would cause family problems - for example, children would have difficulties identifying who their parental role models are at a young age, which could lead to difficulties in behaviour and discipline, leading to, well, you can guess I'm sure, Crime and the like.Clearly I don't see them as a representation of the population, but they are part of the population, and thus their way of living is still a valid way of living as accepted by our society. In the same way, if the children were taught p0rn was alright from a young age and that both parents watch it, then they would relate to women (or men) differently and in a far larger more -blam!-ized way.

If a husband is tired of his wife that will not be solved by giving up p0rn, whether he is obsessed with it or not. That is a clear communication issue, potentially domestic abuse even.Maybe, but giving up p0rn is needed for the partner to feel accepted and adequate.

I agree. Single minded-ness is what caused such things as the Crusades, and fuels the need for rebellion. 's tricky business, yo. I've enjoyed this even if I am shattered by now.I was the same last night :P

People need to have an understanding of other cultures and opinions. This is very evident in youtube comments, and Call of Duty. Agreed.

___________________

First I would like to say that somewhere along my arguments, it changed from just trying to allow people to see the possible effects of p0rn in later life, into a discussion about the morality and dynamics of married life. While this is a very valid argument, it wasn't quite what I wanted to be discussing. Although I will continue it, can people bare in mind (including myself) the main points in the OP.

Second, I would just like to say a big thank you to the flood, I never thought I would see the day when not one (well, maybe one or two) trolls would post in a thread so intrinsically linked to intercourse and -blam!- experience. Thank you!

- JFKES

  • 02.11.2011 2:16 AM PDT

I've been known on here to defend Reach a lot but I in no way think Reach is perfect. If you say "Reach is horrible, halo is ruined" I'll give you the same extremest attitude right back down your throat. Say "Reach could be better if..." I'll have a nice discussion with you.


Posted by: Alpha Prime
Fuel for the fire
I have Aspergers. I'm I safe from that then?

  • 02.11.2011 2:31 AM PDT
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It depends on the person. Like some women are so anti-p0rn and see it as a form of cheating. But for me, I don't care if my boyfriend watches p0rn. Whatever floats his boat. Kinda jealous that he doesn't share though. >:|

  • 02.11.2011 3:09 AM PDT
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

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Posted by: Rhea
It depends on the person. Like some women are so anti-p0rn and see it as a form of cheating. But for me, I don't care if my boyfriend watches p0rn. Whatever floats his boat. Kinda jealous that he doesn't share though. >:|
Maybe, but what happens if you meet the love of your life and she (he) doesn't want you to watch p0rn. Will you be able to give it up?

- JFKES

  • 02.11.2011 5:01 AM PDT

Me and my girlfriend both watch pr0n either seperately or together so it's hard for me to sympathize with people who can't handle it. I don't have a single male friend who doesn't watch pr0n, nor have I met a woman my age or younger (26) that didn't own a dildo.

Besides the ones that reject pr0n for religious reasons, I'd say most of the people supporting the OP are of an older generation, or they just feel threatened.

The idea of it corrupting society is proposterous, because all evidence points to us becoming more civilized -blam!-ly in the 100 years since pr0n became an idea. Women's rights have advanced to the point where I can't even tell a woman she's attractive without fear of legal consequences. The age of consent, well, did that even exist 100 years ago? Pretty sure "it it bleeds it breeds" was the rule of thumb there. -blam!- crimes are considered to be the most heinous one can commit.

People just have a freer attitude about sex than they used to, and while it may be partially because of the rise of pr0n, it's not the sole factor, nor is it even a bad thing in the first place. Sex doesn't have to be a taboo topic, and the reason so many are fearful of it, or let it factor so heavily into their feelings, is probably due to lack of exposure more than anything.

I just don't get why sex is so often considered to be inherently evil. Actually I do get it. It's because everybody lets their feelings get hurt. Either "oh man I don't think I had a good performance there" or "he couldn't get it up. I must be fat!" or "we slept together so we must be soulmates". That crap is on humanity, not the act of sex.

  • 02.11.2011 5:06 AM PDT


Posted by: JFKES
Posted by: Rhea
It depends on the person. Like some women are so anti-p0rn and see it as a form of cheating. But for me, I don't care if my boyfriend watches p0rn. Whatever floats his boat. Kinda jealous that he doesn't share though. >:|
Maybe, but what happens if you meet the love of your life and she (he) doesn't want you to watch p0rn. Will you be able to give it up?

- JFKES


Dude, if the love of her life wants her to stop watching pr0n then he's probably not a suitable "lifelong love".

  • 02.11.2011 5:07 AM PDT
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Posted by: MideonNViscera

Posted by: JFKES
Posted by: Rhea
It depends on the person. Like some women are so anti-p0rn and see it as a form of cheating. But for me, I don't care if my boyfriend watches p0rn. Whatever floats his boat. Kinda jealous that he doesn't share though. >:|
Maybe, but what happens if you meet the love of your life and she (he) doesn't want you to watch p0rn. Will you be able to give it up?

- JFKES


Dude, if the love of her life wants her to stop watching pr0n then he's probably not a suitable "lifelong love".
Then how come, before p0rn was so much on the market, "lifelong love" was more common?

- JFKES

  • 02.11.2011 5:17 AM PDT
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Turn Off the Lights, I'm Watching Back to the Future.

Where does the problem lie though? The partner's addiction to po­rnographic material or the other partner's failure to satisfy their se­xual needs? Either put out or let a man do his business.

Besides, when you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with their quirks and their faults. My girl may not like the material I get off to, but I may not like the way she puts tomato on the bottom of my sandwiches thus making the bread all soggy.

  • 02.11.2011 5:36 AM PDT

Change is impossible, guidance is possible.

But where will I get new moves?

  • 02.11.2011 5:45 AM PDT

Lyricus Renasci [LR]

Posted by: Cart of Onions
100% agree. My father taught me this and I have been able to stay p0m free.


I hope you get blue balls.

  • 02.11.2011 5:51 AM PDT
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Posted by: MideonNViscera
Me and my girlfriend both watch pr0n either seperately or together so it's hard for me to sympathize with people who can't handle it.
Yet you should respect their beliefs.

I don't have a single male friend who doesn't watch pr0n, nor have I met a woman my age or younger (26) that didn't own a dildo. I am not trying to be funny, but how do you know if every woman you meet owns a dildo or not?

Besides the ones that reject pr0n for religious reasons, I'd say most of the people supporting the OP are of an older generation, or they just feel threatened.Or they disagree with you and think that p0rn does break up marriages/relationships and as such isn't worth ever truly getting into.

The idea of it corrupting society is proposterous, because all evidence points to us becoming more civilized -blam!-ly in the 100 years since pr0n became an idea. Women's rights have advanced to the point where I can't even tell a woman she's attractive without fear of legal consequences. The age of consent, well, did that even exist 100 years ago?P0rn doesn't corrupt society, it is something that some partners resort to which can damage society. The break down of relationships is the result, and that result signals the break down of society.

Pretty sure "it it bleeds it breeds" was the rule of thumb there. -blam!- crimes are considered to be the most heinous one can commit.I don't get what you are on about here. Sure I agree that -blam!- crimes are considered to be really bad. But what has that to do with what we are talking about?

People just have a freer attitude about sex than they used to, and while it may be partially because of the rise of pr0n, it's not the sole factor, nor is it even a bad thing in the first place. Sex doesn't have to be a taboo topic, and the reason so many are fearful of it, or let it factor so heavily into their feelings, is probably due to lack of exposure more than anything.Yet many people who are addicted to p0rn wish they weren't.

I just don't get why sex is so often considered to be inherently evil. Actually I do get it. It's because everybody lets their feelings get hurt. Either "oh man I don't think I had a good performance there" or "he couldn't get it up. I must be fat!" or "we slept together so we must be soulmates". That crap is on humanity, not the act of sex.I don't think anyone thinks sex is considered inherently evil, if they do I don't know why. But like all things it can be abused.

- JFKES

  • 02.11.2011 7:56 AM PDT
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Posted by: Ebb and Flow
Where does the problem lie though? The partner's addiction to po­rnographic material or the other partner's failure to satisfy their se­xual needs? Either put out or let a man do his business.

Besides, when you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with their quirks and their faults. My girl may not like the material I get off to, but I may not like the way she puts tomato on the bottom of my sandwiches thus making the bread all soggy.
I bet she would love you just as much, if not more if you gave up p0rn. Its stupid to say you love the faults, you don't, but they are part of the person you love and so they don't matter while you work to remove them.

- JFKES

  • 02.11.2011 7:58 AM PDT